A/N: Hiya! It's the second chapter of my one-shot collection~ I just realized that there's not nearly enough fanfictions for this manga. Well, whatevers! (This one is based off the second extra chapter)
DISCLAIMER: Seriously. If this manga were mine, the Duchess would DEFINITELY survive. Definitely. She's my favourite character... My second favourite is the March Hare XD Funny I like all the side characters...
'A cat...' The 89th Alice of Wonderland mused, his head supported by his hand, 'A rabbit... A fish...'
'... Alice? What are you doing?' The dark-haired, dark-eyed Mad Hatter asked, holding his cup of tea steadily in his right hand while his left was stuffed into his pockets.
'Ah,' Alice replied, looking up, 'Well, I was just thinking; There are a lot of animal names in Wonderland, huh?'
'Something like that mouse?' Hatter asked, clearly referring to the sleepy Dormouse.
'Yeah. That's... Pretty cool, isn't it?
'... Is that so...?'
'Yeah!' Alice said, suddenly energized, 'For example... Doesn't the Queen of Hearts give off the feeling of a leopard? Maybe a female leopard?' And image of the Queen with leopard ears and tail popped into Hatter's mind and he frowned slightly.
'And then, the Knave is a dog. I'd say a large breed.' Alice continued, his bright blue eyes lighting up.
Ah... The Hatter could cleary imagine this one. The idea of the Knave of Hearts with floppy golden ears, a wagging tail and holding up a sign with the words 'WOOF' written clearly on it made the usually scowling or grimacing Hatter's mouth turn up a bit at the corners.
Alice paused, thinking, then added, 'I think the Duchess is something like a squirrel.'
The image of pouting Duchess with a fluffy squirrel's tail and surrounded with acorns made the Hatter really smile, and he said, 'I see... You came up with something surprisingly clever. So, what would I be?'
'You're a bear.' Alice replied simply.
'Hey, that's pretty cool. So you think I seem like a bear?'
'Yeah. It's because you have those "bags" under your eyes.*'
The air suddenly turned cold and menacing all of a sudden as the Hatter glared daggers at the seemingly oblivious blonde boy.
Alice groaned suddenly, 'However, it's simple to come up with animals for those guys, but not for someone as vital as me,' He moaned, 'I wonder what animal would suit me best? Naturally... The appearence would have to be cool, proper, cute, and charming!' He ranted as the air behind him got darker and darker, 'The foundation would be that of a meat-eater, but one that is good at depending on others. Something like that... It would seem-'
'I know one animal that would suit you perfectly,' Hatter declared suddenly.
'Because you're yellow.**'
'It has been decided,' The Hatter said and sipped his tea calmly.
'UWAAH! WAIT A MINUTE! DON'T DECIDE THAT! I don't understand the meaning! I don't understand something like "Because you're yellow"! I don't have a long neck or lick things with my tongue!'
'AN IDIOT WHO GOES AROUND DECIDING PEOPLE'S ANIMALS BASED ON PUNS DON'T HAVE A RIGHT TO SAY THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THE MEANING!' Hatter yelled.
On the streets, a certain smiling feline remarked as he heard the commotion from below, 'Those two have become really close, haven't they?'
'They seem like a pair of mountain monkeys.'
* This is a pun on the Japanese word, so you probably wouldn't get it in writing...
** Hatter is referring to Alice's hair color here.