Maybe It's That I Love You
It didn't take especially long for them to return to the hotel but to Steve it seemed like the ride was interminable. He was about to have what he'd wanted but had denied he craved. Why couldn't Danny drive just a little faster? Or he could have let Steve drive. They'd be upstairs and naked by now if Steve were behind the wheel.
Steve really had considered everything Danny had said. There was a balance that every relationship had to find, what each party was willing to surrender and to endure. Maybe he had expected Danny to endure more than his fair share of the burden. Steve was self-aware enough to know that he wasn't the easiest person to be around. Not that Danny complained all that much when Steve wasaround. It was mostly when he wasn't that Steve got into the worst trouble.
"I'm not suicidal," Steve said when Danny stopped at a red light. Danny glanced over at him with a look of amused tolerance.
"That's kind of out of the blue, isn't it?" Danny asked.
"You think I am."
"And you deny that you've never shown evidence of suicidal tendencies?"
Steve decided that was enough of that topic. Maybe he had taken some calculated risks but he was cognizant of all potential outcomes and had never lost yet. Yet. Was that what Danny was talking about? "Maybe I'm not always as cautious as I should be?"
"Ding ding ding…we have a winner!" Danny exclaimed in clear mockery. Mockery Steve did not especially appreciate.
"No need to gloat," Steve said, looking out his window. "This really is an ugly city."
"Only the parts around the airport. There are some nice areas that most people never see."
"I'll take your word for it. I don't want to be here long enough to discover those for myself."
"Okay," Danny said, finding a space in the hotel parking garage. He got the pizza box out of the backseat before they went into the hotel. "We have to stop by the front desk to extend your stay. You want to keep the room until Saturday?"
"That makes sense," Steve agreed. "Are you staying with me?" He thought he didn't sound too hopeful but he couldn't be sure. Since all he really wanted was for Danny to stay. Not just in the hotel but with him for as long as he could realistically expect. Like forever.
"Part of the time," Danny said. "I did fly here to see my family."
"I'm family," Steve said before he could stop himself. He smiled in response to Danny's laugh.
"God help me," Danny said, leading Steve over to the front desk. The clerk smiled at Danny, a gleam of more than professional interest in her eyes which Steve did not appreciate. No one was allowed to look at him like that from now on. "We need to extend our stay."
"Certainly sir," she responded cheerfully. "What name is the room under?"
"Danny Williams," Danny said as she checked the registry.
"Do you have an active military discount?" Steve asked. She looked up at them at the question, eyeing Danny then Steve before returning to study Danny.
"Yes?" she said hesitantly.
"I'm not in the military," Danny confirmed. No point in letting her wonder. "But he is."
"Are you Danny Williams?" she asked Steve.
"No. I'm Lt. Commander Steve McGarrett," Steve told her.
"I see. Do you have your military credentials?" she asked him.
"Not with me," he said. Why would he lie about being in the service? And frankly the discount wasn't as important as getting Danny upstairs and naked. "Never mind."
"If you can produce your military ID, I can provide the discount," she told him, studying him like she expected him to produce an ID that said he was KGB. Like she was one second away from calling the police on them both.
"It's fine," Danny said, feeling Steve's stiffen next to him. "We don't need the discount. If you'll just extend the room until Saturday."
"Of course," she said, more comfortable talking to Danny. Which Steve thought was fairly ridiculous but whatever. Time was ticking, time they could be engaged in more interesting activities. "I need you to sign right here, Mr. Williams."
Danny handed the pizza to Steve before signing where indicated. Good thing he'd used his 5-0 credit card to pay for the room. Otherwise they'd both be out on the street.
"You used your 5-0 credit card?" Steve asked as they rode up in the elevator.
"Yep," Danny agreed. Steve stared down at him, disbelief on his face.
"We aren't here on official business," Steve told him unnecessarily.
"True. But you're the one that has to explain to the Governor why the charges are on the 5-0 account," Danny informed him with far too much delight.
"You'll have to explain it," Steve said, following Danny into the room when he had the door open. "It's under your name."
"You're in charge, babe. Explanation's all yours," Danny told him, taking the pizza from Steve's unresisting hands and putting it on the desk. "Now."
"Finally," Steve said, going to the closet for the drugstore bag.
"Have you ever been with another man?" Danny asked. Steve could hear the hesitancy in Danny's voice. Not fear precisely but uncertainty.
"No. But we're pretty smart. We'll figure it out," Steve assured him. He threw the bag on the bed they had been using before approaching Danny, reaching for the edge of his tee shirt. "Why are you so nervous?"
Danny shrugged, raising his arms so Steve could get his shirt off. That done, Steve bent down enough to press his lips to Danny's, feeling Danny's smile underneath his mouth. "Good?"
"Good," Danny whispered, his tongue peeking out to trace Steve's lips. Steve liked the sensation even better than he had expected and wanted more. He guided Danny until the back of Danny's knees collided with the bed. Before he could sit, Steve reached for the button of his jeans, undoing it and unzipping Danny's fly, all the while still kissing him, his tongue seeking entry. Danny opened his mouth to allow Steve inside, flooding Steve with the taste of Danny. It was way more intoxicating than Steve had expected. Danny tasted like home, like where Steve belonged.
"Oh God," Steve whispered, kissing Danny again, consuming Danny's mouth and lips and tongue. "So good, so good." Steve straightened enough to gently lower Danny until he was sitting on the bed, kneeling in front on him to remove his sneakers and his jeans. "This okay?"
"Okay but too slow," Danny informed him, leaning forward to kiss Steve. Steve opened his mouth to accept Danny's tongue, making him want Danny even more. But he hadn't thought it was possible. "Undress," Danny said, pulling at the hem of Steve's shirt.
Steve backed away and pulled his shirt up and off. Staring at Danny and his beautiful blue eyes, Steve kicked off his shoes and quickly shed his jeans. When they were both down to their briefs, Steve returned to kissing Danny, pushing him backward until Danny was laying down on top of the comforter.
"I knew it. A topper," Danny said when he had enough breath to speak. Danny's arms were wrapped around Steve's body holding him in place, caressing his back with strong hands and exploring fingers.
"If you want," Steve teased, shifting his hips so that their erections ground together, the friction almost more than Steve could stand. "Oh God. How do you want to do this?"
"I don't know," Danny confessed. "But I don't think I'm ready to go all the way yet."
Steve understood that. He wasn't sure he was ready either. As much as he wanted to know everything about Danny, how he reacted, what it felt like to be inside Danny, to have Danny inside of him, they had the rest of their lives to try it all out. Providing Steve didn't screw this up. Which he had no intentions of doing. He had heard Danny and understood the concerns he had laid out to him. Steve could be less selfish if it meant Danny remained with him.
"Hey, Super SEAL. Where'd you go?" Danny asked, his palm resting on Steve's cheek, his eyes worried.
"I'm here. I don't want to mess this up," Steve said, leaning down to kiss Danny's mouth in promise.
"I know, babe. I'm not saying it will be easy. I'm only saying we'll work on making it work."
"We will?" Steve asked. He didn't like the doubts he couldn't put aside but Danny was too important to not worry that he'd lose him.
"Of course we will. Because it's worth the effort."
"Wouldn't it be nice to know we had the 'happily ever after' guaranteed like one of Gracie's movies?" Steve said.
"We aren't Disney princesses," Danny laughed. "In fact, we're no kind of princesses. And I'd like to remove our briefs to prove that."
Steve thought that was a really good idea and raised his hips enough to let Danny push his briefs down. It was awkward getting them off from around his knees but the alternative was to leave Danny's hot, wriggling body and that was not something Steve was ready to do just yet.
"If you move, I can get naked too," Danny said, pushing on his chest. Steve shook his head, kissing Danny breathless. "No? You don't want me naked?"
"I just want you," Steve said, hoping it made some sense. He couldn't bring himself to allow any distance between them as though if he lost his grip of Danny now, he'd never get it back.
"Listen to me," Danny was saying, his palms cupping Steve's jaws. "Are you listening?"
Steve nodded and tried to kiss him but Danny held firm. "I'm listening."
"You have me. I'm not going anywhere. Unless you do something incredibly stupid, you have me. If you'll move to the side, you'll have me naked."
"I do have you, right?" Steve asked. God when had he become so needy? Was that what being in love did? Oh. In love. Is that what he and Danny were declaring?
"Yes, you goof. I wouldn't be here otherwise. Why are you perseverating so?"
"I…" Steve didn't know what he was going to say and decided it didn't matter after all. He kissed Danny in hopes that he'd understand that too. He slid off Danny, yanking his briefs down until Danny could kick them off. Steve felt Danny's erection spring free, and he needed to see and touch. The sight of Danny's erection was beautiful, a work of art made flesh. "Oh."
"Smooth," Danny laughed, shoving Steve's hand down. "Don't just look. Touch."
Steve nodded, taking a gentle hold of Danny's cock, enjoying the privilege of actually touching it. "I'm the first man to do this?"
"Except for me, yeah," Danny said. Steve rolled more onto his side when Danny shoved at his shoulder, gasping when Danny took a hold of Steve's erection.
"Oh God," Steve said, looking down between their bodies. "Oh dear God."
"Lube," Danny said, gesturing behind Steve who reached for the bag with his free hand. "Not that tube, babe. The other one."
Steve focused on the yellow and blue tube he had grabbed, fighting a blush at the identity of it.
"The pharmacist recommended I buy it," Danny said as Steve tried again.
"The pharmacist?" Steve asked. What was Danny talking about? What pharmacist?
"I had to ask the pharmacist which condoms and lube to buy," Danny said, breathless from Steve's careful strokes. "He told me we'd need Preparation H too."
"Was he embarrassed when you asked?" Steve asked as he finally got the lube open. He poured some on Danny's palm immediately appreciating the difference when Danny touched him again.
"No. I was. But he said he deals in embarrassing every day. He was very helpful and said it was good that we were practicing safe sex."
"We'll get tested, right?" Steve said, pouring lube into his own palm and spreading it on Danny. "So we won't have to use condoms?"
"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm clean. But until we know for sure, it's rubbers for us," Danny said.
"I'm clean too," Steve assured him. He debated about telling Danny that he had been recently tested at Catherine's insistence but didn't think their first sexual encounter was an appropriate time to discuss his history with Catherine.
"Did you break it off with Catherine?" Danny asked, reading his mind in that scary way of his.
"Yeah. The last time she was in town. When I realized I wanted her out of my bed so you could be in it," Steve admitted, kissing Danny before he could reply.
"Oh. Bet that wasn't too awkward."
"No more than talking about her to you right now," Steve said, reaching down for Danny's plump balls to roll them and make him forget his own name. When Danny's eyes practically rolled into the back of his head, Steve knew he'd succeeded in distracting him. "Don't you ever touch them?"
Danny shook his head, panting, his fists full of the comforter.
"Oh," Steve said. "Good to know they are this sensitive."
"I had no idea," Danny panted, his head thrashing as Steve continued to stroke his cock while rolling his balls. He spread his legs further apart allowing Steve even great access. "Oh God. I'm sorry."
"What?" Steve asked as he kissed Danny's stomach and licked in the creases of his hips. He couldn't imagine what Danny was apologizing for. Enjoying himself?
"You," Danny gasped, waving a weak hand in Steve's general direction. "Neglect."
"No problem, babe. You'll deal when you're ready," Steve said, kissing him again. He moved up Danny's body with his mouth, grazing his nipples with his teeth.
"Ow," Danny said, frowning.
"You don't like it?" Steve asked, licking the red nubs.
"Your tongue. Not your teeth."
"Okay," Steve said, cataloging that information. It was going to be great fun to discover what Danny did and did not like. Steve could only use himself as a guide and he'd enjoyed it when women had occasionally bitten his nipples. "How many women have you slept with?"
"Uhmm…" Danny said, trying to focus on Steve. But he failed. "Uhmm…"
"Never mind," Steve said, kissing him again. Steve smiled at Danny's incoherence, pleased beyond measure that he was the one doing this to Danny – making him unable to talk was a triumph of major proportions. Steve was determined to find more ways to render him speechless. Oh the fun to be had for them both.
"Stop thinking," Danny requested, his unfocused eyes searching Steve's face. Steve smiled at the words, leaning down to kiss them out of his mouth.
"You are bossy," Steve said, sucking Danny's lower lip into his mouth before releasing it with a wet, sloppy noise. Danny was nearly gone from the sensations Steve was creating for him and decided to put them both out of their misery. He increased the speed and tightness of the strokes on Danny's cock, Danny wiggling at the motions.
"Too fast," Danny panted. Steve slowed down, filing away that piece of intel as well. Steve liked it when women pumped him with fast, long strokes but Danny didn't. Steve found the rhythm and speed that made Danny gasp, his mouth open to try and get enough air. It wasn't long before Danny was coming all over Steve's hand, Steve leaning down to kiss him as he recovered. "Oh my…." Danny hummed.
"Uh huh," Steve agreed, kissing Danny's red face, waiting for his breathing to even out.
"Eleven," Danny said, his eyes still closed, his right hand sneaking up Steve's thigh to encircle his erection.
"What?" Steve asked. The feel of Danny's hand back on his cock was causing mental overload. Not that he minded. At all. But what was Danny talking about?
"Lay down," Danny said, guiding Steve onto his back and sitting up next to him. It was Danny's turn to lean over Steve and kiss him breathless. Steve liked it. More than liked it really. "I've had sex with 11 women."
"Oh," Steve said, considering that information. "I'd have guessed more."
"I lived at home through college. I married Rachel just after I graduated. There wasn't a lot of time," Danny said. "How many have you slept with?"
"I don't think I should tell you," Steve decided, wondering what Danny would think if he knew the truth.
"You're a sailor, Sailor. Of course you've slept with way more women than I have. You put on your Navy Dress Blues and they fling themselves at you."
"Fling themselves?" Steve huffed. "Like Mardi Gras beads?"
"Yeah. Women probably fall from the heavens for a chance to be with you."
Steve knew the color was rising on his face and it wasn't because of what Danny's hands were doing. It was because of what Danny was saying. "It's never rained women," Steve finally said, lifting his head to watch the tip of his erection appear and disappear in Danny's fist. For someone with limited experience, he sure had a lot of talent.
"I'm sure if it had, you'd tell me it was classified," Danny said, gently grasping Steve's balls and rolling them in his fingers the way Steve had done for him.
"Sure," Steve said with a gasp. God that felt good. "When are we going all the way?"
"No idea. Do you want a taste of it now?" Danny asked. He released Steve's testicles to rub over his opening, Steve lifting his hips without realizing it. "You like it?"
"Oh yeah," Steve said, spreading his legs wider. "Do it."
"You want me to go in?" Danny asked, still teasing at the crinkled opening.
"You'll need more lube," Steve decided, reaching over for it and handing it down to Danny.
"All right," Danny agreed, pouring it on Steve's hard stomach and coating his fingers. "Tell me to stop if it gets to be too much."
Steve nodded, raising his head to watch. Not that he could see what Danny's hand below him was doing. "Oh," he gasped as Danny breeched his body.
"Oh bad or oh good?" Danny asked, the tip of his finger holding still inside Steve.
"I don't know," Steve admitted. "It's…weird."
"More?" Danny asked, wiggling his finger just a little.
"More," Steve agreed, laying flat to stare up at the ceiling. He concentrated on breathing and relaxing, the first more successful than the second. "Hold on."
Danny stopped with his index finger inside up to his second knuckle. He watched Steve who was breathing deeply.
"Maybe this is a mistake," Steve suggested. How did any man enjoy this? It felt wrong, more like a violation than a stimulus.
"I haven't gotten to the good part yet," Danny told him, continuing to stroke Steve's erection that was trying to wilt. "Let me try a little more."
Steve nodded, not sure that's what he wanted. But he trusted Danny implicitly and knew he would never do anything to hurt him – physically or emotionally. Not intentionally at any rate. Steve nearly jolted off the bed when Danny inserted his finger all the way, bumping into Steve's prostate.
"Oh. Oh my God," Steve panted, jerking with pleasure each time Danny rubbed over his gland. "Oh God."
"Good, huh?" Danny teased, leaning down to kiss Steve's stomach. He would have liked to kiss Steve's mouth but wasn't sure the logistics would work in either of their favors. Damn Steve for being so tall.
"It's… yeah. Oh yeah. Faster," Steve panted, his hips lifting to follow Danny's hand when it surged up his cock. "Oh yeah. Just like that." Steve felt like there were fireworks about to go off low in his stomach and spine and wondered if they would be fatal. If so, he couldn't regret it because what a way to go. "Oh God," he gasped before he tipped over the edge, everything blurring out except Danny's hand around his erection. That was the only thing he knew until he started to come back to himself.
"Well," Danny was saying as Steve began to surface. "I guess that's a yes then."
"Shut up," Steve said, not meaning it. He reached up for Danny, bringing him closer to kiss the smirk off his face. "Holy mother of God."
Danny laughed, kissing Steve again. "Okay."
"I have a religious experience and your reaction is 'okay'?" Steve asked, smiling at Danny.
"Yep. And that we'll do it again. Soon," Danny said, laying down mostly on top of Steve, working the comforter out from under them so he could pull it over their relaxed, sated bodies. "We have to be at Mom's at 5:30."
"We do?" Steve asked in a sleepy voice.
"She made lasagna. We're going to eat it."
"Okay," Steve said, his eyes drifting closed, his body drifting. He was almost asleep when he felt Danny talking against the skin of his collarbone. "What?"
"What?" Danny said, lifting up to look at Steve.
"What did you say?"
"Maybe I said I love you. But not if you don't want me to," Danny said softly.
Steve laughed, pulling Danny up to kiss him soundly. "I know you love me, Danno."
"You are so arrogant."
"No. I know you love me because I love you," Steve said, kissing him again. Danny was smiling when he lay back down and thought he'd never stop. He was just fine with that. Because Steve had come home safe and Danny would make sure he stayed that way.