New chapter, and I have to tell this is the last one I had already written, so I have no idea when I'll publish the next one, because right now I have a gigantic plot bunny that I want to explore, so I guess my vacation time will be spent writing that :)
On the bright side, this chapter is all Pezberry interaction, so I hope you like it and you let me know.
Chapter 6: Slushies and tea
Santana didn't know what to do, and she certainly wasn't prepared to face Rachel Berry. Which was why she was annoyed with the world and decided that karma was a bitch when she entered the coffee shop next to the grocery store and saw that there was only one person in the row.
Santana sighed and closed her eyes, she tried to remember one of the speeches or possible conversations that she thought about the night before while trying to fall asleep, so she just kept walking and stood behind Rachel. She could see how the redhead girl behind the counter looked at the shorter brunette with dreamy eyes, and she couldn't help raising an eyebrow. Rachel was mumbling something, while rummaging in her bag.
"Here it is!" She said while taking a book and giving it to the barista. "Read it when you have time and then you let me know what you think."
Santana couldn't look at her face, but she was absolutely certain that Rachel Berry was sporting a gigantic smile.
"Thanks, Rachel. I've been looking for this book everywhere. I'll give it back to you in a couple of days."
That's what libraries and book stores are for, little bitch. Santana thought and rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, sure. No problem. Just read it calmly and try to remember the things that caught your attention so we can discuss them the next time I come for coffee," she said while taking her wallet and paying. Santana saw how the expression of the barista changed.
"About that…" The barista started while giving Rachel her change, "Maybe we could discuss it over lunch? I mean, I could take you to Breadstix. I know that they have vegan options." Rachel left the change as tip and Santana huffed, the readhead was as subtle as an earthquake.
As if the sound startled the girls, they both realized they weren't alone and both looked at the newcomer. Santana saw how Rachel's smile faltered, and she just wanted to run away and leave town and never ever see the girl again, but she wasn't a coward, so she did what she knew best, she smirked. Which made the shorter girl turn around.
"Yeah, sure…" Rachel answered, the hesitance was clear in her voice, and Santana couldn't help smiling to the other girl. "Text me with the time whenever you can," Rachel wrote down her number in one of the napkins and the other girl smiled and gave Rachel her cup, she smiled back and was ready to leave.
"Rachel," Santana whispered, the girl looked at her and raised an eyebrow, which made the taller girl uneasy. "Can we talk?" and before Rachel would say no, because Santana was sure she would, the cheerio added "please?"
Rachel sighed, nodded and started to walk to a table, Santana was about to say something about how Rachel wasn't speaking in paragraphs, ranting about her behaviour; but she decided not to tempt luck and shut up. By the time she turned to order, she smirked once again after seeing the barista clearly annoyed at the interruption.
"I want a raspberry slushy," Santana said, accentuating the last part of 'raspberry'. The barista huffed and went to the machine that was next to the cash register. Santana had wanted coffee, but the berry joke was too good to let it pass. The cheerio's smile widened while looking attentively how the girl prepared her order. She wouldn't risk any kind of 'revenge' from the girl. She thought about it, because if she was in the barista's position, she would spit in the client's drink or something, which is why Mr. Vega, almost like a psychic, had decided that she was best suited for the cashier position. She paid and got her change, obviously she didn't tip, and walked to sit in front of Rachel.
"Slushy?" Rachel asked looking at Santana's order.
"Yeah, I like it when it is not being thrown at my face," Rachel rolled her eyes and Santana smiled. "Are you drinking coffee?" and Santana was about to add that she shouldn't, because of the temperature and how acid it is, but then she stopped herself. She wouldn't join the 'let's smother poor sick Rachel' club, if the girl wanted to drink coffee she could.
"Lukewarm tea," Rachel said shrugging. They were silent for a while, Santana couldn't say how long, but it was long enough for Rachel to take three sips.
"I'm sorry," Santana said, and Rachel raised her eyes to look at her.
"Is this the part when you tell me that you are sorry for bullying me all these years, and that the reason for the bullying was because you were jealous, or because you didn't know better." Rachel said almost without breathing and Santana raised one eyebrow, she was about to interrupt when Rachel continued, "Oh wait! Even better, you truly wanted to be my friend but I was not popular, or is this when you tell me that my nose is really not that big? Because I've already heard those, Santana," Rachel said, looking tired. "I've heard them all."
Santana looked at Rachel with an incredulous expression. "Did they really say those things?" Rachel nodded with a sardonic smile. "Ay Dios mío!" Santana said laughing and Rachel joined her, which just made the bitchy barista look at her with deep-seated hatred.
"Yep, they did." Rachel sipped her tea again and Santana kept smiling.
"No, Rachel. I'm not going to say those things," that caught Rachel's attention. "This is the part when I tell you that I bullied you, because I truly thought you were annoying, I still think that your nose is big, and I say don't take it personally. Because as you well know I'm not only a bitch to you, but I'm a bitch to everybody."
"Really?" Rachel looked at her.
"Look, Berry. I'm sorry for the joke yesterday," Rachel huffed, "It's almost like… A common joke. It's not the first time I make it and it definitely won't be the last. It's the same freaking joke I say to Fabray whenever she decides to be a bitch and she practically demands VIP treatment when she goes to the grocery store. So let me repeat… Don't take it personally."
Rachel looked surprised, "So it wasn't about…"
"About the rest of the club being incredibly annoying, insensitive, and smothering cynical idiots? No, it wasn't about that," Santana smirked and Rachel laughed.
"So you see it, too. Don't you?" It wasn't a question, it was, at this point, common knowledge.
"It's pretty obvious, and your response to their new attitude screams 'leave me the hell alone'. I don't know why they keep doing it."
"I don't know," Rachel said shaking her head, "I've spoken to Finn and he just can't see it. At least my parents understood my point." Santana drunk some slushy trying not to look too much at Rachel. She knew what was coming and she knew that she wasn't very good with feelings.
"Are you uncomfortable?" Rachel asked smirking and Santana smiled.
"We've never been friends, yet somehow you've decided to trust me?" Santana tried to somehow change the subject by expressing her concern.
"I could have the same question, you know? You could be just talking to me because you want to know how to hurt me, or use whatever I say to your advantage, or you could just go around saying how ungrateful I am, or…"
"Touché," Santana said interrupting her because despite of the little ache that Rachel's distrust made her feel, she had to admit that, considering their history, the girl's worries were understandable.
Both girls didn't say a word and the silence between them was prolonged while they thought about their situation, but Rachel decided to take the decision for both of them.
"I feel being left behind," Santana raised an eyebrow, almost encouraging Rachel to continue. "Do you know how they have always insisted on how selfish I am, and how everything is about me?" Santana nodded. "Well, I feel that they have always been wrong. I mean… Yes, I've made some pretty selfish things, but so has every single member of New Directions, even Mister Schuester."
"I hate that he uses us as a device to solve his problems with Bambi eyes," Santana interrupted.
"Exactly." Rachel said, and sipped her tea like truly thinking what she would say next. "Now that for once I truly need things to be about me, they make it about them," Santana looked at her and nodded.
"They feel bad for you, but instead of trying to do what you truly need to feel ok, they do what they need so they don't feel guilty about the past. It's pretty… Fucked up." Santana said and then drunk some slushy.
"And I know that they have good intentions, and that makes everything even worse, because I feel guilty for being mad at them." Santana smiled and shook her head.
"Rachel, the truth is… We've all been awful to all the members of the glee club at some point, which is why I always laugh when they insist on saying that we are family, because in a very dysfunctional way, we are. We know our strengths and weaknesses and when we need it, we use them to get our ways." Santana shrugged and Rachel laughed.
"It's true, a very dysfunctional family."
"That's why sadly it took something like this for us all realize what being family truly means," Santana said. "I mean, it's awful that it had to take knowing about you having cancer for us all to see that maybe the same reasons why we disliked each other are the same reasons why we actually are a group, you know?"
"I've always appreciated your talents, Santana. I just…" She hesitated, "the solos were important to me, because they could open doors, there could be someone important in the audience who was looking for performers. And let's be honest, not all the glee club is looking for the same things."
Santana looked intently at her, she looked kind of lost and it was awkward. Because out of all of them, the only one who always had been vocal about her plans, about the future, had been Rachel, and now she had lost everything.
Rachel raised her eyes and Santana could feel how she needed to talk about this, with anyone, and she had to admit that the circumstances allowed her to be there, so she just nodded and Rachel continued. "I wanted to be on Broadway, and the solos were my way to be prepared, my way to feel like I deserved it. It is highly ironic that now that I've lost those dreams all that's left are people that disliked me for wanting those dreams in the first place." Santana shook her head.
"We disliked you because you are annoying, Rachel," and both smiled, relieved that that comment had lightened the mood.
"I don't want to sound ungrateful," Rachel said and Santana rolled her eyes, "It's good seeing how they worry about me, and want to help me. A part of me is thankful to see it and a part of me hates it, because they realized they care about me when there is a chance that I might die, and I hate them for it. Does that make me an awful person?" Rachel looked at Santana, with bright sad eyes.
Santana shook her head. "No, Rachel. It just makes you human." She said sincerely, and she could see a tear running down Rachel's cheek. For a moment she was tempted to dry Berry's tears, but that would be too much; not only to Rachel, but to Santana herself. Both looked through the window, trying to organize their ideas.
"And now not only the glee club looks at me weird and treats me differently, there's also the issue of the rest of the school knowing."
"Fucking Jewfro," Santana mumbled and Rachel nodded. "Look at the bright side, at least they stopped the slushy attacks," Santana added, trying to enlighten the mood.
"Yeah, but they only did it because they pity me. I never thought I'd say this, but… I wish someone would throw a slushy at me, that way I could feel like myself for a change." She said s,oñomg sadñy while looking at her tea.
"Don't tempt me, Berry. Don't tempt me." Santana said, raising her slushy and smirking.
They both smiled honestly.
I hope you let me know what you think :)