Guard dog

I don't know, okay? My friend and I got collars yesterday and then I thought of this cause it was so fricking hilarious and there isn't enough ZelImpa out there. -.-

So...enjoy!

I don't own LoZ. :/

Read and review please. :3


Zelda finished carving the last letter into the strip of metal and held it up with an evil grin.

"Oh, Impa's gonna love this!" she said before chuckling wickedly.


Her Grace has locked herself in her room for the past few days. I wonder why.

Impa was in her room, meditating with her back to the open door; no one dared to pass the threshold into her room for fear of losing a body part.

Link and Ghirahim were currently outside training though normally their training turned into something else if they were left to their own devices for too long.

And Zelda had secured herself in her room for the past few days for unknown reasons, only coming out to eat and even then she would stare at Impa with a very innocent smile that caused the Sheikah to wonder what she was thinking.

Perhaps I should check up on her…Impa mused, so deep in her thoughts that she didn't even sense someone slowly walking toward her.

"Gotcha!" a voice yelled as something was clasped around Impa's neck.

Slightly surprised, Impa turned to look at Zelda who was staring at her triumphantly.

"Your Grace?"

"I was right!" Zelda giggled. "You look absolutely adorable in it!"

Puzzled, Impa felt her neck, her fingers touching something an inch or so wide and smooth with a piece of metal attached to the front.

The Sheikah began pulling on the item in an attempt to pull it off while Zelda watched her struggling in amusement.

"Your Grace, take this off immediately!"

"Nope!" Zelda chirped with a shake of her head.

With a frustrated growl, Impa continued trying to take off the object latched around her throat.

"Hey, dog—" Ghirahim paused at the threshold, staring at Impa who froze and stared at him before instantly covering the item around her neck so he couldn't see it.

The demon came a bit closer to the Sheikah, a grin on his face.

"Was that a collar I saw?"

When Zelda gave a nod at Ghirahim, the sword's grin widened as he also noticed the piece of metal on the front of the swirled black and purple strip of string.

"Aww, it's even got a nameplate! How adorable!"

Impa growled at the demon, still struggling to break the collar only to gasp when Ghirahim turned and ran out of the room, yelling, "Link, Link, you have to come see this!"

The tips of Impa's ears turned red in embarrassment and she began trying to claw off the collar at a faster pace.

It was bad enough the demon had to see the collar Zelda had put on her, but the hero would lose all the respect he had for the Sheikah.

"Don't even bother," Zelda said as she tied a piece of rope to the front of the collar. "I sealed it with magic; it's unbreakable."

"Your Grace!" Impa stood up in protest. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"Oh….no reason…." Zelda glanced to the side with a sly grin.

Ghirahim came back with Link and when the blonde hero saw the collar Impa had on he burst into giggles with Ghirahim following suit.

"You're really a dog now, aren't you, dog?" Ghirahim laughed, pointing at Impa.

The Sheikah growled at him and jumped toward the demon only to choke when Zelda pulled back on the rope, jerking Impa away from Ghirahim.

"Be nice," Zelda said and Impa gave an annoyed frown, glaring daggers at the giggling demon lord.

"So what are you gonna do with her?" Link asked as he slowly calmed down but still gave an occasional giggle.

"I'm gonna show her around," Zelda grinned.

"I'll totally teleport you guys wherever you want to go," Ghirahim offered as he raised a hand, still grinning like a maniac.

Impa began plotting slow and painful ways of murdering the demon as Zelda began to tug her toward the door.

As they exited the house, they passed Gorko who gave Zelda and Impa a strange look, but apparently decided that he didn't want to know.

Zelda headed to where Faron normally swam in Floria Waterfall, Impa grudgingly walking behind her with Ghirahim and Link bringing up the rear.

As the group neared the large lake, they easily noticed the large water dragon sailing beneath the surface before rising when she sensed their presence.

A sharp look from Faron and Ghirahim hid behind Link before the dragon turned her attention to Zelda.

"Your Grace," Faron intoned with a slight nod of her head. "What brings you here?"

Zelda held up the rope she held and Faron followed it to see a miserable looking Impa attached to the other end.

"Ah, your guard dog perhaps?"

With a grin, Zelda nodded.

Faron leaned down with a smirk.

"Be gentle with her," the great dragon whispered to the blonde goddess reborn.

"Oh, I will," Zelda chirped, turning and skipping off, dragging Impa with her.

A bare of the dragon's fangs and a slash of her claws sent Ghirahim skittering after Zelda with a yelp, not daring to stay any longer in Faron's presence while Link just smiled at the dragon, bowed slightly, then turned and followed after his boyfriend.


Ghirahim teleported the group to Eldin next so Zelda could go show the fire dragon her new 'dog'.

When Eldin saw the collar around Impa's neck he burst into hysterics, falling back into his pool of lava and kicking his legs as he laughed uncontrollably at a great Sheikah tamed by a collar, a rope, and a young girl.

While Zelda beamed in pride, Impa silently fumed, regretting her choice in coming back with her charge.


Lanaryu was last and he didn't at least laugh at the sight of Impa. He listened politely as Zelda told him that she had been planning this for a while, nodding occasionally to show that he was listening.

As the group turned to leave Lanaryu Gorge, Impa glanced back at the dragon and mouthed, "Help me."

The dragon offered a sympathetic smile, but did nothing to help Impa who scowled and decided to resign herself to her fate.


"You guys go ahead and eat," Zelda said as the group entered the house. "I'm going to go take the collar off Impa."

The smile Zelda gave at the demon and Link offered no solace for the Sheikah as she was lead upstairs by the blonde goddess.

"Have fun little doggie," Ghirahim snickered as he and Link entered the kitchen to grab their dinner.


Zelda released Impa as they entered the blonde's room and Impa began trying to undo the knot that connected the rope to her collar, but Zelda had tied it tight.

While she was trying to disentangle the knot Impa never noticed that Zelda quietly closed the door with a grin.


"It's been a half hour," Link said as he and Ghirahim began to head upstairs. "I wonder what's taking them so long."

"Why don't we go see?" Ghirahim suggested.

The two headed to Zelda's room and Link opened the door, taking a step in.

A half second later he stepped out and shut the door again, a haunted look on his face.

"What?" Ghirahim asked, wondering what had scared his boyfriend.

"Th….they were….and the…."

Not understanding what Link was trying to tell him, the demon pushed Link aside and opened the door, peering into the room to see for himself.

Of course what he saw was not something that he had expected to see.

Impa was tied to the bed by her collar with a piece of rope binding her arms above her head to prevent any struggling.

Zelda was lying on top of the Sheikah, passionately kissing her guardian and drawing small little moans and whimpers from the tall blonde.

The demon gradually closed the door and blinked.

"You know….I think that putting on that collar was an ulterior motive…." he said and Link slowly nodded.

The two stood there for a few more seconds, ignoring the groans coming from within the room beside them, before Ghirahim grabbed Link by the front of his shirt and began dragging the hero toward his room.

"Come on….I think I want to make a collar for you."


Kinky collar time~! *Stupid grin* Yeah...never let Zelda make a collar...it could end badly. :3

So, I hope you enjoyed. XD

Please read and review. :)