Warnings: non-explicit sexiness
This goes with my 'Auror Training' and 'Auror Games' fics, but can be read separately.
Draco disembarked from the party bus and frowned at the acres of cars and trucks and SUVs that stretched out east and west. "It's hideous," he said.
"It's just the parking lot," Harry said. A family of six walked by wearing matching Mickey Mouse tee shirts and bum-bags. The father wore a hat that said 'Official Bikini Inspector' and his shirt had deep, love-handle exposing holes where the sleeves had once been. "And some of the people." Next to pass by was a group of teen boys in enormous jeans belted at mid-thigh and too-shiny basketball jerseys. Harry smirked at the look on Draco's face.
"That man to your left has a name tattooed around his neck," Draco said. "Is it his own name? Is he worried that people will forget it? Is it in case he gets lost?"
"Just think of it like a safari park."
"At a safari park, one doesn't have to leave the vehicle."
The rest of the tour group was moving away from the bus. "Come on, Draco, we'll be left behind." Harry started after the other wizards and witches. That got Draco going. He certainly didn't want to be left alone amongst the tawdry and the poorly-dressed.
Draco had jumped at the chance to attend an international Auror conference held in the United States; he hadn't expected that it would include a 'field trip' out into Muggledom. His prejudices against Muggles weren't due to him thinking that they were naturally inferior; it was that their culture was, to his mind, hopelessly tacky. As far as Draco was concerned, one of the worst sins one could commit was to display poor taste. A passing girl was displaying more than that: quite a lot of her arse-crack was showing above the waistband of her jeans. Draco looked like he'd just swallowed a live gecko.
The conference organizers had bought amusement park passes for the attendees, so they were able to walk right in... once they negotiated the tall turnstile gates. "It's not going to eat you," Harry said as Draco hesitated. The people behind Harry were getting impatient and grumblesome. "Go!" Harry gave the blond a shove.
"Bloody hell, Harry, what did you do that for?" Draco grumped from the other side of the gate. "I nearly fell!" Draco looked around at the amusement park, taking in the gift shop filled with logo-emblazoned shirts and hats, the skee-ball game with its flashing lights and blaring techno music, and some contraption involving chairs and a cable that shot screaming people straight up into the sky. "It's even worse than I expected. This is amusing?"
Harry put an arm around Draco. "If you're good, when we get back to the hotel, I'll-" He whispered something into Draco's ear that made the blond grin.
"What if I'm bad?" Draco asked as he stroked Harry's fingers suggestively.
"I will have to punish you severely," Harry growled.
"They're doing it again!" One of their co-workers was pointing an accusing finger at the two of them.
Shacklebolt gave the tattle-tale an impatient look. "We're not at the Ministry, Quackenbush. I don't care what those two get up to as long as they don't frighten any children."
An American Auror by the name of Turteltaub gestured at the horror contraption behind him. "Who wants to go on the Ejection Seat first?"
Draco stepped behind Harry as if he feared Turteltaub would put him on the ride against his will. "What?" Harry asked. "I've seen you do positively mad things on a broomstick."
Draco was staring at the ride operator. "Yes, well, I was in control, not a man with gold teeth who, for all I know, might have had whiskey for breakfast. No, must have had whiskey for breakfast. No one could dress themselves like that sober." The tour group watched a German Auror get 'ejected'. Her screams were very, very loud.
After that, the group meandered through the park. Harry tried to get Draco to try the Scrambler, the Tilt-A-Whirl, the Octopus, the Ferris Wheel... to no avail. Draco was convinced that all of the ride operators were a step below trained monkeys. He did agree to the Tunnel of Terror ride, in which he snogged Harry senseless.
"I'm hungry. Do you suppose any of this food is safe?" Draco surveyed the choices: Pronto-Pups, Mini-Donuts, Cheese Curds, Dippin' Dots. "The ice cream of the future? Then how can it be here right now?" he snarked.
"Hush." Harry smacked the side of Draco's hip. "I'm getting one of those funnel cakes. We can share."
Draco allowed that the funnel cake was quite tasty, but then a man sat next to him and started conducting a very loud conversation on a cell phone. The twentieth time the man bellowed, "Know what I mean?" Harry knew he had to get Draco out of there before the blond exploded.
The group was moving on, anyway. Draco's eyes opened wide when he saw the next attraction, which was housed in a large white gazebo. A carved wooden sign said that the Merry-Go-Round had been built in 1899. It had exquisitely carved wooden unicorns and dragons and pegasuses, and its polished brass fittings gleamed. The central machinery was camouflaged by panels painted with misty scenes of mermaids and fairies. "It's lovely," Draco said, "My mother took me on a carousel almost exactly like it when I was little."
"You're such a mummy's boy."
Draco walked toward the Merry-Go-Round, leaning over the barricade. The ride operator gave him a nasty look. "You want to ride, get it line."
"May I just come in and look at it. It remin-"
"Get in line."
"Fine," Draco huffed. And he got in line with the mothers and the little kids. Harry watched, hiding a smile behind his hand. He wondered how far Draco would take it. Would he would actually... Yes, he did get on the carousel. He inspected the painted panels and admired the animals, not noticing the looks he got from the mothers. He was still standing when the carousel started to rotate.
Harry could hear the argument over the calliope music. "You have to sit down or hold onto one of the animals when the ride is moving!" the operator yelled.
"I'm still looking!" Draco yelled back.
"Park your skinny white ass, cupcake."
Harry had to read Draco's lips. He was pretty sure his boyfriend said, "How dare you speak to me that way, you cranially-deficient trollspawn." But he did find an unoccupied pegasus to hang onto just before he rotated out of Harry's sight. When he came back into view, he was sitting on the pegasus. His legs were too long for him to have them in the stirrups comfortably, so they dangled down, touching the floor on the pegasus' downward arc. Harry got his camera out of his pocket and snapped a picture on the next go-round, just as Draco was leaning forward to stroke the carved details of the animal's head. This was going on their Christmas card. Harry could hear snickering behind him; other Ministry employees had seen what was happening.
When the carousel stopped, Draco got off reluctantly. It was a facet of Draco's personality that never failed to surprise and delight Harry; he loved seeing these glimpses of his boyfriend's child-like side.
"I cannot believe you took a picture of that." Draco was eyeing the pocket on the front of Harry's shirt, obviously plotting ways to get the camera.
Harry smiled and buttoned his pocket securely. "I'm not the only one. Did you forget about the tour group? Those pictures are going to be all over the Ministry come Tuesday. Your father is going to be so pleased." Draco turned pink. "But you know, later, we can re-enact it, with me as the pegasus." Harry bent over a little and wiggled his butt.
Shacklebolt rubbed his face and sighed. "Perhaps that was a little inappropriate, given where we are, but stop being so annoying, Quackenbush. They're twenty years old. They're supposed to be addled by their hormones."
Next was something called the River Rafting Adventure. Draco watched the round rafts spin slowly in the narrow water-filled channel and allowed that it looked quite safe. It was a bit dull, actually, Harry thought. A few minutes in, they heard a loud splash and screams. Draco's eyes widened. "What's that?" A short time later, they heard it again, but louder. Their raft rounded a corner and was hooked by a chain underneath that pulled them up a slope. "Oh, no. Make this thing stop." Draco started to panic a little, tugging at the foam-covered bars that kept him in his seat, and Shacklebolt hit him with a small paralyzing spell for his own safety.
Harry laughed, but took Draco's hand comfortingly. One thing that the blond was not good at was accepting that he was not in control of a situation. Harry had an inkling of what was going to happen, but Draco hadn't a clue.
Draco kept his eyes wide, wanting to see what was about to befall them, but at the top of the slope, they were hit by a waterfall. Before they could get the water out of their eyes, they were flying down a steep hill, and then they hit a pool of water that soaked every part of them that had been spared by the waterfall. "Unbelieva- what the he- no bloody warning- son of a- ruined my trousers-" Draco growled at the man who released his safety bars and took off out the exit as fast as he could.
Yes, the white trousers were streaked by the not-so-clean-as-it-should-be water. But, being summer-weight, they were also rendered partly transparent. Draco's fine cotton shirt, also white, was completely see-through. "Good thing you wore boxers today," Harry said, amused. "Otherwise everyone would be seeing everything that belongs to me."
Draco stopped and looked down at himself. "Oh, for- At least my underwear isn't white. I'd probably be arrested if it was."
Harry pulled Draco close and pushed back his wet hair. "You look so sexy like that, you're giving me ideas. We should see if we can find a place for a quick one." Draco smiled and let the fingers of one hand brush Harry's behind.
"Shacklebolt! They're- URK!"
Not another word was heard from Quackenbush for the rest of the day, as Shacklebolt had langlocked him. The Minister looked at Harry and Draco and shook his head. "Do you two think you could at least try to control yourselves a little? I don't really care, except I'm worried that I'm going to lose my temper and turn Quackenbush's tongue into a rutabega or something irreversible like that."
Harry and Draco pulled away from one another, but their eyes kept meeting, and they exchanged knowing smiles that promised much. "Don't forget, I upgraded us to the honeymoon suite," Harry murmured. "Hot tub. Champagne. Strawberries and chocolate sauce. And I got us something special at the sex shop down the street. I'm going to have you all tied up later."
Quackenbush tried to protest, but all he could do was make faint, enraged squeals. Harry patted him on the head, then caught up with Draco and slid a possessive hand into one of his back pockets.