DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. Actually, I just don't own anything - none of the songs or tv shows mentioned in this fic. There we go.
Not Like This
Warning: This story contains harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia. THIS IS A SEASON 4 AU!
A/N: This chapter takes place a few days AFTER Chapter 9!
"A non-fat mocha for Kurt!"
The barista smiled when Kurt stepped forward and claimed his cup of coffee; she was one of the regular workers, one that Kurt and Blaine had gotten to know quite well over their year or so of getting coffee at the Bean and no matter what, she always served them with a smile. Which was what she was doing now and the fact that her smile was genuine – not forced like the many Kurt had been on the receiving end of these last few weeks – was a breath of fresh air. Ever since he had landed in Ohio a few weeks ago, everyone had been walking on egg shells around him, as if he was two seconds away from shattering completely.
But he wasn't. Sure his body was numb and his heart ached over the fact that the person he loved the most was fighting for his life in a Westerville hospital, but no matter what, Kurt was going to be okay.
Or at least that's what he kept on telling himself.
That's what his father and Carole and Finn and everyone else said. That's what Blaine's mother and Cooper and the workers at the hospital told him.
Everything was going to be okay. Blaine would wake up eventually and everything would be just fine.
Kurt just had to keep reminding himself of that every single morning when he woke up to the news that Blaine was still unconscious. But, it was going to be alright... because it just had to be.
"Thank you," Kurt said softly, taking the coffee from the barista with a small, wooden smile. He blinked in confusion when a tiny plate of biscotti was slid in front of him, the barista nodding as she pushed the plate forward.
"It's on the house. Cherry-vanilla-pistachio biscotti. Something new we just started baking."
"I can't take-"
"No please," the barista insisted, stepping away from Kurt and the fore-offered dessert. "You and Blaine are probably the only people who really love our biscotti and since this is a new recipe, I'd be honored if you were the first to try it. I know that you haven't really been eating it much since-" She paused and swallowed thickly, "I just think Blaine would be so excited to try this new flavor and I thought that you'd like to have it so that you can tell him about it when he wakes up. And if you like it, I'll give you some to take to him when he does."
Kurt almost wanted to scream, wanted to yell at the girl for even talking about Blaine like that, like she knew what was going on. But the thing was, she did. Everyone knew about Blaine now. It was all over the news that a teenage boy had been attacked outside of Westerville and that it was being considered a hate crime. It was everywhere that the boy was a friend of Kurt's and therefore a friend of Congressman Burt Hummel and that had caused a peak in publicity. There were people everywhere wanting to get a story and for the first few weeks after the attack, Kurt and the Andersons had to keep their guard up over people wanting to interview them. Kurt himself was lucky that his dad had taken over fighting off the news crews and keeping the press from hounding him. Burt did his best to temper the situation and after about a week of no change with Blaine nor without any leads on his case, the media died down and things got calmer.
Everyone was also glad that the story didn't go national, though it was a severe possibility in the near future with the rate everyone in Lima was acting.
People stared at Kurt as he took the plate of biscotti and smiled at the barista. The girl returned his smile and Kurt went to sit at his normal table, plopping down in his seat with a huff. Everyone's eyes were still on him, but he ignored the looks and popped the lid off of his coffee, carefully dunking a cookie into his drink as he stared down at his dark-screened cellphone. Cooper was due to call him any minute to update him on Blaine's condition (most likely the boy was still unconscious) and then they'd probably talk about something random until Mr. Anderson showed back up in the room and Cooper would have to cut their conversation short. That's how every single discussion went: Cooper would call, talk about Blaine, then talk about something he saw on tv until William came in, and then it was bye-bye until Kurt got to the hospital hours later.
It would probably be that way until Blaine woke up too.
Sighing, Kurt lifted his now-softened biscotti out of his coffee and brought it to his lips, almost moaning when the sweet taste of cherries hit his tongue. A hint of vanilla and the nutty taste of pistachio filled his mouth as he chewed and he smiled in ecstasy, almost laughing when he thought of how Blaine's face would contort in pleasure over the yummy taste of these cookies. Chewing quickly, he swallowed and shot a thumbs up to his favorite barista, grinning when she squealed and turned back to tell her co-worker about their success.
His excitement was short lived however when his phone began to buzz. Cooper's face lit up the screen and Kurt's stomach swooped – as it always did nowadays when Cooper called.
This could be it, his mind supplied. Blaine could be waking up... or already awake... or-
"Morning, Kurt. How are things?"
Kurt's heart sunk, "He's not awake, is he?"
"Nope, not today. Sorry, man. I just got here and he's still out like a light."
"I do have good news though!"
"Do tell," Kurt said, sitting up in his seat. He dunked another bit of the cookie and waited with baited breath over Cooper's next few words; Cooper never had good news. Ever.
"The doctor came in earlier and did some tests on Blaine. His brain activity is stronger than it has been these last few days. Like, remember how they said that the longer he was unconscious, the scarier it'd be for us when he wakes up... or if he wakes up?" He waited until Kurt hummed before he continued, "Well, I guess while he was testing Blaine today, Blaine moved a little bit and his brain waves jumped or something. I wasn't really paying very much attention because as soon as he said Blaine moved I just lost my train of thought, but Blaine's getting closer to waking up! I- I just... I'm really excited, Kurt."
"Me too, Cooper. Me too."
"I just wanted to call and let you know. Dad's just getting here, so I'm gonna go and tell him what the doctor said, but I'll give you a call if anything changes, yeah?"
"Yeah, please do." Kurt bid his goodbyes to Cooper and then set his phone down on the table, his heart thudding wildly in his chest as he drummed his fingers on the table. He couldn't believe what he had just heard: Blaine might be waking up soon! It was the news he had been waiting for since the second he stepped off the plane. He just wanted his ex to wake up and be okay, to be able to go back to being the usual, happy-go-lucky Blaine he always was.
But despite how much Kurt wanted that to happen, he knew Blaine would never be the same after this, not after what happened to him.
Nonetheless, no matter what the future held for Blaine (or for the two of them together, for that matter) Kurt knew that he would do his best to make it up to him. He would do his best to right all wrongdoings and if Blaine needed any help whatsoever, he was going to be there to help him out.
He just hoped Blaine wanted him there.
Taking a long drink of his coffee, Kurt was too lost in his thoughts to notice the figure looming over his table, but the second he put his cup down, he jumped. "Oh my God!"
"Oh God!" The person repeated, also jumping. "Jesus, Kurt! I didn't mean to scare you!"
Kurt raised a hand to his chest and breathed in deeply, his poor lungs fighting for some air after he practically choked on his coffee. "No, no! It's fine!" He soothed, standing up from the table. After he finally caught his breath, he looked up at the person who frightened him. "Dave, oh my god, hi! It's been so long!"
The tall, hulking figure of David Karofsky stared back at him, his dark eyes slightly sympathetic and worried. "You okay? I didn't send you flying back into any sort of traumatic flashback, did I?" He asked with bright, scared eyes.
"Oh God, no. I just wasn't expecting anyone," Kurt said, waving a hand towards the empty seat across from him (the one Blaine usually sits at, his mind hissed, but he ignored it.) "You want to sit?"
"Umm, sure. Thanks." Dave took Blaine's usual seat and set down his own cup of coffee, his gaze immediately darting to the table as he settled down. "Sorry for scaring you."
"It's no problem. Lots of things have been scaring me lately."
Dave's face fell. He wrapped his hands around his coffee cup tightly and sighed, "So I heard... umm, how's he doing?"
"He's still in a coma." Kurt whispered, running his finger along the rim of the cup. "His brother just called me about two minutes before you showed up. The doctors say he's probably going to wake up soon, but other than that, nothing else has happened."
"Oh. I, uh- I'm real sorry to hear about what happened. I saw it on the news when I came home for Christmas and I wanted to contact you, but I didn't know if you wanted to talk to anyone yet." Dave looked up and caught Kurt's eye, frowning when he noticed the lost, off look behind the usually expressive blue. "I'm not intruding, am I?"
"No. No, David, you're not."
"Oh. Good, I guess." The former bully laced his fingers together and looked back down at his hands, his lower lip worried between his teeth. "I know you and I have had our differences and that Anderson- Blaine, I mean- have not always gotten along, but we're friends now, right?"
"I thought we were and I'm sure Blaine thought we were all okay now, too."
"That's what I was thinking, but I didn't want to impose or anything... but I- Kurt, I feel really bad about what happened to Blaine, you know? He's a little guy, like small and I know he's strong, but I can't believe people would hate someone so much to attack them like that."
Kurt stared into his coffee and fought back the tears and brimmed on his lashes. He could feel the fear emanating from Dave and out of the corner of his eye, he could see his friend's hands tremble from their place on the table. "Some people are true monsters. You know that just as much as I do." The meaning behind that statement was not lost on either of them; memories of last year and Dave's suicide attempt weighed fresh on their minds. Flashbacks of the hate that had been left on Dave's Facebook wall, unwanted memories of the awful things that were said in the hallways of McKinley and all over town about Dave's attempt were burned into their brains forever.
Dave nodded slowly and shrank back when Kurt's hand reached out and took his own, "I just wish this never happened."
"I know. I wish the same thing."
"I just remember you bringing Blaine in to visit me that one day and how he told me about how this same thing happened to him when he was really young and I can't help but think about how he's having to go through it all over again. He's still in high school because of what those people did and now he's missing out on his senior year because some other assholes didn't like the fact that he's gay."
Kurt just shook his head and listened, squeezing Dave's shaking hand between them.
"Blaine and I really hadn't had much to go on before, but that day, I really began to respect him and from what he said, he felt the same way about me. And now he's in the hospital and there's nothing I can do for him and I feel bad, Kurt. I do. I feel bad because I can't help him and I can't help you and ever since I saw that story about him on the news the other day, all I can think about is that shit that happened to me and how it made me feel."
"You've been triggered," Kurt said softly. Dave nodded and Kurt tightened his grip again. "It's hard, being in this position. I know it is. Have you talked to your dad about it?"
"Yeah. He asked me about you the second he saw the story as well and I told him about you and Blaine and your relationship. He's been talking with me about everything and how it makes me feel and he wants me to maybe go talk to someone when I go back to school next week."
Seeing the opportunity for a conversation change (god, it was seeming like both of them needed something else to talk about now, especially with the way Dave was looking), Kurt's eyebrow raised and he jumped into a new topic headfirst. "You're going to school? Where at?"
Dave's body immediately relaxed upon the topic change and he smiled, "Oh, ummm, I'm going to culinary school in Pittsburgh. It's not that far away from home, but it's far enough, you know?"
"So... culinary school? I- I never would've guessed you liked to cook, to be honest."
"I know. Most people see me and think I just like to play sports, but I like other things too. Cooking's just one of those things. You know, my parents were always working when I came home from football practice and whatever, so sometimes I would cook dinner so that when they got home, they'd have a meal on the table. Sometimes I'd go by recipes and sometimes I'd improvise... I think that's why I decided to go into the culinary arts."
"Well, I'm impressed, David." Kurt said sincerely, shooting a smile at his friend. Dave smiled back and flushed slightly, pulling his hand away from Kurt's.
"Umm, well maybe sometime when I'm in, I can cook for you... and Blaine if you want to bring him. We can have a guys' night in or something."
"I would love that and I'm sure Blaine would too."
Dave smiled again, this time with genuine excitement and when asked about his classes in Pittsburgh, he happily told Kurt about school and what living in the city was like. Kurt regaled him with stories of New York and how he had been in the midst of trying to win a part in a show when he received the call about Blaine. Both boys also talked about how things had changed after graduation and how college was much different than they ever expected it.
And that's when Kurt dropped the bombshell.
"You guys are broken up?" Dave asked, his eyes wide in shock. Kurt shook his head and frowned.
"I regret it. I regretted it the second it happened, but in my mind, I felt like it needed to happen, you know? I was so far away from Blaine and I was so busy and neither of us seemed to have any time for the other. So I broke up with him over Thanksgiving break... it's my fault he was out that night he was attacked."
"And how in the world would it have been your fault?" Dave asked curiously, his brows furrowed in question. "You weren't even in the state when it happened."
Kurt told David about how Blaine had slipped into a depression of sorts and how the boy had forgotten about Christmas from what his family and friends had said. He talked about how Blaine left to shop at Westerville that night and how it was that trip that put him in the area of the crime. "It was my fault."
"No, it wasn't. Blaine was just at the wrong place at the wrong time," Dave soothed, taking Kurt's hand into his own. "Not once was this your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I broke his heart. That was what I did wrong."
"You just said it needed to happen. If you didn't break up with him, who knows where the two of you would be now, especially with the problems you said you guys had."
"He wouldn't be in a coma, that's for sure," Kurt scoffed, tugging his hand away from Dave's. He cupped his head in his hands and breathed in deep, his lungs aching as he did so. "Blaine would probably be sitting here with me right now instead of in that hospital."
"You don't know that. You don't know if what happened would have happened any other day or not at all. You can't just sit there and blame yourself for something that occurred when you weren't even around. Shit happens, Kurt. You can't stop it sometimes and that's not your fault. What happened with Blaine wasn't your fault at all and you need to understand that."
Kurt bit his lip, struggling to find the words to say. Dave was right, but no matter what anyone had told him these last few weeks, Kurt couldn't help but feel like he was the one who caused all of this, the one who tipped over the first domino and caused the fallout. He felt like the cause of the landslide that wrecked Blaine's life; he felt like the earthquake that caused the tsunami; he felt at fault. It was all his fault.
He was about to say something after several minutes of silence when Dave's voice softly interrupted his thoughts.
"Your phone... it's ringing or something."
Sure enough, Kurt's phone was vibrating like mad against the table, bumping into the now empty plate of biscotti as it rumbled. Kurt's eyes widened when he saw the name and picture that displayed on the front.
"Blaine's brother... that's him. He's calling."
"Well then, answer it," Dave chided, frantically waving a hand at the phone. Kurt stared at the shaking object in awe and then snapped out of his stupor, reaching forward to grab the device in his hand.
"Hello? Hello? Cooper?"
"Kurt, you need to get here right now."
"Why? Why? What's wrong?!"
Every single eye in the coffee shop turned to him. The barista from earlier was gripping the countertop, her eyes saucer-wide as she stared at Kurt in fear. Dave's mouth had fallen open with a pop as he watched Kurt with a frightened, helpless look. Something was going on on the other side of Kurt's phone and no one knew what to do.
Kurt's heart was about to burst out of his chest as he waited for Cooper to just say something. The man sounded slightly off on the other end, his voice garbled and watery and it was incredibly evident that he was crying, rather hard by the sound of it.
"Cooper? Cooper, please! What is it?"
Cooper choked back a sob and then laughed, a slight hiccup muddling his words. "K-Kurt, just get here!"
"It's Blaine, Kurt! He's woken up! He's awake, Kurt! He's awake!"
The phone slipped from Kurt's grasp and clattered against the table as the boy leaned forward, his head falling into his hands as a sob ripped from his throat.
"Oh my god. He's awake," he cried wetly, unable to stop his tears from falling. Around the shop, people cheered. The barista hollered and burst into tears herself, hugging her co-worker, and Dave, who had been sitting there in stunned silence, wiped a few tears from his own face as he watched Kurt fall apart across from him.
"He's awake!" Kurt wailed again, "He's awake! He's awake! Blaine's awake!"
A/N: So it's taken me a million years to get the motivation to write this chapter and finally it came to me, so I hope it wasn't absolutely wretched for you all to read. I hope you also don't mind the little Kurtofsky friendship I threw in here. To be honest, I don't mind Dave at all. I like his character and I think Kurtofsky as friends is a lovely thing (same goes for Blainofsky – I believe the two of them would've bonded a bit over the hate they've both endured from simple minded people) and I hope that bringing Dave in in this chapter was okay with you all. I also hope I didn't murder his character too badly; I've never really written him, so this was a first for me and since we haven't seen him since OMW, who knows how he's been since then, right? Anyway, I hope this chapter was okay and I hope to have another chapter out soon. Please let me know what you think; I value your thoughts so much and I love getting reviews from you lovely people! Thanks!