I felt like doing a sad oneshot. So, uh. Here it is.
Disclaimer: I do not own Summer Wars
He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't care. He wanted to slip away, and that's all that mattered. He ran across the hardwood flooring of the house. Where he was going didn't concern him. He just ran, and ran, away from the house; away from the noise. Away from Kenji and Natsuki. He couldn't take it.
It was all over, at this point. The chaos, Love Machine. But still, something stirred inside him at the thought of their happiness. Something he couldn't explain. Kazuma kneeled down behind a tree, gasping and catching his breath, exhaustion from the run gripping at his lungs. But even that feeling couldn't barricade the ache in his chest, the feeling that remained after the moment he had seen Natsuki and Kenji kiss - long after. He thought to himself. He questioned his feelings. He questioned whether or not he should go back. School was going to start soon, he couldn't just run away from home. He questioned whether anyone noticed him run away, or if anyone cared.
He could understand if they didn't, he was a quiet boy most of the time.
His fists clenched at his sides as he rested against the tree, anger rising in his stomach. He wasn't angry at anyone, other than himself. His head hit the warm bark of the tree's base, as he arched his neck back, looking at the sky and scowling. Warm tears flooded his eyes, staining his cheeks. He wanted to scream. He quickly wiped them away, but they kept pouring. It was too late now. It had been a long time since he cried; since he literally, legitimately sobbed. He only gets like this when his parents belittle him. But why now? Why did such a common thing stir him up so much?
He couldn't love Kenji, could he? They were both men. It was an absurd thought. But he couldn't just ignore the feeling. Love is love, even if it's one sided, even if it's between two males.
Minutes passed, as the stifled sobs morphed into hours. They must've noticed he disappeared by now, right? Although he did question the IQ level of everyone there - other than Kenji, of course, although he was a bit slow when it came to feelings - they weren't THAT absent minded, were they?
Kazuma watched as the sun fell down, and closed his tired, swollen eyes. The sobs stopped, but the sadness remained. If anything, it deepened with his realization of the situation. He slowly fell asleep against the tree, his heart still so sunken within his chest that he felt as though it might drown in despair.
And he dreamed. His dreams were full of pain, of happiness - it was confusing. Kenji was there; amidst a sky of blue. He was resting his head on Kenji's shoulder. He felt nostalgic, guilty for dreaming about this. His eyes fluttered open, away from sleep. He felt something warm against his cheek. He felt something soft against his legs.
He rubbed his eyes, and surveyed his surroundings.
There he was, still by the tree. He was wearing a grey blanket - taken from one of the futons back at the house. And next to him, was Kenji, asleep. He realized his head was still on Kenji's shoulder, and backed away, his face reddening with embarrassment. But upon noticing Kenji was asleep still, he scooted closer, and shared the blanket.
Even if I can't tell you, I can still have this moment.