Let me start by saying that I absolutely hated the finale. Not that it wasn't drop dead, heartbreakingly amazing - because it was. But seriously, Hart Hanson, did you have to end it like that?
So this is my way of getting through the next months until we can see what really happens: letting my imagination run wild and hoping some of the good stuff in this story comes true.
I'm not a spoiler-free type of person, but frankly, this is all speculation: I'll try to keep myself spoiler-less until done this story (or until spoilers start getting really accurate, but when they do I'll stick to my own imaginary world and not let them get to me).
As much as I love the characters in the show, my versions of them are always a little twisted. Mainly Brennan, because as much as I'd like to, I just can't make her the extreme-rationality person she is on the show. I feel that, no matter how deep down inside her, there's a part of her that is completely irrational (thanks to Booth). So pretty much all my characters are, well, OOC. Also, this may be a little AU. And I'll spare you from my lame, horrible attempts at solving the crime with science. I'll leave that to your imagination.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones, because if I did, let's just say a lot would be different.
There was a moment.
There was a moment as she watched him walk away, that small promise – "I'll get the car" – seeming to breaking her heart, because for that moment she saw herself in his eyes. She saw the pain and the sadness he would feel the moment she got into that car.
But she didn't allow herself to feel, because she couldn't.
She called out to him, offering her last words of love for what she thought might be an eternity.
"I love you Booth. I don't want you to think that Christine is the only reason we're together."
She kissed him, and she watched him walk away, and a part of her died.
Everything after that was a blur. She buckled up Christine; she got into the car; she went over the plans with her father.
Her father, who once upon a time had abandoned her. Her father, who was the reason she was taking Christine today: she could not bear if her daughter felt the same abandonment she had once felt.
Why aren't you taking him? That irrational part of her brain – that part that had not existed, not until she met Booth, not until she felt what love truly was – begged her to turn back. You're not hurting your daughter. But what about him?
No, she thought firmly. Of course she'd thought of bringing along Booth. Of course she'd stood by his side, watching as he held Christine, watching the look of love and amazement on his face as he watched her being baptized. Of course she'd imagined a life where he had come along; a life where they would live in secret, but it didn't matter because she had him, and he had her.
But no. That rational part of her, that part of her that was the reason so many blamed her for the crime she did not commit, it had made an indestructible argument: Booth needed to be her. He would keep the team fighting. He would keep searching for answers, searching for her. She needed that right now: someone whom she could count on with her entire life, to find her no matter what she had done to him.
So she got into the car. She talked to her father. And she drove away.
But there was a moment, when she looked back, and he was there. He was there. He was standing in the road, and he was too far apart to see clearly, and yet she could. She could see the desperation in his movements, the pain and the torture and need to fall apart.
And then her eyes caught Christine's in the mirror.
Once upon a time, she had been indestructible. She had built walls of brick, a safe house for her heart. Once upon a time, she could've driven away and never looked back.
But she sees Christine and she wants to fall apart, the same way Booth must want to at that same moment, because he had gotten in. He had broken down her walls and pulled her out, and as comfort, as a way to protect her, he had become her safe house. He had become the keeper of her heart.
And she sees Christine, and she thinks of all the love she feels for him, all the love he feels for her, all symbolized in one tiny, squirming child.
So she turns back to the road and keeps driving. Because from a million choices, she picked this one.
Because I'm not selfish. I'm not doing this for me, Booth. I'm not doing this for Christine. I'm doing this for all of us.
I'm doing this for my family.
Hated it? Loved it? Sobbing as much as I am right now?