"Ah, the start of a new semester!" Zelretch said as he stood next to the window with his arms clasped behind his back, looking down at the students filing in the front door. "They all called me mad when I proposed my plan to resurrect all of the souls in the Throne of Heroes as teenagers and send them through a high school which I'm principle of and film all of their hijinks to make the most profitable television show of all time, but I showed them, didn't I!"
"Yes, you showed them that you're an idiot as well as insane." Vice principle Barthomeloi said flatly from behind him. "The only reason that you're actually doing it is that you both went ahead and did it anyway without approval and then managed to convince the Clock Tower that you could somehow use the power of all the summoned Heroic Spirits to open the path to the Akashic Records."
Zelretch jumped and spun around. "How long have you been standing there?! You know I don't like to be disturbed on the morning of the first day of school."
"I've been here for two minutes, and I don't care." She said, here eyebrow twitching in loathing for the man in front of her. The idiot mad the same pontificating nonsense at the beginning of every semester, and she had enough of it. She held out a portfolio across his desk. "We need to go over these plans for the Holy Grail Ritual for the end of the term as soon as possible."
With a frown, the principle walked back towards her and took the folder. As he leafed through the contents, he said "Ah yes, it seems those fools still think to preform it at graduation. Utterly preposterous!" He threw the files out the window with his declaration.
Trying to suppress the thought of how much she wanted to kill the man, Barthomeloi said "It was you who said that it must be done when the Heroes are at their most emotionally charged. It was agreed-"
"Bah! You people have no sense of teenage drama! I shudder to think what would have happen if I made you lot producers for my magnum opus." The man then did shudder, if only for appearances. "The graduation is clearly the epilogue, not the climax! Besides, not everyone would be gradating, thus it would mean less to most of the people there!"
The woman's eyes narrowed. "And whose fault is that? One would think that you could have summoned all the Heroes involved to be the same age."
Zelretch became indignant. "Hey I don't tell you how to do… uh, whatever is that you do around here-"
"I run the school because you're too incompetent to do so."
"Yeah, that, and you don't tell me how to make a compelling teen dram- I mean, summon every Hero from history at once!" In truth, he has spread out the ages intentionally so that he could fill out all the grades, because who ever heard of a high school with only one grade level? Besides, he had managed to get everyone summoned just fine! Well, except for maybe King Arthur, what with that weird dimensional hiccup thing he had when doing her which spit off two parallel versions of the girl as well, but still!
The vice principle folded her arms across her chest. "Fine. When would you have it then?"
"The big game of course! The championship football match between us and our archrivals, Crimson Moon High School." He looked off to the side his eyes narrowed. "And that jerk of a principle Brunestud…"
"Focus." Barthomeloi said as she snapped her fingers, distracting him from his inane rivalry.
"What? Oh yes. As I was saying, nothing gets those teenage hormones flowing like competition. If we hype it up all year, no doubt they'll be in a frenzy when the time come."
"Interesting, but it's the beginning of the year. How can you know that we'll face off in the championship match?"
Zelretch snorted. "What, are magi just now starting grow a conscience? Just rig the thing, I don't care. Nothing will stop me from reaching prime time- I mean the Root!"
The vice principle gave an exasperated sigh and shook her head. "I will inform the others of this. In the meantime, try not to do anything more stupid than usual." As she turned to walk out, she said "By the way, there was a gift in the mail for you this morning. I left it on your desk."
Zelretch looked at his desk and blinked at the fruit basket that was sitting there, just noticing it for the first time. He saw a card lying on top of it with writing.
Congratulations on another year!
A smile tugged at the old man's lips. It was nice that someone appreciated his skills as a principle. However, as he reached out and pulled the card toward him, a string attached to it pulled taught, and with a sudden click, all of the fruit exploded forth. It was then he learned, due to the rather unfortunate circumstance of the now shredded fruit was hitting his face, that only the surface layer of food was in good shape and the rest was rotten.
Zelretch sputtered and spit as the taste of foul foodstuffs filled his mouth, and he had to wipe away the horrid mess out of his eyes as well. As he did so, he noticed that the card he now held also had writing on the back.
P.S. You smell.
Zelretch fell to his knees, and the card crumpled in his hand as he raised his arms and shouted to the heavens "BRUUUUNESTUUUUUUD!"
Oblivious to their principle's plight, three nearly identical girls walked through the gate and towards the front doors of the school. The three were dressed differently from each other, as their school did not enforce uniforms (they tried to at first, but when a student body that is capable of mass destruction insists otherwise, it's prudent to make some concessions). The first was wearing a simple white button up shirt with a blue skirt, the second was in a more elaborate, black gothic dress, and the third was in a white sundress.
Before they got to the doors, the one in blue stepped in front of the others. "Sisters, before we proceed, it would be wise to go over our goals for this year."
The one in white rolled her eyes. "Arturia, you're overthinking things. Again" The one in black said nothing, instead taking out her phone and taping the screen, putting on an air of disinterest.
"Lily, this is our junior year, one of the most important years of our education. A plan of attack is crucial."
"No it's not! It's high school. You go in, you learn stuff, you hang out with friends. God, why do you have to treat everything like it's a battle that has to be won?"
"She's just still feeling mad that she lost the class president election to Joan of Arc last year." The one in black said flatly, not looking up from her phone.
Arturia scowled at her. "I was clearly the better candidate, Alter! Joan merely won because she turned it into a popularity contest!"
"Well, maybe if you had tried talking to the other students and asking what they wanted rather than simply declaring how you were going to run things all the time…" Lily started.
Arturia huffed. "I don't see how that's relevant. I clearly-"
However, whatever she was going to say was cut off, as a red blur suddenly tackled her from behind and latched onto her torso. "Sisters! I trust that your summer was as magnificent as mine!" It turned out to be another nearly identical blond girl, though this one was a tad shorter, and was wearing a red tank top with a matching red skirt with a cut on the side.
Lily brightened at the sight of the new arrival. "Big sis Nero! How have you been?" Alter merely nodded her head and grunted before returning to her phone.
"I have been spectacular as always. I travel across Europe with a band of wandering actors, pleasing the mass for our daily bread. Though their standards were beneath me at first, of course, by the end we were an unmitigated success. But enough of my triumphs. Do regale me of your own exploits, my younger sisters."
Arturia gritted her teeth at the other girl's supposed familiarity and invasion of her personal space. "Nero, for the last time, just because you look like us does not mean that you are our sister." It was purely a coincidence that they looked alike.
"Yeah, but technically neither are we." Alter remarked dryly as she put away her phone. "Whatever. I'm going to go find Medusa and Semiramis. Later." And without out another word, the girl in black walked away from the group.
This left Arturia looking into the wide, sad eyes of Lily and Nero. "But, why can't she be our sister?" Lily pleaded.
"Don't worry, our dear merely has high standards." Nero said, though it looked like her eyes were watering slightly. "I simply have to work hard and prove that I am worthy of Arturia's kinship!"
Arturia grimaced, now feeling like a total heel. "I, it just," she gave a sigh. "Fine. You can be our sister."
The two in front of her gave a cheer before turning to talk among themselves. "So, will you be coming to drama club this year? I would like someone around in case Shakespeare tries to dethrone me from my rightful place as head again."
"I'll think about it, but right now I'm more concerned about having history with Mr. Matuo. Is it true that the old man is as much as a pervert as they say?"
Arturia was about to interject, but an unfortunately familiarly voice distracted her. "So, another year has come. This is when I shall finally make you mine."
She flinched and slowly turned, and was greeted with the sight of Gilgamesh giving her a haughty grin. "And so I see that you still intend to be a blight on my existence." She said scathingly.
The boy in expensive clothes simply laughed at this. "Ah, my dear Arturia, why must you fight the inevitable? With my wealth I could give you everything you ever wanted. Why, I could have financed your campaign last year-"
"I would never use such means to win!" She insisted. "And even if I would, I wouldn't take money from such a self-absorbed jackass like you."
Gilgamesh tilted his head to the side. "Because I intend to make you my woman, I am inclined to let that slide. However, it may be that I have been too lenient with you." He said and the air became charged.
Arturia slipped into a ready stance, and the two teens readied themselves to bring their absolutely excessive powers to bear. However, before they could obliterate everything around them, a broom handle appeared between them and nudged them apart. "Stop that, stop that. If you two start blowing things up, then I'll have to be the one to clean it up."
They turned and noticed a boy the same age as they were, but instead of wearing normal clothes, he wore a grey jump suit with a name tag on it, though the name was scratched out. He was very tan, tall and had short, spikey white hair. "How dare a plebian like you interrupt a matter between lovers?" Gil hissed.
"Yeah, pretty sure you're the only one who thinks that." The other boy said with a roll of his eyes. "Look, just get to class so I can finish sweeping, alright?"
"Wait, I know you." Arturia said. "Aren't you a student here?"
"No." He said flatly. "I refused to go along with this farce and dropped out, but apparently I don't have any marketable skills, so I had to become a janitor."
Gil laughed at this. "Oh this is rich. A Fake student telling me what to do." A smirk formed on his face. "Tell you what, for this amusement and your audacity, I shall remove myself. But do not think that I will tolerate your insolence again." He said, and with that he wandered off.
The janitor glared at Gil's back. "I can't believe that he gets even worse as he gets older. I think one of these days I need to try taking him down a peg myself. Hell, if my idiotic younger self could do it..."
"Uh," Arturia said, not quite sure how to response to that. "Well, thank you for getting rid of him, mister…?"
He looked at her with an unreadable look and said "Call me Archer."
"Well, thank you Archer, though I could have gotten rid of him on my own." She frowned as she looked at him. "What did you mean that you wouldn't 'go along with this farce'?"
Archer scowled. "I have been inappropriately summoned countless times by now, each time having no chance at ending my eternal torment, and now I'm summoned to do something as insipid as go through high school again, without even having the chance to kill my younger self to blow off some steam? To hell with that."
Arturia looked at him confused for a few moments before she said slowly "So… you have Eighth Grader's Syndrome?"
Archer threw up his hands in an exasperated groan and stormed off, leaving the girl even more confused. She eventually shook her head and turned back to walk towards the school doors.
Just another year at Holy Grail High.