A/N: I'm in a strange mood today... This random plot-bunny was hatched while I was playing piano. There's treasure everywhere, to quote Calvin and Hobbes. I've reversed everyone's genders…. And sometimes their personalities. Please enjoy this series of drabbles, and R&R if you like it. If you don't, R&R anyway - constructive criticism is appreciated. Flames, however, are not.

Part 1: Katniss Everdeen

"Arrogance is in everything I do. It is in my gestures, the harshness of my voice, in the glow of my gaze, in my sinewy, tormented face."

-Coco Chanel

"Like, the winner is... Primrose Everdeen! Yeah, Primmy!" Effie Trinket's gruff voice rebounds around District 12.

What? There was no way that this is going down. My stupid little brother Prim... he would never make it. To the Capitol, that is. Like I'm going to let that dummy have all the glory.

"I volunteer!" I yell, my masculinity rolling off me in waves. God, I'm so awesome.

Prim stares at me in shock. "No, Katniss! You can't do that! I wanna be Tribute! I wanna, I wanna, I WANNA!" He bursts into tears.

What a crybaby. I roll my eyes. "Too late, d-bag. See you at the Capitol... oh, no I won't. Loser!"

I sniff, disgusted, as I stare down at the filthy inhabitants of – dare I say it? – my district, from the stage. I stomach heaves as the stench of a thousand unwashed bodies washes over me. It must be the elevation of the stage – these people have never smelt this bad before. I choke as Effie, the great, fat bear, sticks the microphone under my nose. Luckily, he mistakes the gag for emotion.

"Oh, you poor, brave soul, sacrificing yourself for your entire District," he drawls in a very heavy accent. "If you don't want to say anything, that's fine."

I recover myself just in time to grab the microphone and flash a toothy, white grin at the cameras.

"Look out, Capitol, because here comes your new Victor of the 74th Annual Hunger Games! The gorgeous," I brush a hand over my thick, wavy, conditioned-by-hand locks, "smart, silver-tongued – and for the ladies, silver-lipped – and all around humble, not to mention the most amazing person in District 12 – nay, all of Panem – the unique Boy Tribute from District 12… Katniss Everdeen!"

I raise my muscular arms over my head to acknolegde the uproar of cheers that is sure to hit me any second. Any second now. Any second. Any second.

I narrow my eyes and jab a rude gesture, made all the more potent by the fact that it is made by moi, and imagine the cries of joy that are surely happening over in the Capitol. Oh, how they must be celebrating my coming.

I run my tongue over my teeth and wink at Peeta Mellark. She's a barrel-chested girl with curves to rival a snake's – definitely a prize to keep my eye on. She blushes and glances down at her feet, twisting at one of her sleek pigtails.


"Gale. Nice of you to drop by." I flex one of my biceps nonchalantly as the slim brunette floats into the Justice Building room.

Gale smiles dreamily and holds up two fingers in a peace sign. "Katniss, just keep the peace when you go out there, man. Violence is not the way to go, man. Just stay calm and let the vibe push everything into place," she murmurs.

I grimace. Gale is the only one who would do this. She's always been this way – peaceful, non-violent, quiet (mostly – in my glorious fantasies she's a chatterbox). "Gale – look after Prim, okay? He's too stupid to look after himself. Normally, I wouldn't ask, but if – I mean, when I come home, a corpse in my house would really ruin the moment."

"Sure, man. I'll make sure the little boy is eating. We're all brothers, man. We gotta look out for each other in this world, and…" she trails off, starry-eyed.

"Thanks, Galey girl. Now, get out. I have to get into character for the train ride." I turn away, having already forgotten my friend.

She slips away without so much as a goodbye. That's what I like about Gale. She's silent when I need her to be silent – so I can talk.

Once I'm alone once more, I stride to a nearby mirror hanging on the wall. I beam at myself.

"Oh, Katniss, how do you do it? How do you look so absolutely fabulous?" I ask myself. "Katniss, you are worth it!"

A/N: So... there you go. Katniss the arrogant jerk. Next up - Haymitch!