Finn slows us down and takes my hands in his. "It took a single moment for me to know what I wanted. I wanted you to be mine. I needed you to be mine. I will always love you Violet, unkempt or polished, confident or irrational, you are the one for me. Life is only worth living if you let me live it with you. Say yes…marry me…"
I tell him my answer. And we become what we were meant to be. One.
I will admit I've been more than irrational as of late. Enough to make Finn engage in deep breathing rituals in an effort to stay calm. But not enough to force either one of us apart. Nevertheless today is a new day. Anything could happen. And I've made a decision. One I'm not so sure he's prepared for.
It's another gorgeous day in Four. Bright, sunny, the ocean wind is carelessly blowing over the white sand on the beach. Finn has a firm grip on my hand as we walk down the shoreline to the dock. Most likely to keep me from bolting now with hundreds of eyes on us. The anxiety of being in public with him hasn't dissipated like I had hoped. The glare of the spotlight has been a sore point. I'd rather have my life choices examined by Haymitch. Fortunately with Rowan's engagement he's managed to at least make it bearable. It's like a tag team. One day he's in the news. The next day I am. They will get bored of us eventually Finn tells me. Well that day hasn't arrived yet.
"I think we should talk." I say.
"Now?" he asks. I try to stay as quiet as possible in public so nothing I say can be misconstrued but I've been harboring another secret. And it's been eating me up inside for so long I don't think I can hold it in any longer.
"I've been feeling this way for sometime now and I just think, well, I…"
"Are you breaking up with me?" His smiling teeth are tight through his astonishment.
"Don't tell me you're surprised,' I say. "I've noticed a difference in you too."
"It has crossed my mind," he concedes. "But there's just one problem.
I look around, wondering how much people are hearing of this. "What?"
"I think you've ruined me for other women. I mean sure we could move on, find someone else, but it won't be the same."
"So you're saying I'll just need to settle for you?"
"I meant you'll never find someone as amazing as me but if settling will make you stay than so be it."
I sigh. "Maybe we need to make a change, add something to our lives to make it more exciting."
"So you weren't having fun last night? Or this morning?"
A flush rushes to my cheeks which will only cause the beach-goers to stare more. "I didn't say that. But there's more to life than just… that."
Grinning as we step onto the dock he takes a moment to kiss me, stretching one hand around my waist. "Well if you're not satisfied I could work harder. There must be something I can do to-"
I pull him to walk further onto the dock. This is not how I thought the conversation was going to go.
"Eager to get this over with? Skipping out is still an option, then we could back to our room."
As if we could just abandon our own wedding now. Of course if I were the first to take off no one would really question it. But who needs to add fuel to the fire of is Violet Mellark actually going to go through with her marriage to Finn Odair?
I ignore his offer and continue my march down the aisle of the dock where my parents, his mother, Haymitch, Rowan and a very pleased Plutarch - who Finn asked to conduct the wedding - are waiting. Boats surround us with the press aiming their cameras in our direction. I do my best to not take notice and pretend we're just going for a walk on the dock. I'm using my powers for good now. Instead of pretending Finn and I aren't together I just pretend the world has no interest in us. It doesn't always work but it's the only way I've made it this far down the aisle.
Only a few more steps and all I have to do is talk about how much I love Finn and life can move on.
"Hold on," he says halting my purposeful march.
He lets go of my hand exposing it to the cold sea air for the first time today. "I'll give you one more chance, you can back out. I don't have to marry you to be with you."
He's said this nearly as much as he's told me he loves me. Afraid I'm just doing this to please him. That he's pressured me into doing this just so I won't lose him again. Some of my anxiousness seems to have unfortunately rubbed off on him. One more reason why this is the right choice.
"I just walked past hundreds of people I don't know, the rest of the world is watching us right now on television, my father is crying he's so happy right now, and I'm pretty sure Haymitch is going to tear up any second and you're asking me now if I want to back out?"
Unnerved with how many people would be upset Finn says, "I just want you to be happy. If this isn't what you want-"
I kiss my needy husband-to-be. If he needs me to be happy he should have nothing to worry about. As long as I have him, I have everything I'll every want.
The kiss starts to get a little more serious as he kisses me back. Rowan decides this is the time to interrupt things. "Unless you two want to make a baby in front of Panem you should probably finish this after the ceremony."
Finn scowls at Rowan, not wanting the mention of children to scare me off either. The last subject of our future we've barely discussed. He's said he's content with marriage. I'll make his life complete… but I know he wants more. I also know something he doesn't.
Finn takes my hand and asks me, "You're sure then? No turning back?"
One step at a time Mellark. First comes love. Then comes announcing it to the world. Then comes marriage. Then I'll tell him tonight. When it's just the two of us. That soon enough it will be three of us.