Gilbert's Thoughts

Gilbert Nightray stared down at the peacefully sleeping boy. " I finally have you back," he said softly, " I will not lose you again." He quietly strode to the door, through it, and with one last glance at Oz he shut the door with a soft "click."

With heavy feet, Gil went to his room. He fell onto the bed, his long coat spreading out around him. Gil bent one knee and curled his arm around his head. Then he turned his head toward his arm, hiding his face-ashamed. Ashamed and guilty that he was too much a coward to tell Oz how he felt about him.

Oblivious to the fact that he had left the door ajar, Gil didn't know those emerald eyes that haunted his dreamed were curiously spying him now. Gil squeezed his eyes shut and clutched a fistful of the sheet above his head. Alone, always alone in the darkness of the night he didn't have to mask his feelings.

With trembling fingers, Gil reached down and unfastened his pants to release, and grasp, the hard aching arousal he felt for the one person he was willing to die for. "Oh Oz," he whispered aloud as he began to slowly pump himself, " I want you so badly." Gil clutched the sheet tighter while the image of that blonde hair, those green eyes, and that playful smile invaded his mind. Ever oblivious that those same eyes now watched him intently.

As more images filled his mind he pumped harder…faster. " Oh Oz," Gil said breathlessly as his body squirmed on the bed. All the while confused, yet tender eyes were being shown the raw passion and deep emotion of a man tormented by his secret, forbidden feelings.

Harder and faster still Gil pumped, trying to relieve the aching need. Beads of sweat glistened Gil's hair and body while he panted and groaned deeply. He pressed his face to into his arm, squeezed his eyes shut, and cried out, " Oz…oh fuck…Oz!" The hidden green eyes could not turn away from watching the liquid pulsing out of Gil, spreading over his fingers.

Motionless. Gil laid there. Hair a wild mess, clothes rumpled, as Gil desperately fought to control his breathing. Staring up at the ceiling with damp eyes he whispered softly, " I love you, Oz." As the footsteps retreated silently, a slow wide smile crossed Oz's face and he thought to himself, " I love you too, Gil."