I don't own Twilight or it's characters. And I don't own anything to do with Kiss The Rain by Billie Meyers. This disclaimer applies to future chapters of this story. It's rated M for a reason.
Being an army wife, you exist in a constant state of worry. When he's home, you worry about when he's going to be deployed again. Then you worry about where he's being deployed. Then you worry about his journey there and hope it's a safe one.
After all of that is said and done, you pray with everything in your soul that he comes back home to you. Alive.
Every time the doorbell rings, my heart leaps. Is it just the UPS man or are they here to tell me he's never coming home?
It was only supposed to be a 6 month deployment.
He'd been gone for almost a year. The frequent emails and the occasional Skype didn't lessen that ache I've had in my heart since he told me he was leaving on special assignment. While the emails were instant I love you's and I miss you's it was not the same as getting his letter. Seeing his hand writing gave me a small amount of peace. Knowing he took time out of his day to tell me what he could about where he was and what he was seeing, meant more to me than I could ever describe.
But, it'd been a few weeks since he'd written. And I was trying desperately not to worry, to not completely lose my shit. At least not yet.
I opened the front door and made my way to the end of the driveway. Taking a deep breath I opened the mailbox, just hoping to see his handwriting.
Water bill, electric bill, some insurance company crap, and a card from my mom.
Nothing from him.
Damn tears! I needed to hold it together. She'd know something was wrong.
Taking a shaky breathe I started back towards the house. Thunder rumbled in the distance.
Summer storms were pretty common in the south. Nothing new there. I might even sit on the porch and try to enjoy the rain.
Kiss the rain, whenever you need me.
Kiss the rain, whenever I'm gone too long.
"Momma!" She never did like thunder.
"I'm coming bug. " I replied.
Running up the steps and in through the front door, she stood in the middle of the living room. Thumb in the mouth, holding her blanket while Winnie The Pooh was on the TV.
My reason to get up in the morning. My ladybug, my daughter. Our daughter.
"Daddy?" she asked.
Shaking my head, "I'm sorry bug, Daddy won't be home for a while."
She doesn't dwell on it. Doesn't even flinch when I tell her. She just climbs on the couch and starts watching Pooh again. It's a daily routine with her. Breakfast, playtime, lunch, Pooh and then nap time.
I think the routine is more for me than for her, to have that reassurance that the morning hours are the same.
As the sky gets darker, I scoop her up off the couch.
"Nap time kiddo." I say.
Once I get her settled in her bed, she asks for a hug and a kiss. It's moments like these that make my heart ache that he's not here. So I give her double hugs and kisses, one from me, and one from Daddy.
It's started to rain.
I grab the monitor and head out on the porch with my Kindle. Maybe I'll lose myself in someone else's world for a little while. It's gotta be better than mine.
After re-reading the same sentence 5 times and not remembering what I read, I give up. I can't keep my mind off of him. Where is he? No one at the base can give me information. It's beyond frustrating and disheartening.
If you knew, what I'm left imagining.
In my mind, in my mind.
Would you go, would you go.
Tears start to run down my cheeks. I can't contain it anymore. I only want to know where my husband is. Is that so much to ask for?
Torrential rain begins to come down. There doesn't seem to be much lightening in and thunder now. Just rain.
I need a distraction.
I run out into the storm. Letting the rain wash away some of my worries.
Please, I begin my prayer, I'm only asking for a letter, a phone call, something. Anything. Please just tell me he's okay.
If your lips feel lonely and thirsty, kiss the rain.
And wait for the dawn.
Keep in mind, we're under the same sky.
And the night as empty as for me, as for you.
If you feel you can't wait till mornin'
Kiss the rain.
Kiss the rain.
Kiss the rain.
"I don't think I've ever seen anything so beautiful."
This will probably only be a 2 chapter fic. I'm just trying my hand at writing. It was not beta'd so please excuse any mistakes I've made. Thanks!
It was brought to my attention that I didn't include a disclaimer for Kiss The Rain by Billie Meyers, so I added that to the top. Sorry to those that got the updated chapters in their emails and thought it was a new chapter. This fic is marked as complete and I intend to keep it that way.