Brutally Elfired, a Fire Emblem fanfiction

Announcer: Each and every one of these guys has been very careless with their units and they know it. Of course, they will never tell anyone what happened there. All they will say is "I beat the game!" or something like that. Well how did they beat the game? What happened before they beat it? Well here are your answers on the most embarrassing show, Brutally Elfired! Here's your host, - *gets slapped* ow!

Peach: Do you always have to say that?

Announcer: Yes. *gets hit with an angry vegetable*

Peach: Wrong answer!

Ephraim: Duuuuuuude, the show's on.

Peach: Oh, yeah...

Ike: I hate game shows.

Peach: Hello players!

*Everyone stays silent*

Peach: I said hello players!

Ephraim: Hi Peach

Marth: Hi Sheeda. Peach! I meant Peach!

Roy: Hey Peach.

Ike: Hi Leanne!

Peach: Are you ready?

All: Hector yeah!

Hector: Hey…

Ephraim: Shut up!

Lyn: *smacks Ephraim* don't tell Hector to shut up!

Eirika: Yeah, Ephraim is so gonna stay here.

Mario: How about we all shut up!

Peach: Thanks. I didn't want to say it. *phone rings* Hello?

Marth: …Can I leave now…?

Ike: Let's go.

Mario: *grunts and throws a fireball*

Peach: I know right? He's so – Hey!

Mario: Oops! I hit your phone! Allow me to put the fire out! *runs and gets a pale of water*

Peach: Anyway, let's start. Hey Ephraim, get up here!

Ephraim: …Okay…

Peach: Explain this snapshot!

Ephraim: I was k-killed by a Gorgon.

Peach: More details~!

Ephraim: The Gorgon thing turned me into a stone and killed me on the next turn.

Mario: Wait… when you are a stone, it says you can't move.

Ephraim: …Well you can't move until 4 turns have passed.

Mario: Your sprite shows you moving. I don't get it.

Ephraim: …Don't be such a Grado soldier!

Marthio5x: Hey! That's my line!

Ephraim: Shut up, Lilina!

Marthio5x: Do I really look like that Ostian piece of trash?

Hector: Hey! I'm offended!

Lilina: Yeah, go get her, Father!

Lena: It's about time I can get some experience points.

*Hector gets owned by Marthio5x's forged sword.*

Marthio5x: Greil mistake!

Lilina: You enemy unit!

*Lilina gets owned by Marthio5x's forged silver sword*

Marthio5x: I'm the one wearing blue, Grado soldier.

Lena: EXP, come to me!

Mario: If you like The Sacred Stones so much, why is your username Marthio5x?

Marthio5x: My favorite characters are Marth, Mario, and Eirika. Ch. 5x was my favorite chapter.

Mario: I see.

Peach: Go back, dude! You don't belong here!

Marthio5x: *shocks Peach with a forged Levin Sword and goes back.*

Mario: Peach sucked. This show didn't go good. Hey Marthio5x, can you shock her again?

Marthio5x: Sure. *shocks Peach*

Mario: Peach, you must go to the Unused Section.

Peach: What? No!

Marthio5x: Yes! *shocks Peach so much, she dies and disappears*

Lena: What's the Unused Section?

Mario: The place a character goes when they lose all HP.

Lena: …

Mario: Well I don't know if we can continue this… If we can, let's do it.

After Peach's death, everyone felt great. Oh yeah. Ike and Marth ran off and no one saw them…except for Marthio5x who just let them leave