After he got me (and agreed that I truly was waiting for the pizza delivery guy, and that it was, in fact, a saying), we fell in mad, crazy, stupid love.

He moved in within the first few months, slowly leaving more crap into my little corner house that barely had enough room for my cat, Diane, and I.

We made room though. Love always makes room.

Currently, my favourite thing to do was lock Edward out of the house (or car) until he danced for me.

It all started one night when we got tipsy by ourselves on our six month anniversary and Edward did a little striptease. It wasn't so much sexy as it was fucking hilarious. He had no rhythm and his skinny little hips moved so quick I was scared he was going to flick his dick right off his body.

So, now I always made him dance for me, especially when I was having a bad day.

He took the garbage out for me one afternoon when I got home from work and snapped on him because he hadn't done anything on his day off. He wasn't a fighter, and he just took shit lying down, so it made me even more upset.

As soon as he left the house, my anger slowly left my body with every exhale. Soon I was grinning and locking our front door and waiting by the window to see him do a little dance, and hopefully make a little love eventually.

He tried opening the door without noticing me in the window. He looked confused and tried it again.

"What the fuck?" I heard him mutter. Then he knocked and called my name.

"What's wrong?" I asked innocently.

"The door's locked!" he exclaimed, presenting his obstacle with his hand.

A smile slowly took over my face. "I know."

"What do you mean, you know?" he asked skeptically. "You locked me out?"

I nodded, biting my lip.

"What the hell, Bella?"

"Dance for me," I said, still smiling.

"What?"

"Dance for me!" I repeated. "Do the Carlton or something."

He tried to fight his smile, he really did, but he couldn't. "Just let me in and then I'll dance, I promise."

I shook my head. "Nu-uh. Dance for me, baby."

He chuckled and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. Then he looked me in the eye and started doing the Carlton and then the cabbage patch. I laughed so hard I snorted.

I finally unlocked the door, and let him back in.

"Thank you," I sang to him, scooping him up in my arms and hugging him hard.

"Anything for you, babe."


Completely and totally inspired by an America's Funniest Home Videos video. Look it up if you can. It's hilarious and so fucking adorable.

So, this is probably the last for these two. This is Pizza Delivery Guy part deux. I have a bunch more ideas coming your way soon!