Sweet: A Red Rover, Red Rover Episode Tag

DISCLAIMER: The Mentalist does not belong to me. It is the creation of Bruno Heller. I'm writing this fiction to express my love for the series and maybe vent a little.

"You're sweet"

She is. I knew if from the moment it I met her. This was a sweet woman hiding in a suit of armor.

I knew she'd work with me, if for no other reason, than for the fact that my sad history compelled her to give me a chance. I thought, with time, I could use her in my quest for Red John.

I never thought she'd become my best friend.

Or that I'd give up my hunt for Red John because I couldn't imagine losing her to him.

Because seeing her smile greeting me, when I left the courtroom after I was set free in my trial...that had been enough to turn me off my revenge.

Knowing the God I didn't believe in had given me a second chance to be with her...

"Jane don't do anything rash."

That was enough.

It was everything.

I didn't care anymore.

I didn't want Red John. I hadn't in since I shot Carter and gotten a taste of what life would be like without her.

And just in case I had any doubts, the question was cinched when I saw that smiley, that damned smiley on a little girl's hand.

I had to give up. Not just for mine or Lisbon's sake, but for all of his potential victims.

I had to give up. So I did. I burned all my files on him. Made it official.

"Let me help you."

But I underestimated the extent of my rage; my disappointment in myself, the stabbing pain at the memory of their deaths, so deep I could barely breathe.

Seeing that worthless sadist, a man who buried his coworker alive and left him to die in horror; I couldn't bear to see another killer go free.

It was Panzer all over again.

I may have come to terms with letting him go, but every killer, every suspect I couldn't put away will become him. And having to face the bureaucratic crap for catching a killer I know wouldn't have been caught otherwise…

Well, that wasn't entirely true. If I'd told Lisbon of my suspicions, we might have found evidence against him. What was it she said? Cho's accountant cracked his money laundering maze…

But I'd been too preoccupied to think about that…

Luther may have been the one who was livid, shouting and attacking me like a crazy man, but I was the one who'd lost it, way before he had. I couldn't stop myself from enraging him, knowing full well his fragile ego wouldn't let him take it.

I just lost it.

And I lost my job.

And now I lost her.

I lost her, and she doesn't even know it.

"We can sort this out."

Because she's too sweet.

"We'll fix it."

Eight years.

Eight years, and she still hasn't learned.

I can't be fixed.

Author's note: I think anyone who's seen the promo probably knows that Jane isn't quite as out of the game as he appears in this episode (and this tag). But I couldn't help writing it anyway. You can blame the gradually ascending fade-out shrouding Jane in darkness right before the episode ended.