I was walking home from the HOB and had just finished trading with Greasy Sae. It was late at night, later than I usually go out hunting. I can't stop thinking about Peeta and the life that we now live. His "episodes" still happen everyone once in a while but they've been getting better… we haven't. I walk on eggshells around him, scared that I might trigger something. But he still comforts me every night. My nightmares seem to be the only thing that brings us together.
I step inside and have buttercup hiss at me, our relationship never having changed. I pour some more milk into his bowl, seeing as how it was almost empty. I take off my dad's hunting jacket and hang it in the closet. My boots come off next as I leave them at the foot of the steps. I turn off all the lights downstairs and slowly make my way upstairs, trying not to wake him. When I open my bedroom door, he's there on my bed. Sheets wrapped around his shirtless form, a light snore coming out of his mouth. I remove the rest of my clothing and change into one of his shirts; a habit that I became accustomed to since he began sleeping here.
I pull down the sheets and slide into my side of the bed. I scoot closer to him and turn around so that my back is pressed up against his warm chest. His arms involuntarily wrap around my waist as his snuggles closer into my back. This was our routine and I would never change it.
It's dark. I'm running in the arena as mutts chase after me. They corner me and I turn around with no place else to go. They're getting closer and closer. Blood drips off their teeth and they inch closer. The one in middle prepares to attack. He lunges forward, his teeth aimed for my throat…
I sit up. My body drenched in a cold sweat. My heart beating erratically and my breath labored coming out in pants.
"Katniss…" I hear him mumble as he searches for me with his arm. Once he realizes I'm not there he opens his eyes and is met with my crazed ones.
"Another nightmare." It wasn't even a question.
I nod my head and he pulls me down to lay next to him. This time my head rests on his chest and his hand rubs circles on the small of my back. He doesn't ask, he already knows. He starts to hum to me as my eyes began to grow tired… The last thing I remember was his lips lightly brushing my forehead.
When I wake up he's gone. But the smells of cheese buns fill my nose as I notice my bedroom door is open and I can hear him in the kitchen. I walk into the bathroom and brush my teeth. I take a good look at myself in the mirror and brush my hair into a braid. I sigh. It's not going to get much better than this.
In the kitchen, Peeta is walking back and forth in between the oven and the cooling rack. And consistently making more batches.
On the table a plate of cheese buns and some juice are waiting for me. I eat in silence and just watch him as he works. I find myself entranced by the sight of his muscles flexing as he kneads the dough with such perfection.
I finish eating and place my plate in the sink. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist in thanks and lightly kiss his neck.
Maybe my grip was too tight; maybe I shouldn't have snuck up behind him. But I feel his back tense and his arms stop working. His hands ball into fists, his jaw is clenched, and his breathing becomes later.
"Peeta?" I whisper hoping that he'll come back to me. "Peeta it's just me. I wanted to thank you for my breakfast… please come back to me."
"Get off of me." His says harshly. I unwrapped my arms from around him and slowly back away.
I knew that there would be no way to get back to where we were before. Not when the capitol changed him forever. I could only hope that one day maybe his episodes would be forever gone and that things would never get physical.
But then again, the odds never were in my favor.