Hello again my lovely readers! Sorry it took so long for me to update. I appreciate your "kind" inquiries (I'm looking at YOU, Dark Lord Gaol!) into my health. I'm fine, but last Wednesday I went to the doctor's and received a surprise mole removal.
Also, in happier news, a poem I wrote will appear in the book A Collection of Poets! It comes out this fall. ^^
And now to the exciting conclusion to Second Helpings!
Thanks to Konpeki Rei for betaing and other support. I don't own Kid Icarus. Enjoy!
Less than a second passes before Viridi retaliates. She opens up the picnic basket and draws out a long yellow tube.
"What is that?" I ask in confusion.
"An all- natural lemon popsicle. But it also makes a decent blade!" she answers, swinging it around like a sword.
"Yikes!" I dive under the table for cover.
She lifts the tablecloth and waves in my face. "Hate to sound cliched, but here's your just desserts!" And she whacks the frozen treat across my cheek. The icy-ness of the food doesn't lessen its sting, though.
I roll out from underneath and grab the first form of ammo I can get my hands on- a third of a lengthy loaf of bread. I think it's called a baguette, but what do I know?
Viridi makes a lunge towards my chest, but I block it with my starch product. Soon we're galloping across the room, our "swords" locked in battle.
"I feel like a knight," I say.
The Goddess of Nature just giggles. "You look like a complete dweeb!"
"Every dweeb has his day!" Oh great, why did I say THAT again?
Whack, slice, dodge, counter. We keep going at it until the ice pop begins to melt.
"Time!" Viridi yells. I pause. "Let me grab the other one."
"Nuh- huh," I respond, knocking the basket onto the kitchen floor. "Now we fight mano- a- mano."
"You mean mano- a- womano," Viridi says quietly. Then she grabs a vial off of the table and blows its contents in my face. I start sneezing.
"Ugh! Pepper!" I sneeze. She just laughs.
"Ah, does the little angel have the sniffles?" she croons in a mock- cutesy voice. I ball my fists. I snatch the plate with the still- warm bacon on it and start slapping the delicious pig flesh in her face. Hot grease soaks her cheeks, which are developing bruises from the impact of the meat.
"Ouch! That really hurts!" she cries- no, literally cries. Tears are pouring out of her eyes.
I end my assault. "Sorry," I tell her.
But before I can even blink, she's gotten hold of the fruit salad and has poured the entire bowl over my head. I rub berry juice out of my eyes. I grin and shake my hair- which not only frees any remaining consumables stuck in there but also barrages Viridi with them. Surprisingly, she doesn't mind that much. In fact, she tries to catch some of the food with her mouth. She doesn't succeed in grabbing any, but she giggles her adorable laugh the whole time.
Eventually, all the fruit is off my body. Viridi and I are both still snickering.
"Sorry about the bacon," I pant. "I really didn't mean to hurt you."
She stops her chuckling. "It's OK," she whispers, but the look on her face tells me it's not. She sounds like she's thinking of something. But what?
I find out the "what" fairly quickly. Viridi whips around and now has an entire basket of tomatoes. Seconds later I'm completely red and smelling like pizza.
"There. NOW it's OK," she chortles. I clear my face and look down to inspect the damage.
"This is my best toga! I had it specially made for tonight!" I shout furiously. I glare at the girl in front of me. I point my finger. "You," I growl. "You. Will. Pay."
"Geez, it was a joke, all right? Settle down," Viridi says with an eye roll.
I don't settle down. Instead, I yank the first thing that's within reach- a water pitcher- and throw the stuff inside towards her.
Liquid splashes all over Viridi's top half. She gasps as the cold H2O hits.
Now, remember that Viridi has the appearance of a twelve- year- old- girl. However, the game we're from is Japanese. And the Japanese love making kids look older than they really are. Now think about physics and the laws of nature. When water gets on something, it becomes wet. When cotton gets wet, it becomes see- through.
See where I'm going with this?
Anyway, back to the action. Viridi is throwing a temper tantrum. "PIT! THIS DRESS IS DRY CLEAN ONLY! HOW DARE YOU! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?"
For a preteen, Viridi is pretty well- endowed. They aren't huge, but they certainly exist. No where near as big as Lady Palutena's, though...
… I sound like a pervert.
I'm focusing on two things. Unfortunately, I voice my feelings about these two things at the goddess's command.
"Boobs," I say under my breath. Immediately I regret my action. I wince in embarrassment. But that's nothing compared to how Viridi reacts.
"YOU ARE DISGUSTING!" she screams, running towards me. The force of her impact knocks me against the wall. I groan and slide down into a heap.
I'm being pummeled. "You- *punch* are- *punch* the- *punch* most- *punch* unsavory- *punch* person- *punch* in- *punch* the- *punch* world!" she roars. I see tears in her eyes from both anger and sadness. "I hate you, Pit!"
There's nothing I can do. I deserve this, all of this, I'm an awful person. How can I be an angel if I have such a dirty mind? I can't even have dinner without causing an incident.
If only I had calmed down when she told me to...
Of course. I have to calm her down.
Viridi is still crying and dealing blows with her fists, but I manage to snake my arm out from under me and wrap it around her. I pull her close- right up against my chest. She gasps. I bring her even closer and grab the back of her head with my other hand.
"I'm sorry," I breath. "I really am. I didn't mean to do that. I just did. I'm sorry, Viridi. Please, don't hit me anymore."
This is the closest we've ever been. Her head is bobbing up and down as I breath in and out. I can feel my toga ripple whenever she exhales. Her tears soak through the cloth onto my skin.
"Pit? Please... let me go," she says slowly, carefully. She's trembling. I stroke her ponytail some more, hoping to make her feel less scared.
"No," I answer. I move my hand off of her cornsilk hair and cup her chin. I point her face towards mine. An old and familiar buzz flows through me. Oh man, had I missed it...
I tilt my head down and brush my- you know what, I've been avoiding saying the word for what I'm doing up to this point because I was worried that if Viridi read these stories and saw the verb, she would sucker punch me so hard I would be forced back into that room in the Underworld where my first game started. But I don't care anymore. I'm gonna come right out and say it.
I tilt my head down and kiss her.
I've only kissed Viridi two times before, and both were way back when I fought Cragalanche for the second time. They don't even belong in the same realm as the liplock I'm getting right now.
Why? Well, last time it was nothing more than a quick peck. This goes deeper and longer.
We keep on going until I'm vaguely aware of someone else in the kitchen. I pull away slowly and look up.
Palutena's there, beaming.
"What the heck? How long have you been there?" I cry as I jump to my feet.
"You're my little angel, Pit. I'm so proud of you." Her voice is full of joy.
"OUT," I shout. I point towards the door.
"Fine. Clean up in here, will you?" she replies and leaves.
"We really should," Viridi pipes in. "This place is a mess." My stomach growls, but Viridi just grins. "Tell you what- you clean up, I'll see what I can salvage for dinner. But no eating anything of the floor. I don't care how much health it gives you."
I say some form of an agreement., still stunned from both the kiss and Palutena's spying. Before too long the kitchen is spic and span. Dishes are arranged on the table and the candle has miraculously stayed lit the whole time. I sit opposite of the goddess. She passes me the still- warm French fries and we dig in.
Soon the greasy potato sticks are gone. Fighting can make a guy hungry. But I still need more.
"Since you ruined the bacon by assaulting my face with it..." Viridi begins.
"Sorry," I say sheepishly.
"...We're gonna have to eat the pasta. All right?"
I close my eyes and nod. She piles the green noodles onto my plate. I stick my fork in, open my mouth, chew and swallow.
"Hey! It's not bad!" I exclaim. "It tastes good. I like it!"
Viridi smiles and gets out of her chair. She runs over to me and gives me a huge smooch on the cheek. I hug her tightly before she sits back down.
A mere twenty minutes go by and we've demolished both the pesto, the souffle, and the last lemon popsicle. Too soon it's time for my girlfriend to go back to her own temple.
We stand outside, just looking at one another, smiling. She motions for me to come closer and when I do, she throws her arms around my neck and plants one on me. It's not nearly as intense as the one we shared earlier, but there's a heat to it that- jeez, do I have to give you people every detail of my life? It is a kiss. A sweet, caring kiss.
"Next time," Viridi laughs, "let's eat at a restaurant, OK?"
Cheers to the cutest couple ever!
Wait, you want more Pit x Viridi fanfics? You don't even have to ask! The third installment in the 5- part Second Series (as I call it) will be coming out soonish. Until then: bingle bongle dingle dangle yikkity doo yikkity daa ping pong lippy tappy too taa. ;-)