Author's Notes: Written for the 3H level of Lady Phoenix Fire Rose's One Hour Challenge on the HPFC forum.
Title- In the Dead of Night
Quote- "I'm so terribly confused."
Warning: Contains quite graphic smut of a Sapphic nature, plus infidelity, masturbation, oral sex, Lily's musings on sexuality… all that fun stuff.
"I'm going to be going out tonight, Lily," James told her over their very, very late dinner. "I hope that you don't mind – I can tell them I won't be there if you do," he added quickly.
"Oh, of course I don't mind." Lily reached for a bowl of peas and spooned some onto her plate, smiling brightly. "Where will you be going? Is it something to do with the…" She dropped her voice to a whisper, looking at him seriously. "The Order?"
"Oh, no, nothing like that…" He shook his head, smiling "Sirius and Remus and Peter and I thought we'd just spend a night together, relaxing, you know? Frank Longbottom's going to be there too," he added, almost as an afterthought.
Lily took care to keep her expression brightly impassive, though her heart had done a little somersault at that last comment. "That sounds lovely. And you'll be out all night?"
"Yes." He nodded. "At Remus's flat in London. We'll just talk and have a few drinks, nothing much."
Lily stood up and began to clear the dishes. "Well, I hope you have a good time there. Be sure to tell them hello from me, won't you?" Especially Sirius, one little voice in her head put in, but she did not say it, though her lips twitched a little. Ah, James, would you still want to spend an evening drinking with Sirius if you knew about him and me?
"I'll be sure too. And you'll be all right here on your own?"
"Of course I will," she said, dumping the last of the peas into the rubbish bin and wiping off her hands, stacking the dishes in the sink to wash and put away later. "I can take care of myself, as you very well know," she teased.
"I do know that very well," he smiled back, standing up. "I think I'll go now, then…"
"Have a good time with your friends, darling," Lily told him, kissing him lightly on the cheek. She felt just like the most perfect housewife in the universe – bidding her husband to have a good time while he went out and left her on her own. In other circumstances, this might have bred in her bitter suspicion about what he might do when he was without her, and whether there were ever women about when he gathered with Remus and Sirius and Peter and Frank, but such suspicions did not take hold in Lily.
In fact, it might be nice for there to be women at the gatherings. She would give them her blessing if they tried to get in bed with James. She would give them her blessing doubly if they succeeded.
"Don't expect me back, all right, darling?" James said, kissing her forehead as he pulled on his travelling cloak. "I think I'll go to work tomorrow morning from Sirius's house – it's much closer, and I could walk with Frank."
"All right," Lily said brightly. She dusted off the shoulders of his cloak and smoothed his hair automatically – it had become a part of their routine whenever he left the house without her. "Do have a good time."
"I will darling. I love you."
"I love you too," Lily said sweetly, and then James stepped outside and disapparated, and Lily was left quite pleasantly alone.
She took a moment to enjoy the silent house. It was relaxing, not having her husband around, for as charming a man as he could be, sometimes he still acted the part of the stupid teenage boy that she remembered, and though she thought on this behaviour rather more fondly now than she had when she was fifteen, that didn't mean that she enjoyed it.
But her sense of solitude was short lived. Because she would be having company of her own that night, and while she rather doubted that James got up to anything that could amount to infidelity while he was out, she was most certainly going to.
For years now, Alice and Lily had been closer than just the best friends they had been assumed to be. Even in school, when people thought that they had been the perfect examples of wholesome teenage girls getting along, there had been something a little more to their relationship than just friendship.
That something more was lust.
Things were bound to happen when two girls who were close enough friends shared a dormitory – especially when they were the sort of girls (as Alice and Lily were) who could put up silencing spells around a bed. Through the first five years of school, they had often slept in the same bed – quite innocently, they insisted to themselves, each other, and anyone who questioned it. They stayed up late giggling or playing stupid Muggle games like truth or dare, questioning each other about which boys they fancied and what their bra size was and other such innocent, if vaguely sexual things. In sixth year, after Lily had suffered a very painful falling out with Severus Snape – something she didn't like to think about – Alice had held her in their bed and given her a small kiss to cheer her up.
One thing had led to another, and faster than they had expected.
They had giggled about it afterwards, blushing, half embarrassed and half proud of themselves. They had talked it over and decided that it didn't mean that they didn't fancy boys – just that they were doing what adults liked to call "experimenting", and they would probably grow out of it soon.
The matter of still fancying boys had turned out to be quite true – both of them had had and enjoyed boyfriend after boyfriend, and they were both married now – and both had male lovers – but there was something quite different from men that the girls could give to each other.
If Lily was quite honest with herself, she didn't really think of what she and Alice did as sex, not in the same way as what she did with James or with Sirius was.
She had long since come up with an explanation of this – perhaps it was only rationalization for infidelity, but it did make sense to her, and that was really all that mattered. Sex between a man and a woman – what she had with James and Sirius and what Alice had with Frank and Lucius – was sex born of lust. That didn't, to Lily's mind, make it inferior, per se, to what she did with Alice, but it was different. When you got right down to it, sex between a man and a woman was really a very elaborate way of encouraging humans to reproduce, and while that was all well and good, it did make the whole thing a touch… animalistic.
Sex between two women, however – well, that couldn't be from a drive to reproduce. Lily had given it a great deal of thought, and decided that the reason that what she and Alice did felt so different from what she and James or she and Sirius did was that, instead of being driven by that urge, with Alice, sex was more an expression of what a psychologist might call "emotional intimacy" – the next logical step in a relationship that was not driven by a will to reproduce, but that had grown past the boundaries of other, "ordinary" friendships.
Lily had made her way to the couch in the parlour and was thinking this over (and perhaps, she was not unwilling to admit, rationalizing to herself why sleeping with Alice didn't 'count' as being unfaithful, though she did not quite believe that herself), and sitting in her parlour, staring at the black night sky outside, when there was a knock upon the door.
A smile split immediately across Lily's face. James was out, and had told her that he would be all night, so who else could be visiting at this hour – nearly midnight – but Alice herself. Lily jumped to her feet and practically danced to the door, opening it to reveal her small, wiry friend, who was wearing a large and cheerful – if slightly devious – grin.
"Come in, come in," Lily told Alice, matching her grin and ushering her inside. "James is out for the night…"
"I thought he might be," she said, nodding rather solemnly, then her lips remained in her wide, wicked smile, and her arms wrapped about Lily's waist. "Frank is as well. I thought we'd both be terribly lonely if we didn't have ach others' company…"
"Quite so…" Lily could already feel a slight pulsing between her legs as Alice pressed against her. "Perhaps we should go up to my bedroom…?"
Alice nodded, and the two women started up the stairs swiftly, undaunted by the darkness. They were used to it. Their trysts had always been hidden in the dead of night, where neither their husbands, nor their other, male lovers could see them.
Lily stepped into her bedroom and immediately set to unbuttoning Alice's blouse, casting it off and tossing it to the floor. Her bra followed, and Lily bent to lay a light, fluttering kiss on each of her small, firm breasts.
"I've been thinking about you…" Alice told her, pushing Lily against the wall and kissing her passionately. Her hands moved over Lily's torso, stroking the curve of her waist and hips through her blouse.
Lily's eyes fluttered shut, and she moaned quietly in a general sort of agreement, focussed more on the sensations than what she was saying.
Alice tugged on a lock of Lily's hair – perhaps by accident as she ran her fingers through it, or perhaps on purpose to get her attention. Either way, Lily's eyes flicked open, and she winced when she caught sight of the framed photograph of herself and James on her nightstand. A small twinge of guilt stirred in her belly, just below her navel.
"Something wrong?" Alice murmured.
"Hmm? No… not really… just… do you ever worry that our husbands are going to find out?" Lily whispered, even as she kissed Alice deeply, knotting her fingers in her short, dark hair.
"Aren't you worried that your husband is going to find out about Sirius? Shouldn't that concern you more?" Alice shot back, smirking slightly. "If James is too thick to realize that you're sleeping with his best friend, he isn't ever going to suspect you and I."
"And Frank? Is he that thick too, or have you got him under a charm?" Lily asked, pulling back away from the kiss. She raised one eyebrow a little.
"Same thing." Alice shrugged carelessly. "He hasn't noticed that I've been spending a lot of time working late at the Ministry recently… and by 'working at the Ministry', you know I mean 'slipping off to Malfoy Manor'… I doubt that he's going to work out anything about you and me."
Lily laughed. "I suppose we are blessed to have such stupid husbands, aren't we?"
"Very much so…" Alice pressed Lily gently against the wall once more, and her hands moved to the hem of her shirt, slowly sliding up it to touch her smooth, round belly. "Imagine how difficult life would be if they noticed what we were doing…"
"On the other hand…" Lily's breath was slightly laboured now, feeling Alice's light fingers on her skin, but she did want to say this, "perhaps if they were clever enough to notice that we were unfaithful to them, we wouldn't need to be unfaithful. If James were as interesting as you or Sirius…"
"You are so cynical sometimes, Lily," Alice laughed. "I don't suppose you believe in true love or anything like that? It's all about who's the most 'interesting'?"
"Of course. True love is silly, I've told you that before. I'm not sleeping with Sirius because I'm any more 'in love' with him than I am with James… you're not more in love with Lucius than you are with Frank, are you?"
"I most certainly am," said Alice, with all the dignity that she could muster, pulling her hands off Lily's waist and planting them on her own hips, looking rather insulted.
"Oh, please. Lucius is just better in bed. Just like Sirius."
"Cynical and crude," Alice said, rolling her eyes. "I ought to be used to this by now, you know, but really, Lily… and what about you and I? Where does your theory of love not existing leave us? I would be very insulted if you told me that you didn't love me any more than you loved James," she added, half joking, but with a not of seriousness in her tone.
Lily fell silent, and looked away a little. "It's not the same thing. You're a woman."
Alice raised an eyebrow, and spoke with a voice dripping in sarcasm. "Pardon me, I'm so terribly confused now. Does the fact that I'm a woman change something?"
"Yes." Lily looked as though she very much wanted to say something more, but didn't, and shook her head, rubbing her forehead. "I've explained this to you before, more than once. I… yes, it's different. Don't you think it's different being with a woman than being with a man? Doesn't it feel different to you? Or is that just me?" she added, both bitter and uncertain.
Alice fell silent, biting on her lip and appearing to ponder it quite seriously. She turned away and crossed the room, sitting down on Lily's bed and playing with the lace cover on the pillow, clearly just to give her something to focus on while she pondered her answer. Finally, she spoke.
"It does feel different," she said slowly. "More… natural, you know? Not as forced? But I think that's because I'm more in love with you than I am with either Frank or Lucius, because everything feels less natural with Frank than it does with Lucius too…"
"I haven't the first clue what you're on about, Alice," Lily said, forcing a small laugh.
"Don't tell me that." Alice rolled her eyes. "You know exactly what I mean, and I expect you probably feel the same way, but you're just too proud to admit it, aren't you?"
Lily frowned. The whole idea of love was one that she had decided to disregard a long time ago, along with Father Christmas and the tooth fairy – possible in some ways, but nonexistent nonetheless. It was just a nice, clever excuse for why things sometimes happened a certain way, she had thought. She didn't like the idea of love – it was messy and complicated, and she far preferred her method of judging relationships – in two parts; friendship and lust. The closest thing to love in Lily's world was a nice balance of those two. It seemed to her a simpler explanation than the complex, amorphous idea of love that so many people seemed to have.
"I should probably go," Alice said, sighing. "I'm exhausted at the moment, really… we'll have to get together some other time to continue this conversation."
"It's a pity we don't have a chance for a bit of a fuck, but I think I'd fall asleep in the middle of it…"
"You don't have to have an excuse, you know," Lily said, a bit more sharply than she had intended. "Maybe Lucius requires those, but you know I don't. If you don't want to sleep with me, I'm certainly not going to make you."
"But I do–"
"I'm tired too," Lily said shortly. "Good night. I suppose I'll probably see you tomorrow."
Alice sighed, then picked up her shirt and bra from the floor, where they had been discarded. "Yes, I suppose… I'll come by tomorrow night, all right? We can continue then."
"Yes, that sounds nice." Lily didn't bother trying to sound sincere in the slightest. She didn't even say goodbye as Alice pulled on her bra and blouse and left.
Damnit, but she was worked up now. She squirmed a little in frustration. Why had they had to get into an argument over philosophy? It would have been much better if they had just set conversation aside…
Now there you have it, she thought, pulling off her shirt and skirt and lying down in just her knickers, that was a perfect example of the "friendship" side of her relationship with Alice taking over from the "lust" side when it really shouldn't have. There needed to be a balance…
She pulled off her knickers too – they were surprisingly damp; she hadn't even realized the state that Alice had worked her into. This only intensified her frustration, with Alice, with herself, and with life in general for orchestrating these circumstances. They should have stopped talking the second the word "cynical" left Alice's mouth and gotten straight on to the sex… now Lily was going to be a mess…
She sighed, pinching her nipples lightly between her fingers and shutting her eyes so that she could imagine it was Alice doing it. She felt a pulse go through her lower body, and squeezed her thighs together.
"Alice…" she moaned, reaching down with one hand and feeling thick liquid dripping from her slit. She spread her legs wide apart and rubbed her clit gently, imagining that it was Alice's hand upon her, touching her in just the right way… Alice always knew what Lily liked…
"Oh…" Her back arched, her hips leaving the bed. Oh, Alice's hand would have felt so good… she had always known just how Lily liked to be touched, even better than she herself did. Her other hand left her breast, probing for her opening while she rubbed her clit hard. Two fingers slid easily into her, and she squirmed a little, curling them up inside herself as she swiftly disappeared into a warm and pleasant fantasy.
It was a familiar one, and Lily had gone through it so many times that sometimes she wondered whether it had actually happened at one point and she was remembering it, instead of just making the whole thing up. It might have been a memory, really – a memory of back when she and Alice had been in school together that she had now gone through so many times and embellished in so many tiny ways that it became fantasy, more than reality…
They were in the Gryffindor girl's dormitory, back at Hogwarts, and Alice was spread-eagled on Lily's bed, wearing her uniform. There wasn't anyone else there, and the curtains were open, unlike how they had usually needed to be. One hand was tangled in her own hair, wiping beads of sweat off of her forehead, and her wiry legs were spread wide apart, and she was squirming while she rubbed herself hard through her knickers.
Lily groaned and rubbed her whole palm up and down her slit like Alice was doing in her imagination, clutching at her own sweaty red curls with her free hand, feeling little thrills as she pulled on them. Oh, fuck, that feels good…
Alice looked up, untangling her fingers from her hair, and gave Lily a saucy little smile before she pulled off her underwear. A few drops of liquid dripped down her lips onto the bed, and she moaned, then rolled over onto her hands and knees and grabbed one of her pillows. She put it in between her legs, then lifted herself up, bracing herself on the bedposts, and bounced up and down, grinding it hard against her slit. There was a wet stain spreading on the fabric from all the juices leaking from her, but she didn't stop, didn't even slow down, didn't care if she ruined the damned pillow…
Lily groped around for a pillow and shoved it between her legs, grinding her lips against the fabric. It was rough – damn the lace that James thought I would like – and chafed a little, but it felt good – not least because she was thinking of Alice, her darling Alice, doing the same thing. Her breath came in short pants.
She was taking her shirt off now, with hurried fingers that could hardly get the little buttons undone. She struggled, then yanked it off over her head and threw it aside. No bra – Alice had always been small, (even now her breasts were barely the size of apples) and she was very nearly completely flat – and she rubbed her hands up and down her chest, tugging on her nipples as she rode the pillow like a rider would a horse.
Lily's breasts heaved in responding excitement. They were so different from Alice's that she couldn't even comprehend what it might feel like to be inside Alice's body and not have great, bouncing weights attached to her front. She moved her hands up to them again, cupping and squeezing and pinching her erect nipples, and oh, God, what she wouldn't give to have Alice here, have Alice being the one with her hands on her tits, because touching herself right now felt so good, so good it hurt, so good that she wanted to share it with the girl she cared about more than any other…
She fell back and kicked the pillow away again, tugging on her nipples with one hand and rubbing her clit hard with the other. She felt her body clench, and then she was in a state of joyful, merciful oblivion, where the Alice from her fantasy was the only other person in the world. Her body was still trembling and arching lightly when she heard a quiet, almost smirking voice.
"That was quite a show, darling…"
Lily's eyes snapped open and she sat up, automatically snapping her legs together and covering her chest as her head turned to the doorway, a blush flooding her cheeks. Alice was lounging there, leaning against the door frame, with a self-satisfied little smirk and one hand moving at a slow and leisurely pace between her legs.
"Alice…" Lily whined, her cheeks going crimson. "You weren't supposed to see –"
"God's sakes, why not? It's not like I've never seen you come before…" Alice yanked down her skirt and kickers and stepped out of them, then strode over to her friend and straddled her, pushing her down on the bed. Lily's heart was still pounding, and Alice's hands on her breasts were not helping to calm her down.
"It's different," she barely managed to say before Alice's lips came crashing down over hers. She moaned, arching her back, then pulled away a little, turning her head to the side so that Alice couldn't kiss her. "I thought you were going… thought you were tired…"
"Oh, Merlin, no," Alice smirked. "You didn't think I'd leave you in a state like that, did you? You didn't think I'd go without sleeping with you? No, I just thought it would be better for us to take a bit of a break so you'd shut up about what love is…"
"You were the one who started talking about–"
Alice grabbed the sides of her head and kissed her again, effectively silencing her. She tugged on her breasts, and Lily's hands moved up and down her back, then down her toned, sinewy thighs, then up between them to her warm, wet opening, feeling a drop of liquid trickle down her wrist.
"Hmmm…" Alice gave a small moan, then sat back on her heels, looking down at Lily with a saucy smile. "You know, darling, you looked absolutely delicious riding that pillow…"
"Did I?" Lily blushed, more than a touch embarrassed that she had been caught. She hadn't ever done anything like that before, and certainly not in front of anyone else. There was a world of difference between Alice making love to her and seeing her pleasure from that and Alice watching her while she touched herself…
"Oh, yes, mm… very hot…" whispered Alice. "But… you know…" She lowered her voice to a mock-dramatic tone, batting here eyelids a little, enough to make Lily giggle, "I think you'd look much better riding me."
"You sound so much like Sirius sometimes," Lily laughed, but she sat up and pushed Alice down, flat onto her back on the bed, then positioned herself over her, rubbing her slit up and down against her leg, just below her hip.
"Mm… I should be insulted by being compared to him of all people," whispered Alice, "but somehow… I'm not."
"You shouldn't be at all insulted," Lily purred. "It's a compliment… you remind me of the qualities that I like about him."
"You mean being wildly attractive and good in bed?"
"I was thinking 'witty'," Lily smirked, "but… those work too."
"Mmm…" Words seemed to escape Alice as she bucked against Lily's thigh, which was in between her legs now, her knee pressing against her slit. Lily let out a small, girlish giggle, and then slowly slipped a finger into Alice's wet body, twisting and curling it up teasingly.
"Naughty…" Lily teased, leaning down and biting Alice's lip, then lifting her head and pouting sweetly, doing her best impression of the scandalized expressions that Narcissa Black had commonly worn when they were in school. "Don't you know that you shouldn't say words like that? It might offend my delicate, ladylike sensibilities, you know…"
"Oh, don't you talk about delicate, ladylike sensibilities when you have a finger in my cunt," she told her, her voice turning into a low, sensual snarl that sent a delicious shiver up her spine. "You're the naughty one, not me…"
"So childish," Lily sang sweetly, sitting up and pulling her finger out of her, sucking on it lightly while she ground her crotch against her stomach. Alice let out a frustrated moan. Beads of sweat poured down her face, catching the moonlight and glittering like tiny pearls.
"Come here!" she ordered.
Lily didn't even have time to respond before Alice had, with considerable strength, flipped her over onto the bed. Lily giggled again, biting innocently on her lower lip and toying lightly with her nipples, raising an eyebrow almost challengingly at her.
"Planning on doing something to me?" she purred softly.
"I most certainly am…"
Alice dragged her fingers slowly down Lily's front, over her breasts and stomach, scratching her just lightly enough to feel it; not hard enough to hurt, then bent down and licked lightly at her slick folds. Her tongue just touched the skin, so gently that it was almost unnoticeable, but Lily's legs sprung wide open almost automatically, and Alice immediately buried her face between them, rubbing her nose against Lily's swollen clit as she sucked up her juices and dragged her tongue up and down her lips.
Lily moaned, biting her tongue and touching her breasts, pinching the nipples hard to relive some of the pressure building up in them and between her thighs, and then Alice had spun herself around and straddled her and Lily found herself staring straight up at her cunt.
"Lick it," Alice told her in a firm voice that very clearly said that she was not to be argued with, momentarily lifting her face out from between Lily's legs to give the command. Lily needed no further encouragement – her tongue shot out and pushed into her opening, feeling it clench tightly about her. Juices – that familiar mix of sweet and salty at once that was Alice – dripped down onto her face, and Alice moaned, sending vibrations right back to Lily, who gasped softly in response. She put her hands on Alice's backside, pressing her down, even closer against her mouth.
"You taste good…" she moaned, though her voice was muffled and it was nothing she hadn't told her before. Alice's only response was to grind harder against Lily's face and shove two fingers into her.
Still on edge from her last orgasm, and driven near mad with her friend's scent and the feel of her wet body pressed against her face, Lily let out a quiet cry, but it was drowned out by Alice's much louder shriek, which was accompanied by a jet of warm liquid splashing into Lily's face. She was clenching so tightly that Lily could no longer fit her tongue in, writhing, and all but screaming into her cunt, which made Lily mad with want.
"Mm- mm! Mm… mm, mm!"
Lily couldn't have held back for a second more if she had wanted to. She thrust her hips up hard, cried out against Alice, and then she had disappeared into that glorious sea of oblivion all over again.
When she regained her senses, Alice had turned around and flopped next to her, limbs all entangled in hers. Her face was shining in the moonlight from Lily's juices, and a rush of happiness went through Lily. She put her arms around her and squeezed, embracing her tightly.
"That was so good," Alice whispered, her eyes closed and a smile on her face. "So… so good…"
"Mmm…" That was good didn't seem to sum it up. Even though they had made love before, Lily didn't think she had ever felt quite this way. Perhaps it was the discussion of the philosophy of love that was still on her mind, or maybe the sex had just been much, much better than usual (though she didn't really think that was the case), but she felt an overwhelming sense of just wanting to curl up in Alice's arms and melt into her and never let her go.
"Alice?" she whispered.
"You know how- we were talking about love?"
"Mmm hmm…" Alice's eyes opened sleepily and she smiled. "I remember. But I haven't got the energy to continue a philosophical discussion at the moment, Lily, so if you've thought up a new argument, it's just going to have to wait…"
"It isn't that."
She rubbed her eyes lightly, and propped her head up on one hand. "What is it, then?"
"I… I think…" Lily cleared her throat softly. "I think if I loved anyone, it would be you."