Wreck-It-Ralph requested another version of "Hysteria" so here it is, albeit several months after the fact.


Me and Phil wrote the verse and bridge one afternoon and auditioned it that night around the fire for some Irish friends. Got a surprising thumbs up. (Sav)


Chapter 18:

Hysteria [2.0]

The Jump Street team, led by Captain Adam Fuller, was currently undercover at a high school prom, trying to catch a dangerous arsonist. Music was playing from loud speakers over the sound system, and the packed gym floor now also served as an impromptu dance floor. Tom could easily identify the current song as Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven"—a classic. Whoever picked it had good taste.

As "Stairway to Heaven" came to a close and Def Leppard's "Hysteria" began to play, Tom shoved off his wall, walked across the floor, and extended a hand to Judy. He asked, "Officer Hoffs, may I have this dance?"

"Why?" Judy queried.

Out of touch, out of reach yeah
You could try to get closer to me
I'm in love, I'm in deep, yeah
Hypnotized, I'm shaking to my knees

"Well," Tom said, gesturing to Doug, "I'd ask him but his feet are too big. I think the song gave an answer as well."

Hoffs smiled a little at that and took his hand. Within seconds they were just one more couple on the makeshift dance floor.

I gotta know tonight
If you're alone tonight
Can't stop this feelin'
Can't stop this fire

Oh I get hysterical hysteria
Oh can you feel it (can you feel it)
Do you believe it (do you believe it)
It's such a magical mysteria
When you get that feelin' (when you get that feelin')
Better start believin' (better start believin')
'Cos it's a miracle oh say you will ooh babe
Hysteria when you're near

"Okay, I get that," Judy said as she and Tom waltzed across the floor. "So what you're trying to say is you have feelings for me, huh, Hanson?"

"I mentioned it to Jenko once," he admitted.

Out of me into you yeah
You can hide it's just a one way street
Oh I believe I'm in you yeah
Open wide that's right dream me off my feet
Oh believe in me

I gotta know tonight
If you're alone tonight
Can't stop this feelin'
Can't stop this fire

Oh I get hysterical hysteria
Oh can you feel it (can you feel it)
Do you believe it (do you believe it)
It's such a magical mysteria
When you get a feelin' (When you get a feelin')
Better start believin' (Better start believin')
'Cos it's a miracle oh say you will ooh babe
Hysteria when you're near

"Really?" Judy asked over the guitar solo. "And what did he say?"

"That I wouldn't make the wait. Or was it weight?"

Hoffs chuckled. "Who cares? He was wrong anyway."

Tom blinked. "He was?"

She tilted her head, flashing bedroom eyes at him. "Of course," Judy practically purred, her voice suddenly husky. Almost instantly a line of "Armageddon It" flashed into Tom's head: You flash your bedroom eyes like a jumpin' jack, then play it pretty with a pat on the back. Suddenly Hanson was uneasy: Long-term relationships didn't work out for him. It wasn't that he was into one-night stands—that was more Penhall or Booker's department—but every long-term relationship he'd had had lasted for a few months, if not weeks.

"D'you think our pyromaniac is going to show?" he asked, trying to change the topic.

Judy's expression shifted from flirtatious to cop in under a second. "Yeah, I do. Let's keep a lookout while we dance, okay?"

Tom just nodded; he couldn't think of anything to say.

I gotta know tonight
If you're alone tonight
Can't stop this feelin'
Can't stop this fire

Oh I get hysterical hysteria
Oh can you feel it do you believe it
It's such a magical mysteria
When you get a feelin' better start believin'
'Cos it's a miracle, oh say you will
Ooh babe ooh babe oh
I get hysterical hysteria
When you get a feelin' you'd better believe it

Better start believin' 'cos it's a miracle
Oh say you will oh babe say you will

Get closer to me get closer baby
Baby get closer get closer
Closer to me

"Hysteria" faded out only to be replaced by Guns 'N' Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle." The crowd suddenly parted like the Red Sea, revealing the newest arrival: a girl in a long black dress carrying a handful of violently scarlet roses.

"Who is that?" said Doug loudly.

"I think that's our pyromaniac," Hanson muttered. He was back in cop mode, and so was Judy. Their conversation could wait until later.