Scattered

It was the early hours of the next day as Ellen was half asleep in Ratchets cab, she heard a voice, though she only heard it faintly, but nonetheless she opened her eyes slightly, "Ratchet it's me Raf...er, Ratchet?" She heard as she stirred wavering it off as some dream as she turned onto her side.

"Go away." Was Ratchets response typical for a dream to portray Ratchet in character.

A series of beeps were heard as she vaguely made it out as a "Why?" so Bumblebee was now a part of the dream?

"My head is cruel." She thought.

"You're interrupting my power down." Ratchet said. A series of beeps were heard again though she couldn't make out what was said that time, actually she was trying to ignore it she thought her head was messing with her some more.

"Come on Ratchet we need your help to find the others." She heard and was as clear as a bell that time, just the pitch itself was too accurate for it to sound unreal.

this time her eyes opened fully as she became aware that this was reality, not some dream, "That voice before." She thought, and the first thing she did in her half awake state was to leap out of the cab falling on her knees at first as she looked up to the front, "Raf! Bumblebee!" she cried stumbling to get up as she threw herself at Raf, rephrase, tackled Raf to the ground and almost broke the twelve year old in half. "You guys! You're alright! And..." she started, squeezing the life out of Raf as she looked to Bumblebee, "Bee your...black!" she announced bewildered picking up Raf from the floor and holding him like a ragdoll.

Raf wheezed as he looked at her face, "You, okay? You look ill?" he asked.

She raised an eyebrow lightly as she remembered the time that passed, though she lightly scoffed to not portray hesitation, "Nah, i had like this huge nosebleed so i wouldn't go in Ratchets cab for a while." She jested producing a fake smile though she hoped it would be enough to back up her statement, "but i am glad to see you guys and for you to find us." she laid her head on his, "you guys..."

"You know i'm kind of lacking oxygen down here." He said slightly wheezing.

"O-Oh sorry." She said putting him down then turned her attention to Bumblebee, "Bee." She sighed putting her arms up as Bee lent in for a hug.

Swiftly releasing herself from the hug she rubbed her hands together, "So, you were saying about finding the others?" she said kind of looking for answers from them.

"Yeah and to stop Megatron." Bee said throwing a fist up.

"We can't stop Megatron! Not anymore." Ratchet snapped as Ellen snapped her eyes open almost jumping half a foot in the air. "the war is over! And we, lost."

Ellen slightly averted her eyes to the floor as Ratchet was now giving Raf a reality check. "you're giving up! You can't just give up!" Raf argued.

Ratchet transformed abruptly in the confrontation, "then tell me what we can do?! Without communications, without a Groundbridge, without a base of operations, or any resources of any kind."

"There's another base we can use, with a Groundbridge." Bee said.

Ellen slapped a hand over her face, "of course the Harbinger."

"Bee's right, we know Starscream had an access to a Groundbridge while he was operating solo."Raf added.

"Yes, yes, he'd clearly been using the derelict Decepticon ship the Harbinger, what does that have to do with anything?!"

"Everything!" Ellen screamed in her head.

"It could be full of Cybertronian tech, and it's probably abandoned again now that Starscreams back with the Cons." He said.

Ratchet scoffed, "Well, resources won't be of much use, not without someone to, lead us." he said.

"it's a start." Raf argued.

"Right." She thought to herself, she couldn't bring herself to be apart of the debate mainly because she was too concerned with one of Ratchets cold comebacks she couldn't take anymore.

"Then you'll have to start without me. This is someone else's fight now." He said.

"There is no one else Ratchet, just us, just the team." He said, the conflict got her thinking of course, they are two sides to any argument she was glad Raf was the one to be the opposing side, the deities know that her will had been slightly cut.

Ratchet shook his head him, "Please." He said turning around as he transformed, "just let me...rust in peace."

"Come on Bee, Ellen." Raf said slightly more assertive.

"Yes of course, wait for me alright? I'll be with you in a minute" though one thing was for sure, she was tired of twisted words and letting words get to her as much as it did.

She walked up to his hood as she lent up against him, "Rafs right, it is a start..." she started lightly as she shook her head at his form it was pretty hard to try and convince someone when you're trying to convince yourself, but Raf was right. She slightly clenched her fist as she struggled to speak, "E-Even without Dad, d-dead or alive, this doesn't change a thing, the War is still on and we're, you guys are the only ones who are to oppose Megatron."

Ratchet scoffed, "hardly, you can't make a stand with the Decepticons, there evil and malice has just...overwhelmed us."

Moping was one thing, surrendering is another, she slapped a hand down onto his hood as she was tired of his attitude, "True evil is surrendering to evil! Surrendering our freedom and dignity instead of defying it! a-and even though i'm preaching right now and i should've told myself that earlier, next to Dad I've known you the longest i'm finding reasons to carry on but, i can't...i can't stand alone." She waited...a long while, just for him to say something back, anything like the novels she used to read where the heroes are without a prayer but at the bleakest point something came to their aid, she then backed away as it was clear that wasn't going to happen here, "let's go Raf." She simply said.

"sure." Raf sighed as she approached him and Bee, "You can, take the wheel this time." Bumblebee opened his doors, she let herself smile slightly to the sight of a stack of Raf's school books, she briefly looked to him before moving the books to the back seats.

"Well, look at that school helps you out after all." She said lightly before hopping into the driver's seat.

And knowing that Ratchet was a stubborn bot Bumblebee made no sign of hesitation as he begun to move off, slightly picking up the dust, leaving Ratchet to be alone with himself and any thoughts he had at that moment.

"Now with this new base, i think we should get straight to making a new look, Con style isn't exactly hopeful." Ellen started with, laying back.

"This whole thing has been pretty upsetting huh?" Raf said trailing his eyes over a certain area on her face.

She brushed a finger under her eyes feeling that dryness of old tears then shook her head, "it happens." She said.

Raf looked to the floor as he left his mouth opening and closing to how unsure if he was to speak or not, "I'm worried to ask, but..."

She looked at him, "best to answer those worries, go ahead i'm listening."

"we left first, did the others...?"

Her expression didn't change, she knew what he was going to ask and didn't let up, "Jack, Arcee, Bulkhead, Miko, Smokescreen, Me and Ratchet all got out." She said simply nodding her head.

"And, Optimus? He must've left last." Bee asked though she hoped he wouldn't and he himself cringed as soon as he spoke that sentence, but he was concerned for his wellbeing also.

"He, stayed behind, to make sure the Decepticons didn't follow." She further explained looking to the road ahead, Raf noticed a sort of hardened expression on her face though for her it was hard to keep but she was tired of crying, blind fury and any other response of that matter.

"He would've got out i'm sure he has." Bee said attempting to reassure her, Raf and himself.

"i'm sure he did." She lied making a weak smile; she didn't want to mention that sole crushing feeling from before, it killed her, though even if she thought of all the possibilities of his survival there was this constant answer of 'No' to every thought.

"For sure." Raf added lightly patting her arm, "so know where the Harbinger is by any chance?" he asked making light conversation.

"Raf, i have to be honest with you, I can't think, i try to focus on something only to stare off into empty space." She admitted cringing.

"If it's because you're worried about Optimus..." he started.

When he said that she wanted to say, "No, Raf before i felt this terrible feeling of doubt, no hope and remorse, no one was at base besides Dad, he was struck down with something other then a usual punch in the face. Something I've never felt before from him, and i have to admit it was too much for me to handle, but i assure you i won't burden you." Instead, "so where are we headed Bee? You've been there before." she said, she chose to be resilient about the subject especially to Raf and when they find them Jack and Miko also.

"Sure i have the co-ordinates in my memory banks."

"You brought your bag?" Raf asked noting it was still on her back.

"Just with a few things." She said patting it, to break down in front of Ratchet was one thing but he's seen her cry many times as a kid so it wasn't as bad. But in front of Jack, Miko and Raf? She wouldn't want them to look at her again for it.

"It may take a good few hours before we get there, you guys should get some rest." Bee said.

"Yeah..." She said looking slightly over her shoulder, "i hope Ratchet comes to his senses. I can't lose him too." she thought.

"He knows where to find us." Raf said.

"Yeah he's probably just being his grumpy self, that's all." Bee added.

She huddled up in a foetal position as she rested against the window, as much as she tried they were still trying to convince her, trying to understand and they probably did, but she doesn't want their understandment just to be left alone, because there comforting words meant well but they can't heal. "It's so dark." She thought though she wasn't referring to the night.

"You think the others are trying to find us?" Raf asked lying back in the chair.

She shifted her head slightly to give her attention, "Of course, i bet they've already found each other like we have." She said. "hey Bumblebee, nice idea with the whole reverting colours thing."

"Thanks, i'm still looking good though right?" he asked.

"Well, you only need to convince yourself." She weakly jested before moments later she fell back into slumber despite the muffled voices continuing the conversation.

Raf looked to the dash board as though he and Bumblebee were exchanging glances, "Bee, i think she's asleep."

"Faster than i do." He said.

"As strange as this sounds, but it's like she doesn't know what's going on." He said.

"Yeah...a little strange." He thought, though Bee's seen this many times, he wasn't sure if it was stubbornness or something else but when something upset her she'd keep to herself and it was only to Optimus that she was open about her troubles which slightly troubled him, she'd mess around with him from time to time but there was no genuine talk, that he could do with Raf, having your own human charge, it seems to only work that way. "She'll be alright."


Ellen had dreamed that trip, just another dull, hot day at the missile silo, nothing huge, nothing drastic, just them, but it was Arctic exploration, Arcee, Optimus and her were to go into the Antarctic, the dream showed her when they were at near death and they were discussing their fate, if Arcee and Optimus were to join with the Allspark, and she could not? To spend an eternity, forever separated?

"D-Dad? T-The worst part f-for me is, that when y-you guys are one with the Allspark, I'll be somewhere...else. I couldn't really c-call it...Heaven, w-without you..."

"Do not be afraid Ellen. if fate is kind to us, we will be reunited."

There was that feeling of warmth in that dream, but even still with the theories, she was still doubtful. Unfortunately that warmth disappeared almost immediately as she woke up the instant she felt and heard the engines turn off, looking around she lightly thought that they were in the Sea of Rust before she gave Raf a light nudge on the shoulder, "Raf, wake up."

"H-Huh? What? We're here already?" he said reaching for his glasses inside his pocket.

"A two hour trip, not bad for where it is." She said looking at the clock on the dash board. She then stepped out of Bumblebee as she put her hands behind her back stretching, then did the same with her legs and arms. As she twisted her hips she looked ahead noticing half of what was left of the Harbinger, coated with the sprinkle of the ground, and again that image, made it seem like there were in the Sea of Rust but of course highly unlikely, "Bee. Maybe you should scout the place out before we go in, for all we know they could be in there, especially if it still holds their technology...but then again who would leave a resourceful base holding Decepticon tech, a Groundbridge and..." She stopped as Raf gave a shrugged gesture, "Right, only him. Perhaps if things didn't work out with Megatron again, he'd have a trump card."

"Right, well, you and Raf stay out of sight I'll give you the all clear." Bee said as they waited, it was just about dawn as the place was lit up with the sun, she noticed a slight breeze as a scatter of dust was caught in the wind.

"lets make the most the this day, see what we can get done." She said almost whispering that sentence as she watched the horizon.

"If we can get the Groundbridge up, we can look for the others but what if it's another continent? Why did we have to go first?" he said.

She smiled inside, "Raf, youngest goes first. And about the whole continent thing, we needed to be able to regroup as soon as possible doesn't really work out well if they were sent to Europe or Australia, but you keep trying the conspiracy sites, the news, while i try to find the others, even if they left vehicle tracks i should be able to get a basic start, subtle signals left so units could regroup." She said, but she knew better, it would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack but she'd give anything a shot.

"Hey at least Bumblebee can come with you." He said.

Fear took grasp on her chest as she placed firm hands on his shoulder, "No, Raf, he can stay here and protect you from any intruders; we're not completely safe out here." She said sternly as her breathing was loud enough for him to hear. "Oh that reminds me." she said changing identities as she pulled her bag onto the floor. "You had anything to eat, or drink?"

"Well, i had something from what my Mom made but that was only because i had too, but nothing for at least twelve hours." He said joking around.

"Here." She said handing him a breakfast bar, "I've got some more it should be enough, though i only found a bottle of water, but i have some rehydration packets. Man breakfast bars seem to last an eternity must be why i put them in here." She added reading the use by date, 1999. "Well, i can cross off 'eating history' off my list of things to do." She thought, she must've put these bars in as a kid, the time when apocalyptic movies were being made to make her paranoid. "I always thought that these things could last forever."

Raf put the bar in his pocket, "they do, i know, and i didn't even get ill...I'll save it when i'm feeling a little weak in the knee's" Raf then gave the place a look over himself before making himself serious, "Ellen? I need you to be honest with me, now i know i'm the youngest but that doesn't matter when your part of a team, so, are you okay? I mean really?"

"I am...fine." She said though he tilted his head to her.

"he'll be alright; he's always been in these situations." He said.

"Yes i know..." she said before walking off in a random direction out of frustration, that same record again that 'he will be fine', she walked off, she didn't want to frustrate that onto him. "Come on Raf don't get diabetic on me, best to just, look forward instead of back alright?" she calmly said but it came off as a light scold as Raf's expression fell slightly.

"Mmm..." Ellen frustrated to herself, "Raf..."

"Guys..." Bee started motioning us over, "areas clear, no Cons in sight but i found the Groundbridge it's not online but the control panel is working."

"let's see if we can get it going again, right Raf?" she said, at the moment she was just carrying on, giving herself something to do instead of stopping, she knew if she did she would just collapse again.

"I'll give it a shot." Raf replied determined but he knew that she was dodging the subject again.


What was best to greet the three in another dark hour? The dark welcoming on the Harbinger though Bees headlights helped, it still felt eerie as the trio followed Bumblebee's steps, "we have a place to be now." Raf noted keeping spirits high.

"The purple lighting, Cons have a thing for purple right?" Bee said lifting the mood also, they weren't letting up on the reassurance, she tried to act normal for a reason, she could understand why they did so though, the thought of if they were in her shoes, and they expected her to be a little more, upset? "Here it is, in the ships laboratory." Bumblebee said bowing slightly to the two like a waiter to a table, the rooms ceiling was much lower than the missile silo, the compact feeling to the area made Bumblebee slightly tighten his form. "Not exactly designer rooms huh?" he jested to himself.

"Yeah, pretty small, if you looked at what we did have." Ellen noted. Going from high ceiling and spacious room's human bases were looking pretty good right now to them, "if it wasn't for the glow of the screen i couldn't see my hand in front of my face."

Raf threw his bag to one side as he shifted his glasses up and down pondering as he was known to do, "Bee, lift me up there." He said as he did so being very careful with how he handled his charge. "Let's see..." he started, as he used the tip of his foot to tread lightly on buttons but quickly grew accustomed to it.

Ellen watched Raf use the keyboard as a dance mat as she wandered into thought, and as well as what she found in her bag had triggered old memories again of what she would escape to in these times, times were harder now, the Cons had power in there favour yet again but each time they did so seemed to heighten in bleakness. And that often led to the others having to up there game, Raf had more responsibility as well as confidence and awareness, Miko realized the cost at stake and the dangers, Jack matured and could analyze the situation as well despite under pressure. Ellen tried to help, each time upping her game.

She often thought about how she managed to go from a shy, vulnerable little girl, to who she was now, but with each event, losing her parents, her arm, the Star Saber, 'Starlight', it didn't stop there as she came to realize...

...

As quickly as it happened a new phase of her life started, childhood ended for her at twelve, she was none the wiser about her life and it had never crossed her mind that she would need to rely on herself sometime, but only until an Autobot had approached her with a weapon and casually introduced her into some friendly target practice, having her wield a loaded gun abruptly thrown at her, "now don't be afraid of it, you're in control of it all the time, know where your finger is and only pull the trigger if you intend to harm someone."

"i-it's pretty heavy." And she remembered how heavy it was and how she could barely keep it from the ground.

"hold that thing as long as a month and you'll be swinging it like rope." something was different about what she was given, it wasn't human weaponry, it was something she would often see in movies or were described of in stories things humans would normally try and imagine what Alien weaponry would look like of an advanced race.

"I still don't..."

"Ellen, its not always going to be about running and hiding, if you were ever cornered you'll need to fight back, and i know humans mean well, but i think only by our hands can you oppose them."

"if you think so, but I'm not sure if i could ever..." maybe she never thought of things because of what Optimus told her and how sure he sounded with what he promised her, but others were unconvinced if he could truly deliver that, that no Con could harm her...

"Ellen?" came Raf's voice.

"Hmm? What's wrong?"

"The procedure? Ratchet would take?" he said and by his expression it sounded as though he had to repeat himself.

" O-Oh yeah, yeah sure Raf erm, let me think oh what did Ratchet do? recalibrate? No its power supply should be, n-no that's not it either, hmmm." She folded her arms as she tracked Raf's expression, "what were you going to do Raf?" she asked noticing the wheels turn in his head.

"I was going to have a little work around it see what i can do first." He said.

"Anything i can do to help?" she asked.

"There should be the main power line around here somewhere buts it's really dark in here." He said trying to look for the said object himself.

"Bee, headlights over here." She said motioning him over to behind the control panel, a glow of blue had caught her eyes three vials of Energon all at different levels seemed to be keeping the power online. "Hmm, there's still some Energon powering this thing." She pointed before directing Bumblebee around the area.

It turned deathly silent all of a sudden as all three beings slightly cringed, letting all that has happened start to set in and made them slightly weary, "Ellen, if it's just us, what do we do from here?" Raf asked as he tapped away.

"You are, asking...m-my heads all over the place Raf, heh, i know not surprising there..."

"You can be honest with me." He interrupted.

Her eyes slightly darkened as he said that, Raf isn't naive he knows how serious this is, she was his age when she realized it too, but she kind of wished to delay the inevitable but she also knew that she wasn't exactly Raf at his age neither Raf could probably handle it better, "When, Dad lost his memory at least there was some hope of his return but now..." she couldn't bring herself to say it, no, she won't say that to him, "let's find that source shall we? One thing at a time." She said and merely continued her set task, she slightly hunched over looking over the floor, this place needed allot of organizing, pieces of anything metal was hiding round there only a few things were fully intact. "Oh..." she announced mistaking a long thick cable as a pipe, "thick wire, it leads to the other side of the room, here we go Raf, Bumblebee I'll find the input i think you know what to do when i do."

"Sure, i am a little taller aren't i?" he jested getting the hint.

"Headlights now." she said assertively.

Bumblebee rolled his optics, "Alright." He said lightly.

"Right abit, down abit, left, left."

"I'm going left." He moaned.

"Keep going, come on."

"Urgh, this feels familiar. Why is it I'm always getting bossed around?" He sighed before awing at what he had found. "Okay, found it."

"How's your end doing Raf?" she called.

"I think I've got the general idea, like a reboot, plug it in and it should get the power up."

"Right...shove it right here Bee." She said emphasizing her finger pointing.

Bumblebee picked it up as he plugged it in giving Raf the thumbs up, "it's good to go." He said.

"Hold it right there Bee." Raf said as he started using the control panel with his feet again, and using the touch screen also, "and, powering up." He said. The environment brightened as the power seemed to start working again though it was short lived as it fell even darker then before. Bumblebee slumped, "keep trying we'll figure it out."

"Applying force usually works as well, might as well try every method." Ellen started throwing her leg back.

"y-yep, ep, ep!" came the familiar moaning voice of Ratchet as he emerged from the shadows, "your miss calibrating the Energon transducer."

"Ratchet." Raf announced relived.

"You took your anti-depressants." Ellen added genuinely relieved.

He lightly shoved Bumblebee with his arm to one side as he approached the control panel, "Now step out of my way so i can work." He said grumpily as he started tapping away at the panel, evidently he lifted his vision to them as he produced a gentle smile. They both glowed to his rarely given expression, "Raphael." He started lightly, "I'll need you to work on the control system."

"Sure thing." He said making his way down.

Ellen sat down out of his way as she let her legs hunch, "hit hard huh?" she said to him, a lot of weight slipped off her shoulders to the sight and sound of him, she never really like the idea of being solo.

"Not anymore, I'm just a tired old Mech who is sick of fighting." He humored himself, "how are you doing?" he asked.

"Well, I'm enduring the best i can." She said as he dropped his expression, "but, that smile of yours could revitalize anything, even Cybertron." She said grinning as she stood up.

He rolled his optics as he lightly scoffed, "the definition of 'you' must be under melodramatic."

"Had us going for a while as your alter ego 'Doctor Doom' huh?" she walked to the edge as she looked down.

"Wait, where are you going?" he demanded.

"Well now that we have our main slave bot and our engineer i thought i would check this place out, maybe find some things of use to us." she said brushing herself down only to have Ratchet place a hand out in her path.

"ep, ep, you can't go alone, when we've got this Groundbridge up and running then we can explore this old rust bucket until then, stay here." He said.

Ellen sat back down lightly as she rolled her eyes, "Thanks Ratchet." She said appreciating the firm hand. "I'm just, trying to keep myself busy even if i'm just rambling on about pointless tasks to do."

"i-i wouldn't want anything happening to you as well, on a number of occasions i have turned my back and you children are up to no good, t-that is with good intention, t-the point is! I'll be, watching you more closely now, as 'temporal' guardian." He said going through a different number of tones in one sentence, she exchanged smiles with him as he shook his head lightly getting back to focusing, "anyway! i can get this back up without ease, Bumblebee help Raphael with the central nerve panel as well no doubt Starscream at least put the Groundbridge in lockdown though i doubt it very much." he said as she wandered over to him and lent up against him like a lost puppy. He grumbled something to himself as he tried to remain in check, "p-perhaps, you should, sit this out." He said hesitantly.

"Ratchet." She hissed quietly, "not here alright, I'm fine don't make me dead weight, please."

"I'm not intentionally, but i don't think your...fit enough to carry out tasks at the moment." He said patting her on the head as Raf and Bee were briefly facing the opposite direction.

"What would you have me do? Go back to fear, and remorse, no!" she stopped as she had forgotten how small of a space she was in, and felt Raf and Bumblebee's vision on her, she brushed herself down as she tried again, "Just focus on making this team whole again, that's what I'm holding onto at the moment." She said as she looked at Raf, "and of course you guys."

"Not exactly a team if we don't have our leader." He noted regretting the expression she gave him on that note.

"And i agree with that, but my position was temporal just to stop you guys from turning into non-functional drones." She said lightly impersonating a wandering zombie.

"We were not acting like drones." He argued as she let her lip curl slightly to his typical response.

She rolled her eyes, "Right Ratch you were the most calmest being i ever did see, anyway I'm too wrapped up in emotion myself to be able to trust anything that comes out of my own mouth, no, there's gotta be someone else." She said eyeing up the two bots.

"I'm in no hurry to be anything else." Bee put his case forward somehow feeling her eyes on him.

"What? Not a career bot i take it?" she jested before turning to Ratchet, "was there any head count on the Ark?" she asked.

"I think we'd be here a while if i gave you every name, besides it's not as though we can contact them, that is if some have survived." He said solemnly.

"There's still gotta be some left behind on Cybertron, someone willing to help, didn't you say some were left behind because you ran out of time or something?" She said pondering.

"now you're just daydreaming again." He said.

She placed a finger under her chin as she started thoughtful thinking, "I think as soon as Megatron built that fortress he moved right in as well if you know what i mean?" she said able to ponder for that moment.

"No." He said flatly.

"The Nemesis, it'll probably be like there attic now, for storage, All the relics, and...How strong are Insecticon pods? a-anyway they must have the Spacebridge too...all in one place." She said.

"Thanks for the reminder of what we don't have." He said.

She then shook her head, though she still pondered about that thought to herself, "just saying, I'm giving an assessment, even if you don't want to hear it, it's like that."

"And that's the way it is. Huh!" Bumblebee sang.

Ratchet raised an eyebrow to them both, "I'll get round to examining your heads later, but right now don't expect me to let you just mope and, well spout nonsense." He said to her.

"Hmm." She said draping her legs over the edge, she did feel slight embarrassment because of before, when she was, not herself. "Hey, Ratch before when i was..."

"I hope you didn't take on board what i said, like you normally would." he called focusing his attention on the screen.

"I always listen to you Ratch even when it looks like I'm not, i go by what i say but i also listen to others, but maybe I'm easy influenced by what people say?" She said.

"No, you're supposed to trust me and what i say, i had no right to cut your hopes down and in the state you were in, i was just...bitter, and a coward." He admitted.

"Everyone has their breaking point Ratch, we can't expect you to be perfect but a coward is definitely not what you are. Now if you were walking around with no troubles, a big smile on your face, and loved everything, then i think I'd run in the opposite direction screaming for my Cybertronian Mommy...You didn't exactly mince words though, you cut me down pretty hard." She replied as he stopped typing for a moment, "but hey I'm used to that from you."

"P-ffft, must you make me out to be some primal beast?" he scoffed.

"Only messing." She said wavering her hand up and down.

Well then, if you're quite finished, let's...defy evil, shall we?" He said speeding up his typing skills.

Her expression was small and her cheeks slightly blushed, it was always a personal achievement if she could ever get Ratchet to listen to her on those rare occasions, "Ratchet, you..."

"You just, be sure to stay close to me alright?"

"I can go solo." She shrugged.

"I'm afraid to let you be 'solo' period." He scolded.

"What do you mean?" he wasn't sure if she was playing dumb or the question was legitimate.

"What? you think i let your change in 'status' go unnoticed? Those things you said, the way you acted, i have never seen you like that before, well except during that human phase that you refer to as..."

"STOP, right there." She expelled, "what? You think I'm going to go on a killing spree?" she lightly scoffed.

"I don't know what you're going to end up doing; I'm just slightly concerned that's my job as a medic after all." He said.

"Think what you want but I'm fine." She said as she thought again, putting her hands in her pocket she remembered she still had her phone there, "there must be some source of help out there." She stared at her phone as Ratchet watched her intently even much so he couldn't spare to multitask , though she caught his optics as she forced it down from her eyes, "No. t-though..." she thought about contact again it was just one chance maybe if she was wrong, she could still try, "even if it were just your, d-dying voice, at least i would hear it..." her eyes darted around and felt as confused and hurt as Bulkhead did when he watched the Brave Little Toaster. And in a sudden outburst she threw her phone across the room as she held her shoulders noticing the bag straps she took her bag down, "i need to take myself to the next level, but i have no way of hooking myself up to Starlight, so i guess I'll have to use this...and take an initiative by going against the team and making myself involved as myself."

"Ellen." She snapped from her thoughts. "I repeated your name three times; i thought you were having a vision." Ratchet said.

"selective hearing i guess Ratchet." She said looking to the ceiling, "you want me to do something?"

"I...need you to operate the control panel with me, there's a security precaution that requires two users. I have only got two hands after all." He said yet again watching her intently.

"Sure." she said leaning on her knees as she looked over the pad.

"When i tell you, hit these two simultaneously." He said as she placer two hands on the set buttons.

"If i have to, i will."

"Killing someone is never easy, despite what he or she position they have put you in, that one kill will linger in your life forever."

"But if you're not there one day and you're somewhere else."

"You will not be in that position."

"You're promising her the impossible."

"Now...now. Ellen now!"

"Hmm?"

The room went partially black again, "Primus, you have to try to concentrate, another fail like that and we'd have a complete systems malfunction." He said trying not to be too harsh this time around.

"I-I'll do better, let's go again." She stuttered.

"Maybe you should..." Raf started.

"Go again!" she snapped at him, before realizing who she had snapped at. "I-I'm sorry Raf...I-I can do this. Come on." She beckoned looking to the floor as she held her hands firmly on the control panel, she swallowed a lump in her throat as well as feeling anxious, she sighed as she stood up, "I'll, be outside..."

"No you..." Ratchet started to protest.

"I'm outside." She repeated disappearing out of room. Ratchet looked to Bumblebee as he gave a subtle flick of his head in the direction she had gone.

"I'll be right back." He said.


A/N I'm going to push Ellen a little more in upcoming chapters, if i've hinted enough in this one, thought with the next chapter Bumblebee will be having a little talk of her 'fear of death' where he will go, where she will go. also i hope this chapter was alright despite the atmosphere? but you know the saying it can only get worse before it gets better, but i think the chapter before was the worse part and this is just a little bit better? also obviously we have the team reunited in the next bit, hmm Ultra Magnus. :P please R + R 3