God, my lack of inspiration is frustrating. And that frustration thankfully GAVE me some inspiration. Enjoy.
Dedicated to the unbelievable Slashburd! :)
Pairing: Randiasi (Randy/Ted)
Warning: Slash, Cursing, Angst and Fluff... Rated M
Disclaimer: I own a wicked, wicked mine and many stories who call for me to finish them.
His sorrow and regret were slowly but surely turning into frustration. An immense level of frustration. 10 times he had tried to call Ted already and 4 times he'd stood in front of his hotel-room and knocked, loud and clear, calling out his name. But neither the phone had been picked up nor the door had opened for him. Ted was ignoring him, big time.
Up to five minutes ago, he had understood why. Knew that he deserved it. But now, now it was just getting ridiculous. It had only been a kiss. To John's cheek. Nothing. A friendly gesture. Though he knew Ted had been there, had been watching and had ALWAYS been extremely jealous of their easy friendship. There had never been anything between he and John and there would never be, but Ted's low self-esteem when it came to their relationship was blurring his vision when it came to John.
Times in and times out, Randy had assured him that nothing was going on, that Ted was the only one, would always be, and the younger would always listen and finally give in... until another gesture of friendship would pass between them. And the whole game would begin anew.
5 hours ago the whole incident had occurred. 5 hours since Ted had stormed off without a word and locked the door behind him. 5 hours in which Randy had tried to get into their shared room again. 5 hours of nothing. If he had any hair on his head, he would have ripped it out by then. It had never taken Ted that long to forgive him, to see his own over-reaction. Never ever had he ignored him for that long, that badly. Enough was enough.
The two floors from Cody's room -which he'd invaded right after his first failed try to talk to Ted- to their joined one were taken in a matter of seconds, his long legs carrying him up the stairs, rather than waiting for the elevators, his stomps heard all over the floor as he marched towards room 401 with the honest intention of breaking the damn door down if he had to. But he didn't need to demolish anything. Two doors down he stopped dead in his tracks, seeing his lover just emerging from their room, about to close the door behind him without realizing his presence.
As soon as his lover's name left his lips in a whisper, he saw him stiffen and in the next second, Ted was already scrambling to get back inside of the safety of their room. But that was when the 'Viper' struck. In a heartbeat, he was standing right behind the blond and had his colossal hand wrapped around his wrist, stopping him from opening the door fully.
"Theodore Marvin DiBiase."
This time his voice was a lot more stern and cold and Ted immediately tensed at the venomous tone. Randy pressed his body firmly against the younger's back and lead him inside their room that way, growling as he felt the blond struggle against his grip. Kicking the door shut behind them, he let go of Ted's wrist and instinctively ducked before the blond even swung his palm at him, avoiding the sure to be teeth-shattering slap. He was quick to grab Ted's arm again, his fingertips almost tearing the smooth skin as he pulled him firm against his chest and seconds later pushed him back again forcefully enough for Ted to fall ass-first onto the big bed behind him.
The blonde's fiery growl was cut off with one of Randy's own, the older male glaring daggers into his lover as he stood in front of him, one hand on his hip, the other shooting out to give Ted a more than clear sign to stop whatever he wanted to say.
"Enough. You listen to me now and I don't wanna hear one damn sound from you before I'm finished!"
The situation came close to a parent scolding its child, but at that moment, Randy did not care. He was beyond frustrated and desperate, not knowing what else he could possibly still do or say to make Ted trust him. The blond -though he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest- thankfully didn't utter a sound of protest, making Randy sigh out in relief.
"Really, Ted. We're together for a year now and we've gone through this like what... 10 times already? And I'm tired of it. Each time I talk to John or touch him, COMPLETELY INNOCENTLY I might add, you go off the roof. And I don't know how long I can take this anymore. It's frustrating that you don't trust me enough. I'm not Kristen and I'll never do to you what she did, EVER."
Right after their first fight, Ted had told him that Kristen's betrayal was the reason he didn't trust easily anymore, and back then, Randy had completely understood it. But now... He'd really hoped that by now the Southern Boy would have realized that he'd never hurt him in any way or form.
Ted visibly flinched at the words and turned his head away from the older man, clearly wanting to hide the sorrow and pain flooding his eyes.
"I don't know how often I have to tell you that I won't betray you. I won't cheat on you or lie to you. I've been honest and faithful the whole time. Hell, I've given up my family for you and yet you still do not trust me. It's as if you don't WANT to believe in us. As if you don't give us a chance..."
Ted had gotten up by the point Randy finished his ramblings in a long, drawn-out sigh, the blonde's eyes shimmering with tears and pain as the usually so bright blues were now a clouded gray. His voice wavered a whole lot and he had to clear his throat twice before the following words came out in a bitter tone, hushed; anger and hurt speaking.
"I don't wanna hear that. I don't wanna hear your crap anymore. This is ridiculous. You know how I feel and how much I feel for you and still..."
He'd taken one, two, three steps forward while talking, his voice getting stronger with each inch he got closer to his older lover though his eyes got darker with each word slipping past his quivering lips. It seemed as though he wanted to leave, to storm past Randy and out of the door, but the brunette didn't give him a chance. Before Ted could walk past him, he took a step sideward and blocked his way, a bitter growl escaping his far too tight feeling throat.
"If you leave this room now, Theodore, we're over. I mean it. I can't do this anymore. I have no friggin idea what else to do or to say to make you realize that you're my world now. You and Al are everything to me. But... if you don't wanna see it, if you just go on ignoring my words, my feelings, my actions, everything I do for you and rather want to believe that I'll jump John's or anyone else's bones at the very first chance I get... I'm done. I'm too tired to run after you anymore. To make you see. I just don't have the energy to fight with you anymore. If you really think I'm gonna throw us away for one quick fuck with whomever, then you're free to go."
He took a representative step aside to give Ted the room to leave if he wanted to, but the younger didn't budge. He did not move a bone. His eyes were downcast, the anger and frustration completely gone and the surprise and pain now visible to his older lover even though he was trying to hide them behind a facade of blankness. It didn't work. For a minute, maybe even two, the blond didn't say a word, Randy's brow rising with each passing second as he waited for a reaction, broad arms crossed in front of his painfully tight chest. But nothing came.
"You're free to leave."
Randy's voice was soft this time, barely a whisper as he repeated his earlier offer, tilting his head some to look into Ted's eyes. But the younger was still as unmoving as before.
"I... I don't wanna go."
A range of emotions flooded Randy at those few, simple words, but the biggest of them was relief, a long sigh slipping past his lips as he closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them again, he found Ted's clouded baby-blues staring straight back at him, probably for the first time ever since they had started this charade tonight.
"I... I don't want you to leave. I want to... I want to fight for us. I want to change, to trust you. I DO trust you."
Ted's sweaty, trembling hands had taken hold of his older lover's cheeks by then, the intensity in his gaze almost convincing Randy, but only almost. After those past months, he didn't believe that last sentence one bit, even struggled at first when Ted captured his lips in a tentative kiss. He pulled away before they even really touched, sighing heavily and shaking his head. Two tries he needed, before he found his voice and he was quite proud to say that it didn't waver as much as he thought it would.
"If you DO trust me, then please, PLEASE tell me what your problem is. Because those past hours sure as hell didn't feel like it."
They stood eye-to-eye then, Ted's lips tightly pressed together as he gnawed on them while Randy searched his features for any signs of the truth. He'd never witnessed Ted being so hard to read, the younger man's showing so many emotions and feelings that it was hard for his brain to catch up with them, to understand them and especially to process them. And the worst thing was, that the blond did not seem to have an answer for him.
"Ted, please." He tried it a lot softer this time, desperation in his voice as his hot breath gently washed over his lover's stoic features. Reaching his arms out, he took hold of Ted's hands, almost stumbling when the blond let himself fall back onto the bed. Their hands though, stayed laced, just as their gazes did.
"I... I don't know. I'm scared I think."
"NO! No..." The relief was instantly visible on Randy's features, the older man relaxing again as Ted shook his head almost wildly from left to right. "No... I... Of the future. Of... what will come or not. Of our future together..."
"... What if they fire me? Or if you get injured? Or you retire before me, or I retire before you, or... What if -by any chance- we won't tour together anymore. What if Vince finds out and fires us? Or tells us we can't be together anymore?..."
"... You'll realize how boring I really am, how different we really are from each other, and you'll find someone who's more like you. More what you want and need and..."
"Theodore! Baby! Stop it, please!"
The blond gulped audibly as Randy's voice finally got through to him, stopping his rambling abruptly. The room fell silent for quite some time, the two of them just gazing at each other, Ted's eyes damp and clouded, the younger man rather suddenly noticing the wetness on his own cheeks and slowly lifting a hand to touch the salty liquid. But his lover was quicker. Swiping the few droplets away with his thumbs, he cupped Ted's cheeks in his large hands, a small, sympatric smile tucking on the corner of his lips.
"Baby... What if nothing of all this will happen? What if we master all obstacles thrown our way? What if we love each other forever? What if we die together? What if we grow old together, happy, satisfied and deeply in love? You know that there is no guarantee for anything. You know that everything can happen at any time. But if you LET me, I promise you to fight for us and our love. You just need to fight with me. I can't promise you that we'll stay together for the rest of our lives, but I can guara-damn-tee you that I will love you forever and that -and this IS a promise- I will never ever cheat on you and there will never be anyone in my life that I will want or need more than you."
Again, Randy waited for his lover to reply. To process his words and formulate some of his own, but this time, he gave him more time. Stroking Ted's cheeks softly with his thumbs, he kept his gaze firmly on the younger's features and watched the range of emotions pass through those cobalt-blue eyes until he noticed a small tuck at the corner of Ted's lips.
"I... I know that. All of it. And..."
Breaking their eye-contact for a moment, the blond inhaled sharply and let out a long, exaggerated sigh before a soft, almost inaudible chuckle left his lips and he shook his head.
"I must be a pain in the ass. Me and my fits. Me and all my worries. Even though I know you will never do anything to hurt me."
Now it was Randy's turn to chuckle, lips twitching up into a knowing smirk before he leaned down to press a single, short but meaningful kiss to Ted's lips.
"You can be a pain in the ass sometimes, yes, but you're MY pain in the ass. And what a hot one. Now... do you want..."
"Yes. I... I want to fight for us. I will do anything to make us work. I swear, I..."
"Don't swear or promise anything. Just tell me that you'll try."
And Randy meant it. He'd learned himself the hard way that promises were broken more often than wanted, rather going with an honest and straight 'maybe' than a with a half-assed 'yes'. And knowing Ted and his insecurities, a 'I'll try' would mean the world to him, already exceeding all his expectations he'd had at the beginning of their turbulent relationship. Back when he still thought Ted would never feel the same for him than he felt for the Southern Gentleman.
"I will try."
Now though, with those three simple words coming out of his lover's plush lips, he knew he'd been wrong all along and he'd never been happier about it.
R&R, pretty please!
*runs off to all the other stories she's started but didn't finish yet*