Lessons I Learned from Ghost Adventures

Lesson 1: If you walk into what feels like a spider web, it could actually be a b****-slap from a ghost.

Lesson 2: Always wear a mask. You don't want to get crap in your lungs.

Lesson 3: Sometimes, the toughest-looking guys are the biggest chickens.

Lesson 4: Some ghost-recording equipment lets you hear burping mosquitoes.

Lesson 5: Sometimes ghosts will tell you dirty little secrets, like if they got pregnant before getting married, or if they killed someone.

Lesson 6: Don't go puddle-jumping right after a thunderstorm, especially when said puddle is near a downed power line.

Lesson 7: If you yell enough, ghosts WILL come out.

Lesson 8: Sometimes, the toughest-looking guys are also the biggest goofballs. See also Lesson 3.

Lesson 9: 15 minutes seems to be the magic number for the amount of time it takes for someone to die in a hanging execution gone wrong.

Lesson 10: Chirping crickets make great rave music.