Sorry I was away from my computer this weekend o.o Anywho enjoy!
Kate can't explain the look on Castle's face after her mental burn towards him, she knows that she had hurt him though.
Rick couldn't get a grip on his emotions after she had said that.
'The glory of not living together'
After those lines ran through his head a couple more times, something snapped in his brain. He looked down trying to fight the tears that threatened to come out. In that moment his hands happened to be very interesting to him, as he picked at the dead skin on his fingers, not even chancing a look at her.
Kate grew from angry to worried within seconds. She could see the utter frustration building inside him, it was written all across his face. This is what she had been scared of, this is why she has never wanted to take the chance on making a move in their partnership. She has never wanted to hurt him like this, hating herself in that moment for making him to be in so much pain.
Something clicked in Castle's mind as he tried to think of a coherent thought that would explain the horrific clenching feeling in his heart.
Kate started to get antsy not knowing what was running through his mind; only knowing it was over a million things. She could see it in the way his eyebrows creased in the middle, how he was fidgeting with his hands.
She decided against the stupid fight and inched towards him, wanting to comfort him in anyway she can.
"Why did you tell me you loved me last week?"
Rick asked completely ignoring the beginning of her sentence. When he looked up he could see absolute shock and confusion fill Kate's face. Her eyebrows scrunched together as she did a double take, like his question made no sense to her.
"Because I do love y-"
"Don't stand here and lie to me Kate!" He nearly yelled at her, making her step back.
"Rick what the hell are you talking about? You know that I-" He cut her off again.
"No Kate you don't, cause if you really cared about me the way I care about you- there wouldn't…you wouldn't- This wouldn't"
He couldn't arrange his thoughts into words, making him jumble through his sentence; not being able to finish it.
"Rick how can you say that? How can you honestly think that I don't care about you the way you care about me?"
Kate felt her throat closing up as she witnessed the doubt and distress cross Rick's face.
'What did I do to make him think such horrid things?'
Her thoughts were unnerving to even herself, she knew that she loved him; what she didn't know, is why he thinks she is lying.
"See Kate you- you do these things that mess with my heart; you can only mess with a guys emotions so much before they snap" His hands were shaking, he steadied them to comb his hair.
"Rick-" Her voice was a plea, but he wasn't giving into it.
"No Kate no, this isn't funny anymore, hell it never has been funny." He paced back and forth trying to get a grip, failing terribly.
"I love you, you know that I love you, god Kate I have never felt about someone the way I feel about you, but here we are still and you're messing with my head. You make me think things that aren't true." He's shaking his head not wanting to say the next words.
He laughed, an all too weak laugh to actually be real, as he rubbed the back of his neck; drawing out any of the knots there, too many to actually have an affect though.
"and to think you actually loved me Kate, boy who was I fooling." His face finally fell exhaustively.
"Castle I do love you!" She managed to get out in his little rant of words. He's still shaking his head in disapproval.
"Rick I- I, how can you think that I don't love you?" Her eyes were as red as his now, both filled with emotions they have been bottling up for the past two weeks, to avoid complications in their relationship.
Rick looked her in the eyes seeing her pleading and sorrow swirl about. Making him infuriated. He feels played and mocked watching her look so confused and hurt.
'She's not hurt! I'm hurt, can't she see what she's doing to me, why is she being so cruel? Loving the most infuriating women ever!'
"Kate if you loved me" He laughs actually laughs, sending friction down Kate's spine.
"You don't love me… you don't know what love is, because if you did." He moves towards her now.
"If you even knew the beginning of how much a person can love another, you wouldn't try so hard to cut me out."
"Cut you out?" She hollered displeased by his assumptions.
"YES cut me out! You said it yourself Kate" Now he is crowding over her, breaking any space that was ever between them.
"When the going gets tuff, you can just kick me out; Right Kate? That's what you said, that's what you want?"
"Rick that is NOT what I meant" Her voice is hoarse with emotions.
"Oh really, how did you mean it then Kate? Because to me it sounded a lot like you not actually wanting to dive into this relationship with me at all, and yes now we're in a relationship Kate, and in relationships you're not aloud to just push the other person away every time something doesn't go your way, it's not fair."
Rick is trying to take over his emotions, the tears have gone away for now, but he can tell they wont be gone for long. He's trying so hard, so damn hard, to stay strong not fall apart in front of her; but it's not easy, not at all. And when he's looking down at her watching as the liquid spills down her cheeks, it's excruciating how much he has to fight himself to not wrap his arms around her.
"Castle, please I'm sorry."
Her voice is shaky, it is new to Rick. He has never in all his 4 years of knowing her, has ever heard her sound so desperate and broken. The closest he has ever come to her voice sounding like this, was in the hanger when she was pleading Montgomery to let her help him. He shivered at that memory.
"Kate, please don't do that" He says breathless because he's so weak from his heart poring out in front of her. He can't handle her voice cracking, it's practically ripping him in half.
"No Rick I love you, I love You!" She's full on crying now. She is so scared to lose him, he clearly doesn't realize the depths of how her heart thumps for him. She hates him for what he is doing to her right now, that is why she is pushing him back shouting her love to him.
"Castle I love you!" Another shove.
"Damn it Rick, I love you you idiot!" Another push right to the chest.
He's dumbfounded and indignant at her pushing and shoving.
"Yeah you love me, you love me?" He yells back almost sarcastically, as he grabs her arms to still the pushing. She continued to try and push almost succeeding but his grip tightens, making her double over and start sobbing with defeat.
"God Castle why wont you just believe that I love you?" She's more than desperate now, she's audacious with her actions. She hardly cares if she is making herself look completely hopeless by losing him; because the truth is, she knows she really would be completely and one-hundred percent lost without him.
Rick's still on fire with anger but also sadness. He cups her face in his hands making sure to look in her eyes. It catches him by surprise. The innocents in her eyes, like she's a little girl again. He thinks he is finally seeing the real Kate Beckett.
Before anymore can be said between them, he pushes his lips on hers fiercely letting her feel all the pain she causes him. When he does kiss her he can feel the love in her kiss. The need. It's like his own, and now he understands that she's on the same level as he.
He breaks from her lips, resting his head on hers. He can feel all the warm salty tears drenching his face now. Both of them flushed from tears.
"Kate I am so sorry" He's holding her face in his hands as his forehead is connected with hers. "I'm so sorry for what-" He gets cut off by Kate's mouth crushing his lips with all the same power as his kiss before.
Her arms are now tugging at the back of his neck, making his head come down more, deepening the kiss. The feel of her fingers tugging at his hair in desperation for more of him is driving him crazy to the highest. His hands are wrapped around her waist finally, not having to fight it anymore. Their bodies are flushed together, leaving no room for any cool air to slip between them.
Her lips leave his and work over his cheek as she whispers her love for him.
"God Rick I love you so much, please don't doubt that"
And he knows he wont ever again, after seeing how torn she was.
"I wont, oh Kate I wont." his lips find her neck in a needy second, he is now sucking and biting her flesh.
Her soft moan of approval undoes him making him lose control.
Now she has unleashed another kind of Richard Castle that she seen before, this one she just doesn't mind so much.
Sooooooo…. Yeah… lol, hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it was pretty dramatic or whatever, but, I was just feeling it I guess. So Review and all that good stuff! Okay. Yeah! Lol, next chapter will be ummm, Maybe M rated, unless I cut that scene… Idk…