"Visions in my mind of the day that we met, You showed me things that I'll
79 days before.
It was long past midnight now, hours since I'd sent Jarrett and Mia back to bed. That poor girl had been beyond shocked, and I wasn't very happy with myself for being the one to do that to her. She had a right to know though, she was living with us. She didn't even know what her father and mother did. I knew she'd heard Ren and I arguing. It had only been a matter of time before she went searching for answers like she did tonight.
Ren. Thinking about my situation with him made my chest start to physically hurt. What had gone wrong with us? We'd been perfect, absolutely perfect. Until he found out about the letter I'd gotten from Nicole and how I'd written back. I knew he'd be angry, but I didn't think he'd be that angry.
I was sitting at his desk right, my knees pulled up to my chest. I had my arms wrapped around my knees and I was staring at the only picture Ren had on his desk. It was the picture from Blaise and Arson's wedding. While we were still at the Academy, I'd had the picture in my bedroom. When we'd moved here it had mysteriously disappeared, and I hadn't known where it went for months. Until I actually took the time to come in here and see the room, and I saw the picture.
I missed being with Ren a whole lot. The day after Mia moved here, he found the letter. We'd fought about it while the kids showed Mia around town, and I'd been staying in Logan's room ever since. I'd been avoiding being around him as much as possible, not wanting him to find more ways to yell at me. Whenever he did though, he shot insults at me about the things I was always insecure about.
Now I don't blame Nicole for leaving.
Why weren't you watching Jace when he got attacked?
Jace got hurt because you weren't there!
You're such a fantastic mother, Em. You know that?
You went behind my back, and talked to the woman who attacked our son! What kind of wife and mother does that?
How can you call yourself an alpha, you don't even patrol anymore?
Jarrett is your fault, you turned him into this.
Some of them rang through my mind, and they brought tears to my eyes. Why? I could never do anything like that to him, there wasn't a bone of anger in my body towards him.
But it hurt. God, it hurt. It hurt, and there was nothing I could do to change his mind. Ren had decided I was against him, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. It was like losing him all over again, just like all those years ago. This time, I knew he wasn't going to come running after me to tell me he loves me. I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear someone else enter the Office.
"Embry, what're you doing? It's three in the morning." I turned my head to look at him, Ren was leaning against the door. His hair was messy, and he had on grey pants and a long sleeve black shirt on.
"I couldn't sleep." I said quietly, I tensed. I was trying to mentally prepare myself with what he was going to come up with next.
Instead of saying anything, he brought the other chair over and sat next to me. I liked the silence, but I needed to tell him what I'd just done. Just so he could get his anger out at me right now. So I could deal with it and hide it from the children.
"I told her, Ren. I told her everything." I whispered. He instantly tensed, and I waited for the harsh words. None came though, he just let out a sigh.
"It was only a matter of time before one of us would of had too." His voice sounded strained, and I knew that meant he wanted to say something else.
"Just say it, Ren. Tell me how much of a horrible person I am, and how this just screwed everything else up more. That I should have just told her to go to bed, and that I shouldn't have told her." I said, waiting for it. I was so used to it, I just wanted him to get it over with. Instead, he picked the picture up off of his desk.
"That was a crazy day." He said softly, and I looked at it as well.
"What, the part where I ruined the wedding or how Brenton threatened you repeatedly?" The memory brought a smile to my lips.
"Nah, I was talking about what happened after that." Ren said, there was a cocky tone to his voice.
"What are you-oh." I said. It took me a moment to remember what he was talking about, but when I remembered a blush found its way across my cheeks.
"You still blush about that?" He asked, smirking at me.
"Of course I do. It's not exactly something I'm never not going to blush about. It was..." I was trying to think of a word.
"Perfect." He finished for me. I smiled, nodding.
"Yes. It was perfect."
"What's happened to us, Em? Why aren't we like that anymore?" Ren sounded pained, and I grimaced.
"I don't know. Things have changed Ren, and I don't like it." I said, taking the picture from him.
"I miss you, Embry. I hate sleeping alone, not being able to wrap my arms around you." Ren sounded miserable.
"Ren, after those things you said, I just-"
"I know. I was an idiot, and I'm the one the screwed up this time. Not you, like you used to think you did everytime we fought." Ren said, that small smile appearing on his face. The silver in his eyes flickered, and I almost couldn't breathe.
"How about we just start over? Forget it all?" I looked at him in hope, I just wanted this behind me.
"Embry, I don't want you to just think that me saying that is o-"
"I don't. Believe me, I'm going to hold this against you forever. But I miss you, and I miss my bed." I said, and Ren smiled.
"Then let's start over." He whispered, leaning close to me. His hand trailed up my arm to rest on the back of my neck. Pulling me closer, his lips met mine. God, I missed kissing him. There are just some things you'll never get used to when you're with someone, and I will never get used to Ren's kisses. They ranged to many different things, and you never knew which one you would get.
"Mmmmm, I missed that." I said, and Ren laughed as he pulled away. I saw something peeking out from under his sleeve, and I pulled his sleeve up a bit. Tied around his wrist was a frayed, and distressed looking red bandana. I remembered it well, "You still wear this?"
"Of course I do. That day isn't one I'm ever going to forget. Come on, I have a surprise for you." He said, standing up. He held my hand and pulled me from the room. He dragged me toward the living room, he pushed me onto the couch. Then he disappeared out of the room for a moment, and when he returned he was carrying a box in his hands. He set it down next to the TV, and he scrunched his nose when dust floated around him. I couldn't help the small laugh.
"So are you going to tell me what those are?" I asked, as he turned on the tv, and the DVD player.
"Home videos!Well, home DVDs. Some of these babies are from the Academy! I found them the other day and I've been wanting to watch them since that!" Ren said, grinning as he rummaged through them.
"Can we watch them too?" A small voice said from the doorway, I looked over my shoulder to see who it was. Ren looked up at the same time.
Jace, Ree, Derek, and Logan were standing huddled together in the doorway. They looked wide awake, and not tired like they should be. I frowned for a moment, how long had they been awake? I'd put Logan to be around nine. Ree had gone to bed around eleven, and Jace even before that. Derek was alseep soon after Logan. I looked at Ren, raising an eyebrow.
"Of course you can. You should enjoy these. They were back when Mom and I could actually have fun." Ren said, winking at me. I felt my eyes widen.
"Ren, if there is a video from your twenty first birthday in that box, it better stay there." I said, giving him a warning look. Jace seemed to pick up on this. He gave Ren and I a mischevious smile.
"What's on your twenty first birthday tape?" Jace asked, and Ren grinned. He ignored my evil glare.
"Your mom put on one hell of a show." Ren said, then went back to sorting through the box. He picked up one he seemed to like, the case that held the DVD was labeled: 'Em's Beachy Day'. I recalled that day with a grin. It was only a couple weeks after Ren and I got married. Only a week before I found out I was pregnant with Jace. Ren slipped it into the DVD player and then he dove at me. He landed on me, causing me to grunt, and he grinned, cuddling up to me. I ignored him and watched the screen. Jace turned the lights down, and our three children spread out on the couch.
The video opened with a bunch of us in the car. Ren was recording, and I was sitting between Cassie and Flame. When Ren told us to pose for the camera all three of us did the duck face and a peace sign at the same exact moment. Everyone's laughter tang through the car. Arson was driving. Tyson and Cosette were cuddling and ignoring all of us. Blaise was sitting in the passenger seat next to Arson. She kept texting Adne, who was watching Jesse, to make sure he was okay. Calla was in the other car behind us with the rest of her pack.
"Mom, you were such a teenager." Ree said, laughing.
"I was only eighteen in here! I was a month pregnant with Jace, actually." I said, and Ren cracked a grin.
"I couldn't keep your mother off of me." He said, and Ree and Jace burst into laughter. Derek looked confused, thank God.
"Renier!" I screeched, glaring at him. He smiled sheepishly and kissed my cheek. I rolled my eyes and ignored him.
Ren was still recording, and we were all getting out of the car. Ren showed Calla's pack already splashing around in the water. Tyson and Cosette yelled and ran to join them. Cosette took the shirt she was wearing off first, revealing her light blue bathing suit. Blaise and Arson went more slowly, hand in hand. Blaise hadn't worn anything over her bathing suit. Flame and Cassie switched forms and howled, running into the water. I held back, wallong with Ren. He turned to camera back to me, and I scrunched my face up and turned away.
"Strike a pose, Em!" Ren laughed. So I did. I had put one hand behind my head, and the other on my hip. Ren wolf whistled, causing me to burst into laughter. "Babe, can I pretty please see your new bikini that I know you're wearing?" He had asked. I shook my head, frowning.
"I look fat! I've been gaining weight and I've no idea why!" I said, the wind ruffling my hair.
"Well, maybe if you take that damn t-shirt off, I could tell you." Ren said, and I had sighed. I took of the t-shirt and turned away, heading toward the water. "Wait! Come back! I wasn't done with you!"
I turned around and winked at him, "What are you gonna do about it wolf boy?" Ren had laughed, set the camera down and ran after me. You could see him pick me up and spin me around. I laughed when he set me down, then he came back and picked the camera up. He grinned into it.
"Well, I'm going to show my wife just why she should listen to me! Bye." With that, he turned the camera off.
The next video was of us bringing Jace home for the first time. Flame had been recording, and everyone had been waiting for us. Even everyone in Calla's pack. They all whispet cheered when we came in. I looked like shit, my hair was in a messy bun, and I was wearing sweats. My face was glowing though, and Ren came in behind me carrying the car seat containing baby Jace. Ren's eyes were twinkling and his face was glowing. After Ren handed Jace to Nicole first, he made me sit down on the couch and rest. Flame recorded everyone holding Jace for the first time. Ren recorded when Flame held him, and Flame had tears in her eyes.
"We always thought it would be Cole. But I'm glad it's you Ren." She said softly. Ren gave a soft sound, but didn't say anything.
The next DVDs were of all the childrens births. Ree's video had been the scariest, because she'd been so early. Everyone had barely let themselves hold her in fear.
This was my family. It was always going to be my family.