Eric shook the vial over a bag of Cheetos. Not even a droplet of the potion came out. He threw the vial against the dashboard and crossed his arms. He huffed as he glared at Wendy.
"You wasted my... MY... last dosage of pheromones on a charity case!" Cartman growled at Wendy.
Wendy shifted her eyes to look at Cartman without turning her head. The rain had subsided, but it still thudded against the windshield. They would be in South Park within 10 minutes. Wendy couldn't wait to drop Cartman off at his house. Ever since they had left the restaurant, all Cartman did was whine and complain. It was time for him to suckle his mom's teat for awhile. Wendy had almost lost her patience with the titty-baby.
"Why don't you check on Adolfa?" Wendy said instead of the million insults she wanted to throw at Cartman. If their relationship was going to survive past prom, one of them had to act like an adult and have some kind of self-restraint.
"She's fine," Cartman grumbled through a mouthful of Cheetos. Maybe he was a little cute when he pouted. Wendy reached a right hand over to Cartman's thigh.
"Look, why don't we go get some more supplements before I take you home? We're multimillionaires now. We can buy more pheromones for you. Then will you stop throwing a hissy fit?"
Cartman nodded his head and sighed. "I know we can buy more, but... you care about everyone else more than me." Cartman trained his tear-filled puppy dog eyes on Wendy.
Wendy swerved the truck in her surprise. The car that had been following her passed them. The person in the passenger seat had her middle finger sticking out the window. Wendy pulled onto the shoulder of the road, right beside the South Park welcome sign.
"What are you talking about?"
"You alwaaaaaays help others, and yoooooou are nicer to theeeeeeem."
"Eric Theodore Cartman! I wouldn't do this to just anyone, and definitely not that Jay guy." Wendy moved her hand from Cartman's thigh and cradled his balls. She rubbed them with her thumb. "I don't know why you're so insecure. You're the great Eric Cartman."
"Because I have to take pheromones before you'll fuck me." Eric grabbed Wendy's hand and removed it from his genitalia.
Wendy straightened her back. It wasn't that she didn't find Eric unattractive without the pheromones... but they did add a little extra kick to the sex. She shook her head. They probably helped her get over his personality flaws more than anything.
"You know what, screw the supplements. We don't need them. I can rock your world with or without them." Wendy unbuckled her seat belt and crawled into Eric's lap.
Wendy nibbled on his fleshy neck and kissed her way to his ear. He placed his firmly on her hips. She ground her hips against Cartman's and gasped. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed away. Cartman turned his head sheepishly to the side.
"Maybe we need the pheromones after all..." The corners of Cartman's mouth were downcast. Wendy's own mouth was wide open.
"No! This can't..." Wendy scooted backwards until her ass was resting on Cartman's knees; her back pressed against the glove compartment. She unbuttoned Cartman's pants and pulled them down. She looked from his flaccid penis to his eerily placid face. He didn't seem nearly as upset about this as Wendy.
"No. No, no, no!" Wendy scrambled from Cartman's lap and back into the driver's seat. She shifted from park to drive and floored the gas pedal. Rocks flew from her tires as she skidded back onto the street.
"The worst of it is over. So, why don't you... lovely... little children go back home?" Mr. Garrison said to the group of teenage boys sitting around his living room.
Stan stopped running his hands through Kyle's red curls. Kyle didn't move his head from Stan's lap, but he grumbled his disapproval at the lack of contact. Stan glanced out the window. It was true that rain had slowed down a bit, but he didn't like the idea of taking robotic babies out there. Besides it was dark and chilly out there.
"Mr. Garrison, what about the dolls?" Kenny spoke up before Stan had the chance. Butters was leaning against Kenny's shoulder. He twitched every few seconds. Kenny thought it was cute, but didn't know how anyone could sleep against his bony shoulder.
"Blast those stupid dolls! I should have never given you that assignment! It's been all of three days since you've taken them home, and you're causing me this much trouble? You know what... just wait right here." Mr. Garrison stormed out of the room. When he came back he was holding a screw driver. Not the drink, but the actual tool. Now that he thought about it, Mr. Garrison would have to make a screw driver to rest his nerves after all these children were gone.
He picked up the doll closest to him. Winston. Stan watched in horror as Mr. Garrison unscrewed a compartment in the doll's back. He pulled out a microchip and the batteries. He dropped the baby on the floor with a thud. Kyle and Butters snapped awake and turned to see Mr. Garrison give the same treatment to Aran. Butters squeaked as he rushed to his daughter's aid.
It was too late. The microchips had been removed. The dolls lay on the ground lifeless. As lifeless as any other inanimate object. But the dolls hadn't just been any other inanimate object to the boys. They had been essential in their budding relationships. This was too much.
"You killed Winston! You bastard!" Kyle screamed at Mr. Garrison. Stan held his fiery redhead away from Mr. Garrison. He didn't want to have more self-control than Kyle. He wanted to punch their teacher in the face as much as Kyle did. In fact, if he weren't holding Kyle back, someone would have to hold Stan himself back.
Kenny glared daggers at Mr. Garrison has he held Butters' sobbing form to his chest. Aran lay motionless a few inches away from his foot.
"You boys can leave the dolls here. Don't worry about your grade. I won't count this against you," Mr. Garrison said as he walked to and opened his front door.
Kenny helped Butters get to his feet. Stan moved his hands from the top of Kyle's arms to his hand. The boys walked out. Stan stopped in front of Mr. Garrison.
"It wasn't about the grade anymore, and you know that. We were all trying to prove something. To ourselves and to society. Even you. I hope you are ashamed." Stan continued walking with Kyle and the others.
"Should we tell the other guys that Garrison has gone ballistic?" Kenny asked.
"That son of a bitch! After all that time and care we put into those dolls. The sleepless nights... the interruptions during class..." steam poured out of Kyle's ears. He turned back to Mr. Garrison's house and shook his fist. "That bastard."
"Yeah, I think we should. That way they can at least enjoy their dolls for a little longer. I'll call Craig," Stan responded to Kenny. He let Kyle continue his mindless banter and insults. Butters still sniffled into Kenny's shirt.
Craig cracked an eye open. The sleep-gunk on his eyes prevented him from opening them all the way, but he could at least locate the annoying thing that had awoken him from his blissful slumber. He reached for his phone.
"This had better be important," his gruff, nasally voice said over the line. He lay back down as he listened. He felt around for Tweek. The spasmatron was gone.
"Is that all? Really? That'll be great. What? I hated this assignment. Hey! Tell your little boyfriend to get his panties out of a wad. Whatever." Craig pushed the red button on his phone. He sat up with all intentions of finding his own little boyfriend and making damn well sure he didn't have on any kind of underwear to get into a twist. However, the object of his thoughts walked into the door carrying a tray of food.
"What is this?" Craig asked, surprised.
"W-well- gah!- We didn't eat dinner -Jesus Christ! I thought you might be -gah!- hungry after our work out." Tweek set the tray of food in front of Craig. "Sorry. I only- gah!- know h-how to make breakfast- Jesus Christ- food. It tastes best- gah!- with cof—coffee."
Craig looked at the small plate of food in front of him. Scrambled eggs with visible pieces of eggshell, bacon crispy all over, and two pieces of toast with butter and jam sloppily applied.
"This looks delicious, but my hand hurts." Craig smirked.
"Oh-oh no! What happened?"
"Well, I'm dating a naughty boy who needs special care. He kept my hands busy for hours today, so I think I need help eating all of this."
Tweek looked confused for a second, then blushed. "O-oh! I can feed you -man!-, Craig."
"Token, I have some bad news." Clyde said as Token walked into his room from the bathroom.
"What's up?" Token asked as he raised an eyebrow.
"I think... I think I'm pregnant!" Clyde stood up from the bed. He had a pillow tucked into his shirt.
"... That's lame." Token responded in a flat tone.
"I thought it was funny." Clyde stuck his tongue out and threw the pillow at Token. Token blocked the pillow with his hands and laughed.
"You are lame!" He tackled Clyde. They both landed on the bed.
Token tickled Clyde until his face was red from the laughter. Tears streaked Clyde's ruddy cheeks, and his breathing was labored. Clyde grabbed Token's hands and wrapped his left leg around Token's waist. He used his weight to flip the two over.
"Payback is a bitch, my friend." Clyde cracked his fingers as he laughed menacingly. Token was saved by the bell. His phone began ringing before Clyde could lay a recently popped finger on him.
Clyde reached for Token's phone and handed it to him. "It's Kenny. Taking away all my fun."
The rain still drizzled down, but Bebe didn't care. She needed some fresh air. She left her house and walked into the night. Her mind had become hazy. Her conscience was fuzzy. After spending all of yesterday with everyone... They all seemed genuinely happy with one another. She didn't know how strong the effects of the drug were. She didn't know if it just made the user more bold with his feelings or changed his emotions completely. Were all of her friends really, truly happy with one another?
She needed to tell them all the truth. She would. But first she needed answers. She pulled her hood over her already damp and frizzy hair. Bebe was alone with her thoughts. The worst place to be alone. Her gut twisted in despair and guilt. Why had she decided to give them that kind of supplement?
Because Bebe's boobs had destroyed society. She wanted them to see...to understand first hand... how all the boys had treated her at the onslaught of her puberty. The boys had turned into beasts and all competed for her affection. Although none of them really wanted affection from her. They were mindlessly, savagely going after something they didn't even really want. And it had hurt her feelings. That didn't excuse her from basically brainwashing her friends. They had all been kids at that time. The boys had probably learned their lessons. Then Wendy came along with this great idea.
Bebe stopped walking. She heard someone steadily following her. She turned her head to see Jimmy.
"Jimmy? What are you doing here?" Bebe called out to him.
He glanced up from the sidewalk. "Buh-Bebe? I just went by your house. N-nobody answered the door."
Bebe waited for him to hobble to her before walking again. "Why are you going this way? Isn't your house across town?"
"I-I'm wuh-was guh-going t-t-t-to see Timmy." Jimmy stuttered. His stuttering increasingly got worse the more excited or surprised he was. Except in bed. How interesting. "Wuh-what are you doing out here in the rain?"
"I needed to get some fresh air. Why don't I walk you to Timmy's place? I was going to his neighborhood anyway."
Bebe's phone began buzzing into her pocket. She looked at the face, saw who was calling, and pushed ignore. "We better hurry."