Disclaimer:If I owned Reborn, the show would revolve around Irie Shoichi and Viper. It would probably suck, too.
Summary: All she wanted was peace, quiet, and cupcakes. What she got was a baby mafia tutor with an assault rifle and control of a family that kept trying to kill her. Oi Vey. [OC family + Canon]
Word Count: 454
Warnings: None.


Subtlety obviously was not this man's strong suit, Lal Mirch decided dryly. The balding Mafioso sat proudly in his oversized leather chair, his hands clasped in front of his greasy face while he leaned forward over the table in a decidedly conspiratorial way. The messy haired infant before him narrowed her eyes slightly behind her red-orange scanner, face set dangerously close to a scowl. Antonio Marcotti wasn't a man known for his benevolent nature. He had made a name for himself among the darkest and grimiest parts of the mafia through a mixture of violence, extortion, and scare tactics. The only reason Lal was tolerating being in his presence was because she had orders directly from the Vongola Ninth to listen to what he had to say. If she had things her way, Antonio Marcotti would be dead on the floor with a bullet through his head and the Vongola would be taking possession of the base.

Thankfully for Antonio Marcotti, Lal Mirch was not the boss of the Vongola Famiglia.

"It would be in the best interests of the entire mafia if you were to take on this job. I am sure you are aware of issues. It hasn't exactly been kept a secret." Antonio narrowed his scarlet eyes, almost as if daring the Arcobaleno to comment on the poor quality of his skin and hair or the way that plum purple bags hung under his eyes. Lal showed no reaction to the silent challenge.

"All the same, I have responsibilities in CEDEF that cannot be ignored, even for a job of this...magnitude." Lal kept her voice purposefully even and blank. Starting a war between Vongola and Notte Silenziosa because of poor behavior would be absolutely disastrous at best as tensions were already high. The Notte Silenziosa Ninth smiled wryly and produced a paper with a bright orange Dying Will Flame seal burning at the top.

"I believe you'll find that Timoteo has arranged provisions for that." Lal nearly bristled at the informal address, but took the paper with nothing less than absolute calm. Rosy eyes scanned the document from behind rosier glasses and Lal Mirch inwardly cursed the Vongola Ninth to hell and back. He had effectively left her with no way out of this.

"Very well then. I will train your granddaughter to be the next boss of the Notte Silenziosa family to the best of my ability."

Some where thousands of miles away on a crowded little island called Japan, a twiggy girl with dark blue hair tied back into a bun sneezed violently into the bowl of cake batter she had been stirring.

"Wha-? Oh no, now I have to start all over again! Mom's gonna kill me..."

A/N: And there you have it. This story is going to contain an INSANE AMOUNT OF OCs. Just letting you know. There'll be a fair amount of canon mixed in there too, so expect to see your favorite little Tunafish pop up every once and a while later on.

Next chapter: Our airheaded, sweet-toothed protagonist goes to school, meets some important characters, and gets her face stomped in by an irate infant with a giant gun. Whoopee.

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