Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me in any way, shape or form. Period.
I am sorry this took a while longer to get out, I was having bad writers block and kept going back and forth about how to advance this chapter. I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Going back and reading what you had said really helped me get back on track and write this. 3
I hope you enjoy this chapter as well, it was a struggle but I think it is ok. XD
Izaya laid there on the hotel bed, his eyes blankly staring up at the ceiling. It had been like this for a few days now, and the informant had no idea what to do with himself. Maroon eyes glanced over at the curtains, blowing slightly in the breeze, and he could smell that it had rained, or maybe it was still raining? He didn't know, and he honestly didn't feel like getting out of bed to find out.
His world has literally stopped because of the events that were going on around him. If it had been an angry client, or some other type of information related issue, he'd understand hiding away like this. But no, this all revolved around him and a certain blond man who he'd been foolish enough to be honest with. His whole world has come to a stop because of one wrong decision, one mistake that he wished he could take back… but he knew that he couldn't. Izaya thought that, if he just let it rest for a few days, Shizuo would forget everything and that life would go back to how it was.
Izaya had been wrong, yet again.
He couldn't go home because he knew that man was still looking for him. He was afraid to go out and do any jobs because he was afraid to run into him. Izaya was even avoiding even looking at one of his phones. Because out of all of the devices he owned, that was the number that Shizuo knew. That phone was only a few feet away, flashing with unanswered messages. All of those messages were from the one person he didn't want to speak to. In short, Shizuo was trying to find him and he had yet to give up. That had destroyed Izaya's theory about the man's short attention span and that he would give up on him after a day or two.
Izaya wasn't blind to his own faults.
No, he fully admitted that he had caused this mess and still didn't know what had come over him. Why had he admitted to Shizuo that he had loved him after all of this time? He also realized how childish he was acting and how it would be so much easier to just listen to the bodyguard's rejection so he could go back to living his life like before. This is where the stubbornness came in. He didn't want to see the man or have to face him. On the flip side, he wouldn't accept hearing those words over the phone because breaking up like that was so cowardly. Not that they would be breaking up per say, seeing that the two had never 'gone out' in the first place.
So there he was, stuck in a limbo of his own creation. There was nothing he could do because he didn't want anything to be done. He was too afraid to face the one person that could end this, and too childish to accept that he'd been defeated by his own feelings. Of course, Celty hadn't given up on them either, which was honestly no big surprise. But she wasn't doing it for Izaya. He knew how people felt about him and it honestly didn't bother him…most of the time.
People loved to point out how awful he was for using people to get the information he needed. But, how was he any different from anyone else? Everyone in this world used someone for something in their lives. Children, parents, lovers; they have all wanted something from someone. Yet he was the one who was evil. He was the one people pointed their fingers at and hated.
Why? Because he embraced what he was and admitted that he did these things. Izaya wasn't scared to admit what he did, or that he would do what needed to be done to achieve what he wanted. Anyway, how else was he supposed to know more about his beloved mortals if he didn't test them from time to time? It wasn't his fault that humans, as a whole, just seemed to want to be as perfect as they could, not wanting to admit that they had faults as well. He believed that every human had a side they would rather not show. They were users, murderers, abusers, disbelievers, thieves, and liars. That was why he loved his humans, and why they should love him as well…
Humans were imperfect, and he would accept them just as they were.
Izaya was pulled out of his thoughts when there was a knock at the door. Sighing, the informant crawled out of the bed, running a hand though his hair before walking to the door. He had no idea who could be knocking since no one knew he was there. Looking though the peep hole, he couldn't stop the frown from crossing his lips. "How the hell…"
Celty shook her head as she walked through the streets towards her destination. It was official, Izaya was obviously not in his right mind and she knew this based on one simple fact; it had taken her no time at all to locate the informant. This was very much unlike him, especially with the line of work he was in... Seeing how it carried many risks with it. He had been in situations before that had required him to disappear. It had become an art form for him and he had perfected it. That was why it bothered her when she had found him so easily, and only proved her point that there was honestly something wrong with the man. She also knew what the issue was…
There was a certain blond bodyguard who had been looking for the informant for the last two days. Now in no way was this man stupid, but he also didn't have the subtlety or patience that it took to find a person. Usually his days consisted of following Tom to whatever jobs that he'd scheduled and try to keep his temper in check… try, because it normally didn't work. He never really got attached to anyone, never expressed any like or dislike for any specific person that he dealt with on a daily basis, other than Izaya, of course.
So that's why Celty would never have guessed that Shizuo would have affected him this deeply, or that Izaya would have allowed his love for him to run this deep. She never would have pegged those two to fall in love with one another, or to be in this situation at all. There was one thing that the headless woman wasn't surprised about, and that was the fact that Izaya was being so stubborn. Izaya hated to admit that he could, and did, do wrong and if things didn't go his way right off the bat he tended to distance himself for the situation as fast as he could. Oh, he could accept that he made mistakes, but he would never admit that to another person.
Making her way into the hotel, Celty went up to the room and knocked. She could hear him moving around inside before the door finally opened. There he stood, glaring at her as if she was the biggest nuisance in the world.
"Celty… why are you here and how did you find me?" Suddenly he blinked, sticking his head out the door. A moment later, he seemed to look relieved as he leaned back into the room he'd been renting.
「I hope you don't mind if I say this, but... you look like crap Izaya.
He frowned, watching as she typed something else, holding it up to his face.「Can I come in? Shizuo isn't here. So I thought I would come and speak with you first.
"I feel like I don't really have a choice... or do I?" She shook her head, and he sighed, standing back so she could walk past him. "How did you find me, Celty?"
「You're not exactly far from home, Izaya. And you didn't cover your tracks.
Pulling the phone back, she began to type again before showing him the screen.「Someone like Shizuo would have had issues, but remember that I do a lot of jobs for you. I know you Izaya.
He didn't seem to like that answer, the frown becoming more prominent on his face. Running a hand though his hair, the informant walked back into the main room, taking a seat on one of the chairs near a window. "What do you want, Celty?"
Taking that as an offer to come and sit, she made her way over taking the chair across from him. Typing out a message, she leaned forward and held out the phone for him to read.「Shizuo has been searching for you. He's desperate and wants to talk to you about what happened.
Izaya shook his head. No, he wouldn't go see the blond. 「Izaya… you don't even know what he wants to say.
She held the phone back up once again. There was a flash of something in his crimson eyes before he looked down.
"He hates me for telling him, and he is only going to reject me." The woman shook her head at those words. She knew exactly how desperate the blond was to find him and wouldn't believe that. "Look, I'll admit that I missed up on this Celty. I should have known how he would react... We've hated one another since we first met."
「But you love him!
He nodded, laying his head back on the chair. "The love came, yes." Sighing, he rolled his head to the side and looked at her. "My masks were so perfect until I realized I loved him, Celty. No one would have ever known any my flaws. No one would have gotten this close to me. Somehow he crept in and I never even noticed. He was my game, my toy to play with, so when did I start caring and why him?" A laugh left him as his eyes slid closed. "Why did it have to be like this?"
A tapping sound made him open his eyes a moment later as her phone once again entered his view. 「I think you're assuming that this will end badly.
The words read as she pulled the phone back again, her graceful fingers moving swiftly across the keys before turning it around once again. 「I don't think Shizuo would try this hard to find you if he wanted to say no.
"That is all theory, Celty."
Shaking her head quickly, she pulled the phone back to type a new message.「Not to be rude, Izaya, but so is your half brained logic.
That actually made him smile for a moment, but it quickly fell from his face. "I'm scared." It was only a whisper, but he'd said it. Crimson eyes looked up at the woman once again but she just sat there for a moment before typing on her phone.
But instead of a message, it began to ring. The informant paled as he realized what she was doing. Her finger pointed at the phone, then at Izaya as she nodded once to confirm what he thought.
Suddenly there was a click as someone answered. "Celty, why are you calling me? Was it an accident?"
She pointed to the phone once again, and he knew she wanted him to speak. Shaking his head again, he looked down at the phone as if it was a snake ready to bite him.
"Celty, is something wrong? What the fuck… did something happen?" There was silence for a moment, and then the blond began to speak again. "You found Izaya didn't you? He's there isn't he?"
His eyes widened, a slight whimper leaving his mouth, as he covered his face with both hands. Yes, he was being immature, but he was also scared… scared of what Shizuo would say to him.
"Izaya talk to me, this is stupid." There was a pause, then a growl. "Serious, what the fuck is your problem Flea? Do you know I hard I've been trying to find your fucking ass? It's been days now and I thought maybe something had happened to you."
Why did he sound so worried?… Why was he acting like he cared all of the sudden? Part of him had a small hope that maybe the monster did truly love him back. The other part of him couldn't accept that it could even be possible. But he'd said it himself, Shizuo had been looking for him for days, Celty even helped look for him… Why would he go through all of this just to say he had no feelings for him? If he hated him, wouldn't he want Izaya to suffer?
"Look you little shit, the fucking flea I know wouldn't run away like this." Now he was angry. He was pissed that he'd been looking for a selfish brat for two days. "The louse I know would speak his mind, not thinking of anyone else but himself. The Izaya I know wouldn't be a fucking coward!"
"I'm not a coward you protozoan imbecile!" Damn it, now he'd done it. He'd let that stupid ape get under his skin and now Shizuo knew that he was here. "What do you want, monster?"
"I'm worried about you." He finally said, breathing out in frustration. "Please, I need to see you so we can talk. I'm not going to do this shit over a damn phone with Celty standing there."
"I don't want to see you." Was he actually pouting? Sighing, Izaya looked away from the phone and the stupid woman holding it. "I know you don't love me, so it's stupid to keep playing this game."
"You don't know shit about what I think, Flea. And like I said… I'm not going to discuss this over a damn phone. I want to see you. I… need to see you."
There was silence for a moment, as if the other didn't know exactly what to say. "Because… I need to know that you're alright, Izaya. I need to see you."
Looking out the window, he nodded. "Fine… Meiji Jingu Shrine in Shibuya. We will meet there in an hour."
"Alright, I'll meet you there, Flea." With that, the call was disconnected.
Celty pulled the phone back to her, once again typing out a message for him. 「Would you like me to walk with you?
She asked. Izaya just watched her for a moment and then stood, nodding slightly. Celty reached out, grabbing his arm, and started typing again. He waited for a moment, wondering what she wanted to say now.「I just want you two to be happy.
"Do you honestly believe that he and I can be together? Are you confident that I can honestly make him happy, Celty?" He watched her arm fall to her side, her head tilling slightly to the right as she thought his words over. A moment later, she was typing again and held it up for him to see.
「I don't know, do you?
He just looked at those words for a moment; he had no clue to say to that question so he decided to just be honest. "I don't know." Walking into the bathroom, he closed the door so he could get ready.
Once again… I am sorry this took so long, I had major writers block. I think I am back on track, so let me know what you thought by leaving a review. Thank you.
A note from Az'y: SO, I was supposed to have this edited yesterday, but life came up and I was distracted... Severely distracted... ... BUT! It's done now. And if anyone has a problem with my lovely author taking so long, I'll beat you up! LOL jk... maybe... . Anywho, thank you to those how tried to help me help her get rid of her writer's block, because I'm sure it wasn't just me... at least it better have not been only me! :C Please give her lots of love~ 3