Is Anybody Out There?

A strong breeze cut through the chill autumn night, ruffling shaggy black hair and a fur-trimmed jacket. Crimson eyes stared down at the pavement from where he stood on the edge of the bridge, mind clouded with thought. His eyes didn't hold their usual spark, their playfulness, their teasing. For he finally understood what he had known for a long time now. No-one loved him. No-one cared for him. No-one needed him. It was almost laughable really, how easily he had gone from not having a care in the world to this sad state of depression that continuously threatened to overwhelm him.

Namie only tolerated him for his money. His sisters, Mairu and Kururi, would sell him out without a second thought if it meant they could meet their idol Yuuhei Hanejima. And Shizuo…

The wind changed direction, sweeping his hair over his eyes and stealing away his strangled laugh as tears began to roll silently down his pale face. Shizuo Heiwajima was a constant annoyance in his life, but not for the reason everyone seemed to assume. Now that he looked back on it he couldn't even figure out when it was that he realised what he felt for the blond bartender wasn't hatred, but love.

It hardly seemed to matter.

The way Shizuo looked at him, the way he acted and screamed at him, it was obvious that there was no way in hell the other would ever feel the same. His hatred was made perfectly clear every time they met, and that was why he didn't bother. There was no point confessing his feelings only to have the older man hate him even more for the knowledge.


Ah, there was that voice he knew so well, laced with anger and just a tiny hint of confusion. Izaya scrubbed his face of tears with the sleeve of his jacket. It was only natural for the blond to be confused at the sight of him, for it was a rare occasion when the information broker was still in Ikebukuro in the early hours of the morning.

"What are you doing here?" The blond demanded, all traces of confusion overridden by pure anger. Izaya's lips tugged up at the corners into a sad smile.

"Why does it even matter?" He muttered, his voice barely audible over the wind as it pushed against him, almost as though it was encouraging him to move, to step forward. If one were to see the expression on his face they would have felt their heart breaking; they would have pitied him, even if they despised him for any reason at all. The look in those crimson eyes and the smile on his face only added together to demonstrate just how broken he was at that moment. That's why he kept his back facing Shizuo, he didn't want anyone to see him at his lowest.

He knew perfectly well what would happen if he did; he would die, or at the very least suffer severe injuries.

It seemed as though Mother Nature herself had taken pity on the informant, taking it upon herself to make his decision for him as she strengthened the wind. He embraced it, holding his arms out at his sides and letting his jacket catch the wind, letting it slowly push him ever closer to the edge.

When he heard no sort of response from the other he felt tempted, oh so tempted, to turn and look over his shoulder, to see the blond one last time, but he resisted, keeping his eyes facing forward.

Unbeknownst to him, the bartender turned bodyguard had approached him, perhaps waiting for some sort of explanation for his uncharacteristic behaviour, perhaps to push him off with his own two hands. It didn't matter in the end.

Izaya whispered the five words which would forever haunt the dreams of the man behind him as he stepped forward, his feet leaving the bridge and sending him tumbling through the air to the street below.

"I love you, Shizuo Heiwajima."

A/N: Hey everyone, thanks for reading. I've never really written anything angsty or death-fic before, it was sort of a spur of the moment thing. The idea came to me when I was listening to the radio while washing the dishes and I felt the need to write it down. It ended up being Shizaya because I had early been having a debate with myself in the back of my maths book about what my OTP was. I still haven't decided.

Also, don't bother reviewing to tell me that Izaya was OOC, OF COURSE HE WAS! But you have to admit, one-sided love is the most realistic you're going to get with this pairing, even though I totally ship it, just as much as Karisawa Erika. But that's enough from me I suppose...