Rizzoli & Isles belongs to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, TNT, and the host of writers, producers, cast, and crew who create the show we love to watch. I am not any of those people.
No actual spoilers, nor a set time frame. This one shot was written as a character study experiment. No beta, no co-author, just me and a laptop and a very, very, long day.
"Why don't you tell me something, Jane." Arthur Adler was calm, relaxed, unhurried. It was annoying.
"Like this is a waste of time?" Jane Rizzoli rolled her eyes and looked anywhere else.
"You don't think that, or you wouldn't be here."
"... Okay. Um, I hate football," Jane confessed, as if it were a cardinal sin.
"It's too violent. I see people doing horrible things to each other every day, I don't need to watch it at night. Hockey too."
"That's okay. I mean, until the pitchers playing bean ball. Forget it."
"Hmm. No one generally dies in a football game."
"Just trying to understand your rationale, that's all."
"See? This is why I hate this. You're trying to get inside my head."
"You're paying me to get inside your head, Jane. You can walk out any time."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"You're uncomfortable. It's understandable. So baseball. I'm a Mets fan, myself."
"Whu-hah! Seriously? At least it's not the Yankees."
"No one actually likes the Yankees. We respect them." Dr. Adler hesitated, "Well, we respect the depths of their wallets at least."
Part of Jane wanted to fist bump her psychiatrist. "I used to think having money like that made everything better."
"You don't anymore?"
"Hmm. What about soccer?"
"Subject change much? Sorry, I know, you don't want to get into it on the first day. I've seen shrinks before. Um... Soccer, no, but I played it in school. Field hockey too. They don't have the same ... Beauty." Jane started to laugh.
"Why is that funny?"
"Maur- my best friend... Um. It's..." Jane's energy fizzled and she looked at her feet. "It's why I'm here."
"Beauty or baseball?"
"Really?" she asked, incredulous, but at Dr. Adler's eyebrow lift, she sighed. "First one."
"But you're not quite ready to say it yet."
"That's alright, Jane. You don't suddenly wake up, ready to, ah, what did you tell me?" The wry grin on Dr. Adler's face was comforting, as if by teasing Jane he was treating her like anyone else. "Dump all your personal crap on a total stranger. It's a process. You have to feel you can trust me, that I'm safe, and this place is safe. When you do, you'll feel you can tell me."
"You make it sound so... Reasonable."
"I may have done this before."
"Heh. Not your first rodeo with a stubborn cop?"
"You've met my sister. Firefighters aren't much different."
"Family dinner must be a hoot."
"Mom's sent us both to our rooms. Recently." A look of chagrin crossed his face. "When two grown-ups are standing in their childhood bedrooms, with their kids and spouses howling with laughter downstairs... They may never let me forget it." With a sigh, the doctor leaned back in his chair.
"But ... It kinda sounds like your Ma loves you."
"In her way, she does. Doesn't yours?"
Jane sighed, explosively. "I can't ever tell. She always tried to get me to fit into this ... little mold. You know? Be the perfect daughter, wear a dress, do my hair. I just wanted to play sports and get dirty. Hell, being a cop? She blames me for Frankie joining up."
"I suspect your brother would have joined the army if you had first. You're a natural leader."
"God, wait'll they find out I have no idea where I'm going."
"No one really does. Our internal compasses are difficult to track." Waving one hand, he elaborated, "It's a forest for the trees problem."
"You're welcome. May I ask you something?"
"Isn't that your job?"
"My job is to listen and help you understand what you're feeling."
"Oh. Uh, yeah, ask away."
"Why did you pick me? There are thousands of psychiatrists in Boston, hundreds who specialize in post traumatic stress. But you didn't pick any of the department shrinks. You got signed off by them two years ago, twice, anyway. You're as crazy as anyone else."
Jane chewed the inside of her mouth, unwilling to face that truth any more than the others. "I'm ... I'm not ready to answer that."
"It answered my question."
"When you don't answer directly, it tells me that who I am factors into the reason you're here. You gave me permission to read all your old case notes, so I can make an education guess- that's funny?"
"Sorry, Maura never guesses."
"Maura. Dr. Maura Isles?"
"Yeah... You're totally going to write that down, aren't you?"0
"I don't think I have to, do you?"
"How come you don't take notes?" grumbled Jane.
"Too many people read upside down. The purpose is to help me understand you. After you leave, I'll write down my thoughts, what stuck out the most. Also what didn't."
"Huh. Makes sense."
"Speaking of after we're done, we have just under ten minutes left. Is there anything you want to ask me?"
Jane picked at the lint on her knee, "How come you have two first names?"
The doctor laughed. "Arthur is for my grandfather, Franks was my mother's maiden name, and according to family lore was because people at Ellis Island were overworked and not as pedantic as Maura."
"It's not short for Frankenstein, is it?"
"You found me out. I'm a mad scientist."
Maybe this would work.
"After that, I told Maura the whole speed dating thing was terrible, and could we go for drinks, just us. That was a hell of a lot more fun. I told her all about the time Korsak tried to slide down a pole in a firehouse, got his coat caught and dangled for almost twenty minutes 'cause we were all laughing." She sighed, pleased with the memory of both a dangling Korsak and drinks with Maura.
Dr. Adler was quiet for a while, looking at Jane carefully. "Let's go back to the speed dating. Tell me something about the lawyer."
"God, really?" Jane rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine, the blond idiot. Kinda looked like Garrett Fairfield, Maura's ex-rich-asshole boyfriend, I arrested him for killing his half-brother. Garrett, not the lawyer. I forget his name. No way could I date a guy who looked like that. Maura agreed."
"And he was the most memorable date?"
"Does Maura count?" When Dr. Adler shook his head, Jane sighed. "Yes."
"You didn't want to go."
"I really hate it when you don't ask the question," bitched Jane. "No. Yes. No... Augh!" She covered her face with her hands. The doctor waited patiently. "I gave Maura crap about the yes/no thing once."
"Why did you go if you didn't want to?"
Jane groaned into her hands, and the silence filled the room. Obviously Dr. Adler was going to wait her out. "Do we have to?"
"Of course not, Jane. You can talk about whatever you want."
Taking her hands away from her face, Jane slumped on the couch. The next twenty minutes passed in silence. "Same time next week?"
"Same time," agreed Dr. Adler, pulling out his laptop to write his notes as Jane left.
"I hate you, you arrogant asshole!" screamed Jane. She could feel the veins on her neck standing out. "You think you're so damn smart, in your little chair, with your stupid degrees. You don't just magically know everything!" Dr. Arthur Adler just sat there, in the damn chair, looking up at Jane. She kept screaming at him, stupid things that didn't matter, until finally she ran out of foul words and just stood there, panting.
"No," snapped Jane, but she sat down on the couch again. "I guess that's a trigger, huh?"
Arching his eyebrows, Dr. Adler dryly replied, "You think?"
"I don't like talking about Hoyt. And it's not ... it's not related." The doctor snorted. "Did you just snort at me? Seriously? That's ... that's bad doctoring."
"You were willing to let him kill you."
"I said I don't want to talk about Hoyt."
But he pressed on. "But then you realized he was going to kill Maura."
"And you stopped him."
Jane blindly grabbed the kleenex box and hurled it against the wall, "Stop picking at it!"
As if nothing had happened, he continued. "And with Marino, you shot yourself to save your brother." Jane stopped and stared at her doctor. "You sacrifice yourself, and your self, your essence, for others."
Sweat was trickling down her face and Jane shook her head mutely. This time Dr. Adler let it ride. "Fuck you," snarled Jane.
"What's the same between Maura and Frank Jr?"
She was still so angry, it took a while for her to calm down and process the question. "I love them. They're family. I'd do the same for Korsak."
"You were willing to blow the case on Hoyt to save Korsak," he pointed out.
"There? See, it's not just Maura."
"I didn't say it was."
Curling up her lips in a sneer, Jane growled, "Then what the crap?"
"It's a pattern," he explained, but left it at that.
Shitty doctor. "It is not! And I told you, that's not what I need to talk about!" When Dr. Adler arched an eyebrow, she barreled on. "God, I'm totally self-aware enough to know I have a ... A sacrifice thing." His eyebrows twitched and Jane rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up. I'm a good cop because of it. Because I know how to put someone else in front of myself."
"Exactly," nodded Dr. Adler, seemingly pleased that Jane had followed along.
She stared at him, bewildered for a long time. Then she blinked and slumped in the comfort of the couch. "Oh." The doctor got up and collected the kleenex, bringing it back over for Jane, who suddenly had a need to blow her nose. "It is kind of about ... putting me first," she admitted.
"Yes," agreed the doctor, calmly. "It's against your nature, though, and this will be harder."
Now it was Jane who snorted, "Hoyt was easy?"
"You'll see," sighed the doctor, and he leaned forward in his chair. "Now. When was the last time you did something, just for yourself?"