Disclaimer: Not mine. Which is sad, because with me, they seem to drink and have fun an awful lot.
Oops, I did it again. And longer this time. But I need love tonight.
Sorry if it's unintelligible, but you know Gokudera, trying to be all eloquent while drinking...
Still, I hope you'll enjoy :3
If I were to say what was the most idiotic of all of Yamamoto's ideas, I'd say playing "I've never." You know, this really retarded game, the sole purpose of which is to get completely wasted while humiliating yourself. Juudaime said he wouldn't play, because he'd never done anything anyway, and he went to sleep to the other room. Turf head passed out in a corner "extremely" quickly, because he'd done everything. And that's how Yamamoto and I were the last men standing, so to speak.
"What's the point of playing now, baseball idiot?" I mumbled.
I really didn't feel like playing without any witnesses. I didn't trust him. And I didn't trust myself. I was going to get drunk, after all.
"The same as before, getting drunk. Gokudera's scared of something?"
"Shut it, smart-ass. The only thing I'm scared of is getting infected with your idiocy."
He laughed and hiccuped. Ah, that was cute. Oh, right. I forgot to mention, I kinda have hots for Yamamoto, as much as I hate to admit it. I guess he's already infected me with idiocy, after all. Not that I would ever do anything about it. And I mean it. I would never act on this disease-induced craze. That's what he is, a disease. I'm just patiently waiting for a miraculous cure for this cancer. And since he's too stupid to notice, I can afford it, fortunately. I grunted, less than more gracefully, and barked some random "I've never." Of course he had to drink, we're too different from each other. This game was going to end rather soon, with Yamamoto passing out first, if I was lucky. For a while, we continued with some safe stuff, like eating ravioli, having a pet, or scoring a maximum on a test. The booze was evaporating pretty quickly, and Yamamoto started to look much better than he actually does, so I had to back off, and fast. But he had other ideas, obviously, judging by the funny look he was giving me. I know most people call him an angel, but he's the devil himself, you'll all see it one day.
"I've never tried to kill anybody."
I snorted. Baseball idiot was playing low. At least the booze didn't affect my speech organs, so I could remain superior in every way.
"Well, I've never tried to kill myself."
"Did to! Not in as s-straight...forward way as... I might've, but... aaanyway it doesn't count."
"I'm amazed you were capable of saying such a long word with such little difficulty, considering the conditions. Maybe you're brain does work, but only under influence?"
"I have noooo idea what you just said."
He giggled. Giggled. This was a test. From a deity that hates me.
"Whatever, baseball idiot. I've never kissed a girl."
What the hell did I say that for? I mentally facepalmed myself. And then smashed my head against a wall. After the next question, I would simply have to pretend to pass out. I'm such an idiot. It's all his fault. When I lifted my eyes, I saw that Yamamoto was blushing. And here I thought he couldn't get any more red than that. But was even more surprising was that he didn't drink.
"You're not drinking? Seriously? Why? I mean... you're popular."
"I don't have time for girls. And Gokudera is popular, too. So why haven't you k-kissed a girl?"
"Because I hate girls, you moron. Don't act like you don't know that. Besides, the rules don't say anything about explaining shit. I haven't, period. And obviously, you haven't, too. So shut up about it already. It's enough of embarrassment for both of us."
At first, Yamamoto looked like he didn't get what I was saying. And then, he gave me a look I have never seen before. Somehow, I got anxious, and thought that maybe, just maybe, he not only understood what I said, but was analyzing it. But that was beyond ridiculous. Still, for some reason, the anxiety only deepened.
"You're freaking me out, Bakamoto. You look like you're thinking, and it's really disturbing. Let's call it a night."
I actually flinched. He suddenly looked and sounded more serious than ever, and more sober than was humanly possible, which was even worse. But after a second, he had his usual stupid smile plastered to his drunken face. Apparently, I was more drunk than I thought, and I've started seeing things.
"I'm not sleepy. We can take a break if you want, but let's talk a bit."
His voice was calm and cheerful, but had a tinge of mischief in it. It made me all defensive. More than usual, that is.
"Talk? About what? I don't have anything to say to you."
"So just answer my questions."
"I don't want to! Are you out of your mind? Who do you think you are to order me around? I'm not that drunk, you know. So if you don't want to die, shut the hell up and die!"
Yamamoto was less surprised by my outburst than I was. Still, his curious eyes were fixated on me, and it made me want to crawl under a rock, and wait for the cure. Or at least for a morning after. Turf head mumbled something in his sleep, but didn't wake up. I sighed in defeat.
"Fine. What do you want to know?"
"Why does Gokudera hate girls?"
A truly innocent question that made my skin crawl. I had two options – calm down and answer truthfully, or throw a tantrum and knock Yamamoto out. It's a wonder that drinking actually made me calmer. Maybe it's because I was in a state of perpetual anger while sober.
"They're stupid, loud, useless, and obsessed with idiotic things." I barked.
Yamamoto was silent for a while, and then he laughed softly.
"I'm also stupid, loud, useless and obsessed with an idiotic thing. No wonder that Gokudera hates me, too!"
His mouth was laughing, but his eyes were kind of sad. And again, I had two options – don't say a word to deny it, or truthfully admit, that I didn't hate him. One would probably be quite hurtful to Yamamoto, and the other absolutely embarrassing for me.
"You're not that useless." I mumbled. Damn it, if saying this was so embarrassing, I would die, if I said anything more than that. "But you're still loud and stupid, don't forget that."
I glanced at him, and his relieved smile went straight south. That was a signal to stop drinking.
"I'm going to sleep! You're wasting my time!"
I lied on the floor with my back turned at him, and closed my eyes.
"I'm glad that Gokudera loves Tsuna..." he whispered.
At that, I was on my feet in a fracture of a second.
"I DON'T LOVE JUUDAIME!" I shouted.
Turf head still didn't wake up. Fortunately, his sleep was also "extreme." Yamamoto looked confused. But then again, he usually looked confused.
"No? How come? I love Tsuna. And Dino-san, and Sasagawa-sempai, and Lambo, and the girls, too. We all love him. And I thought Gokudera's love was the biggest. Aren't you a right-hand man?"
So that's what he meant. I didn't know what to say to him for the first time since I've met him.
"I mean, it's a good thing that Gokudera has someone he doesn't hate. Even if it's only one person."
"Stop talking, Bakamoto. You're depressing me. You're making me feel bad about myself."
It was already too late, when I realized that I have just been honest with someone other than Juudaime for the longest time. And it was already too late to stop my mouth from running away. Seems like the alcohol finally affected my speech organs.
"Stop acting like you know me, alright? Because you don't. You have no idea who I am, what I think, and how I feel. You can't see anything past baseball. But it's fine this way. I like it this way. You don't concern yourself with me, I don't have to be bothered by you. You have baseball, I have Juudaime. It's perfect. That's all we need, right? I don't want you're half-assed friendship. So let's finish the booze, go to sleep, and never talk again."
I grabbed a bottle and sat in front of Yamamoto. He looked hurt, even tough he was smiling, I could tell. But I didn't care anymore. I had my pride. I wasn't going to go soft on him. He deserved it. I wasn't acting like some woman scorned, I was making a point. And his silence proved it. He didn't know me at all. He didn't even know what to say to me. I was right. I know I was.
"I've never lied about my feelings."
"Che, fine. If that's how you wanna do it."
I didn't care if he said it as a response to my little runt, or as a continuation of the game. What mattered was that I didn't want to have a conversation with him. So I took a mouthful and glared at him.
"I've never tired to barge into someone's life uninvited." I spat, just to spite him, and he arched his brow. "Except for Juudaime's."
"I've never rejected a friendship, because I was too scared of letting more than one person into my life."
Somehow, the game was getting out of control. So why did I drink, when it equaled admitting he was right? I should have punched him in the face and go to sleep. I really was drunk.
"I've never been so stupid not to see that someone liked me just because they didn't confess."
Now, that, was just idiotic. There's no way I could safely state that, and no way he could estimate if he has, either. But Yamamoto didn't even flinch, and drunk anyway.
"I've never accepted a confession."
He was challenging me. Challenging. Me. Was he even a bigger idiot than everyone gave him credit for? I was too drunk and to pissed off not to accept it! It wasn't even about the game anymore.
"Neither have I! I've never confessed to anybody!"
At first, his hand didn't even touch the bottle. But when he grabbed it, my brain kind of shut off. No way. How come was I too drunk to avoid making a complete idiot of myself, but not drunk enough not to feel childishly jealous? And I was feeling sick.
"I love Gokudera." He emptied the bottle in one go. "I've never kissed a guy."
Now, I have no explanation for what I did at that moment. I'm not even sure if I was thinking at all. I know my heart stopped. So my brain might have stopped as well. Maybe it was competitiveness, maybe intoxication. Maybe a mixture. For sure, it had nothing to with the fact I wanted to do it for a while by then. Because I didn't. But, somehow, before emptying a bottle and rushing to the bathroom... I kissed Yamamoto Takeshi.
Aww, that was just... I don't even. But thanks for reading :) I'll be happy to hear your thoughts :)