Herro there ;D First story time? I think so(: Anyway, I read so much spamano fanfics, I just decided to try it myself. Story writing's fun, especially from Lovi's-


Me: AHHH I'M SORRY! DON'T KILL ME DX *hides in fangirl corner of shame*

Anyone wanna count how many times he says bastard? XD

Anyhoo~ I don't own Hetalia or any of the characters, blah blah blah. You know the drill.

**WARNING- YAOI (BOYXBOY)** Don't like, don't read.

(Human names used)

Rated M for Lovino's *cough*isaiditright*cough* cursing and possible later chapters. This chapter and the next few aren't gonna be lemon-flavored though (I like a bit of plot before I get there) But just warning ya, the first chapter's gonna be pretty fluffy ^w^

I'm a spelling/grammar freak, so I try super hard not to make any mistakes! But if you see any that are reaaaaally bad, POINT IT OUT! XD

Please leave reviews and make me a happy camper!(:





"Don't call me that, bastard!" I sighed. This over-friendly Spanish idiot had been following me all day, and I couldn't figure out why for the life of me. What a fantastic start to my freshman year.

"Come eat lunch with me!" The bastard grabs my arm and begins to tow me toward the cafeteria. "You can meet my friends Gilbert and Francis!"

"Hell no! I'm eating lunch with Matthew." I try to yank my arm away from him, but damn, that bastard is strong. But much to my surprise, as we enter (more like as he pulls me) into the cafeteria, I catch sight of Matthew sitting with three perverted bastards who look just like the bastard's kind of friends. Sure enough, a chorus of "Antonio!" rises from the group. Seeing as I have no choice now, I take a seat next to Matthew, attempting to distance myself from said bastard as much as I can.

"Hi, Lovino," greets Matthew quietly.

"Why are you sitting with these idiots?" I ask harshly, already pissed off for the thousandth time today.

"This is my friend Gilbert, and he asked me to sit with him," Matthew announces, gesturing slightly to the albino sitting next to him.

"Because I'm AWESOME!" Gilbert proclaims, "And so is Mattie." Matthew ducks his head a bit and blushes slightly. "Mattie's" crush on Gilbert is so obvious that it's all I can do to keep from groaning and facepalming myself.

Antonio, done his greetings with who I assume to be Francis and some other guy who (unfortunately) resembles Gilbert quite a bit, takes a seat next to me, earning an annoyed groan. "Lovi! This is my friend Francis, and this is Gilbert's little brother Ludwig!" He announces. "Francis, this is my friend Lovi!~"

"I'm not your friend, bastard!" I snap back at the idiot.

"Onhonhon, is this your new boytoy Antonio?" Francis adds with a heavy French accent.

A bright red blush springs up under my cheeks. I screech at the perverted Frenchman "HELL NO, I'M NOT HIS …BOYTOY!" I have to shudder at using the last word, but I continue to yell at him. "FUCKING FROG!"

Francis just laughs his creepy, perverted laugh. Right at that moment, my younger twin brother, Feliciano decides to sit down next to Ludwig, who I already feel a burning hatred for. "I found you, Luddy!" the little Italian nuzzles his arm with his curl bobbing up and down, cooing "Veee~". The huge German blushes a little bit, clearly a bit uncomfortable, but maybe slightly happy underneath that tough-guy façade.

"You're friends with that potato bastard?" I interrogate, mentioning the potatoes on his lunch tray with my hands.

"Luddy's my friend!~" the idiotic Italian continues to nuzzle his arm while I repeatedly facepalm myself. This day could not get any worse… hopefully.

I reach into my backpack to take out my lunch, only to come up with nothing. How could I possibly forget my lunch on the first day of high school?

"Lovi, you don't have a lunch?" The Spanish bastard asks so sincerely it makes me want to puke.

I reply in a defeated tone, "Don't call me Lovi… and no, I don't."

Antonio takes out his lunch which consists of pretty much entirely tomatoes, which obviously grabs my attention pretty quickly. "Want to share mine?"
I would usually jump at the chance to decline an offer from him, but tomatoes are honestly way too good to pass up, so I just nod, an involuntary blush covering my cheeks.

"Awww, Lovi looks just like a tomato!~" Antonio coos.

"Don't push it, tomato bastard," I snap back half-heartedly. I reach for one of his tomatoes and begin to eat it quickly, not realizing how hungry I am. It tastes amazing, like it's fresh out of the garden, and not like the crappy store-bought ones I've been living on after a certain younger brother went traipsing through my grandpa's garden and killed them all.

"You look so cuuuuute!~" he says as though talking to a pet, and it's seriously starting to piss me off.

In between bites I say with a full mouth, "Shut… up… tomato bastard." I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and turn away from his deep green eyes which are clearly screaming "Awwww!" at me. And quite honestly, I have no idea why he would choose me to make that face at instead of my adorable brother, Feli, but honestly, it's really creeping me out.

Matthew looks at me as though he knows something I don't, so I don't hesitate to ask him, "What?"

"Oh, nothing…" he responds quietly. I'm seriously starting to think that I officially hate everyone.

Feli announces that the bell is going to ring soon, so he wastes no time in grabbing his precious "Luddy" by the hand and leading him out of the cafeteria happily, skipping along in front of the awkward German.

Gilbert does the same, minus the skipping of course, with a bewildered Matthew tagging along behind him. I turn to the Spaniard and say menacingly, "Don't even think about it." Despite the threat, the damn bastard takes me by the hand and leads me, steam coming out of my ears, out of the cafeteria, with Francis laughing his creepy, perverted laugh the whole way. I screech at him, "How do you even know if we have the same class together?"

"Because I read your schedule when you went to the bathroom," he admits happily.



"Welcome to gym class," announces the teacher in a monotone voice once all of the students have arrived.

"YES!" yells a typical all-American idiot with blonde hair, blue eyes, and glasses.

"Alfred, will you please be quiet?" says a smaller blonde with green eyes and a strong British accent, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry Arthur…" the taller blonde says remorsefully, before snapping back into his obnoxious, happy self.

"…As I was saying. Since you do not have uniforms yet, I'll just be giving you a tour of the gym," says the teacher in his monotone voice, which is beginning to get on my nerves.

A collective groan rises from the students, me included. Sounds like this will be a fun period, especially when that Spanish bastard comes back from the bathroom (hopefully not any time soon).


Too late. I sigh and turn around to be greeted by an overwhelming hug that knocks the breath out of my lungs. I say into his chest, my voice muffled, "Get off me, you tomato bastard."

"Heh, sorry Lovi," the bastard apologizes and releases me. I take a huge gulp of air, my lungs thanking me for the oxygen.

The teacher, who is beginning to get seriously pissed now, just decides to ignore us and leads the rest of the class toward the weight room, declaring that that's where we will spend one day of every cycle. The class reluctantly follows, peering into the weight room, which is stocked with expensive but worn down equipment that will most likely be broken by some unfortunate idiot during the course of the year. The teacher enters, and beckons for us to follow.

A weight falls from off the rack, making a quiet, little Japanese boy jump five feet in the air. "Heracles-san, I don't like the weight room!" he squeaks.

The older boy with long brown hair he was talking to responds in a tired voice "It's okay, Kiku. I won't let the weights hurt you."

Kiku responds by nodding, a slight flush growing in his pale cheeks. It almost seems like that one outburst from him is going to be the most excitement we'll ever see from him, because he goes back to being totally silent, walking next to the taller boy who's name seems to be Heracles.

Somehow, it's escaped my notice until now, but the Spaniard has his fucking arm around me like I'm his little "boytoy" as Francis put it. Seething, I whisper harshly, "Get off me, idiot."

The bastard just laughs good-naturedly and removes his arm from my shoulder. Why doesn't he get the hint? I clearly don't want to be around the guy. I just shake it off for the time being and walk with the rest of the class to the pool. A creepy guy named Ivan with grey blonde hair and violet eyes stands there, smiling at me in this terrifying way. Next to him is a girl who is pretty, but equally as menacing named Natalia, and another, more kindly looking girl with boobs that could poke an eye out, whose name is Katyusha. I turn around to get the hell away from him and the smaller girl as fast as I possibly can. Unexpectedly, I trip over the creepy Russian's foot, the fake looking blue water of the pool rushing at me.

I squeeze my eyes shut and wait for the splash, but for some reason it doesn't come. Before I can even begin to figure out what happened, I'm being tightly pulled against Antonio's chest. For a few seconds, I'm actually scared to leave his warm arms that are wrapped protectively around me. I even go so far to reach my arms up to hug him back, before I finally realize what just happened.

I push the Spaniard away, and I feel obliged to whisper, "Thanks… bastard." My face heats up to a bright red color all the way up to my ears.

He laughs quietly, "No problem, Lovi!~" Luckily the class was too busy paying attention to the teacher for once, and probably only two or three of the kids witnessed it. Thankfully, the bell decides to ring right then, so I high tail it out of that goddamn gym with a Spanish idiot hot on my trail.

"See you sixth period, Lovi!~" the bastard exclaims.

"You memorized my schedule?" I say disbelievingly. Antonio just laughs and waves to me.

I turn around, just to run straight into Matthew, who has, luckily for me, lost his albino puppy dog.

"Hi, Lovi," he says playfully, smirking at my face, which is starting to get red again. Why do I have to blush like a freaking ginger?

"Shut it, Mattie," I snap right back at him, looking quite menacingly at him, until we both just break down laughing. "Where's the albino loser?"
Matthew flinches at the word loser describing his new friend, but he smiles anyway. "He doesn't have this period with me."

"What do you have this period?" I ask hopefully, not wanting to end up alone in a class with no friends, as that's how I ended up getting bullied last year.

"Geometry…" replies Matthew, also sounding hopeful.

"Me too!" One thing is actually going right for me today, I guess. But suddenly, as Matthew and I walk to our fifth period class, I realize that it feels kind of empty without Antonio tagging along behind me.


Well, that concludes chapter 1! And it might explain the title a bit… oh Lovino, you and your clumsiness. XD

Haha anyway, please leave reviews!

This will most likely be updated this weekend.(:

For those of you who are new to fan-given names of Hetalia characters:

Lovino – Romano

Antonio – Spain

Francis – France

Ludwig – Germany

Gilbert – Prussia

Matthew – Canada

Feliciano – Italy

Alfred – America

Arthur – England

Kiku - Japan

Heracles – Greece

Ivan – Russia

Natalia – Belarus

Katyusha - Ukraine

Until next time,