This hill is the farthest away from the kingdom, and that I'm thankful for. I can make wishes in peace, without anyone bothering me. My cell has no signal, no kids to throw Frisbees at me, no family chasing me around with demands we go cause trouble, and plenty of space.
So much space.
Too much space.
I'd like to share this space with someone. But not just anyone who would walk up on this hill, no, but someone I've known for the last few years, and loved with all of my heart.
Haven't you ever felt that way?
The feeling of sitting in the rain on a Wednesday night, wishing to the stars in Star Haven and anything else up there, wishing with all of your heart, that you could finally be with him? Together, like magnets when undisturbed? Flying carefree with each other, like butterflies?
But in his society, how, is the question. The only one who knows about my aching heart is the ever annoying red-head princess that's always around him. If anyone else found out they'd flip their tables - "Wow, I always thought you were trying to hit on Daisy all the time, I thought you said you were too busy to date, I thought you were too good to be in love, homosexuality is wrong!"
Well, I asked the rain with squinted eyes, maybe I was looking elsewhere for what I thought I wanted. I had looked for ages before I finally came to terms with it - he had what I wanted, and I wanted him. He had what I needed, and I needed him. I was incomplete without him. And what he has the qualities that either gender could have, so should it matter if I'm in love with him?
Rain has a great way of answering with a heavier downpour, by the way.
I love Luigi.
I can't deny it any longer.
It's not like I've had an attraction to men my entire life, it's just something about him that appeals to me...
...and I have too much pride to admit it.
It's really hard to explain, I'll just say.
People will laugh at me if they know. Daisy did it before she "felt bad."
"Please... help me obtain the ability to say it... To his face... one day soon. I'll say it in any language, crying or sad, if I could just get the courage..." I whispered, hoping this one wish could come true.
But, how would Luigi himself react? I'm so selfish for my own happiness I didn't even consider his.
Does he want Daisy?
Would he share his feelings with me?
And if I did say it, would our interactions be any different?
If that would be the case, then I'd go to sleep every night, dreaming about his blue eyes, ever changing with his mood.
Dark and empty when angered.
Clear and bright when joyful.
Heart wrenchingly watery when sad.
And...just calming to look into any day.
I'd imagine holding his hands, which I always picture his short fingers and thin palm fitting perfectly with my own joints - limb like and bony.
Pretend his voice is singing me to sleep when I awake from disturbing nightmares, vibrating in the air with his somewhat high-low voice still carrying the Italian accent he came here with. A voice that's calm, adorable, heavenly...
...and mentally picturing, feeling, how perfect our lips would fit together, if we dare kiss. My very own chapped, rough lips would be relieved if I could just press them against his smooth, silky ones (and for a man, his are a tad too pink, in my opinion.)
But I can only wish.
Wishing that what I want more than anything in the world would somehow find its way through the raindrops to a miracle worker.
Until then, I'm content to sit on this hill, drenched, and crying for myself.
I'll never be able to tell him, I think.
I'll always be too chicken, too proud, to admit I love the little idiot.
And with the way I've treated him, I highly doubt that I'll have a chance.
I lean back into the grass, closing my eyes as raindrops began to bite my face, more than likely going to sleep out here tonight.
"Luigi," whispering so I can barely hear it, "Ti amo. Je t'aime. I love you."
I picture pressing my lips to his...
...and I actually feel like I'm kissing him...
...embracing his warm body...
...the embrace felt too real to be fake...
...and hearing those same words repeated...
"I love you, Waluigi..."
And that moment felt so real, it was as if he were right there on the hill, with me.
**Voglio baci veri - I want a real kiss, thanks to LuigixPeach for correcting me.
Ti Amo - I love you. With me and my dumb Italian I remember that very well.
Je t'aime - I love you, in French. FRENCH!
So, I hope you enjoyed this sad little drabble that I'm publishing in the middle of school during seminar. I wrote this last night at 11:30, and that's my prime story writing time.
Reviews on improvement would be nice, and anything else but hatin' WalGi comments. If you don't like it, leave it alone. Simple as that.
Call me sick, call me insane, just don't call me crazy, because I'm Crazee Canadia.