For a Whedonverse challenge, a crack pairing

Summary: Billy has his perfect date programmed by the LA Dollhouse


Billy paced the lounge nervously. One of the other League members had recommended the LA Dollhouse to him, something they wouldn't have done had they known what use the evil genius would make of it. The roses he was clutching were digging into his hands, the thorns drawing blood, but he relished the pain for it kept him focussed.

"She will not be Penny," Adelle had explained as she poured tea. "A full personality imprint would require a download had been made prior to her untimely death. However, with the information you have given us, we can construct an imprint that closely matches the original."

Billy had smiled. "That may better suit my purposes. There are a few…adjustments I'd like you to make." For one, he'd asked that this woman despise superheroes and support him in his evil endeavours.

He'd watched the actives as they practised yoga, ate in the dining room, and took art class. He considered Tango, almost chose Echo, but in the finish he decided to go with Sierra. There was a certain vulnerability to her even in her blank state that reminded him of Penny.

Topher had drawn together various facets of personality to make the Penny imprint. Billy had privately named her Penny 2.0, the improved version. Today, she was ready for him.

When Adelle herself escorted Sierra to meet Billy his breath caught in his throat. A long red wig sat on Sierra's head and she was dressed in a long loose top over faded blue jeans, and her hands were half hidden in the sleeves of a long cardigan. Sierra tipped her head shyly as Adelle introduced her to Billy and explained how he was going to take her to lunch.

"Hi," Sierra said and held out her hand. Billy took it, pressed his fingers to the back of her hand. Then he gave her the flowers.

"These are for you."

"Thank you." Sierra took his proffered, crocked, arm, and he escorted her to his car.

Billy knew Sierra's handler was close by, but he still felt he had some privacy in his own vehicle and let his guard down. He made small talk, delighted whenever her response matched something that Penny might have said.

"There's this guy I know," he began experimentally, "calls himself Captain Hammer."

"Sounds like a tool," Sierra quipped and Billy's heart pounded in his chest, delighted that she was so perfect.

They ate in a wonderful restaurant that Billy might have come back to rob later if it wasn't on the League's list of sacrosanct places. Still, the reason it was on the list was that members, like Billy himself, could have a meal in peace without the threat of criminal masterminds intruding on the dessert.

Sierra/Penny 2.0 never once mentioned over-fishing when he ordered salmon, didn't talk about the hungry in Africa when he left a large portion of his vegetables uneaten, and didn't talk about the homeless once. It was heavenly.

Billy escorted his date back to the dollhouse entrance and they paused near the elevator while her handler waited nearby to offer her a treatment.

"I had a lovely time, Billy," Sierra said.

"So did I." Billy leant in and tipped his head. She did the same and their lips met. Billy felt as if he were floating on air. She tasted of chocolate mousse and red wine, and smelt of jasmine and lilac blossoms, a perfume he'd asked for that smelt similar to Penny's favourite fabric conditioner.

When they finally parted, Sierra touched her tongue to her lips as if checking her lipstick. "Will I see you again, Billy?"

"Maybe."

Billy watched as her handler led Sierra away. He leant against his car door, stunned. It had been worth every penny, no pun intended. The League member who'd put him in touch with Adelle had thought Billy needed a made to order whore to get laid with, but all Billy had wanted was a close match to Penny so he could have the one thing he'd never got chance for. A single kiss.