Brief warning: there's nothing too offensive in here, content-wise. however there is a great deal of swearing. not enough to justify an M rating, but enough to make me rate it T.
Jet's worrisome obsession.
Now that I know that Lee and the old man are firebenders- I can't think on anything else.
Smellerbee was gentle with me when I originally told her and Longshot about what happened. I had gone over to ask Lee to join our group and he said no. But now I didn't want him in our group anyway – because he was a firebender! Smellerbee said she knew I was upset about Lee rejecting me – but it was for the best. That was nice, but then she went on and on about it. She was acting like I had asked him out on a date and he had said no – not that I had just told her he was a firebender!
So there is one person in the world who doesn't fancy me and didn't just do what I said when I made eyes at him. That is fine! I can live with that. What I cannot live with is that this person is a bloody firebender – off to go do nefarious firebend-y things in Ba Sing Se.
Smellerbee seemed unfazed by Lee's firebender-y-ness and was still more disgruntled that he had given me the brush off and said things like as if he can do any better than you! I tried to correct her many times, this issue is not that he doesn't fancy me. Hell, everybody fancies me! Even I fancy me. I am exceptionally fancy-able! I couldn't give too craps that he doesn't want to be my (boy)friend.
Smellerbee looked confused when I said this and she pointed out that I had spent the entirety of the ferry ride obsessed with Lee. Smellerbee said it was like I took one look at him and went Wow, he has swords-I have swords. He has a bad attitude- I have a bad attitude – we should be friends! and I had done what Smellerbee describes as the "Jet equivalent of following him around saying be my friend!" Longshot gave me a look that said you did spent a great deal of time checking out his arse in the queue and it's only natural for Smellerbee and I to assumed…..
To prove to Smellerbee and Longshot how wrong their assumption was, I stomped right over to Lee again and gave him a shove and said Just so you know! I don't fancy you at all! Lee was too surprised to shove me back and just looked at me like I was the weirdest person in the whole world and turned the Fat Old Man. The Fat Old Man shrugged and looked really confused. Lee looked back at me and shrugged and said "good to know." Which was not the reaction I was expecting. But still -I feel I've made my point.
We have all been processed and Lee and the Old Fat Man were assigned the same refugee district as the three of us. We're all going to District 27. All the new refugees are crowded into districts 25- 30. Apparently districts 25, 26, 28, 29 and 30 are equally as crowded as ours, but I find that hard to believe. There are more people here than I have ever seen in my life!
We all must wait in district 27 for further processing – before we can be allowed to move freely through the city. Smellerbee is disheartened, because she was talking to some other people at the shelter and apparently people have been waiting for processing for up to twenty years!
I hate the shelter. It's full of really depressing people.
I hate Lee and his Uncle more though.
They won't have to live at the shelter after tonight. The Fat Old Man has already found them an apartment (through his -probably evil- contacts.) I'm sure these must be evil firebending contacts. Why -for all we know, Lee and the Old Fat Man are part of an elaborate firenation spy ring! Smellerbee thinks I am over-reacting and my spy ring theory is a bit far fetched. Longshot also is looking at me as if he is saying dude, you just saw a guy with a tea – let it go.
But I can't let it go.
All I need is proof! Then they will believe me.
I am going to keep track of Lee and the Fat Old Man. I followed Lee and the Fat Old Man to their new apartment this morning. The Fat Old Man bought a big vase of flowers for when he entertains 'lady friends'. The Fat Old Man, has in fact, already made a 'Lady Friend' out of the florist. They flirted and tittered and the Fat Old Man said many cheesy/dirty things like she was a beautiful blossom and he would love to touch her petals. Lee made a comically disgusted face throughout the entire flowery-buying thing.
The apartment is a shitty tiny apartment in the tenements just off the Market. It will be noisy and crowded. I don't feel so bad about living in the shelter now. I still miss the forest, but at least I have it better than Lee. He is sharing a tiny apartment with the Fat Old Man.
- and potentially the Fat Old Man's new florist friend.
The Fat Old Man has much get-up-and-go and has already been able to avail Lee and himself some jobs in a teashop. This will make them easier to stalk because now they have a job that they have to go to everyday and an apartment – I will always be able to find one of them.
The simpering Teashop owner made the Fat Old Man and Lee a cup of tea. The Old Man was disgusted and said it tasted like hot leaf soup. Lee read my mind and said Uncle – that's what all tea tastes like. So the Fat Old Man is Lee's uncle. Not his father? Anyway Uncle was appalled that a member of his family does not live for tea as he does. The Uncle has declared the tea undrinkable in its current state and that he and Lee must make some real changes around the shop, before the tea will be fit for human consumption.
I have scoped out likely stalking positions around the shop.
Note : never again will I watch from under the windowsill – due to the Fat Old Man's habit of throwing every nasty thing under the sun out of the window. Eurgh! What is this thick brown stuff! It is something the old man pulled out of the sink – made a disgusted noise at and then flung out the window. Right onto my best shirt.
Uncle hates the tea that the simpering teashop owner makes. Lee hates all tea and cannot taste the difference. The old man is appalled again. He has given Lee a lesson in tea. He made many cups of tea – ones brewed to perfection and ones that "though it pained him" he had brewed incorrectly – so that Lee could taste the difference.
Lee claimed he could, but I doubt this.
Scoped out a good position on the roof of the tenement opposite Lee's. I can see right into their apartment from it. Watched them this morning. Lee claimed that he didn't want to go work in a smelly teashop again. The Old Man tried many different ways to get him out of bed. The thing that succeeded was something called the hedgehog song. The old man said Fine, I am going to sing the hedgehog song, and you have until I get to the final chorus to be ready. Lee tumbled out of bed at lightning speed, pulled on the nearest shirt and said he was ready.
What is this hedgehog song – I know three songs about hedgehogs, but they are all very rude and I cannot imagine the Fat Old Man singing any of them.
Actually, on second thoughts – I can imagine him singing all of them.
This morning Smellerbee gave me the 'enough fun and games – it's time to get your shit together' speech. They were going out looking for jobs, so that they could earn money and we could get an apartment and move out of the shelter. They wanted me to come with them. I said I'd pass. I had a firebender to stalk.
Longshot and Smellerbee gave each other a look. Then Smellerbee said that they think that stalking Lee is silly and a job would be much more productive use of my time. furthermore, my notion that they are firebenders is ill-founded and ridiculous. I was guilted into job hunting.
I went with Smellerbee and Longshot to the market, with the best intentions. I really intended to look for a job. But I saw Lee – so I stalked him instead. It was much more interesting.
Look -the universe is obviously telling me to stalk him, if I keep running into him.
Lee knows I am stalking him. I don't know how he knows, but he does. Maybe he saw me. Either way, he confronted me this afternoon.
He went down an alley and, naturally, I followed. I would have only gone into the alley two seconds after Lee, but when I looked in there the alley was empty. I heard a slight noise and I looked up. Just at the second, Lee swung down from a bar that was on the third story – how did he get up there so quickly? It surprised the crap out of me, to be quite honest.
He caught me off guard. He collided with me, with his feet first into my chest. I was winded and on the ground and that's the only reason why he got the upper-hand. He picked me up and he tackled me against the wall and asked me why I was following him.
I was so impressed by the athletic display that I was momentarily silenced. Lee got frustrated and shouted at me to answer him! I told him I wasn't following him and it was a free city. I could do what I wanted. Lee said the strangest thing. He said it's not a free city, Jet. Don't make the mistake of thinking it is. He dropped me and walked away.
Back at the shelter. I spent a long time explaining to Smellerbee and Longshot about the whole thing in the alley with Lee and how badass it was that he climbed up to the third floor in under two seconds and how enigmatic he is. It's not a free city? What does that even mean? I told them that I will have to be more careful with my stalking in the future because Lee is so wily and badass and athletic and enigmatic.
They were not as impressed as I was.
And they kept giving me worried looks.
Followed Lee around the market again today. He tried to evade me but there is no such luck. He confronted me again. He was collecting stuff for the teashop. He was less threatening with his arms full of groceries than he was when he had me pushed up against the wall the other night.
Lee asked why I was even following him again. I denied it I was following him. He told me to please just go away in a very posh and very fed up voice. Then he walked a little forward and I followed. He turned around and went A HA! You are following me!
I denied it again. He said I couldn't deny it when he had just caught me red handed – or red footed -or whatever. I was literally just following him. I said whatever, it's a free city. I could follow him if I liked. Lee gave me an odd look and said that it was a bit creepy – the following him, and he would appreciate it if I stopped.
I kicked him in the shin and ran away instead.
Went to the apartment to wait for Lee and the Fat Old Man to get home. When they returned the Old Man looked a little sheepish and said eer nephew, it is five o'clock. You know what happens at five o'clock. Lee rolled his eyes and said oh for fuck's sake and promptly left.
The Old Man waited five minutes and then took off all his clothes and wandered around the apartment naked.
For no reason.
He was just naked naked naked.
He drank tea naked, he read a book naked. He made some more tea naked. I wish I did not know this, but I looked up a few times and the nudity continued unabated. The sight has been indelibly burned into my brain!
After about an hour of nudity, Old Man put all his clothes back on. Half an hour later there was a knock on the door. It was Lee. He asked through the door if Uncle was 'decent' and if his Uncle was finished with his naked time. Old Man said he was.
Apparently the dirty old man needs some 'naked time' every few days at five o'clock.
Next time the old man says it is five o'clock in that tone of voice, I am following Lee!
Old Man has a rather alarming looking burn scar on his shoulder. I saw it during the naked time. While Lee was gone, he had got a bunch of stuff for it. He chopped it all up and made a paste. Old Man frequently offered 'suggestions'. They had a small argument because apparently Lee was crushing some grass wrong or whatever – Lee didn't think he was doing it wrong. A squabble ensued. But eventually a paste was made. Lee helped his Uncle put it on his shoulder.
Told Smellerbee and Longshot about the burn scar. The wily old firebender probably got it from fighting another firebender. Smellerbee disagrees. She says the fact that both Lee and his Uncle have burn scars is actually something that disproves my they-are-evil-firebenders theory. So many refugees have burn scars – do I think all of them are firebenders?
She says that my whole theory rests on the fact that I saw the old man with a hot cup of tea and that the two of them had burn scars - surely even I could see how ridiculous my theory was. Longshot just gave me a look here. A look that said you sad sad idiot.
I told them to stop confusing me with their logic.
Have taken to stealing Lee's spark rocks – to hurry along the display of firebending. I'm sure that the Old Man can do it and he is so tea obsessed that he needs to heat water all the friggin time. It wont be long before he shows his real colours.
That night the Old Man wanted tea, as per usual. Lee did not, as per usual. He says that after working in a teashop all day – the very last thing he wants is more tea. He said this very bitchily. The old man said that he probably just needed a calming tea. Lee said I don't need any calming tea!
There was a slight fuss over Lee's mood and which tea would cure it. Eventually Lee said fuck it – give me some calming tea. Evidently the only thing that will stop Old Man from suggestion calming tea is if Lee agrees to drink calming tea. But when it came time to make tea - The uncle discovered that there were no spark rocks, he did not do what I had expected. Eg firebend.
The old man borrowed the spark rocks from their neighbor. I am confused.
Lee bought more spark rocks at the market today. To replace the ones I pinched. We had another confrontation and he told me to fuck off and leave him alone rather creatively. Lee is getting much more creative with the swearing the longer he is in Ba Sing Se.
Did not watch to see if the Uncle firebent tonight. Alarming event happened which discourages me from stalking as usual. The old man came in and announced it was five o'clock and Lee made a disgusted face and made himself scarce again. I followed Lee.
He just wandered round the city and didn't do anything interesting. But when he got back home, he was accosted by several neighbours who all had the same request. Could he please tell the nasty old man to put some clothes on! Everybody could see!
Have just witnessed a hilariously awkward will you just put your clothes on! conversation. Stalking Lee is worth it just to see shit like this.
Lee exhausted every polite euphemism for 'naked' in the entire universe. People did not wish to see his Uncle unclothed, without garments, in his birthday suit etc. People especially didn't want to see Uncle's twig and giggleberries bouncing about while Uncle did the dance of the bare-arsed man. They were in a heavily populated area and many people could see into the flat. All of those people and Lee would appreciate it if Uncle could refrain from nudity in the future.
Uncle has elected to think on this proposal.
Have now stolen the spark rocks again. I took extra precautions and also took them from neighbours on both sides of Lee's apartment. Just in case. Someone in this tenement is going to have to do some firebending now!
Uncle is most perplexed that the spark rocks have gone again. Lee said he would go to the market and get some more. The Old Man went to inquire with the neighbours and found that they both were missing their spark rocks as well.
It was show time!
But right at that instant, I heard a coughing noise behind me.
As silent as a shadow, he had crept up behind me on the roof. He was right behind me and had slipped his hand into my pocket (I didn't even feel it) and pinched the spark rocks.
That wily, sticky fingered pickpocket!
I always knew he'd make a good thief. I knew I couldn't trust Lee as far I could throw him.
He said cockily, that he would like his spark rocks back. And bounced off all pleased with himself.
I have decided to abandon the spark rock pinching plan. Lee gave his Uncle the spark rocks. Uncle went to give these back to the neighbours. When he was gone Lee gave me the Vs through the window.
I will have to scout out another stalking location now!
Told Smellerbee and Longshot about the spark rock episode and how Lee put his hand in my pocket and I didn't even feel it! It was kind of awesome. Even though Lee is not at all awesome because he is living is a stinking, dirty, naked firebender.
But that whole hand in the pocket thing was pretty badass.
Smellerbee and Longshot were not as impressed. They do that thing where they communicate by just looking at each other and then turned to me in unison and said that they were worried about me. I was getting unhealthily obsessed with Lee and his sticky fingers and his hand in my pocket.
I said that if she'd had Lee's hand in her pocket – she would understand!
We had our usual squabble regarding jobs and their desire for me to get one. I said something unkind because they have been looking everyday for ages now and have been unable to find anything and what good will it do for me to waste my time in that fashion.
Especially when the reward that General Fong was offering for finding war criminals would pay our way for the rest of our lives.
When I got proof, we wouldn't even need jobs. We would have to be able to tie up Lee and the Fat Old Man… and I dunno…drag them all the way to Fong's fortress – but then we could collect our reward! I'd still share it with Smellerbee and Longshot despite how unhelpful they've been.
Smellerbee was very unenthusiastic about the idea of dragging the Fat Old Man through the desert to the coast – as he looks very heavy and seems harmless to Smellerbee. She told me to back it up. First I thought that Lee and the Fat Old Man were just firebenders and now I was saying they were war criminals .
All firebenders are war criminals – doesn't Smellerbee know that?
Found new stalking postion. My view into Lee's apartment is obscured a bit, but I can still see what is going on. And I can tell that the kid in the apartment next to Lee's is really sick. The walls are paper thin and I think everyone in the whole tenement block can hear this kid cough and snuffle and wheeze.
The Old Man has made friends with the mother from all the sparkrock borrowing. The mother is at her wits end and the Nasty Dirty Old Man took advantage of that and invited himself over to cook lunch for her and the boy. On his day off, while Lee was at work. so it was just the two of them after wheezy went to sleep.
He made her a large lunch – and she will have enough leftovers for dinner. The woman left some near the window sill. My mouth was watering and it was all I could do not to go and pinch it. But that woman is in a worse spot that we are and I didn't want to steal from her. The Uncle made her many teas and listened to her woes and said that he would try to help her out as best he could. He said patronizingly that this world would be a better place if we all helped each other after all.
Follow Lee around the market again today. We had another confrontation. But I could tell he wasn't into it today. He had big bags under his eyes and seemed really tired. Probably from getting no sleep on account of Sicky Mc-Coughs-a-lot. He just said that I was a sad, strange person and I really needed a new hobby.
Then he said that we should play a game called fuck off now Jet.
I aim to be as terrible at this game as humanly possible. I am not going anywhere until I've got my proof.
The Uncle's shoulder is paining him again. But they have run out of that nasty paste looking thing. The Uncle said that the only thing that would make him feel better is more tea – Lee made him his favourite without:
2) ruining it by pouring the boiling water all over the leaves.
Lee normally ruins tea, but he is learning. This was the first cup he had made that was, according to his Uncle – absolutely perfect.
Lee smiled for the tiniest fraction of a second.
His smile weirds me out.
Finally Lee did something interesting!
Last night, around midnight – I was just getting ready to go home - I saw Lee get up silently. He first checked that the Uncle was asleep and then he sneaked out in that sneaky way he does.
He was all dressed in black and had that the I'm up to something look about him.
Well, he always looks like he is up to something. But he looked especially up to something right now. I followed. He moved swiftly over the rooftops and it was really hard to keep up with him. Good thing I'm still so agile from all the tree climbing I had to do – so I could manage. Up on the highest roof, nearest the wall into the 22nd district – Lee suddenly took a big run up and leapt. He landed well on top of the wall and didn't even break his stride and jumped again from the wall into the 22nd district. I hesitated and then lost my nerve to make the jump. It was just a touch too far.
Lee might be a possible dirty firebender – but he has balls of solid steel. I respect that.
I contented myself with watching him. He didn't go very far – just to the roof of the 22nd district hospital.
Ah – now shit made sense.
He was in and out in under seven minutes. Then he started that whole roof jumping thing he does again and was back home before the old man had even noticed a thing.
Lee gave his Uncle the new paste for his shoulder. It is top quality stuff. (The 22nd is a wealthier district after all). Uncle was instantly suspicious of its origins. Lee was really obviously shady about his night time activities. He is a terrible liar. The old Man said that as a prudent man – he probably didn't want to know where it came from – but he hoped Lee was being careful.
Then Lee surprised the old man and pulled another three jars from the bag. They were all various treatments for the boy next door. The one who coughs through the night. Lee wanted his Uncle to give them to the boy. He thought it would be weird if he did it and Uncle knew the mother.
The Uncle looked at Lee like he was the most adorable little duckling in the pond and tried to give him a big hug. Lee was stiff an awkward about this and told the Uncle not to carry on like a wet hen. He just got it so the kid would stop keeping them all awake.
The Uncle gave the mother the medicine that night – when he came home from work. He invited himself over to dinner again. The boy drank some liquid, had some cream rubbed into his chest and there was an oil that was put into steaming water (No firebending this time either – But the Uncle made a fire for the mother to boil the water over really quickly). The boy felt much better from all the treatments and fell asleep without wheezing for the first time in days.
The mother was overjoyed and made out with the Uncle.
It was gross.
Today had another confrontation with Lee. It was a little different than our normal script. Normally Lee tells me to fuck off and stop following him and I deny that I am following him. Today, Lee turned round an alley. When I followed, he leapt out at me and grabbed me and slammed me against a wall again and tried to punch me in the face.
But he held back when he saw it was me.
He actually said, sounding almost relieved oh it's only you– like he was expecting that he was being stalked by someone worse and I paled in comparison to them.
What the fuck does that mean. I could be Lee's worst nightmare thank-you-very-much. I asked him, disgruntled how many other people do you think are stalking you?
Lee didn't answer my question, but let me go and smirked and started to walk away. He said as he was leaving – at least you've admitted that you're stalking me now. Admittance is the first step to recovery Jet!
I took too long to think of a witty comeback and Lee had left.
Bloody Lee! Thinks he's so bloody clever!
Have ranted about Lee to the point that Smellerbee and Longshot do not want to hear anymore about him and all the witty comeback I would have said to him – had I thought of them at the time. I ranted about Lee and how he thinks he's so clever at length. Then something alarming happened. Smellerbee delicately asked if I was like…crushing on Lee. She said it gently. Like she didn't want to hurt my feelings.
I was aghast! I do not fancy Lee! What the fuck. Smellerbee outlined her (ridiculous, erroneous) point. I hadn't made out with a girl since sexy bossy Katara. I spent every waking minute following Lee, or talking about Lee or obsessing about Lee and it wasn't healthy. Longshot looked at me in a way that pointed out that if I think the Uncle is a firebender I should be concentrating my efforts on him, not Lee.
Longshot also thinks I have a big gay crush on lee.
Did not stalk Lee today. To shut Smellerbee and Longshot up about my imaginary gay crush.
Smeller and Longshot said they were going to "job hunt" again today. As soon as they were gone I went to stalk Lee a bit. Imagine my surprise when Smellerbee and Longshot turned up at Lee's teashop. They lied to me! They were not going job hunting at all.
They were fraternizing with the enemy!
They didn't have any money- but the Fat Old Man gave them some tea on the house. Because they looked like they needed it.
It made me look at them differently – the way the Uncle said that. They were both looking much thinner. True we haven't been eating that well at the refugee centre – but things weren't that bad were they? I mean we aren't charity cases at all! And I resented the old man's insinuation that we were.
Smeller and Longshot enjoyed many cups of free tea until Lee had a break. They wanted to talk to him and went out the back of the shop. I could not overhear and I am most frustrated by this.
Horrifying turn of events!
Stalked Lee in the market again today. Abruptly he stopped and I nearly collided with him. He said we need to talk and then he dragged me into an alley. They say that I am gay for Lee – but he is the one who is always dragging me into alleys and pressing me against walls and leaping out at me from strange, occasionally high places.
We were in the alley but Lee wasn't trying to fight me. He was being weird and awkward. Awkwardly weird. He crossed his arms, uncrossed them, crossed them again and gave a big sigh and looked beseechingly at the sky. He looked really embarrassed even before he started speaking. He cleared his throat and told me that Smellerbee and Longshot had been to see him and that had told him something that made him understand the stalking a bit more.
Where was Lee going with this?
Look Jet, I think you're….a really nice guy? he stated, obviously lying. He said really nice guy like it was a question. I interrupted and said what! No you don't! you hate me. Lee said fine! that was true! but the "letting someone down gently" conversation always starts with something positive, according to Smellerbee.
What was Lee talking about?
He looked really awkward and said fuck it! This is too embarrassing and he reached in his pocket and pulled out some paper. It was a how to let jet down gently guide. Smellerbee had written it for him, if he "got lost" in this conversation.
What The Actual Fuck!
Smellerbee and Longshot have told Lee their ridiculous theory - that I have a big fat gay crush on him. According to Smellerbee, I was angry that he rejected me when I asked him to join my band of merry men. The way Lee said merry men made it sound like the gayest thing ever! Smellerbee explained that I stalked because I still held out hope that Lee would come around and join them, and Lee needed to let me down gently and nicely (not rudely like before) so I could get over it and move on.
Lee has now let me down gently.
He read from the sheet of paper mostly – in the most awkward fashion imaginable. The speech came complete with stammering and yammering and awkward shuffling. I could tell Smellerbee had written all of this. Apparently, I am a nice guy, and Lee was flattered that I saw fit to stalk him everywhere, But Lee was not into guys.
Then I think Lee went off script because he dropped the paper and started rambling that he wasn't saying there was anything wrong with being into guys and the right guy was out there for me somewhere. If I was into guys then that was fine, and maybe I should find another guy who was into guys and we could do whatever two guys do together.
But Lee was not that guy! He was most emphatic about this.
I got most irate and told Lee that I wasn't into guys and just a few months ago I was fucking an unbelievably hot waterbending chick.
Did not actually get that far with Katara – but I would have, given time. Anyway Lee did not need to know any of this – all he needed to know was that I was into hot waterbending girls! Not tall (possible) firebender boys with good posture and posh accents!
Lee made an odd face at me when I mentioned fucking waterbenders. He said really? a little skeptically. What is with the skeptiscim!
It is true!
And he could ask stupid, meddling Smellerbee if he did not believe me. Lee shrugged and said I could hardly blame him for being skeptical when I came off as camper than a row of tents.
What the hell!
Lee said that if I kept going up to boys I had just met and asked them to join my merry men – like I did with Lee on the ferry – then I could hardly be surprised that people started assuming things about me. I said Oh for the fucking last time! I am not gay and even if I was, I wouldn't fancy you – not with your face all messed up with that huge ugly scar!
It was a low blow, I know.
It is, in fact, the meanest thing I think I've ever said to someone's face.
Lee's scar is huge and I reckon he must be self conscious about it. You can't not notice it. People either a)recoil from it and make some comment like What the fuck happened your face? B) stare at it aghast and revolted c) look anywhere but at his face and act really awkward about it. The look Lee gave me right then - a split second expression of hurt – made me feel like I was the meanest person in the world.
Then his face got angry and he gave me a huge shove. Lee got very cross and said that I should bloody well fuck off and why was I even stalking him then? I said I certainly wasn't stalking him for his tight behind and conversation skills! No I was stalking him because he either was a firebender or he was colluding with his Old Fat Uncle of a firebender.
All I needed was some proof and then they'd both be in so much trouble.
Lee told me to go fuck myself and stormed off. I shouted back I already did! It was the first thing that popped into my head. I thought it was a witty comeback, but it's not. Lee turned to give me a derisive look and gave me the Vs and then he was gone.
Had a shout at Smellerbee and Longshot.
What the hell were they thinking, telling Lee that I fancied him. Seriously!
Smellerbee and Longshot sat me down and said that they knew it was very disappointing that Lee did not want to join us and they knew I had been saddened by him rejecting me, but stalking him was no way to get him to change his mind/make a friend.
I do not want to make friends with Lee!
Even if I did, I don't think that would be possible after today.
I have decided to take a break from stalking Lee. Smellerbee and Longshot are pleased by this development. I still want them to keep tabs on Lee – and they are less pleased by this. But they think that my reluctance to stalk him is a good step forward and have acquiesced. Smellerbee is on first shift.
Dear Jet and Jet's stalker Diary.
This is stupid. Just so you know.
So I am sitting in this stupid teashop Jet, watching Lee while he serves tea. I am not going to stand in the rain to watch Lee when I can stalk just as well from in here.
Just told Lee I was stalking him for you and he rolled his eyes. Lee is also pissed off at me about the whole letting you down gently thing – so you are not the only one who's annoyed about that. Lee asked me if you really did it with a waterbending girl. I told him the truth – you hadn't got that far with her and then you guys had fight and she kicked your arse and froze you to a tree and we had to chip you out over several hours.
Really Jet, if Bossy Sexy Katara finds out you're spreading rumors like that about her – she is going to do way more than freeze you to a tree my friend – and I wont be chipping you out this time.
Anyway Lee smirked when I told him you hadn't fucked her and he said I thought as much.
Stalking is boring. Lee has just served tea all morning and I just don't see how you fill your time with this Jet.
Stalking just got more interesting.
This chick with huge boobs came in and has spent the last 15 minutes shamelessly flirting with Lee. But he doesn't seem to understand. She keeps asking him what he's doing after work and he keeps acting shiftier and edging away from miss flirty with her big breasts.
Maybe he is gay!
You're in luck Jet!
So - he's not gay, he's just socially awkward. My mistake. Sorry Jet.
How do you stand this Jet? It's lunch time and if I have to watch one more plate of delciousness go past I will just explode.
The lady next to me got this huge plate of dumplings and I just literally felt my mouth water and spent a great deal of time staring at them.
Man opposite just got noodle soup. Oh I would kill for noodle soup.
Man on other side just go chow mein! I would kiss the dirtiest part of the ground for some chow mein.
Lee came over and said that I had to stop staring people down while they ate and I had to stop staring at their food like I expected it to run away. Apparently I am giving people the creeps. I said that I could do what I want. Lee rolled his eyes and said he could tell I was related to you. I was going to correct him but I figure what's the point.
Lee said that I should just get some lunch- I had the posture of a feral pigmy puma and the staring was losing them business and I hadn't ordered a tea in over an hour and Lee could kick me out if he wanted.
Lee is a bitch!
I told him that if he hadn't eaten a hot meal in two weeks- he'd stare down someone's chow mein too.
Lee flustered off embarrassed after that.
Oh my goodness!
I totally understand the stalking now Jet!
I'm going to stalk Lee every day after this.
He just came back, a bit sheepish, and put the biggest plate of dumplings in front of me and said it was on the house but that had to stay between us. He's given me a free refill and set the table nicely for me – like I'm a posh person.
I totally get why you stalk him now!
Why didn't you say anything about free dumplings!
Lee just came back and cleared away the plate and awkwardly asked me a few questions. Like where were we staying, did any of us have jobs, how we were getting money etc. before you get pissy, he wasn't asking in a judgmental way. He just seemed a little worried.
Longshot has come and joined me with the stalking. He has been unsuccessful in his job hunt and is a bit bummed out.
Oh big breasts just left! After staying for like two hours! – you've got competition on the stalking front Jet!
Lee brought Longshot dumplings as well – because Longshot also has feral posture. Longshot and I have talked about it and we are going to stay here until Lee stops feeding us. Lee would periodically threaten to kick us out – but he never actually did.
We stayed til closing time. Then because we felt like we should say thanks for the free food – we helped Lee close up and do the sweeping.
Before you get your panties in a twist Jet, this is not "colluding with the enemy!" We were just being polite.
Anyway while we were cleaning the Old Man started talking to us. Evidently he and Lee had been talking because he already knew about our job situation.
Uncle offered that the baker who made their dumplings was looking for an apprentice, if I was interested. The baker was a kind man. They pay wasn't fantastic, but fat Uncle was sure he wouldn't mind if I took all the unsold dumplings at the end of the day.
Free dumplings Jet!
Don't be mad – but I said yes. We really need jobs okay and we really need to at least try to make a fresh start.
And those Dumplings are bloody good.
Fat Uncle suggested Pai sho tile making for Longshot. Longshot's arrow fletching skills would be adaptable to making Pai sho tiles and other game pieces. Fat Uncle also knew a game maker who was looking for a little extra help because his sight was failing him. Longshot is amenable to the idea.
So Fat Uncle walked us to his Game-making friend and his Baker friend and now Longshot and I both have jobs!
Anyway – I know you are probably pissed off right now. But just take three deep breaths and really think about this Jet. This is a good thing for us okay! So don't go off the deep end.
You're weird stalking habit came good in the end and now we have jobs.
We can start new lives at last.
So don't be too mad.
Not much rambling because this was just a spot of ridiculousness.
So Jet has bisexual tendencies and Smellerbee and Longshot know this. Watch their Ba Sing Se scenes again thinking this and it makes it all a bit hilarious. Zuko and Uncle must also know that Jet is stalking them – how else do you explain the spark rocks thing? The shameless big breasted flirt that Smellerbee is writing about is Jin. Also Ba Sing Se is divided into districts - radiating from the centre out. "fresh off the boat" refugees are in the very outer ring (districts 25 -30). Uncle Iroh's shoulder is still hurt from when Azula shot him with lightning.
I have planned out more for this – going up to when Jet gets arrested. But I thought I'd post this now, to help tide everybody over until I post the first NSFZ chapter.
Also this will fit in with the stalking universe. Things are going to be...interesting, when Zuko and Jet meet post-war.
Til then lovelies.