10th April 1912- Boarding:

"Are we there yet?"

"No Baldrick, not yet", answered a very bored Blackadder.

"Well we can't be far away now. Can we Blackadder?" George sighed, "Oh, I can't wait. It's so nice of my old friend Thomas Andrews to give us tickets to board Titanic for her maiden voyage. Did I mention that we were best friends at school?"

"Yes you did" replied Blackadder dryly.

"And did I mention that we were…"

"Next door neighbours" finished Blackadder.

"How on earth did you guess?"

"I really don't know your Lordship. But if I had to hazard a guess I would say that it's because during this journey which has taken us two hours by train and then a further hour or so in this car, you might have mentioned it before. And let's say you mentioned it more than once. Let's say around…I don't know…thirty times. I think I would have remembered."

"But Blackadder you have a terrible memory" George told him forgetting that his memory was twice as bad.

"Quite" Blackadder agreed with him. There seemed no need to start a pointless argument today. An argument have finished him off he was that tired. All of the trouble Blackadder had gone through to get the lord here; he better bloody enjoy it, he thought to himself.

"Are we there yet?" Baldrick asked again from the back of the car.

"For the last time Baldrick, no. And if you ask again I'll…"

"You'll kill me sir?" Baldrick asked, he'd gotten used to the death threats that never came.

"Yes that's exactly what I'll do. Now stop annoying me and shut up!"

"Blackadder?" George spoke poking him repeatedly on the shoulder.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?" Blackadder didn't mean to shout but he was fed up and he just wanted some peace. He was fed up with this journey on which he didn't wish to come anyway and he was also fed up of his life in general. Part of that was because he was fed up of having to look after a lord who was a penny short of a brain.

"Um," George spoke nervously, "I think we've arrived"

Blackadder looked out of the car window to find the busy streets of Southampton packed with hundreds of people rushing about with suitcases and bags.

"So we have", Blackadder stated.

The car drove around the corner and that's when they saw it. The Titanic. The largest, most beautiful, unsinkable ship. The car pulled to a halt and the three of them ventured out into Southampton. George led the way followed closely by Blackadder and then Baldrick with all of their luggage. They then paused to take in the beauty of the enormous ship.

"Isn't she wonderful" It wasn't a question George had asked it was a fact because no matter how much Blackadder would rather be at home he agreed with him and he couldn't wait to see more of the marvellous ship.


It was noon when the Titanic set sail from Southampton port. There was a huge waving off ceremony for the ship and everyone bore a smile. Well, everyone except from Edmund Blackadder.

"What's wrong Bladders?" asked George. The two of them were sat in the lords' cabin which was truly stunning. A room fit for a king.

"Nothing", came the mumbled reply.

"Well something must be the matter for you to look like that. Or do you always look like that? I just can't remember. You see I'm always too busy worrying about my own good looks to even have the time to worry about anyone else's. Their looks obviously aren't as good as mine but they're looks none the less, "George took a sip from his cup of tea and then shouted into the a-joining room, "Have you finished unpacking yet Baldrick?"

"Nearly my lord," came the reply, "Which suit will you be wearing to dinner?"

"That is a hard question. I'll tell you what Balders. Bring them in here and Mr grumpy face in here can help me decide."

Oh what fun, Blackadder thought. He could probably think of a million things he could be doing with this time. His train of thought was ruined when Baldrick emerged with a dozen suits in his arms. George stood up and took the first one from Baldrick and held it up against himself.

"What do you think Blackadder?"

Might as well end this now, "Absolutely wonderful my lord. You should change immediately" Blackadder replied and he added a round of applause.

"Hang the overs up will you Baldrick, I'm going to change."

"Of course my lord."

George emerged moments later wearing a white suit and a red bow tie and he couldn't help but looking at himself more than once in the mirror. Blackadder however still bore a dull expression and was sat where he was previously at the round oak table.

"Your lordship I couldn't help but noticing that these only one room and as you've claimed it as your own, where be mine and Baldricks?"

George looked completely confused but then he remembered, "Oh yes. You two are down below. Baldrick has been placed in the boiler rooms where he will sleep and work and you're in a third class cabin. Luckily it's just you .Thomas made special arrangements for you so you wouldn't have to share the room with complete strangers. You didn't expect Andrews to give away three first class tickets for free, did you?"


"Oh how very selfish you are Blackadder. I embraced what Thomas gave me with open arms but you…you dirty third class scum decide it's not good enough for you. Well I've had enough, so take your stupid ape with you and be gone. I never want to speak to you again."


Baldrick ran into the room, "Yes my lord?"

"We're leaving" and with that Blackadder stormed from the room leaving behind a very confused Baldrick. Baldrick looked at George and then he ran after Blackadder.

"The git," Blackadder mumbled to himself. Baldrick had caught up and they were now walking down stairs and through corridors in attempt to locate their rooms. "He just used us Baldrick, He used me to get himself here and he's put you down in the boiler rooms to help pay for the tickets."

"At least we have each other," Baldrick smiled, "as long as you've got someone you haven't lost everything ."

"That's really reassuring Baldrick"


"No," they stopped outside a door, " here's my room Baldrick and yours is down another three flights of stairs. Good night." Blackadder slammed the door shut and dreamed of a place where he was free to do what he liked.