To be completely honest I still don't know what this fic is. Also, Extra Meaty is a creation of counterheist's porno AU.
Manada emerged from the kitchen to the entryway, greeted by none other than his brother. "Yo, Bromerica. Up top, man!" A man-five was exchanged between the two of them, emitting a wave of testosterone that would make any man or woman swoon. "You got the goods, eh?"
"Hell yeah I do!" Bromerica grinned widely, holding up a plastic bag full of beer. "We are gonna get so wasted, dude. It's gonna be sick."
"And I," Manada began with a smirk, "will supply the porn." He held up three DVD cases, all with ridiculously scandalous titles; Extra Meaty, Teenage Spermaholics, and The Russian Landscape: A Documentary.
Bromerica clapped Manada on the back, saying, "Man, you have the best pornos. They're as awesome as, like… burgers, boobs, and football combined." He meandered over to the couch with an almost obscene amount of Swagger (his favorite Old Spice scent) and flopped onto it, grabbing a can of beer and popping the tab open. Once Manada put the Extra Meaty disk in and pressed play he joined Bromerica on the couch, getting a beer himself and taking a long sip.
Extra Meaty had always been a favorite of theirs, mainly due to the actors. The pizza boy (also known as the Italian Stallion) looked suspiciously identical to Romano, and the customer was an almost exact duplicate of Norway. They couldn't have been, though, because Romano and Norway would be the last nations they'd expect to be porn stars, but as the two brothers had a masturbating contest (the first game of the Pornolympics: long distance jizzing) they decided it would be really fucking hot if it was them. Manada won the competition at over two meters.
The next game was a test in stamina; whoever could jerk off the most times during the porno won. It was vital to choose a porno that was less plot and more sex, and Teenage Spermaholics was just the one for the job. It was Bromerica's win this round, having come eight times within the span of two hours and twenty minutes.
By the end of the second film, Manada and Bromerica were drunk off their asses, and Manada just barely managed to get the documentary into the player without breaking it. With this last game came the end of the Pornolympics: whoever could get it up first won. The pair was much too sloshed and rubbed out to play, however, so they called it a tie. Instead, they watched the documentary with half-lidded eyes, twin flushes of exhaustion and arousal painting their cheeks.
"Y'know," Manada slurred, "I bet Russia has a really huge dick."
"Yeah, man, he's… he's fucking huge. He's gotta be like a foot long or something."
Bromerica contemplated this, pursing his lips and giving a loud hum of thought. "Yeah. And Ukraine's huge too. I mean her tits are like the size of my head!"
Manada and Bromerica laughed loudly at that, Bromerica almost falling off the couch until Manada tugged him upright. "I wonder if they're even real."
"Trust me, Manada," Bromerica said, waggling his eyebrows. "They're real."
Gaping openly, Manada asked, "Whoa, seriously?"
"Man." Silence fell over the pair, the bored drawl of the narrator the only sound in the room.
"You know what would be hot, Manada? Ukraine and Belarus fucking. That shit would be hella hot. Or-or WE could fuck them together."
"Or," Manada mused, "we could fuck each other while they fuck each other."
"…Manada, you are a genius."