Daphne's Farting Problem


Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: I know the Scooby Doo franchise isn't afraid of toilet humor, but since it mostly happened to Shaggy and Scooby, I decided to give Daphne a taste of it. I'm honestly shocked that I haven't done this sooner. But don't worry, though, Daphne farting isn't the only thing this fanfic has going for. You'll see. Oh yes, you'll see...

The Mystery Inc. was at some random haunted mansion. In the west. During a thunderstorm. At night.

"This story's going places," Velma sarcastically remarked.

Daphne burped loudly, covering her mouth with both her hands. "Oh my, excuse me!"

Fred, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby Doo all eyed Daphne oddly, looking at each other and shrugging as they entered the haunted mansion.

"Daphne must have had a lot before coming here," Shaggy commented as he wrapped his arms around the back of his head.

Scooby nodded. "Yeah. She must have pigged out."

Fred scratched his head. "But Daphne's a human, not a pig!"

Shaggy and Scooby glanced back at Fred, and both sighed as they shook his head. The gang were in the middle of the haunted mansion.

"Remember guys, we're looking for generic villain of the week," Velma commented as she adjusted her glasses. "It's a guy in the typical ghost sheet."

"Let's split up, gang!" Fred exclaimed profoundly, raising his right index finger as he smiled.

"But Fred, we just got here!" Daphne exclaimed as she shook her hands.

Fred laughed as he patted Daphne on the butt several times. "That's besides the point, Daphne! Let's do some trapping! Traps are my favorite!"

"Fred's gone trap overload." Velma remarked as she looked up from her laptop.

Shaggy rubbed the back of his head. "Tell me about it. Like, he hasn't been shutting up about it."

Scooby nodded as he folded his front limbs. "Ruh huh. He keeps talking about it."

Fred winked as he revealed his bright, shiny teeth. "Nothing beats a trapping trap!"

Daphne wrapped her arms around Fred, looking at him. "Freddy, how about you let someone else do the trapping?"

Fred suddenly pushed Daphne off of him, pointing at her. "NO! Fred Jones is my name, trapping is my game! I gotta trap them all!"

Velma rolled her eyes. "Let's just see how many times Fred can use traps."

"I think he mentioned it six time!" Scooby shouted, counting the times that Fred referred to traps.

Fred shook his arms frantically. "Guys, why are we just standing here! The bad guy's not gonna trap itself!"

"Seven." Scooby added on.

Fred folded his arms as he walked up to Velma. "Right. Because we did this a jillion times, I'll go with Velma, and Daphne, you go with Shaggy and Scooby!"

Shaggy gulped as he began trembling. "I got a bad feeling about this, Scoob."

Scooby started to tremble as well. "Rike, me too, Raggy."

Daphne frowned as she dropped her arms. "Fred, don't you want me to go with you?"

Velma shrugged as she smirked. "Oh Daph, just give Shaggy and Scooby some company. They won't mind."

Daphne sighed as she lowered her head. "That doesn't give me much hope." She moped.

So Fred and Velma went together, whereas Daphne was stuck with Shaggy and Scooby. Down the dark hallway, Daphne's stomach growled loudly. Shaggy and Scooby started to become nervous.

"Zoinks, Scooby, did ya hear that?" Shaggy commented as he turned to Scooby.

Scooby nodded his head as he gulped. "Gu huh! It sounded like a ronster!"

Daphne sighed as she placed her right hand on her stomach. "That was me, guys. I think those burritos I had earlier is starting to take effect."

Shaggy gulped as he turned around, his face whiter than usual. "Zoinks... you had burritos?"

Daphne appeared on Shaggy's left side as she clarified, "Bean burritos."

Suddenly, Daphne farted loudly, her purple dress being lifted up by the powerful gas. Shaggy fell on his back as he was shaking with fright, with Daphne gasping as she let out another deep poot.

Scooby covered his face with both of his hands. "Ruh roh. Daphne has bad gas...!"

Meanwhile, Fred and Velma were walking down another dark hallway. What, do you expect any details in a series infamous for cutting corners?

"Jinkies Fred, it's an honor to be going down this hallway with you!" Velma stated as she was looking at her laptop, "Normally, Shaggy and Scooby just want to eat and eat."

Fred rubbed the back of his head. "I wanted to break away from Daphne so that I can continue to have my trap fetish-" He paused briefly, being eyed weirdly by Velma. "I mean, I wanted to have a chance to be... with you!"

Velma rolled her eyes as she shook her head. "Nevermind, Freddy. Let's go."

Back with the Three Stooges, Daphne's stomach growled louder than before, causing Shaggy and Scooby to be nervous. Daphne looked at her stomach in concern, feeling the gas inside her stomach ready to come out again.

"Pee yew!" Scooby commented as he waved his front right paw, getting the stink out of his face. "Daphne, you need to eat less stinky things!"

Daphne pouted as she folded her arms, a tuba like fart coming out. "Says the dog who would eat anything in his sight."

Shaggy placed his hands on his hips. "Hey! Don't lash out on Scooby just because your farts smell terrible! Like, he's telling the truth, man!"

Daphne turned around, grabbing Shaggy by the collar. "Come on! I know we don't really interact, but you could make me feel better!"

Several seconds of silence. Daphne farted loudly again, her blush getting brighter as her lips trembled. Suddenly, they heard a noise other than Daphne's flatulence, coming from the right wall.

Shaggy and Scooby held onto each other as they both whimpered. Daphne hid behind the two, trembling as well as she let out a squeaky poot.

"Man, I really am like my mom," Daphne stated as she glanced at her butt, letting out another high pitched queaky toot, "I think I have the squeakers!"