Hi everyone, so with permission from Teabags I am finishing some stories since due to some people's hurtful comments and lack of inspiration Teabags cannot continue. I have made some small changes to this story so even if you have read it already you may want to reread it. This will be my first story on fanfiction so please be nice. Although all criticism is welcome if you hate the story then don't read it. I don't want anyone bashing this story. Got it, good. Okay the first 11 chapters all belong to Teabags with my edits after that it's all me.
I do not in any way own Junjou Romantica.
One Penny Short of a Shilling
"Misaki? Misaki are you listening to what I'm saying."
Lifting his head up, Misaki Takahashi, age 18, looked straight into his brother's eyes. Takahiro Takahashi, Misaki's 28 year old brother was afraid, very afraid. Misaki could see the worry written all over his face. Misaki knew what his brother was thinking. He understood that he was a disgrace, a trouble maker and a burden to his brother's family. The guilt Misaki felt made him feel sick to his stomach, but he still managed to give his brother a faint smile before returning his attention to the floor. He could hear his brother sigh heavily. Misaki knew his brother was having a hard time dealing with what he had done and that single action had caused everything to change.
"Misaki I really am trying. I'm trying so hard I don't know what else to do. No matter what I do it's never to your liking."
Takahiro notices Misaki had gone from fiddling his sneakers together to fidgeting with one of the bandages that were tightly wrapped around his arms. Takahiro stared, watching his brother fuss over what he had done to himself. It ripped takahiro's heart to pieces; he never thought it would get so out of hand. He only realized after the fact how blind he had been to the situation. Why had he ignored all those times Misaki said he was feeling "unhappy"?
He was so angry and upset at himself for ignoring his precious baby brother's cries.
"The worst part is Misaki, you don't even understand." Takahiro sniffled
Misaki's throat was dry; he didn't have anything to say. What could he say? He could only apologize so many times. Sorry meant nothing if he didn't mean it, at least not for what his brother felt he should apologize for. Misaki want sorry for trying to end his own life, he was sorry he hadn't succeeded. If there was a God Misaki wanted to know why He had let him keep his life. Why did God not take it like He did to others every day? Why must God forbid him to see his parents who had been dead for about 10 years? Was death too much to ask for? It didn't cost a penny so why wasn't he allowed to die?
Takahiro had had enough of Misaki's silence; he just wanted his brother to speak to him. To say anything, it didn't matter what. Instead anger devoured him. He stood up from his seat and snatched his brother's wrist. The boy didn't dare look his brother in the eye; Misaki couldn't bear to see his pained expression. Misaki thought 'it was my fault, it was all my fault'.
"Speak! Just speak to me Misaki!" Takahiro screamed
Misaki had been startled by his brother shaking him roughly, which caused him to look up at Takahiro. The grip he held on Misaki's still healing wrist hurt. Misaki let out a whine, but it was ignored. "You're so selfish!"
Misaki couldn't win against the tears He was fighting back, they eventually won. Hot tears came running down his cheeks; it was all too much for him. "Y-you're hurting me" Misaki squeaked as He tried his best to pull his brother off his tender arm. But it was no use, the grip was firm and secure. Misaki kept coughing back the tears, pleading for his brother to let go, pleading for his brother to just forget about the whole situation and move on. But Takahiro wouldn't let this one slide so easily.
"This doesn't hurt you as much as it hurts me Misaki!"
Takahiro began to tear up too. He despised himself for doing this to his little brother, but he had to make him understand what he had done was wrong. Takahiro grabbed onto Misaki's other arm and clenching it tightly said "you just don't understand! What would Mom and Dad think about this? They wouldn't want you to be like this Misaki!"
As this was happening, the lounge door swung open and Manami, Takahiro's wife, came into the room. The appalled woman grabbed onto her husband, who was not only out of control but had begun crying himself. As she dragged Takahiro off Misaki, the boy had fallen to his knees onto the floor. Through his hiccupped cries Misaki could hear Manami asking Takahiro to leave the room.
"Um, Misaki-kun, I-I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" Manami voiced softly, though Misaki swore he heard her say "I'm sorry" before closing the door.
The boy's whimpers became shallow, Misaki tried to calm himself down. Taking deep breaths, then exhaling and then taking another deep breath. Misaki covered his hands over his face, hiding himself away from the cruel world. He had never seen Takahiro strike out at him before, but Misaki had been expecting it one day or another. Takahiro was the type to keep his frustration locked away one minute and suddenly explode the next.
"You're so selfish!", "What would Mum and Dad think about this?","You don't even understand" His brother words kept replaying in his mind, over and over again. He couldn't get them out of his head. This caused him to get worked up once again, he knew he had been selfish, he was selfish. Misaki knew his parents would have been devastated and mostly angry at him for being so foolish. Maybe he didn't understand how bad the situation he had put the family through was. Still, Takahiro didn't have to be so hard on him...
"It's all my fault" Misaki murmured.
Wiping away anymore tears that threatened to fall, Misaki heard the door creak open. It was probably Manami, come to fill his head with "hope" and "promise" that the future will be better. Misaki didn't think it would be. He didn't hear the light footsteps walk through the door. To his surprise, the boy felt a soft little hand on the side of his tear stained cheek. He looked up only to find his little nephew staring at him with his wide cinnamon eyes, small thumb tucked into his mouth and pink little nose twitching.
"M-mahiro?" Misaki spoke.
The tiny toddler threw his short arms around Misaki's neck, gently pulling him into a soft hug. Misaki tried to find the strength in his bones to hug his nephew back, as he lifted his arms, he dropped them beside him once again. Misaki was weak; he didn't even have the strength to hug his own nephew. Mahiro pulled away from his uncle. Even though Mahiro was young, he could still see the misery that lay in Misaki's eyes. Mahiro tilted his head to the side, getting a good look at the teenage boy.
"Misa, why you cry ?" Mahiro questioned.
Misaki still found it cute to this day that his nephew couldn't say his name properly yet. So he had ended up being branded with "Misa" since the last syllables were too difficult for him to pronounce.
Mahiro waited for his answer, Misaki didn't exactly know how to explain to his nephew so he could understand. There was only one word he could sum it up with and that was -
"I'm sad" Misaki said, although it sounded more or less like a whisper.
Mahiro reached his small hand over to Misaki's damp cheeks, using his dwarf thumb to wipe away the new tear that was forming in the corner of his eye. Mahiro was so caring and kind for his age, Misaki couldn't help but let out a little chuckle. It sounded false to him, but hopefully it would convince the toddler that he was going to be okay.
"Don't be sad Misa!" Mahiro cooed.
The child beamed at Misaki who then tried to give him a reassuring smile back. He wished he could take his nephew's advice and just be happy. But the reality wasn't that easy. Mahiro gave a sad pout as he saw Misaki's smile wear away quickly. The toddler stretched his arms out widely in front of Misaki and spoke. "If you give me a hug Misa you won't be sad ever again!"
Misaki pulled himself out of the slouched position he was sitting in. Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around the little boy. Mahiro did the same, Misaki welled up once again at the toddler's act of kindness. Mahiro could feel his uncle's shoulders quiver, he heard the soft whimpers and tears he choked back. So he began to pat Misaki's back soothingly.
"Mama does this when I cry Misa" Mahiro said, Misaki adored that he was full of hope. "So it will be okay"
"I wish it was all that simple Mahiro, I really do". Misaki kept this thought to himself, not wanting to worry the child anymore. Both Nephew and Uncle stayed in this spot embracing for a while, Misaki had his arms locked around the toddler not tight, nor loose. But his clinch was stable around the young boy. Misaki thought back to when he was little, when Takahiro had held him like this the exact same way after their parents had died. Now, that was a scar that would never heal in Misaki's heart. He remembered the countless nights he woke up screaming, panicking and crying at ridiculous hours. How he used to barge into Takahiro's room, jumping into His brother's bed and clinging onto him for dear life. Misaki would shriek for hours in Takahiro's arms, telling him how it was his fault that their parents were dead. It was his selfishness that brought them to their death bed that night the car crashed. How he wanted them to come home, just to see him.
Through his tears, Misaki reached his hand onto Mahiro's mop of almond hair. He ruffled it with his fingers in small circles. His nephew was so innocent, so pure and precious. Misaki continued to hold him wanting to protect him from all the horrors in the world. But Misaki knew, just like Takahiro tried to keep his little brother safe. Misaki knew he wouldn't be able to keep Mahiro safe forever.
As this happened, the door opened again.
It was Manami calling for him. Her voice was so soft and caring, Misaki was glad Mahiro had a mother as lovely as her. At times, she herself did remind Misaki of his own mother alot. Even though, she was in fact Misaki's sister in law. She did seem to use her motherly instincts on Misaki a lot. She cooked, cleaned, and washed his clothes. Even listened to what Misaki had to say, but then again. She didn't listen enough.
"I-I think we need to talk, okay?" Manami voiced.
Misaki craned his neck up from over Mahiro's head, only to see the woman hover over him. Even she looked anxious, her eyes much like Takahiro's, nothing but full of worry. Misaki could feel his stomach churn making him feel unwell; he had really damaged the family.
Manami gently pulled Mahiro off Misaki, and then bent down planting a little kiss on her son's forehead. "Mahiro, how about you go to your room and play with your Legos for a little while? Then maybe later, we can all go out for some ice cream!" Manami said enthusiastically.
Mahiro's face lit up for a moment, but then fell back into a sad expression. Mahiro shot a look back Misaki and then back at his mother. "Mama, can Misa come too?"
"Of course!" Manami sang. "Of course he can! Now run along mister!"
Before Mahiro turned to leave he gave Misaki one last quick hug around his neck, before Misaki could even react back, Mahiro had let go and ran out the door. Followed by his mother, pretending to be a monster, giving a few false "roars" to chase the hyper active toddler out the door who couldn't help but give high pitched screams and giggles. Misaki watched this happen, his mouth twitched at the corners. He wanted to smile, but he couldn't bring himself to do so.
"If only a bowl of ice cream could fix the problem" Misaki said under his breath.
A few minutes later, Manami strode back into the lounge, closing the door behind her. Misaki didn't want to look at her. Manami however sat at the side of Misaki on the sofa, Misaki could feel her breathing tickle the hairs on the back of his neck. Placing a hand on Misaki's shoulder, she stroked it sympathetically.
"Misaki-kun, I know everything must feel as if it's the end of the world right now" she stopped for a moment; Misaki continued to wait for her to finish. "But, Takahiro is only concerned; we all care about you so much Misaki-kun".
Again, like before with Takahiro, Misaki didn't say anything back to Manami either.
"We all love you"
Misaki swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat, rubbing against his adam's apple laboriously. It didn't matter how many times he tried to swallow, it only repeated the pattern of coming back at the word "Love" Misaki bit his lip, biting into it harder and harder until it drew blood.
"Love?" Misaki muttered "None of you listened when I told you all how unhappy I was! If you and Nii-chan loved me, you would of fucking listened!"
Manami shifted uncomfortably. The woman was lost for words, it was rare that Misaki snapped at her. Wait, no, Misaki had never snapped at her. Not once, until now. Instead of saying anything, Manami reached her hand down, moving away the couple of stands of hair that stuck down on Misaki's tear stained cheeks, then tucking the strands behind the teen's ear. Manami rubbed the side of Misaki's cheek with the back of her hand, her touch was comforting. Just like his Mother's almost. Misaki would never forget her hands or her touch either.
The woman then moved away from the sofa, but stopped as she reached the door. "Manami"
Manami instantly spun on her heels and turned her attention back on Misaki, who was now looking at her straight in the eye.
"I'm sorry" Misaki mumbled now feeling guilty.
Manami then gave Misaki a small smile before heading out the lounge, just as Misaki thought he was alone, Manami popped her head around the door beaming at Misaki.
"Misaki-kun! Would you like to get your coat and some shoes on? We're going to get some ice cream!" She said happily.
Misaki knew it was most likely that she was putting on a mask behind her actual feelings. Manami was determinded to keep the mood happy in the house, not wanting anymore arguments or fights. That was exactly what Misaki had to do. He had to put on his mask too.
The troubled teenager gave Manami a little smile and nodded without saying another word.
It was probably for the best.