Disclaimer: Last time I checked my last name wasn't Davies or Moffat, so I guess I don't own Doctor Who.
A/N: Wow, this is my 50th story here on ... I can't believe I've written that many stories already...anywho, this story was inspired by the Time Traveler's Wife, more specifically the moment when Henry tells Clare, "I don't feel alone anymore. Will you marry me?" I need to write a Doctor/Rose wedding one day. Please, leave a review on your way out
I Don't Feel Alone Anymore
Loneliness had been his constant companion in his life. Even as a child, it had been so and when he had grown up, it had been the other Time Lords who looked down on him. And after they had gone, his loneliness had taken a sharp turn for the worse.
But now, he almost never noticed. As long as he was holding her hand, it was almost gone. When he looked into her hazel eyes, he could almost forget that they were all gone. She had chased it all away, and she didn't even know. He could tell her, he could do that, yeah, but he risked revealing something far more intimate and much more precious.
The love he felt whenever they were together.
His hearts beat only for her, his very being only belonged to her.
If only he knew how to tell her that. That she had changed his life, made him believe that sometimes the Universe could be kind, even to him. That she had made him believe in love again. She had chased away so many of his nightmares and replaced his old ones. Now, he saw her being torn to pieces by a Werewolf, touched by one of the plague carriers at the hospital in New Earth.
And he had a feeling, this experience would be one of them. Rose without her face. And all he wanted to do was to cup her face, just to touch her, hoping she would know he was there and that he was going to bring her back. And true enough that was his dream that night. The Wire, Rose calling out for him, him never being able to get to her and bring her back safely. No face, for the rest of her life.
He jolted awake, leaped to his feet and ran across the hallway to her room before he even knew what he was doing. His hand was already on the handle, before her stopped to think. She was asleep. He couldn't just barge in and wake her up, just because of some stupid nightmare. He wasn't like that. He was the Doctor, he didn't do this. He was always hiding his feelings away; it was a part of his image. But he needed her. He could no longer deny that simple fact. He needed her like a drowning man needed oxygen. He needed to hold her tight, to feel she was actually there, and had her beautiful face back.
He pushed down the handle and slowly opened the door. The light from the hallway filled the room, and he saw her lying on her bed, looking like she had done hours ago. Her face was definitely there, and he let out a breath of relief. He slowly walked towards her and sat down on the edge of her bed, reaching out to do what he had been longing to do in the dream. He cupped her face and in her sleep, she leaned into his touch. He wished he could do this during the day, both of them awake, but no.
"Doctor..." She was waking up now. He thought about running, but what was the point. She knew he was there, she always knew. Her eyes opened and she smiled at him. "'Morning."
"No, it's not morning yet," he said. "I'm sorry I woke you up, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Of course, I'm okay, why wouldn't I be?" She noticed the look on her face. "Doctor, what's wrong? Did something happen?"
"No, it's... it's just me being a silly, old man. Go back to sleep. I'll see you later," he said and tried to get up, but she grabbed his hand. The expression on her face told him, he wouldn't get away with it that easily. "It's really nothing, I just had a little dream. A nightmare and I just wanted to make sure you were all right, because I am an idiot for thinking it might have been real." He sat down again. "I'm supposed to be some almighty Time Lord, but one stupid little nightmare, and here I, needing comfort from a human, no offence," he quickly added, "but I..."
"Doctor, you're not invincible," Rose said. "We all have nightmares every once in a while. And tell me, are 'almighty Time Lords' supposed to eat jam right out of the glass? Are they supposed to be travelling with humans? Are they supposed to be travelling at all?" The Doctor shook his head. "See, you are doing loads of things the rest of the Time Lords wouldn't do, so why are you worried about this?"
"Because... I am getting too attached to you. Whenever I think of life without you, it hurts. And I can deal with that at the moment, but... it's just... you make it stop."
"I make what stop?"
"The loneliness. I have felt alone my entire life, ever since I was just a kid, but when I'm around you, I don't feel alone anymore. I feel... happy, like nothing in the world can touch me. But when you're gone, it will come back and that scares me."
She reached out and pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing his back. He rested his head on her shoulder and breathed in her scent. It was gone now, the uneasiness, the insecurity, the raw fear. He was home in her arms.
"I love you," she whispered in his ear. "And I will stay with you forever, if you want me to." He pulled away a little, staring at her. "Didn't you know, I was in love with you? I thought I had made it-" she was interrupted as the Doctor kissed her quite fiercely. She moaned and started to kiss him back, pulling at his hair. His brain started to shut down as he deepened it. Fireworks exploded around him as she started to unbutton his pyjamas.
"Rose, what are you doing?" he asked as she broke the kiss, to lean down and place kisses along his jaw, still unbuttoning his shirt.
"We're in a bed, Doctor. Do you know what you do in a bed?" She pushed the shirt off him. It was getting harder and harder to focus.
"Em, sleep..." he said weakly.
"Yes, that and other things," she replied. "Exciting things and I bet you're going to love it, my Doctor."
He couldn't say he didn't.