A/N: We are getting to a turning point in the story guys. And I'm going back to weekly updates. New updates every Saturday or Sunday. Deal? Deal.
I was walking to school with Deuce as we held a small conversation. Swinging my hand and arm that he was holding back an forth be asked, "So how'd it go with Rocky?" I tensed just a little at the mention of her name. "Fine. We are still friends." He didn't bring up the subject again and neither did I.
I rarely talked to Rocky today, but I don't think she was bothered by it. Every class we had together she was busy with work. I guess it worked out in my favor though. I wasn't sure what to say to her. I kind of just wanted to distance myself from her as much as I can.
After I found out Rocky liked me I didn't a lot of thinking. Ultimately I just shrugged it off. I kept getting confused. It wouldn't be bad if I liked Rocky, I mean she is really pretty, and she treats me amazing as it is, but I'm with Deuce and I don't like girls.
But I don't have to like girls to like Rocky right? So I could just like Rocky, but I'm with Deuce...and I don't like girls. Do I like Deuce? I mean we are dating, but do I LIKE him? Of course, but I like Rocky more.
Ugh, see I just get lost in a mess of feelings, and I don't understand them at all that's why I just need to take a break from Rocky. I heard the bell to off signaling the end of class. Time for lunch with Rocky and Deuce...great.
We all sat at the table staring at each other, and I couldn't take it. Ty just sort of watched us as we all secretly talked with our eyes. I sighed and stood up making everyone's attention focus on me. It was just too quiet, and we were in a cafeteria! I turned to Rocky and Deuce, "I need to be away from you guys. I need time to think. Come on Ty." I pulled him with me to another table where I explained everything.
He was surprised at first but smirked and said, "I totally new you had a thing. I like you way better with Rocky than stupid Deuce," he said which resulted in him being punched on the arm. I looked over to them seeing they were having an intense conversation. They weren't loud enough for us to hear them, but you could tell they were having some sort of argument. I tried to ignore what could be going on and focused on talking to Ty about anything else.
Two weeks had passed and I hadn't talk to Deuce or Rocky. They both would smile at me, but never did they get even remotely close to me. I also noticed Rocky began hanging out with this girl, Mackenzie, and I absolutely hated it.
After a week Deuce was talking to me, but she...she continued ignoring me. I get I asked for space but I didn't mean for forever. I even talked to her and she still hasn't talked to me since. It was last Monday. We had just been told we had a project that would be due on Friday, today, and he let us choose our partners.
I walked over to Rocky and smiled. "Be my partner?" I asked sweetly. "Oh, sorry CeCe, Mackenzie asked first. Next time, I promise." I wanted to be mad, or think that she was avoiding me, but the smile she gave me made me believe her so I went on and worked with some random boy. He was smart and just told me that he'd do all the work. That just gave me more time to watch Rocky with that girl. I tortured myself all week.
We were presenting today and all I had to do was introduce us and point as my partner explained things. When it was Rocky's turn I paid close attention. They smiled at each other a lot and I couldn't help but notice the stolen glances between them. It infuriated me to see her doing that. She should be presenting with me, stealing glances at me, and smiling at ME. They finished and I immediately asked to go to the bathroom. I stomped out the door and locked myself in a bathroom stall. I just couldn't help but wonder...why was this affecting me so much?
The bell rang and I hopped off the toilet seat, grabbed my bag, and walked out the bathroom door. I walked quickly to the cafeteria, not even bothering to get Deuce like I usually do. I saw Rocky in line grabbing lunch so I waited patiently. As soon as she began looking for a table I ran up to her. "Hey Rocky, sit with me." I pulled her to the nearest empty table and she looked at me a bit surprised.
"Um, hey CeCe. What's up?" She said laughing nervously. "Why haven't you been talking to me?" I asked getting straight to the point. "I don't know what you are talking about." She revealed honestly. I sighed and hit the table. "You don't have to lie, okay? I know you've been avoiding me so just tell me why!" I demanded forcefully standing, but keeping my hands on the table.
"YOU were the one who told me to basically fuck off until you felt like talking to me, when I respected you and told you to tell me when you were ready! And I don't know why, because it isn't like I tried to break you and Deuce up, it's not like I wanted to tell you everything yet. If it was up to me I wouldn't even have this fucking dumb ass crush on you! So I don't know what the fuck your problem is, but look at whose fault this is before you go yelling at the fucking victim!"
Rocky stood from the table and turned to walk away. "Rocky..." I croaked out. She held her hand up and pinched the bridge of her nose with her eyes closed tightly. "Don't." She breathed. I watched as she walked away from me and I mentally cursed myself. Why did I even get mad in the first place? Oh yeah, my confusing ass feelings. I gotta make this right.
I took a quick glance around, and I guess we were louder than I thought because all eyes were on me. Rocky had just made it out the doors and now even more people stared. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I threw my hand over my face to cover them as I ran after her.
I bumped into people, I fell a couple of times, but I kept going. I needed to find her and fast.
I walked out the cafeteria doors and then proceeded to run out the back doors of the school. I hadn't shown anyone this spot yet, and I'm pretty sure no one knew about it. In the back doors of the school is basically in the place where all the old run down classrooms are, in building 6. Building 6 has no cameras or anything, because it wasn't in the budget for remodeling. I assume only 12th graders and their girlfriends come here for…private time.
As I walked out the back doors, I was greeted with the lovely image of a beautiful garden. This is why I'm here. This is where I clear my head. I thought back to the conversation with CeCe and I was just so devastated. I was mean to her.
I had reason, but I was still mean. I felt something vibrate in my pocket and I quickly pulled it out.
CeCe X333: Hey, I'm really sorry about earlier. Truth is I'm just confused about my feelings. I'd really like to talk to you. Oh...and I broke up with Duece.
I sighed and closed the message. I'm not so sure how I feel about all this.