I own nothing. All characters belong to the author and I just make them my own brand of awesome.


Being overweight sucks, especially when all of your friends look like fucking supermodels. It's not that I'm ugly or anything like that. I'm gosh darn fierce. But, when you're a bigger girl, such as myself, you have problems finding the right guy to date.

I've been set up I don't know how many times by my friends, Alice and Rosalie. They're happily married with their 2.5 kids and the white picket fence and yada yada yada. Of course, they want me to know that same kind of bliss and, while I have yet to find it, I have to admit that I want it, too.

The only person who doesn't push me into craptastic relationships is my best guy friend, Edward. We've been friends our entire lives. Literally. Our mothers were pregnant together and everything but then his mother died just a few short years after we were born and it's just been him and his dad, Carlisle, ever since. Well, that's untrue, he's married to Esme, whom everyone loves just the same as if she had given birth to Edward herself.

"How about this dress?" Edward yells from the closet and comes out holding some God awful thing that my mother picked out.

"Seriously?" I ask. "That's what you're telling me to go with? I'm going to a date not a funeral." I scoff and shake my head, wandering into my closet with him.

I hear him mumble something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "I don't fucking think so" when I grabbed my retro black and white polka dot dress and smiled widely.

"So, tell me about this Mitch or whatever his name is." Edward says as he sprawls out on my bed and watches TV. He's done this for every date. You'd think it would be Alice and/or Rose, but he's filled the spot of supportive bestie on date nights.

"His name is MIKE," I glare and he shrugs, "And he's a guy Rose set me up with. I guess he works on the 3rd floor of her office building and he is apparently perfect for me."

You'd think I would tell my friends no, that I don't want to be set up on any lousy dates anymore, but of course, I haven't had any luck looking on my own, and maybe one of these dates could be a success.

"I see, so he probably works in the mail room. Classy." Edward laughs and I glare at him.

"You have room to talk, Cullen. How about Tanya? That fancy stripper from Seattle?" He stops his laughing and glares at me. Yeah, Edward dated Tanya for a few months and then found out she was a stripper when he and Emmett went out on a guys night one evening. To say he was pissed was an understatement.

I tried to explain to him that nobody can afford the luxuries she had unless she was a hooker, a stripper, or a drug dealer, without having ever finished high school or was, I dunno a genius or something.

"Whatever. Have fun. Don't be too slutty." He smiles and leaves.

Later that night...

So, I'm waiting outside the restaurant for the last 10 minutes and I'm checking my watch religiously. If there is one thing I hate it's that I am stood up. I left the comfort of my own home and my PJ's for this shit?

I sighed and just as I was about to hoof it back to my car, a blonde haired guy with bright blue eyes comes jogging up the sidewalk.

"Bella?" He asks and smiles at me. It's a nice smile. I nod and smile back. "I'm so sorry I'm late. My car broke down just up the street there and I kind of ran most of the way here." He turned red when he's telling me this and I feel kind of bad.

"Well, if it's any consolation, I've never had a guy that eager to go on a date that he ran to get there." I blush a little bit and smile. His returning smile is nearly blinding and so far, I'm doing a mental high five to Rose for the choice of guy.

He tells the hostess the names on the reservation and leads me toward our table. We order drinks and everything is going well so far. As we peruse the menu my mouth is nearly salivating from the prospects of my meal tonight. Everything looks good and I'm not picky, which is the problem.

"Are you two ready to order, yet?" Our bubbly server asks Mike. He looks at me and I wave at him to go ahead. Apparently he takes this as to order for the both of us.

"We'll both have the grilled salmon with lemon, a salad with oil and no croutons" he throws a wink at me, "and how bout some asparagus spears to go with the salmon? Lightly buttered, thanks."

I'm appalled. He ordered for me and it wasn't the fact that he ordered for me so much as he seemed to take the healthier route on the food. I calm my breathing a bit and think rationally. Perhaps he's just a health nut. He didn't seem out of shape as he ran up to me earlier.

"I hope that was okay. I know how a lady likes to watch her figure." He winks and I spit out the water in which I'd taken a sip of and start choking. "Shit, are you okay?" He rushes over to me and starts patting my back while the rest of the crowd watches on.

I wave him off and wipe my mouth. "I'm fine." I croak out and then take a sip of my red wine. "What made you decide to order that, anyway?"

"Well, a lady like you needs to watch her figure. You're not getting any younger, you know." My eyes widen and my hand goes for the sharp knife next to my plate. "Don't misunderstand me, I think you're very beautiful, but there's some room for improvement. For instance, I didn't always look like this." He motions down his body with his hands. He takes a sip of his wine and licks his lips. "I used to weigh like 300 lbs a few years back. With a lot of hard work and dedication, I've become the man I am today."

I nod and don't know what the fuck to say. I excuse myself to the restroom and call Rose. She picks up immediately and I lay into her.

"How dare you, Rose!" I whisper/yell into the reciever.

"I take it it's not going too well then?" Her tone tells me she's sorry and maybe that she'd anticipated it.

"Hell no it's not. He just ordered the healthiest thing they had because, and I quote, 'a lady like me needs to watch my figure because I'm not getting any younger!" She gasps and cusses. "Yeah, right? So, I'm like what the fuck and he goes off on this rant about how he thinks I'm beautiful but there was room for improvement. I'm not at all impressed, Rosalie." I growl.

"Shit, I'm sorry, B. I didn't think he'd be like that. He used to be a big guy a few years ago and I just thought you two would have something in common, not that he'd be a shallow douche."

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, a habit I'd picked up from Edward. "You didn't know. Look, I'm going to slip out the back door and head for the hills. I don't think I can take being talked down to anymore tonight."

"If you need anything just call, sweets." She says and we say our goodbyes and I make like a ninja and sneak out of the back. I felt like I was all stealthy with my ducking in between cars and whatnot until I looked around and saw Mike standing a few feet away from me.

"Bella?" He asks and I sigh. "Where are you going? We didn't have dinner yet." He pouts slightly.

"Yeah, about that, I have to get going." I didn't want to be rude, but I wasn't sitting through a dinner with this dude.

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked sheepish. "Look, I'm extremely sorry if I'd said anything wrong. I didn't want to give you the wrong impression of me. I'm not a total jerk, I swear. It's just that I thought women liked assertive and confident guys." He shrugged and I scowled.

"There's a huge difference in being confident and downright rude." I snap and his face falls.

"I deserve that. I'll let you get going now." He waves and wanders back into the restaurant and I feel a little shitty, but I ignore that feeling because I don't need guys like that in my life.

So, this is chapter one. By the way, I'd like to picture my Edward in this store as more like Channing Tatum OR Chris Evans. Take your pic.