Readers and fellow writers,
I'm so sorry that I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy with my own books on Amazon (as Autumn Brown if you're interested in any of my published books). I promise to try harder here in the future. I love writing this fan fiction. Please review and let me know if you like this story. You gals and guys make my day when I read a good review, and I really need that right about now. If you've bought any of my books from Amazon, please review there as well. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Thanks so much for reading this story. I hope this chapter isn't too spicy, but hey it is Fifty Shades.
How lucky can a girl get? This is beyond luck. This is 'winning the lottery' luck. I'm married to Christian Grey, a super-hot billionaire who loves me beyond measure. Damn, he's hot. The chemistry between us is spine tingling. I'm randomly remembering little bits and pieces of our life together. I still have a lot more to piece together before I become whole again. I wonder if I'll ever be completely whole. I can't believe I was such an idiot. I actually believed that Jack was my husband. I still don't remember much about the day that he kidnapped me, or about him. But now that I'm home with my amazing husband, I can take my time remembering. Who knows, it might be fun discovering my husband all over again.
"Taylor!" I gasp out the greeting in excitement as Christian and I exit the sex room. What is he doing here?
Taylor is being held up by another guy, and a very attractive woman. He seems to be having some trouble walking, as if he's injured. "Mrs. Grey." He says, in a very matter of fact tone, very unlike our meetings in Mexico. I wonder where the aloofness is coming from.
"Are you OK?" I ask him. The last time I saw him he was helping me escape from Jack. I just ran off and deserted him. I was so upset and so confused.
"I'll be fine." He says. I can tell he's one of those men who never acknowledge pain in public. He'd rather die than look weak.
"Thank you for what you did back in Juarez, Taylor." I pat him on the shoulder.
I notice a glance from the woman next to him. It's obvious that they're together. I smile at her.
"Do you need anything, Mrs. Grey?" she asks me sweetly.
Need anything? I look to Christian, who is still holding tightly to my waist. He answers for me. "No, we can manage, Gail. Take care of Taylor."
Hmm. He's dismissing her. She must work for him, too. I wonder if I knew her before my accident. I watch as the three of them continue their walk down the hall. I look up at Christian. "I should have known their names. Shouldn't I?" I feel beyond rude for not remembering people. Kate was so hurt that I didn't remember her.
"It's OK, Ana. No one expects a miracle here." He pulls me closer, and swooshes me down the hall a little faster. He's anxious to get to the bedroom. I told him that I didn't want my first time to be in the sex room. We'd save that for later. I suddenly feel like a virgin as he opens his bedroom door. I'm more than a little nervous. It's obvious, even to me, that I'm not a virgin, but the feeling is overwhelming. Christian walks toward the bed, pulling me with him. "Do you want to take a bath first?"
I smile uneasily at him, then I nod. Maybe that will help relax this nervousness.
"Wait right here." He says, then makes his way quickly to the next room, which I assume is a bathroom. I hear the water faucet turn on.
I look around the bedroom hoping to see anything that sparks a memory for me. I see our wedding picture on the wall. I see my picture next to the bed on one side, and Christian's picture next to the bed on other side. Cute! I sit down on the bed and try to achieve some level of comfort. Apparently comfort is eluding me. Why do I feel like such a virgin? Jack told me that I was on the opposite end of that spectrum. Jack! It hits me like a ton of bricks. The kidnapping bastard lied to me. I feel even more like an idiot. I feel like a virgin, because I was one. This is where I lost my virginity. Right here, on this bed, with Christian. I look at the bed. I remember. He was perfect. I look up just in time to see him walking back into the bedroom. I smile at him.
He flashes me a panty dropping smile. "What?" he asks innocently, almost boyishly.
"Were you a virgin too?" I ask him.
His face goes totally motionless, then his mouth drops open. "Ummm. No." he says slowly.
I smile at him. I cannot keep a straight face any longer, and I'm about to burst into a serious case of the giggles. "Gotcha!"
He smiles at me, relieved for some reason. He pulls me to a standing position, where he grabs me around my waist and pulls me close to him. "You are incorrigible, Mrs. Grey." His fingers stroke my hair, then he kisses me hard.
I wrap my arms around his neck for support. I'm about to lose all sense of balance. I love this man. I pull my mouth away from his. "You're not going to spank me. Are you?" I tease with him, trying to be funny.
His eyes light up like a Christmas tree with intense sexual desire. A sudden shudder of recognition flows through me. He likes that. He likes spanking me. I can tell by the hungry look in his eyes. All the dreams that I had, were about him. He was the man without a face beating me with some kind of a whip. I press both hands against his chest. I push him away. I'm confused again. So many conflicting feelings are rushing through my veins. I'm sexually excited, but I'm appalled at the same time.
His face floods with worry. "Ana?" he asks softly. He knows something is up.
"You hit me?" I ask him to verify my worst fears. I step away so there's an arm's length between us. I can't bear to touch him right now.
"Never without your permission." He answers quickly.
"My permission?" I ask him incredulously, my voice seemingly raising an octave. "I agreed to be beat with a whip?"
Surely he must be joking. Was he some kind of a sadist? Suddenly, a memory of a voice from my past rings out in my head. "I'm a sadist, Ana. I like to whip little brown-haired girls like you because you all look like the crack whore— my birth mother. I'm sure you can guess why." James, E L (2011-09-13). Fifty Shades Darker: Book Two of the Fifty Shades
"You're a sadist." I whisper, my voice choked. I feel numb inside. Oh my god. He's a sadist. He likes to whip me because I look like his mother. The reality sinks in. I sink into the bed behind me. I can no longer stand. My knees are weak. I look up at Christian who is beside himself. He's crushed, and utterly ashamed of himself. He looks as if he's lost all hope. I simply gaze at him, waiting on him to make the next move. There is silence between us for what seems like an eternity.
"I'm going to take a bath." He says softly. "Can we continue this conversation later?"
I nod unable to give him anything further.
He turns and walks toward the bathroom. Right before he walks through the doorway, he turns around abruptly. "You won't leave again. Will you? Not without telling me at least." He asks. His words cut me to the core. I can feel his pain and it sickens me to know that it's because of me.
I shake my head. "I won't leave." I say softly.
He steps inside the bathroom, and I hear the water shut off. I am alone with my thoughts, my feelings, or lack thereof. I'm still void of feelings, completely empty inside. So many thoughts run through my head, then I hear another voice inside my head. "What did you think he did in the sex room?" she asks me.
I'm shocked at first that I'm hearing voices. Am I delusional? Is this normal? Then it dawns on me. It's normal for me. It's how I've coped all these years. I listen to my inner voice. Then the voice tells me, "He's fucked up, but you love him. Desperately."
I smile. She's right. My inner voice is so right. I do love him. I love him with all my heart. Even thinking about leaving him tears at my soul. I contemplate my dilemma for a minute, then I make my decision. I strip my clothes off completely, and walk into the bathroom. Christian's body is under the bubbles with his head pressed back against the tub. His face is filled with angst, and his eyes are closed tightly.
"Christian?" I almost whisper so I don't startle him.
My bright idea doesn't work. He jerks his head up, and his eyes flash open, clearly startled. "Ana?" he asks, gazing directly into my eyes. Then his eyes drop to see that I'm completely naked standing before him. A smile slowly curves his lips. He holds his hand out for me, inviting me into the tub with him.
I take his hand, and step in the water carefully. I straddle him as I sit on his lap facing him. I am so drawn to him. My body seems to be reacting on its own, as if this is where it belongs. I place both hands on his shoulders, and begin caressing him. I'm all nerve endings with every touch igniting a fire in my stomach. I need to touch him. It's a need greater than any I've ever known. He draws in a slow breath as if I'm hurting him. Then another memory flashes in my mind. He doesn't like to be touched. It's because of the cigarette burn scars on his chest and back. The dots are connecting for me now. It's taken me long enough. I run my hands down his arms feeling his hard muscles, trying to ease his fears. I can feel him loosen up under my touch. He releases a breath slowly, as he runs his hands down my sides slowly, sensually. It's obvious that he's done this a few times before.
I belong with this man. I don't actually remember this, but my body knows it intuitively. We're so in tune with each other. I stare into his intense gray eyes, feeling his love for me. He massages my backside with his hands. It feels so good. Oh my. I can feel his erection underneath me. The skin on skin contact is causing me to melt. My desire for him is constant as he runs his hands up and down my thighs. His thumbs rest at the apex of my thighs, but he doesn't go inside. It's as if he's savoring the moment. I gasp at the sudden feeling of need that I have for this man.
"Oh, Ana. You're always ready for me." He whispers to me. There is a reverence in his voice, and a feeling of déjà vu, a delicious feeling of belonging to this man.
"You've said that to me before." I whisper back to him.
He opens his mouth, and attacks mine, as if he's unable to hold himself back any longer. I open my mouth to allow his entrance. Our tongues are dancing seductively against each other. I can barely catch my breath. I feel his hand wrap around the hair at the nape of my neck, making a ponytail almost. He pulls my hair, tilting my head back so that my throat is exposed to him. I feel so open to him. He nibbles on my neck. "You. Are. Mine. Anastasia." He says, enunciating each word with veneration. Oh, what those words do to me. I melt even further. My hands grope for his erection blindly. I latch on with both hands. I gasp at his size. Oh my. My heart lurches in my chest. How could I have forgotten this? He's so hard, and he wants me. Christian Grey wants me. I have trouble fathoming the reality still.
"Yes. Yours." I exhale the words, barely audible to even myself. "I love you, Christian Grey."
He continues his downward path with his lips, causing my entire body to stiffen. How does anyone relax during a moment like this? I feel his lips lock onto one nipple, as his fingers twist the other nipple, elongating it, and further increasing my desire for him. How much more can I take? I draw in an unsteady breath. Air is becoming harder to find, a rare commodity.
"Breathe, Anastasia." He instructs me as he gently bites on the nipple in his mouth.
Tiny shocks reverberate throughout my entire body. I pull air into my lungs at his beckoning. I stroke him, feeling every inch of him, admiring what I've done to this beautiful man. He flicks my nipple with his tongue, and I feel my body tighten even further. I groan, feeling the sweetness all the way to my groin. I can feel the wetness increasing. Holy hell, this feels so good, so all consuming. I toss my head back in ecstasy. I know that I won't be able to take much more of this delectable assault.
"Let go, baby. I want you to feel this. Remember this feeling." He says, his voice gruff with wanton desire.
And, as if on command, my body convulses and I let go. I shatter into a thousand pieces. He bites my nipple, harder this time, causing the overwhelming sensation to deepen and to intensify. His expert tongue then sucks first one, then the other nipple, while my orgasm declines relieving me slowly.
I look at him. His beautiful face is filled with smug satisfaction as if saying, "I told you so."
I plant a chaste kiss on his lips. "That was awesome, Mr. Grey."
He smiles a boyish grin. "Oh, we're back to formalities. Are we, Mrs. Grey?"
I continue groping his still hard as nails erection lazily, tantalizingly. Feeling more at ease, I brave a look down at him. Oh my. His smile immediately turns to one of pride. I look up at him through my eyelashes coyly. "There's something I've wanted to do to you since the first day you stood up behind your desk at Dr. Flynn's office." I whisper to him, trying desperately to sustain my nerve.
"I'm yours, Ana. Do with me what you will." He says, locking his hands behind his neck giving me full access to his body.
"I like the sound of that, Mr. Grey." I push myself back further, putting some distance between us. I bend over and kiss his stomach gently. I can feel him stiffen at my touch. I wonder how he has sex if he doesn't like to be touched. I lighten up my kisses and I kiss a trail down toward his erection slowly, probably torturing myself more than him. I hear a groan escape his lips just as I touch his erection with my lips. I know that I'm affecting him and I relish in that thought.
"Oh, Ana." He says with my name, almost like a prayer.
I bow my head further down, dunking my head under the water, as I take him into my mouth completely.
"Christ," he groans making me feel powerful beyond words.
I move down as I push him into my mouth further. I fuck him with my mouth, then pull my head up for air. I feel Christian release the drain plug. I go back down on him, twirling my tongue around the tip. I can feel him flexing his hips toward me, so he is further inside my mouth. He wants more. I push further down, and suck hard, taking him as deeply as I possibly can. I twirl my tongue around his tip again, and breathe. The water level is lowering so I don't have to release him. I open my mouth wider, and go all the way down on him. I hear him gasp and yell out my name. I had no idea that I could bring him so much pleasure. The power that I have just discovered is intoxicating.
"Ana, you're going to unman me." He begs. What is he asking for? More, or less? I'm not sure, but I don't want to stop. I love pleasuring him.
I rake my teeth along his length, causing him to come undone. I still myself as he finds his release. I swallow quickly, unsure if I'm completely onboard with this part or not. Was I in the past? I pull my mouth away from him, and look up at him. I climb back onto his lap and kiss him on the lips.
"That was amazing, Ana. I'm so glad you didn't forget how to do that." He chuckles.
"You are incorrigible, Mr. Grey." I say, laughing out the words. They sound familiar to me.
"You have no idea." He teases with me.
"Oh, I think I'm getting the general gist of things." I tease him, as I slide my finger along his lip seductively. Why does his lip look so delicious still?
"Mmm." He hums, as he pulls my finger into his mouth and sucks seductively. "I hope you don't think we're finished. We've only just begun this match, Mrs. Grey."
My heart jumps. What is he talking about? Don't men have to wait several minutes before going again? Another memory jolts into my consciousness. This man can play for hours. He's very skilled at sex. Oh, I feel like the luckiest girl alive at the moment.
The water has disappeared from the tub. My curiosity is peaked to the max. "Shall we go back to bed?" I ask him, knowing he has something in mind.
He nods eagerly with a boyish grin. "That's where I want to take you for our first time back together."
My sex is pounding in anticipation. I step up off of him and step out of the tub. He steps up and grabs two towels from the rack. They're monogrammed with our names. He dries me off, and then spanks my butt. It's not a hard spank, but I feel it. I look around at him. "You did not just spank me." I taunt him.
"Oh, yes I did, Anastasia. What are you going to do about it?" he says playfully and lets his towel drop the floor, showing me his impressive erection. Holy cow! How did he do that? He unlatches my towel and lets it fall to the floor. He picks me up in his arms, and carries me to the bedroom, where he gently lies me on the bed. He climbs over me and settles on the other side of my body. He rolls toward me and kisses me seductively on the neck.
My knees go weak in anticipation of what's coming next. I want more. My body is hypersensitive, thanks to the hot bath that has brought every one of my nerve endings to the surface. I crave his touch even more than before. I want his hands on me. I want his mouth on me. Judging by the look on his face, he knows that fact and he's taunting me with it. He places gentle seductive kisses down my neck toward my breasts. He runs his hot tongue between my breasts, barely touching me with it, but lighting my skin on fire. How does he do that? I'm on fire, and he's barely touching me. He continues his downward path until his tongue dips into my belly button. Oh my, that's hot. I draw in a quick breath. He swirls his tongue inside my belly button. Who knew that could feel so good? Well, he did obviously. I press my legs together, locking my ankles. I must not release, I chant to myself repeatedly. I want to hold off until he has thoroughly devoured me.
"Oh Christian, please." I beg him. I hear my voice, but it doesn't sound like my own. It sounds more like it belongs to a sex goddess. I'm floored for a second, taken off guard.
"Please what?" he asks me, taunting me, teasing me. He knows he has the upper hand here.
"I want you." I tell him, again my voice unknown to me. I sound more gruff, more needy than before. How much can a girl want a guy before she spontaneously bursts into flames? I'm about to find out.
"What part of me, Ana? I want to hear it." He says firmly, but in a whisper, then circles my belly button with his tongue again.
"All of you, Christian. I want it all." I cry to him.
I feel him push my legs apart with some effort. In all the sexual excitement and confusion, I'd forgotten that I had my ankles locked together for dear life. Christian chuckles as he stands to his knees and positions himself between my legs. "Which part first, Anastasia? My tongue, or this?" he grabs his erection with pride.
Oh my. I think it's even bigger now. I gaze at it. Do I dare tell him what I really want? Would he hesitate? I doubt it. A voice inside me screams out. "Tell him. Tell him now." I collect my nerve, and whisper, "Your tongue. Please, Christian. I want to feel your tongue against me."
He smiles smugly, obviously happy with my answer. He immediately complies by bending over and lying on his stomach, pressing his face right against my sex. I am hot beyond words, about to explode, as he rubs his tongue all around my clitoris. He's massaging me with his tongue, then he French kisses just the tip. My body quivers, but I fight the urge to completely succumb to it. I want this to last so much longer. I feel his fingers enter me and they are almost the end to my resolve. I involuntarily spread my legs even further to allow him deeper access. He lifts his head, as he looks in my face. He smiles. "Not yet, Ana." He commands me. "I have more in store for you, baby."
I drag in a ragged breath, steadying myself, hoping I can delay my orgasm for a few more minutes. I am on fire, lost in a sea of lust and desire for this man. He spreads his fingers inside me, and it feels so wonderful, so amazing. He bends his fingers, and touches me deeper inside, and caresses parts of me that I didn't even know existed, or didn't remember. I am simply a ball of sexual need, longing for his touch. He must have performed this magic on me before. I feel his tongue begin its dance on my clitoris, as his fingers strum inside me. He fingers are moving rhythmically inside me and driving me insane, building my desire to a new level.
"Come for me, baby." He says.
His words are my undoing once again. My body convulses and spasms in sweet relief, as my orgasm grasps me, squeezing my insides then releasing me. I scream out his name over and over as I once again ride the waves spiraling through my body. The force of my climax renders me useless. I collapse my legs, unable to hold them up any longer. I am completely satisfied and feel warm inside. He withdraws his fingers slowly, then thrusts his tongue inside to take their place. His tongue is relentless in its quest.
"Oh, Ana. I've missed this sweet taste." He says softly, then he stands to his knees and very slowly enters me. He starts to move, triggering more memories of mind blowing sex in this bed. He is hard and gentle at the same time. He begins to move faster, thrusting into me over and over until I am on fire again. Once again, I am on the edge about to fall. It scares me that this man can bring me to this point so many times. I whimper.
"One more time, Ana. I know you're close." He whispers harshly, causing me to explode around him. He thrusts inside one more time, then groans as he reaches his climax. He stills on top of me, his body rigid for a few seconds. He collapses on top of me. I know in this moment that I would die for this man, as he would for me. Tears fill my eyes. I am overwhelmed with the knowledge that this man is mine, and I am his.
"Are you okay?" he asks me as he withdraws himself and positions himself beside me. He presses his nose into my hair, and kisses me on the cheek.
I nod my head, unable to form this feeling into words. I feel complete, whole, like I belong here in this bed, with this man. I feel like I'm home. "I love you." I finally manage to say to him, with emotion pouring out of me.
I can feel his contented smile against my cheek. "I love you too, Anastasia."
He wraps his body around mine like a vine, and we fade off into a deep sleep. I feel nothing but exhaustion, and complete bliss.
That's it for this chapter. Please review and let me know how you like it. There will be more in a few weeks. I'll have to think of where I'd like to go next. Ana needs to regain her memory about Kate, and her job, and Jose, and Elena, sex in the play room, and then we have the baby in a few months. Hmm. Which way to go. Any ideas or anything special you'd like to see? I'm open to suggestions.