Author's Note: Okay, the topics tackled in this chapter are actually veeeery controversial, especially the first one. Sorry if you support these POV's and get offended. Remember – this is not an attack on anybody. It's just the Transformers' possible reactions to the craziness of our world.

Once again, these are not my views. Anyone who thinks so will be shamed. SHAMED, I TELL YOU.

::Outgoing Message to the Citizens of Earth::

Optimus Prime and Lord Megatron: former brothers and comrades.

Possibility of amorous relationship: zero percent.

Date of information relay: twenty-fifth of Earth month June at 21:43:08.

Lord Megatron's initial status: critical condition from overload of cognitive sensors.

Lord Megatron's current status: ordering annihilation of Earth

Earth's inhabitants' complete termination: Imminent.

- Soundwave

To the humans of Earth,

Do you have some sort of sick tendency to pair any random two people together? Do you have any kind of idea how much it infuriates me to see myself paired with – oh, I don't know – Megatron, Starscream, Knock Out, and Breakdown? Just to name a few? Also, Jack? Really? You're pairing me with Jack? That's like pairing Raf with Bumblebee!

DON'T make me hunt you guys down.

- Arcee

Dear Michael Bay,

Yes, we saw the deleted scenes in the Blu-Ray DVD edition of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Now please explain why you cut out a wonderfully epic scene of Optimus fighting just to squeeze in a scene of dogs humping.


The Transformers Fans

And now… a feature letter from a fan.

To Megatron:

Hi! I'm your biggest fan… maybe. You stupid fragger – you can't even tell that you will never win. I'm your fan because it's funny watching you beat the ** out of Starscream. Optimus is cool… to say the most. Decepticons get all the cool weapons and alt-modes.

- Metalatron

To Metalatron,

How do you know I'm never going to win? Optimus may be a Prime, but I lead a vast army of Decepticons. We're the main reason Optimus was forced to leave Cybertron in the first place. As for you being a fan, I say it's useless unless you're a robot. Then you might make a fine addition to my army. But you're not a Transformer - you're merely a fleshling.

Watch what you say about me.

- Megatron

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