I tried to catch my breath from the moment of perfection that had just taken place in my bedroom. Why had I felt the need to freak out? Why did I have to refuse Jennifer's offer, for Christ sake?
"We can play boyfriend girlfriend like we used to," Jen had said, eyes like blue fire before she left.
"No," I had panicked, and then protested. "Leave!"
The second I had said it, I was sorry. With a sway of the hips, Jennifer had turned, clambered onto the windowsill, and when I had weakly asked what she was doing, she had snapped - "Um, you said to leave. See you at school."
"Wait," I thought I had cried it out, but I had only said it in my mind - I must have - because she hadn't returned. I ran to the window, blindly fumbling with the curtains. She had vanished.
"Jen? I shouted through the wind. "Jen! I'm sorry! Come back!"
There was a long silence, a long deafening roar in my ears. "Jennifer!" I tried once more.
There was a soft giggle from behind me. "Gotcha."
I span around, heart thudding, and there she stood at my bedroom door. I smiled, and sat on the bed, my eyes never leaving hers. I patted the bed beside me, but she didn't move. She stood there, blue eyes boring into mine. She was teasing me, making me wait. For what, I wasn't sure. All I knew was that five minutes previously, she had been underneath me, her hands gently caressing my back, her tongue exploring my mouth, and I had been tingling. My boyfriend, Chip, had not even entered my head. All I could think, heart thudding, was how much I had wanted this - Jennifer- in my room, alone. And how much I wanted the rest. I knew what was going to happen next. Jennifer raised her top over her head, pulled down her shorts, stood there wearing only her girl boxers.
I gasped - stood up, tried to make my way towards her.
Trying not to smile, she helped me off the floor, where I'd somehow ended up, and pulled me back onto my bed.
She was kneeling up, and staring at me, so I knelt up, too. My heart was hammering. I was honestly terrified it was going to burst.
"Come here, you," she said, softly, sexily, but so sweetly, pulling me towards her. Before I could do anything, she was kissing me. Properly, this time. Her tongue started teasing my mouth first. Oh, my God.
"Needy," she whispered, breaking away eventually. "You're shaking."
I was. I was shuddering violently, from head to toe, and had broken out in some kind of bizarre cold sweat. My teeth were chattering. I'd wanted this for so long, imagined this so many times, dreamed about it, and here it was. Happening to me, eventually.
I was terrified.
"Are you okay?" she asked, looking a little bit startled.
It was weird. I had to sit down properly. "I'm sorry, is it something I did?" she sat next to me and pulled my hand away from my mouth and towards her. I shook my head. My only reply, as I couldn't seem to string two words together, was to take her hand and hold it to my heart. "Feel," I muttered eventually.
She gazed into my eyes as she felt my heart beating violently, and then took my hand and put it to her chest. "Feel," she echoed, her eyes mystic blue fire.
"I want you so bad," I managed to utter weakly.
She didn't reply – she just lay backwards, pulling me on top of her, and sliding her hand into my knickers. She was ripping my clothes off, then, we were kissing one another with an almost violent approach, her teeth were so gorgeously white, her lips were so beautifully full and peachy, her cheeks were so smooth and rosy. She moved my hand to her groin. I gasped. There was something so devilish about her - I had it so, so bad.
I was unhealthily hot for her. Below, my bits were doing a sort of manic dance. They were going crazy of their own accord. If she touched me, I'd come in seconds. She was still wearing her pants, but knowing that certain places of us were touching was more than I could bear. It sounds ridiculous, but I was nearly in tears. Her breasts, brushing against mine, sent more and more tingles of longing straight to my groin. We were touching one another now, in harmony with one another, both in a sort of trance. Her black hair fell forward, and she looked down at my breasts, which were also acting of their own accord. She lifted her other hand up inside my black and pink striped bra, and rubbed my tender nipple. It reacted to her hand immediately, crying out for her. Her cheeks were so beautifully red now, and her breath came out in short, uneven gasps as I fondled her. Knowing she wanted me as badly as I wanted her tripled the excitement.
"How long have you wanted me?" she whispered. She had no idea how close I was to coming.
"Years," I managed.
"Tell me when you're ready," she whispered between kisses. "It turns me on."
She closed her eyes, caressing me quicker and quicker. There was a familiar sort of ache below that I got from self-manipulation, a familiar turbulent frenzy. I began to contract. "Jen, I'm going to come," I moaned, and I opened my eyes and gazed up at her as I was struck with the most powerful orgasm I had ever, ever encountered. It was so good that with my free hand I seized the bed-sheet so tightly my knuckles went white. I carried on rocking my hips – she watched me cheekily, with an element of innocence about her, as I came all over her hand. Her orgasm came seconds after mine, and, although she was subtler than me in the sounds she made, the way she bit her lip and thrust her hips suggested that she'd had an enormous orgasm herself.
Afterwards, she leaned in and caressed my hips. Unbeknown to her, this sort of touch usually drove me crazy. I could feel twinges of ecstasy and an odd tingling sensation not just there, but all over my left side, where she was stroking. She knew what she was doing, of course. She took both of my hips in her hands and kissed my skin softly, all the way down to my groin. And what she did next was so good that I physically cried out, begged her for more. I'd never gone this far, let alone anything else. Her going down on me was just another part of my heavenly experience, starting with that night. As she was close, again, to making me come, I turned my head slightly and gazed at the night sky, patterned with hundreds of stars, and I thought, I will remember this forever. No matter what. That familiar feeling brought me back to earth with a bang. she lifted away from me, those perfect lips of hers formed a smile. "I'll always love you, Needy."
"I love you too," I choked out, taking her hands as she lay next to me.
"Can I stay?" she asked, going back to that strange, so unlike Jennifer I wasn't used to. She curled up, and she looked frightened, alone.
"Baby?" I pulled her towards me, pulled her into my arms. "Of course you can stay."
She smiled up at me, then, and I felt a dizzying, strange rush of love I had never felt towards anyone. "Only," I added, unable to stop my smile, "if you give me more."
She leaned in, those lips of hers brushing mine softly, before lying back down and taking me, holding me, around the waist. She said nothing, but her smile said it all.
It was going to be a good night.