The idea for this was born after I kept reading about a story called "Inside Man" on my Twitter feed (which apparently is AMAZING!). Of course, my dirty mind wanted to know exactly why he was called so and as soon I realised that my pervy theory did not match the reality, I decided to write my own 'reality'. This is my first fic ever.

Warnings: This is M-rated for a reason, please respect it. The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and I'm simply borrowing them for one crazy night. ;)

This is meant to be a crack(ish) fic with a touch of lemon. I hope you enjoy it.

The Man Inside

I am stuck.

Metaphorically and literally. Stuck. My cock is in her and I cannot get it out. At least not without ripping some part of our bodies that was created for pleasure but is currently getting in the way. Of me. Getting out. Of her.

Fuck. My. Life.

Well, I guess fucking was what got me into this in the first place. Pun intended.


I met her a few hours ago in the busy Mexican restaurant just a few minutes away from my home. The attraction was instant. She was chatting with a few friends, but kept sneaking glances at me across the room, where I was having dinner with my sister Rosalie. We were discussing our parents' wedding anniversary surprise but that's probably all I could say about the entire conversation, since my mind was occupied with the gorgeous woman staring at me. Neither of us was subtle, so it was no surprise when I found her lingering outside the restaurant after I got out with Rose and kissed her cheek goodbye. Even in the poor light outside I could tell how beautiful this stranger was, how much I wanted her right there and then. The determination in her eyes and the way she approached me without hesitation as soon as Rosalie disappeared around the corner made her even sexier in mere seconds.

"Are you with her, pretty boy?" She asked, her head high and her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Why would that matter anyway? I'm alone now, aren't I?" I countered, feeling the adrenaline rush in, my need for her growing stronger.

"Cause I never fuck men who are already taken and I wouldn't break my rule even for you."

"Judging by the way you were eye-fucking me earlier, I don't think your rule…"

"As if you're the one to speak," she interrupted and took a step closer. A few people rushed out of the restaurant so we both instinctively moved closer to the wall. Closer to each other.

"I am sure that we both know exactly how this night will continue, don't you think?" I murmured, as I leaned towards her, boundaries forgotten. "My name is Edward. I'd like to have you. If I'm any good at judging character, which I know I am, I say you'd like to have me too. Right. Now."

She didn't even tremble at my words. All she did was take my hand and whisper, "Bella. My place or yours?"



Here I am an hour later, cursing everything – the stupid restaurant, Bella's sultry eyes, her forwardness, my own resolve to have her, and most importantly, our shared inability to foresee what has just happened. I vaguely remember hearing about her vaginal piercing while I was ripping the clothes off her body, desperate to kiss and nibble on whatever my lips could access. Looking back at it now, the bells in my head should have gone off, but instead, I got even more turned on, wondering how it'd feel to lick the little ring and feel the metal mix with her arousal on my tongue. It was crazy, but I believed her when she said she was clean and on the pill and in the same crazy way, she trusted me too.

Next thing I knew, we were both naked on my bed and she was fighting me to get on top, her little hands trying to pin me down. It was probably the hottest thing I'd even seen, until, of course, I managed to turn her over and take an appreciative look of her body under me.

"This is how I want you, Bella, understand? You'll get to be on top next time," I promised, unwilling to let her win this one. She'd already been the one to take the first step and I had to insist on getting it my way.

"And the one after that, Edward," she growled back, shifting her legs up so that her lower body could brush mine. "Now get inside me. I won't ask twice."

"Bella," I held her chin in my fingers and looked into her eyes, "Inside is exactly where I plan to be for the next few hours."


Famous last words. I keep telling myself that they'll be funny when all of this is over. But not now. Definitely not now.

I don't even know how many times I managed to thrust inside her when I felt the tugging. I tried drawing my cock back, but I felt the resistance. Shit. Shit! SHIT! This was not normal.

"Edward, what's wrong, why did you stop?" Bella asked in between panting breaths.

"I can't, erm…pull out, Bella. Can't you feel it?"

"What? What the hell do you mean you can't?" She half-screamed at me.

Instead of speaking, I shifted my hips back, ultimately causing us both pain. Her gasp was enough to show me that this time she knew what I meant.

"Bella, did you suddenly get a muscle cramp or something? Has this happened to you before?" I questioned her, the worry in my voice clear.

"You think I wouldn't have noticed a muscle cramp in my vagina while you're inside me? There's certainly nothing wrong with me, Edward!"

"Well, I don't know, women tend to get carried away when I…"

"I don't think you're even hearing yourself, you cocky bastard. Just please try to slide out before I panic completely."

Right then, slide out. As if it is that easy. Whenever I try, it feels like some force is holding my cock in. I am currently locked inside someone who's practically a stranger and who keeps urging me to do something about our predicament. She's still as hot as hell in her anger but that's a lot more than I bargained for. I think I'm getting nauseous when it hits me. The piercing.

"Bella, the piercing," I stutter.

"Fuck, this is my fault again? Edward, I've had this for years and not once…"

"Not yours, Bella. Mine. I have a piercing too. I don't even notice it anymore, it's become almost a part of my body, but I guess I should have mentioned it. It's not your regular ring on the tip, I have it higher up and it must have tangled with yours."

Her stunned silence is making me uncomfortable. I wait for her to say something, anticipating the storm after the calm and sure enough, the storm follows.

" WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE?" Bella squirms underneath me, causing us both to cringe.

"Oh, I'M sorry, I was so foolishly trying to get you aroused, Miss 'Get in me, I won't ask twice!'SORRY I was needy and greedy, in haste to have you while you were taking your sweet time and not putting me under ANY pressure WHATSOEVER!" I shout back, making sure to use my best sarcasm voice.

Bella finally has the decency to stop bitchfacing me. "I guess it's both our faults, I'm sorry. I wanted you just as much and I never thought that skipping foreplay would result in this."

For the first time tonight there is something vulnerable in the way she speaks, even if it is only a hint. I decide that continuing to attack each other will not resolve anything. Plus, my body is getting really tired above hers. I wouldn't have noticed if I was having sex, but since this is not the case, my muscles are rebelling.

"Bella, would you mind if we tried to lie down sideways? My back is aching and perhaps we'll be able to detach the piercings," I suggest and give her a small smile.

"All right, old man, if you say so. I was expecting a sexathon tonight and you can't even stay like that for 10 minutes?" She huffs, but I can tell she understands. As fiery as we both are, there's an undercurrent of caring in our words now. This is not your typical man-in-woman situation and we both understand that we need to work with each other if we want to get out of it. In fact, if we want me to get out of it. I chuckle and put my arm under her waist, turning us gently on our sides. I feel the relief instantly.

"What now? You find this funny?" Bella nudges my shoulder. "Better now?"

"Yes and yes, actually. This position is much better. It's never been a favourite of mine for real sex, but I find it much more enjoyable for almost-sex. To be honest, this is quite comfy."

"Almost sex? You mean you being IN me right now doesn't count? I feel cheated, Edward!" I see her trying to stifle her laugh and put my hand on her cheek.

"Oh, I very much count this as sex, Bella. But I'll only think of it as real when I get to finish what I started and have you come all over me as I spill inside you," I reply, making sure to hold her gaze with mine. She shivers before me and because we're so close, too close even, I shiver with her.

The prisoner's status also changes from half-excited to fully aroused by the time Bella opens her mouth to reply. This momentarily stuns her but she grins and runs her hand on my chest.

"Perhaps none of this would have happened if we'd started a little slower... You know, talk about things, share our last names, take clothes off instead of ripping them. Then again, I find myself enjoying," she slides her hand down to where we're joined and puts her fingers on me, "this."

"I don't need to know your last name, Bella, to know that this is the hottest, most mind-blowing prison anyone's ever been in. It's also probably the first one where the prisoner entered completely voluntary and willingly."

Her eyes darken before she murmurs, "I'd say that's one hell of a prison then," and leans in to kiss me. Her lips are fire on mine, the earlier urgency still there, but now it's ignited by new, powerful knowledge: I cannot get out of this woman even if I wanted to. We're linked, literally locked to each other in the most intimately physical way, and I admit to myself that I rather like it. Neither of us is foolish enough to think that there's some magical, instant emotional connection. We got in this for the pleasure and being able to speak and joke with each other is only an added bonus. The only thing that throws me off balance is how quickly we got over the initial panic. Surely no one should be that OK with having his most highly prised possession stuck in...

"Edward, ow! Ow, stop!" Bella's gasp interrupts my train of thought and I see the discomfort on her face. It takes me a second to realise that while we were making out I got so lost in my world that I shifted my hips. She informs me that I managed to push a couple of inches in until I tried to pull back and it did not work. I apologise profusely and remind her that perhaps we should stop making out and try to free the prisoner before I get carried away again and do something nasty.

"What if getting carried away is exactly what we need?" She suggests and I struggle to understand what she means before she goes on. "You have a problem down there that won't go away unless we take care of it. The prisoner needs to release some... pressure before it can slide out of the cage, don't you think?"

"Wait, you actually want us to finish? Even though I can't thrust? How about we just wait for the prisoner to lose interest? I know it'll take a while, Bella, but it'll work out!" The problem is, I don't believe my own words. Not when I have her in my arms, her breasts brushing my chest and her red, swollen lips are only inches away from me. I shake my head and mumble, "Or maybe it won't. What are you suggesting exactly?"

"What I want us to do, Edward, is to turn this almost-sex into real sex. At least according to your 'standards'," she snickers. "I'm sure that if I come first, that'll push you over the edge and trust me, if I can make myself come without your cock inside me, then I can surely do it with your extra help."

The mental images of what she's describing make me uneasy, in that frustrated, teenage-boy kind of way. I'm afraid I won't be able to hold still while she touches herself, but at least I'm sure that if she reaches her climax, I'll follow her.

"Right. I'll do it. But you have to tell me if I hurt you, Bella. If I lose control and try to thrust or pull out at any point, you have to stop me," I warn her.

"Edward, I trust you. Plus, I wouldn't let you hurt me or yourself. Now just relax and let me do the work."

With that, she kisses me and sneaks her hand between us again. I'm already the hardest I've been all night and she hasn't even done anything yet.

"Stop being so tense, this will be over in a minute," she reassures me, but I decide I'd rather kiss her, so I do.

The "minute" that follows feels like a second and a thousand years at once. Bella is working her own magic, her fingers touching lightly at first, then more roughly, their speed increasing. In the meantime, I have to channel my frustration and since I can't move, my best option is to kiss her back as desperately and wantonly as I can manage.

Our tongues are playing, we're breathing each others' breaths and the fire spreads further and deeper. I swear that it starts somewhere in me, runs through Bella and it comes back, burning just as intensely. We can't be any closer. One of my arms is around her waist, while the other holds her face and tilts it as I please. She's not holding back either and her free hand grabs my hair and pulls. Chest touching. Legs intertwined. My buzzing but very still cock is inside her, always inside her, please, please, forever inside her. In a split second I want to pull back, I don't want us to succeed. Why I would ever want to be outside of this gorgeous woman is beyond me. We have to stop now so I can stay there, buried in her, a prisoner to her.

Sensing my hesitation and mistaking it for fear, she moans into my mouth, "Just let go, Edward," and I can feel her fingers working faster just above where we're joined. She's close, so close, and so am I. Our breathing changes yet again, a staccato of gasps and throaty moans, and I feel as if I'd burst if I don't thrust. But no. I can't. If I do, I'll hurt us both and I need her whole and perfect, just as she is now.

Bella's kisses become nibbles and bites as she gets to the high where I wanted to take her earlier. A pang of jealousy hits me and I hate her fingers for doing what I was supposed to do, what I took her to my bed to do. But as she starts shaking in my arms I forget all bitterness and pour my soul into our kisses. I feel her muscles contract and her climax sets off something inside me, a yearning so deep and real that I'm convinced I'm having an out-of-body experience. Bella breaks the kiss away while riding the last waves of her orgasm and between looking at her flushed, beautiful face and feeling her clenching around me, I become undone. This is simultaneously the most difficult and the most satisfying orgasm of my life, and I struggle to remain still while the force of it overtakes me. Bella's body is still shaking a little and I am transfixed by it. To make it even more difficult, her lips attack mine again and in between kisses she keeps mumbling something I can't quite decipher, like "Yes...don't move... please... God, Oh God, Edward..."

My own mouth tries to form her name, but I'm not sure I succeed. All I know is that I come hard inside her, finally, growling, clutching her even tighter, biting her just like she bit me earlier. My eyes close but the heat radiating from our bodies is palpable. So is the relief.

For minutes afterwards we lie in my bed, not moving an inch, trying to breathe normally but failing, as we keep stealing kisses from each other. I kiss her shoulder, she licks my neck. In return, I lightly bite her ear before she whimpers and goes back to the beginning, my lips.

"The prisoner should be free now," Bella murmurs but there's a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"The prisoner is dead, Bella, his escape attempt was too much for him," I joke and she laughs lightly. "Plus, I'm not sure he's ready to leave his prison just yet," I add and look into her eyes.

"Maybe he won't be free for long, so let him enjoy it while he can," she replies and pulls away, ever so carefully. We're still not sure it'll work, but it does. I slide out of her effortlessly and sit up.

"What, eager to leave now that you're free?"

I look at her and touch her lips with my fingers. I can tell she's questioning my next steps, wondering if I'll make her leave my home in the middle of the night. But I'm not ready to let her go.

I lean against the headboard and take my cock in my hands.

"Not quite," I say and start removing my piercing. "I may not want to get stuck inside you anymore, Bella, but I sure haven't forgotten my promise. This time, you're on top. Just let me get this thing off first. I won't ask twice."

-The End-

The prisoner is free! LOL I hope that made you smile. In earlier versions, I had tons of different ideas. Like, Edward getting explosive diarrhoea while being stuck inside Bella. (Thank Lux, she personally banned that one.) Or having them calling ER and taking them to a hospital in front of tons of people. Or even worse, having Charlie walk in on them and then instruct them on how to detach themselves. But this is how it turned out, what can I say?

Thank you to Lux, who helped me turn simple Twitter jokes into a full blown story. To Samira, who was my very first 'nudger', and to my beta and my pre-reader, Vampire Extraordinaire and Dandelion Mind. I love you all. (Linda and Jails, you too.)

Thank you again and take care. ~ Chrisska xxx