here is our gloriously fluffy ending.

im going to miss this fanfic and each and every one of you guys. even though most of you rarely do not review. come on review for this last bit for me, pleaaaaase? okay. i should be begging for feedback at the end.

Chapter 48

The First Real Time

"Sebastian, I've come to believe that the only person you can fall in love with is yourself."

"…is it because I keep looking at myself in the mirror?"

"…no, it's because you wrote 'The Best Hook-Up Ever' on my contact list for your number."

"Well, am I not?"

"Sebastian, I was thinking and…"

"Great God, Hummel, whenever you think, this usually ends up with you threatening to chop off my head."


"My other head."

"Sebastian, can you not make a sexual reference for one goddamned minute?"

"Can you change that nasally voice of yours for one goddamned second?"

"This is my natural voice."

"Well, sex is my natural habitat. I can't live without sex. Or food. Oxygen I can exempt. Considering with how much I pant during sex…embarrassingly enough."

"Oh God, that's sexy."

"See, Hummel? You appreciate my sex references…moan, Hummel, moan."

"…and you can appreciate my nasally voice as well."


"Sebastian, do you know what we've become?"

"…is it Batman and Robin?"

"No! We've…we've become a couple. Why didn't I see it before! Sex, the dates, you moving in with me, the fact that you haven't slept with anyone since I was here…we've become a couple, Sebastian."

"…took you long enough to figure it out."


"Hummel, I've got an above average IQ and a 3.8 GPA. Don't you think I knew we were a couple? I was playing a great game. Thank Benedict Cumberbatch for it."

"…you bastard. You disgusting, horrible bastard."


"I love you."

"Hummel, I said we were a couple. No need to bust out Tiffany's yet."

"But I had it shined."

"There will be no wedding."

"Somewhere, your Mother is crying."

"Hummel, just shut up and fuck me."

"You don't have to tell me twice…"

"I changed our relationship status on Facebook, Hummel. Trent started crying. David thought I was high on all sorts of drugs and Blaine just liked our status."

"My ex-boyfriend liked the status about you and I getting together?"

"No, the cat."

"…great goodness, that cat is strange."

"Wait. Before we have sex, Hummel…"

"Sebastian, are you putting a candle? That smells like vanilla?"

"Don't give me that damned look."

"You…you did a romantic gesture. Just a millisecond ago."

"Great God. Don't make me break up with you."

"…tell me you love me."

"Hummel, this is why I'm never in a relationship. People are so needy."

-After sex-

"Sebastian, that was the sweetest sex you've ever given it to me. I might even call it making love."

"Nobody ever gets to know of this."

"As long as I cease to wear underwear, nobody will ever know."


"Yes, Sebastian?"

"…I love you."

also put up this new semi-sequel to this called The First, Second and Forty-Eighth Diet in which Kurt fatally attempts to lose weight and Sebastian is just...well, he's being Sebastian. :) same dialogue-based thing, same banter. everything is the same. it's just because i like writing these and people like writing them. so check them out if you want xo

so yeah give me feedback you whores i mean lovely angels because.

xo Peanut Butter/Sam