Author's Notes: Sorry for the long delay. I have been dealing with so much bullshit at work that it has drastically reduced my creative inspiration. If it helps I think about every story I'm writing every day, and I do plan on finishing all of them. I've been dealing with this stuff for about a year, and that's right around the time my writing slowed down. I'm sorry for that, and I really don't know when it will change, but I will try to get as much writing done when I have the motivation. Please try to bare with me, and know I do appreciate all of your wonderful reviews. Thank you all and I hope this does not discourage you from reading.
Please review and let me know if your still with me.
Special thanks to Spikelissa for her wonderful beta job.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter Title and Lyrics belong to Puddle of Mudd's 'Blurry'
Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
After Castiel left, all eyes turned on Buffy. She looked up at the three men staring at her and after what she thought was an amusing reply, she sighed when all she got in return was blank stares.
"Look I know you all have questions for me, but do you think that can wait for just a few more minutes?" She paused, holding out her already healing hand, and grimaced at the crooked way her wrist was bent. "If I don't re-break my wrist and wrap it, I'm not going to be any help to you for a little while."
Bobby walked over and crouched in front of her. "Let me see it."
Buffy held out her wrist to the elderly man, and he whistled. "Well I'll be. Never seen something like this in all my years, and trust me little lady, I've seen a lot."
"What is it?" Dean asked, as he came and stood next to Bobby.
"She's right. Her hand needs re-breaking all right. The bone, it's almost healed." Bobby said indicating the break with his finger.
They both looked at Buffy for answers, but Dean was the one who spoke. "How?"
Buffy rolled her eyes, before they wandered over to Sam. He was sitting with his back to them on the other bed, but she could tell that he was listening. She sighed; this was bad. He was really pissed.
"I'm immortal." Buffy said keeping her eyes on Sam. "I'm also known as a Slayer in my world. I'm a demon hunter like you…only of the Chosen variety."
She looked back at the other two men. "Now do you think one of you could get me an ace bandage, and something to use as a splint? There should be everything you need in my bag."
Dean stood up and moved to the bag she was talking about. He unzipped the leather duffel bag, keeping his eye on Bobby the whole time. His eyes strayed to her bag, and he held his breath at the medieval arsenal that greeted him. "Holly shit! Where'd you get all this?"
Dean had never seen so many swords and…was that a stake? 'What the hell? Who was this girl?'
He spotted a metal box labeled first aid, underneath a wicked looking axe. He lifted the offending object off the box, and yanked it out. Underneath that he spotted a few pieces of wood that looked like they'd make a good splint, so he pulled one out. Dean made his way back to Buffy as she watched him in amusement.
"Thanks. Now, yank, and twist to the right." Buffy said holding out her crooked wrist.
Dean stared at her dainty, abnormally jagged wrist, and grimaced. He didn't want to re-break this girl's wrist, especially because she had so obviously been looking out for Sammy this whole time.
That's what he tried telling himself at least. The truth was though, he didn't want to cause pain to anyone in any way, ever again, and he hoped that the sickness in his stomach would pass. Bile rose to the back of his throat at the memory of Hell. So many souls he tortured, so many people. 'God…those screams still ring like a friggin bell in my head.'
"I don't think I can." He whispered instead.
Buffy looked at Dean and saw the guilt and regret that he had written all over his features, and immediately regretted asking. She tried to play it off to his benefit as best she could. So, she pouted, and looked at the older gentleman. "Oh, what a big baby, he doesn't want to hurt little old me. You'll re-break my wrist, won't you?"
Bobby rolled his eyes and couldn't help the smile that quirked his lips. He imagined that lip of hers got her everywhere with most men, but Bobby Singer was no fool. She may not be evil, but that didn't mean he trusted her, and though he would fix her wrist so that he could hear her whole explanation. So far, he wasn't buying it.
Bobby, however, didn't know what Dean's problem is right now, and his eyes strayed warily to him for a second. The boy had never been squeamish about broken bones before, and not for the first time; Bobby wondered if Dean had lied about remembering Hell.
He met the mystery girl's eyes and gently wrapped his left hand right above the break, before he grabbed on to her hand with his right, and did exactly like she instructed. She cried out and whimpered, biting on her bottom lip, but that was the only response besides a, "Thanks," grunted under her breath.
After she had wrapped her wrist like a professional, she looked at them all and said in a monotone emotionless voice, much like the angel they had just dealt with. "Into every generation a Slayer is born, that's how this started for me…"
Buffy decided to tell them everything. Hoping that they would realize that it would be impossible for someone to make up such an outrageous story. Plus, she had also felt guilty for keeping who she was from Sam this whole time. She was leaving out her and Spike's relationship though, that was private. But she told them about Angel. Unashamed that she had been so careless at such a young age. She had been very impressionable back then, and there are hundreds of girls who could have made the same mistakes. She wasn't ashamed of her past, no matter how much she did regret it.
After all, she had learned from her mistakes hadn't she? So much so, that she had tried to keep the one person who really mattered at arm's length the whole time she knew him. That evil bitterness she felt all the time now washed into her mouth as she spoke.
She tried to cover it up when she talked about Faith and the Mayor, and even when she told them about the Initiative and Riley, but when she spoke of their breakup, she couldn't cover it up anymore. It was hard reliving this stuff, especially with total strangers, but she had learned in the past sometimes that's what you needed to do.
When it got to the point where she began to tell them about Glory and her sister, she almost froze completely. She had never been good at the talking thing, and part of her wished she didn't have to say anything at all.
"I fought, what I like to refer to as, The-Crazy-Hell-Bitch, and though I defeated her…" She looked at Dean then with understanding in her eyes.
"It was too late. My sister, you see, wasn't always my sister. She was a mystical key thingy, that could tear into every dimension with a drop of her blood, and the ritual had already begun."
Buffy closed her eyes then, letting the memory of that fateful day overtake her. "I could feel the energy pulsating as I watched my world begin to get torn into pieces. The crackling sound it made, as it ripped at the fabric of my reality, was unbelievably loud. My sister tried to push past me, but I stopped her. She was going to jump off the tower we were standing on. She was going to stop the portal herself."
Buffy paused and took a deep breath. "It was all about her blood. The portal wouldn't close until her blood stopped flowing, and that's when I figured it out!" She opened her eyes, meeting the eyes of everyone in the room and letting the emotion and knowledge of that day flow into them.
"It wasn't only her blood that could seal the rift; it was mine too. The monks, who had created her and sent her to me, had made her out of me. We had the same blood, and death was my gift. It was my gift to her. I die, save her life, and in the process, I save the world. I had no problem with that, and I knew my death would save everyone. So, I jumped."
She paused then swallowing down the emotions that the memory was evoking. "I felt my body die from the energy that surrounded me, and the next thing I knew…I-I wasn't in pain anymore. I felt…I can't describe it exactly, but I knew I was done. I had done my job and all my worries for everyone, washed away. The warmth I felt…the peace. It was nothing I have ever experienced before, and probably never will again.
I was dead three months when my best friend, who is a very powerful Witch, decided to resurrect me." She looked at the men staring at her in awe and smiled to herself. 'Thank god', even Sam decided to give her his full attention now.
"When she brought me back, she made a little mistake in the translation. She called me the warrior of the people, not a warrior of the people. Apparently, the the made a difference. It's singular. As if I'm the only one. Anyway, that little fuck up made me it, made me the only one. I'm immortal because of a wrong word spoken in a spell.
We didn't know it right away of course. In fact, it took me almost two years to figure it out. Even when we were fighting the First…"
"The First?" Dean questioned.
"The First Evil. I don't really know if it was the true First, especially since my whole theory on it being the true Lucifer just got blown out of the water. But if I were to guess, maybe it was the one who corrupted the angel itself. I'm not really familiar with the Bible, or Hell, or even God, for that matter, but I know how it worked in my world. I know that the demons there came first, and I know that the Powers created them."
Buffy shook her head, they were getting off topic. "Anyway, I was immortalized by the spell. It actually gets worse though…"
This was hard. Saying this to strangers was worse. It was funny, in a not so funny way, how much easier it had been telling Spike. He had been her mortal enemy after all. He could have used that information to hurt her in a number of ways, and even though at the time she was still aware of his love for her. Voicing what was taken from her should have been difficult. With him though, it never was. Maybe she was even in love with him back then, but was too broken to actually feel it.
"When Willow brought me back, she thought she was doing the right thing. She thought I was in Hell, but as I've already hinted at, I wasn't." She looked at them then, her eyes brimming with tears that she tried to stamp down. "I was at peace… I-I was in Heaven, and when I came back, it really was like being in Hell."
Sam finally stood and came and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her, as Bobby and Dean watched him in fascination. Normally, both Bobby and Dean would have been calling this girl a liar demanding all sorts of proof. However, what they had walked in on, gave them pause to demand said proof.
This girl didn't seem to be manipulative like Ruby, and the fact that she clearly didn't trust the demon bitch, was giving her major brownie points in their book. Well, that and the fact that an angel, of all things insane, seemed to know who this girl was.
Sam watched as Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes, before asking, "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"
Buffy sniffled miserably, as she leaned against his shoulder. "I wasn't supposed to. The Powers or Gods who run my world don't trust you."
Buffy then whispered so low only he could hear it. "And they were right, weren't they?"
Sam stiffened but didn't respond. He didn't know what to think, or who to believe now. He really trusted Ruby though. He saved so many lives because of his power. How in the world could he be doing something wrong? "So why are you telling me now?"
Buffy's eyes met Dean's and she smiled gently at him, "Because my orders were not to tell you, unless Dean was released from Hell. They don't trust you without him around. They think you are easily corrupted, and that your brother is the only one who keeps you grounded."
Buffy's head then turned, and she studied the indignation on Sam's face. His whole body had gone rigged at her simple explanation, and she couldn't help the regret she felt for being the one to cause it. She silently cursed the Powers for their foresight, wishing they didn't get to be right all the time. She liked Sam when he wasn't being a jackass, they had gotten close hunting together, and she hated that their friendship might be ruined because of this.
"You know," Sam ground out, as he stood tearing himself away from Buffy. "If you had just told me everything in the beginning, I might not have started working with Ruby in the first place."
It was Buffy's turn to look indignant, as she stood and crossed her arms. Okay so this was one of his jackass moments. "Maybe," She countered, "But do you want to hear what I think would have happened?"
Sam just glared at her, and that's when she remembered her audience. Her eyes strayed to Dean's who was glaring at his brother with such fury. If his eyes had been daggers, Sam would be dead. The older man, however, just looked very worried. His eyes kept moving to Dean's, and she watched as he laid his hand on Dean's arm in an attempt to restrain him.
He whispered something to Dean that sounded like, "Let them hash this out, and then you can beat the tar out of him." Dean nodded curtly and met Buffy's eyes; his expression softened some, and he tilted his head for her to go ahead.
Buffy's anger deflated a bit, and she met Sam's glaring gaze again. Her next words were much calmer than they would have been otherwise. "I think you would have told Ruby about me."
Sam sputtered at that, and Buffy held up her hand to forestall any reply. "I think that you wouldn't have believed my story at all. When she started popping up again, you would have tried to find out if I was telling the truth. I think she would have lied to you then. Probably, something like my story was impossible; there's no way I'm telling the truth; and you would have believed her. Even after all the tests you put me through when we first met."
"That's not true!" Sam bellowed, but Buffy didn't even flinch.
"Isn't it?" She whispered, holding his gaze. "You've been so hell bent on vengeance these past few months that you haven't been able to see straight. You're gonna sit here, look me in the eye, and try to tell me that if I had told you my whole story at the beginning, you wouldn't have assumed that I was some kind of nut-job, or worse, that I was working with Lilith." Buffy shook her head in exasperation. "All you've thought about was killing her, anything to take her down, and Ruby's been right there at the sidelines egging you on and whispering in your ear. But the worst part is you don't even realize what else she's making you do."
Buffy's eyes filled with pain then as she remembered the promise that had been made to her by her mortal enemy. The promise that he had kept by taking care of Dawn the summer she had been gone. The memory was so thick she could almost reach out and touch it.
Buffy saw Spike in her living room back in Sunnydale. He was talking about the weapons they needed to hold off Glory's minions.
"We're not all gonna make it. You know that." She said voicing her worst fears. What was it about Spike that always made her want to open up to him when they were alone? It hadn't always been that way, but lately it has become a far too common occurrence.
"Yeah." He answered quietly, gathering a few more weapons and then walking towards her. He smiled gently then, one of almost resignation, like he already knew his fate.
"Hey! Always knew I'd go down fighting."
"I'm counting on you…to protect her." Buffy said, hoping her trust was well placed. She knew she was using his feelings for her, but she also really did count on him right now. The counting on him lately has also become a far too common occurrence.
"Until the end of the world," He swore, without hesitation. "Even if that happens to be tonight."
It was then that Buffy knew she could trust him. It was then that she knew she had made the right decision, and a part of her, fell a little bit in love with him.
She was pulled out of her memory by Sam's snarled. "What have I done?"
Buffy looked at him sadly for long moments, finally replying. "You broke your promise to Dean."
"She killed my brother!" Sam yelled.
At that moment, Dean completely snapped. He strode forward with purpose, grabbing hold of Sam and turning him around to face him. "Well I'm alive now!"
Dean hit Sam once, and then grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "What is she making you do, Sam? How are you using your powers?"
Sam's eyes widened at the look on Dean's face. He was pissed! Sam swallowed hard and held up his hands. "Let me explain!"
The punch came again, but this time it wasn't a surprise. Sam grabbed the fist in midair; he grabbed it without even realizing it. Courtesy of the demon blood still pumping through his veins, his reflexes were heightened.
Dean's eyes widened in disbelief, Sam had never been able to do that before! His eyes then narrowed in suspicion. What the hell had been going on while he was gone? He stepped back and shook his head at Sam, anger and disgust written all over his features. "How could you Sam? After everything I said about not letting them use me as your weakness."
Guilt shown on Sam's face, and he shook his head sadly as he looked at his brother's hurt and angry expression. "You don't understand Dean. Ruby and I, we're exercising demons. We're saving people's lives."
"Yeah!" Dean growled. "Then why do you have the same look on your face, as the time I caught you trying to sneak out of the motel room to see that Stephanie chick."
"Come on man, what was I supposed to do? You were gone. I had no one!" Sam exclaimed angrily.
"That's a bunch of bullshit, and you know it!" Dean shouted back. "You had her," He pointed at the fiery blonde. "Who, apparently was sent to help you," He then pointed at Bobby, "And you had Bobby! Who is the closest person to you as family! Why you chose Ruby over them, I'll never understand."
Sam knew it was a weak excuse, even before he said it, but the words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. "I knew she was hiding something."
Dean looked at Sam in disbelief, his head shaking from side to side. "Un-fucking-believable! You know what Sam. I'm done. Go exorcise demons with Ruby for all I care. You obviously can't listen to reason anymore," And with that Dean turned around, and marched out of Sam's motel room, slamming the door so hard they were lucky the doorframe didn't splinter.
Bobby stood there staring at Sam in annoyance. "Boy! For as much book smarts as you got, you really can be an idget sometimes."
Neither man noticed Buffy slip out the door.
Buffy walked out to the parking lot, not surprised when Dean was nowhere in sight, she patted her pockets; thankful she had her car keys. As she headed for her Desoto, she unwrapped her hand, flexing her fingers, and twirling her wrist to make sure the bone already healed. Most of the time, she hated the quickness in which she healed, but on occasions like this, when she really needed it. She was grateful.
Buffy slid into the driver's seat and started the engine, smiling when it roared to life. She loved the familiar hum vibrating against her finger tips. It was like an old reliable friend, always there when she needed it.
She had decided to buy the car shortly after Spike's second death. It was in a junk yard on the out skirts of Cleveland, and she had just saved the owner from a Grimslaw demon.
Seeing the old rust bucket hidden in the back of the yard, she had immediately made an offer on it. The man, being as grateful as he was to still be alive, had given it to her for free.
Buffy ended up spending a pretty penny to get the car restored, but it had been worth it. Spike had once told her he loved this car, and Buffy had nothing of his left to remember him by. Except maybe the money he left for her and Dawn. It seemed only fair to spend a small portion of it on something that would always remind her of him.
As she pulled out of her parking spot and then exited the parking lot, she spotted Dean walking up the road a few blocks ahead of her. She hoped he was a little more trusting than Sam was, as she slowed down and pulled up alongside him. Buffy leaned across the seat, and rolled down the passenger window. "Need a ride?"
Dean eyed her warily. Something inside of him said he could trust her, but he couldn't help his cautious attitude. He wondered about her car too. It looked old and enormous compared to her. Though, the restoration was definitely recent. "You're not exactly driving a chick car, are you? What is that a fifty-nine?"
Buffy snorted. "Yeah." She shrugged, saying. "A friend of mine used to have one just like it. I got it for its sentimental value, even had it restored to look like his." Buffy patted the steering wheel affectionately and smiled, adding. "Plus I needed something when I go on these types of missions. It's an easy way to dimension hop."
Dean just stared at her as she rolled her eyes. "Look, I get you not trusting me, more than you could ever know, but do you think we can just stop with the wary-eyeball."
She reached over and pulled out the gun she had in her glove box, handing it to Dean, butt first. "Here! As much as I hate guns being pointed at me. I'll allow you to do it this once, if it helps you trust me." She paused, sighing. "All I want is some food, and a quiet place we can talk."
Dean took hold of the gun, checking to see if it was loaded as he eyed her suspiciously. Satisfied, with his discovery, he opened the car door and slid into the passenger's seat, flipping the safety off. "I thought I couldn't kill you?"
Buffy looked at him and nodded, as she pulled the car away from the curb. "Oh, you can't, but a gun can still put me down for a couple of days. And if it's a head shot, it takes even longer."
Satisfied with her response Dean nodded, watching her as she drove.
"Hey, how about some tunes!" Buffy said trying to lighten the mood, as she flipped her radio on. She watched Dean flinch slightly at her sudden movement, reminding her of what it was like to come back from heaven.
Dean cringed and looked at Buffy in horror when some pop-hit he didn't recognize came on. She bit her lip trying to suppress her laughter, as she quickly changed the channel. Hoping the rock station she found was up to his standards. Normally, she would have made him suffer through her stuff, but she figured the poor guy probably had been tortured enough for one lifetime.
They drove in awkward silence for awhile, until Buffy pulled into an old rundown grill. "So I was thinking, burgers?"
Dean was silent for a minute. Part of him was still trying to figure this girl out. The things she had said sounded almost impossible, but amazingly enough he found himself believing her. He didn't know why that was, and he wondered if part of himself only wanted to believe her.
He knew that wasn't true though, because he couldn't really feel anything right now. Even with Sam. If this had been a normal day, Dean would have beaten the shit out of his brother, especially after what he had heard. However, a part of him didn't even care. A very big part of him was willing to let Sam fall. Coming home to this was not what he had been expecting.
"Yeah," He whispered, trying to give her a sincere smile. "Burgers sound great."
Buffy studied his stiff position and forced smile. She felt bad for him, knowing firsthand what it was like to come back from the dead. She wished there was something she could do to help him, but she knew that only time would help him heal…Time, and someone to be there to listen when he was ready to talk about it.
She slid out of the car turning around to acknowledge Dean again. "What kind of burger do you want?"
He didn't seem to hear her at first, and she was just about to ask again, when he responded. "A bacon cheese burger."
Buffy nodded, saying only, "I'll be right back."
He watched her go, replaying the events of the day in his head. He couldn't believe Sam. After everything he had asked of the kid, everything he had tried to warn him about. He couldn't believe Sam would disregard him so easily. Though, at the same time he knew Sam would have done anything to get him out of Hell. He wondered briefly if that's what Ruby had been using to get Sam to use his power. It didn't sound like it though. Buffy had said more than once that Sam was focused on vengeance, and on killing Lilith.
Dean wondered how long it took for Sam to give in to his dark-side, how much of a fight he really put up. He hated thinking in those kinds of terms, but part of Dean was terrified that his brother really was going to become a monster.
He loved Sam; he knew. Even if it wasn't the easiest thing to feel right now, and he was scared to death, that his dad was right. That he might actually have to kill Sam one day, and he already knew that was something he would never be able to do.
He just hoped Buffy was really on his side. He really did want to believe her. Those eyes of hers had a way of making you trust, even when it wasn't in his nature. He decided then and there that he would at least give her the chance to prove herself.
They needed all the allies they could get, especially if what that thing said was true. He still didn't want to believe that man had been an angel, but he doesn't have a lot of options right now. If what the creature said was true, and Lilith really was trying to release Lucifer. They would be royally screwed if she succeeded.
Buffy opened the car door, pulling Dean out of his musing. He looked over at her in surprise, realizing he hadn't even seen her coming. She tossed him the greasy paper bag and handed him a soda as she hopped in the car.
"Where are we going now?" Dean asked as she placed her soda between her thighs and started the engine.
She looked at him shyly out of the corner of her eye, as she quickly got them back on the road. "There's this great park, about a mile up the road." She shrugged, "Thought it would be a good place to have a conversation."
He studied her for a long minute, before shrugging. "Sounds like a plan."
Buffy got them there in no time. She pulled into the parking lot, and got out with her soda in hand. She walked over to an empty bench and set the soda on the table, as Dean followed with the bag of burgers and his own soda.
He set them down on the wooden table opening the bag. "Which one is yours?"
Buffy shrugged smiling. "Doesn't matter. They're both the same."
Dean looked at her surprised for a minute, before he shook his head. "I thought girls like you only eat salads and veggie burgers."
Buffy raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
He shrugged sheepishly, running a hand over his hair. "You know."
"Actually I don't." Buffy said, biting the inside of her cheek to stifle the laughter at how uncomfortable he looked.
"Um…well…girls, who usually aren't over weight, are always trying to watch their figure." He answered lamely.
"Oh, so you think that all girls who are overweight don't then?" Buffy said, wondering how long it would take before Dean figured out she was messing with him.
He looked at her in horror for a minute, wondering how he had dug himself a hole so quickly. Normally, that came after he had slept with them. "I never said that."
It was then that he noticed her lips twitching in amusement. "Wait a minute. Are you fucking with me?"
"Yes," she said, as peals of laughter erupted from her mouth. She shook her head snickering as Dean glared at her. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."
When he said nothing, Buffy sighed. She peeled the wrapper off her burger taking a huge bite, and sitting down on the bench. When she finished chewing she shrugged her shoulders. "It's the one perk of being immortal. No pesky weight gain. My metabolism is too high."
"That must be nice." Dean said snidely, still a little perturbed by the fact that she had been messing with him.
Buffy's lips thinned, as she stared passed Dean and watch a mother pushing her daughter on the swing set. Longing filled her eyes as she watched the little girl laugh giddily when her mother gave her a hard push that sent her soaring.
She would never have that. She'd never get to know what it was like to have a child of her own, because she would never have a family, not if she had to watch them all die. It was hard enough knowing that she would be going through that with the people she loved back home, but to go through that with her own child was something she knew she couldn't do.
"No," Buffy whispered. "Actually, it really sucks."
Dean followed Buffy's line of sight, and felt like a douche when he saw what she was looking at. "Look," He sighed. "I'm sorry okay, but if you expect me to trust you, you need to start talking."
Buffy ate some more of her burger. After she finished chewing, she took a quick sip of her soda. "I didn't bring you out here to get you to trust me."
Dean's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What?"
Buffy shrugged taking another bite of her burger. "It's the truth. I can't convince you to trust me, and I wouldn't expect you to…" She paused taking another sip of soda. "And as helpful as it would be if you did immediately trust me, I think I would be really worried if you did."
Dean studied her, trying to gauge if she was lying. "So why did you bring me out here?"
Buffy looked at him, crumpling the wrapper in her hand and tossing it in the trash next to him. "Because I need your help."
"And why would I do that?" Dean asked. Preparing himself for the other shoe to drop.
"Because our interests are the same. You want Sam to stop using his power, and so do I." Buffy answered. "And I can't do that without you."
Dean's shoulders slumped at her words, and he put his head down. "How bad has he gotten?"
Buffy sat quietly for a moment, trying to pick the right words. "Dean, your brother isn't a bad person, and I know he's convinced himself he's doing the right thing…I just…I've seen firsthand what happens to people when they think they're doing the right thing by messing with the dark stuff. It never ends well."
"Yeah." Dean sighed "It's the same song I've been singing this whole time." He came and sat down next to her running a hand over his face. "I'm just so fucking exhausted." He sighed, "I don't know if I'm ready to deal with this shit right now."
Buffy nodded. "You're not, and the fact that you have to deal with this now totally sucks, but we don't have a choice."
Buffy paused and looked down at the stone around her neck, fingering it for a minute. "I know for sure that Ruby's up to no good, and I can prove it."
Dean looked at her surprised. "Why haven't you told Sam that already?"
"I wasn't supposed to tell Sam, who I was until you got back, remember? And the proof I have…there would have been way too many questions. I couldn't risk it."
Dean supposed he couldn't really blame the girl if she was following orders. He understood that more than anyone. What he didn't understand though is why his family was so important. Why did this crap keep happening to them? "I don't get it? Why the hell are we so important?" Dean asked looking at her. "I mean why me, why save me."
Buffy studied him silently for a long time, not really knowing any other way than just to tell him. "I don't know, but usually when the higher-ups do something like this, it's because you're a champion."
Dean was startled by her reply, and had no words. This had to be some kind of a joke. 'Me a champion, yeah right!'
Buffy unclasped her necklace and handed it to Dean. "A friend of mine made me this before I started doing the dimension hopping gig. It glows red if a person or demon's intentions are bad, and whenever I'm in the room with Ruby it lights up like a Christmas tree… but you don't need to believe me. Keep it for yourself, and see if I'm lying."
"You really don't need to give me this." Dean said gruffly, trying to hand it back to her.
"Keep it, I have another." Buffy said shrugging. "I even have one for Sam, if he ever pulls his head out of his ass."
She sighed, running her hand over her hair, and freeing it from her clip. "I hate this you know… You shouldn't have had to come home to this. I should have been able to stop Ruby, before she got her claws in your brother. I should have just killed her."
Dean shook his head. "This isn't your fault. Sam can be a stubborn whiney bitch sometimes. If he's got it in his head that he's doing the right thing, it's even worse."
Buffy looked at Dean in surprise. "Does that mean you'll help me?"
Dean nodded. "I would have done it anyway; he's my brother. Can I ask you something though?"
"Why do you do this? Help other worlds?" Dean asked.
Buffy bit her lip and looked away. "Because I lost someone I love, and home's not the same anymore." She stood and began to walk back towards the car. "Whenever you're ready to go back, let me know."