A/N: This is in honor of the season finale tomorrow. Just a little something I came up with. I'm so nervous about it. This isn't how I think or hope things will go, this is just a lithe inspiration.
Summary: In an instant, she was in his arms, all thoughts of what was best and what he should have wanted dashed from his brain. She smelled like she ought to smell and she tasted just the way she did in his dreams.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. All is Chuck and Blair and Gossip Girl. No beta so all the mistakes are mine
It was a beautiful city. The lights reflected on the water and everything shone with a sparkling veneer.
Chuck hated it. He hated it with all the words he could never verbalize. It always reminded him of her. With all the words he could never say to her, Monaco was the epitome of everything he couldn't have. All that existed was her. All he saw was her.
Even when he was young he couldn't escape it. Sixteen and he ran because her. It was all because of her—her on the arm of his best friend, smiling mockingly at him from the New York Times. He had to bury his head in sandy beaches and sandy haired women but nothing ever helped.
He hid behind his own mocking smirk, but it was no good. It was no good when she had that canary diamond on her finger and leaving him forever.
And it was no good now.
He looked across the city from his hotel room and he felt sick. None of this was right. None of this was good. And he should have known better.
He should have known that he couldn't run anymore.
But even at the knock on his door, he couldn't believe it. He was doing his best not to be sucked in anymore. He was doing his best to be better.
Somehow, she found him.
"What are you doing here?"
She stood in front of him, hair practically black in the darkness and her big eyes wide and hopeful.
He should have slammed the door in her face.
But he could never say no to her.
"I had to tell you something."
Chuck didn't respond. He had to be cold. He had to push her away. He couldn't let this happen again. But she pushed her way inside without an invitation and he knew he wasn't as mature as he hoped he could be. He could never turn her away.
Even after everything.
"A phone couldn't suffice?"
He was telling the truth. He didn't think she would come all this way. He didn't think she would follow. She couldn't. She could have claimed to want him in the moment the way she always did, but it would be easy for her to change her mind. And he couldn't go through that heartache again.
She was serious. He saw the fire in her eyes that he hadn't seen in so long, and it gave him pause.
"What is it, Blair?" Chuck asked.
She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came. She looked helpless and she stared at him as if he knew the words and could give them to her.
"You must have come this far for something," Chuck said. "What is it, Blair? Just say it."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth then her lips were pressed feverishly against his. His body reacted instantly; grappling for her with a passion he thought was gone.
He knew better. He had made a promise to himself that he couldn't do this to himself anymore. But his brain was making decisions that he couldn't help and suddenly she was pressed against the door.
"What?" Chuck said, breathing heavily.
"That," Blair answered. "It's just that."
Chuck narrowed his eyes at her.
"Words always get in the way of us, don't they?" she asked. He was still panting, the taste of her that he refused to admit he missed permeating his tongue. "Empty words."
He never stood a chance.
In an instant, she was in his arms, all thoughts of what was best and what he should have wanted dashed from his brain. She smelled like she ought to smell and she tasted just the way she did in his dreams.
He thought it had been the end.
Maybe it was.
It was the end of her confusion.
They fumbled in the dark, but it had a grace that only hormonal teenagers could, finding everything for the first time with a broken chastity belt. It had been a year and for some reason, he wasn't afraid.
He had always been afraid. Afraid she would leave him, afraid that he wasn't good enough, afraid she would change her mind.
But they were alone here. The entire world was with them there in that room. This wasn't an accident. This wasn't some random act.
Her fingernails curled into his back, just the way he remembered and for the first time in years, he felt at home again.
There was no fear. There couldn't be any when this was the best thing to happen. It was right.
They were in a bed. They weren't ashamed. They were together. And as they rolled and bit and groaned, he knew she wouldn't slither into her dress like nothing had ever happened.
"What are you doing here?"
He had thought that she was asleep. They way her body molded to his so perfectly and her hair sprawled across his pillow.
He should have remembered. It was the one thing that he always valued about them, but always took him by surprise. She knew him. And she always knew everything.
He sat up.
The sheets fell from him as he looked for his clothes that had fallen off along the way.
"Gambling," Chuck said distantly.
He wasn't doing it to punish her. He didn't think that she deserved it. He could never think that. He could never do that.
But that moment where she entered his room and told him everything he needed to know without saying a word, he had forgotten.
He had forgotten that she couldn't be here.
He stopped. She spoke his name that way so rarely. She knew how it got to him. She knew how to manipulate him. But she wasn't doing it to be manipulative.
He finally turned to face her.
She was just doing it to make him listen.
"Don't do that," she whispered. "Please."
He didn't pick up his clothes. But he couldn't go sink down into her again either. He just sat looking at her.
"You were right before."
"There shouldn't be any secrets between us," she said. "It's just us in here. It's always been just us. And I'm never taking that away."
She neared him. He wished that she wouldn't. She knew what it did to him. She knew that he could never say no.
"You don't need to do that," Blair whispered. "You don't need to hide anything from me."
All he could do was look at her. She always had that gift. She could always look at someone and see everything that they were worth.
"I understand," she said. "I can help you."
That time he had to push her away.
"No," he finally said. "You can't."
"Chuck." She could always emphasize so much emotion in just his name. She said it so succinctly. He wished he could get away with it. She never let him get away with anything. "You always liked to gamble, but casinos were never your style."
"I need to do this," he said simply.
For some reason she was smiling.
"Why?" he asked her. He didn't need to elaborate.
"Because you're not hiding from me."
"Will you hide from me again?"
"Last night it would have mattered."
"It matters to me."
"I'm never going away again," Blair said. "Now tell me."
"I need to do this," he repeated.
"Are you going to come back to me?" she asked softly.
Chuck stared at her. She leaned forward, stroking back his hair.
"You know I'll come after you," Blair smiled. "If you ever get lost, I'll come for you."
He was silent for a moment.
"You thought I wouldn't."
"Is that an accusation?" he asked.
"It's a promise," Blair said. "I know you. And I know you need to do what you need to do. So if you sink away from me, I'm just going to pull you right back."
"How do you do that?"
Blair smiled uncertainly. His heart jolted at it. Even now she could look so shy and innocent like she had no idea her effect on him.
"I know you, Chuck Bass," Blair said. "And I love you."
"I have to get it back."
Blair took his hand. "Then we'll get it back together."
"You knew I was here." It was the first time he smiled that morning.
"I knew you'd go after him," Blair said. "He's your family and he took everything from you."
"Not everything," Chuck said quietly.
There was that smile again.
"You're my family, Blair."
Her fingers curled around his.
"You know it is," she answered. "It was always right."
They were the only words he needed.