Author's Note: Okay, so I was surfing through some Transformers stuff and, frankly, I am disappointed at some things fans have done to the Transformers universe. This is what I imagine the Transformers' reactions would be, along with some of the fans.

Specific people (unless everybody knows them) will not be named. If you were named (hopefully, unlikely), please message me and I'll take it down.

Feel free to enjoy this, ignore it, or leave a review with other points you want me to add.

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I am about thirty feet tall. You humans are about five feet tall. The mere idea of me having an offspring with a female human is – to put it simply – impossible.

- Optimus Prime

Dear DeviantART artists,

If Optimus had a sparkmate, she would not look exactly like him. That would be very narcissistic of him and horribly uncreative of the artist.

- the Transformers fans